It’s almost as common as a handshake these days…

what you're thinking when a guy sends you his dick pic
CREDIT: ©-feelphotoartz-Depositphotos

1) Obviously… That’s long/ short/ thick/ pink/ brown/ purple/ green?/ spotty/ bent/ angled/ veiny

It’s pretty much all good – except the green. It should never be green.

2) Will it fit?

I mean anywhere. I’m accommodating… so let’s give it ago.

3) I hope he washes that remote/can of coke/hairbrush/lynx can that he’s posing it with…

But we’re glad you gave us perspective.

4) Do I really want to know him if he uses Lynx?

No judgement. Okay, yes there is.

5) Does he name it?

Because I’m tempted… Malfoy.

6) How many other people has he sent this out to?

I mean how special am I?

7) When was the last time he got checked out?

…and I don’t mean In a “how-you-doin'” kinda way. I mean sexual-health baby.

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8) How dirty is his floor…

Sometimes it’s the things you see in the background of pictures that speak the most words.

9) What a bush…

Some guys just don’t know how to manscape. Get a strimmer for crying out loud.

10) What no bush?

Some guys just go too far with the razor…

11) What the penis’s story is…

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I mean how many people has it met… What’s the history, what’s the journey?

12) How many photos did he take before he sent it?

Angles, lighting…


13) Will it be compatible with mine?

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