It’s almost as common as a handshake these days…
1) Obviously… That’s long/ short/ thick/ pink/ brown/ purple/ green?/ spotty/ bent/ angled/ veiny
It’s pretty much all good – except the green. It should never be green.
2) Will it fit?
I mean anywhere. I’m accommodating… so let’s give it ago.
3) I hope he washes that remote/can of coke/hairbrush/lynx can that he’s posing it with…
But we’re glad you gave us perspective.
4) Do I really want to know him if he uses Lynx?
No judgement. Okay, yes there is.
5) Does he name it?
Because I’m tempted… Malfoy.
6) How many other people has he sent this out to?
I mean how special am I?
7) When was the last time he got checked out?
…and I don’t mean In a “how-you-doin'” kinda way. I mean sexual-health baby.
8) How dirty is his floor…
Sometimes it’s the things you see in the background of pictures that speak the most words.
9) What a bush…
Some guys just don’t know how to manscape. Get a strimmer for crying out loud.
10) What no bush?
Some guys just go too far with the razor…
11) What the penis’s story is…
I mean how many people has it met… What’s the history, what’s the journey?
12) How many photos did he take before he sent it?
13) Will it be compatible with mine?
The news team for THEGAYUK. Got tips? Go to www.thegayuk.com/newsdesk to tell us something.
YOUR SUPPORT MEANS EVERYTHING
Help us deliver unique, usable and reliable journalism that supports the gay, bisexual and curious community of the United Kingdom. Can you help protect LGBT+ media? Publishers like us have come under severe threat by the likes of Google and Facebook. The problem is that advertisers are choosing to put their money with them, rather than with niche publishers like us. Our goal is to eliminate banner ads altogether on site and we can do that if you could pledge us a tiny amount each month. We're asking our readers to pledge just £1 per month, more if you're feeling swanky. You can stop payment at any time. It's quick and easy to sign up and you'll only have to do it once. Click to start the journey!