A reader thinks its important to have sex all the time, but is still a virgin

Dear Addy

All in good time as they say. There’s no rush to have sex.

I find it interesting that you wrote that you think it’s important to have sex all the time and I wonder how you arrived at that statement.

It’s true, sex is all around us. It’s almost impossible to go a day without seeing some kind of sexualised image or video, but that doesn’t mean that you have to jump onboard the cocktrain if you’re not actually ready to.

However, I’m not here to patronise you. If you’re ready for sex, then you should give some thought about the sex you actually want and not the sex you think you should have or be pressured into giving.

Be strong with your boundaries

A lot of guys, particularly guys new to sex can feel pressured into doing things they don’t really want to. Be strong with your boundaries, don’t be afraid to be your own sexual advocate and take things slowly.

If you’re planning to bottom (having anal sex where you are the receiver) check out this quick guide about how to make sex a little easier and also why lube is really important.

Advertisements
-Advert-

Getting Tested

Finally, you might want to consider looking into going onto PrEP, that’s the drug cocktail which inhibits the spread of HIV. If you’re in the UK, ask at your local sexual health clinic about whether PrEP is a viable option for you – if you’re outside the UK ask your doctor.

Also, it might be worth asking about getting vaccinated against HPV and Hepatitis.

When you’re sexually active, don’t forget it’s always good to go and get tested for sexually transmitted infections often – doctors suggest between every three to six months.

Addy, most importantly, please don’t feel obligated to have sex. While it is fun and exciting, there are risks and problems can arise. Check out our resources page for helpline and resources.

Have you got a sexual or emotional dilemma you’d like us to answer? Click here to send us a message.