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  • Sex With Strangers, Understand The One Night Stand

    For those of you who read my last article, you’ll remember that I said the main thing to remember whilst dating, is to tell the truth, and be totally honest. Well, this piece boasts the complete opposite!

    When it comes to the traditional one night stand, or having sex with strangers, none of the honesty or rules of chivalry apply! In fact, you probably stand a better chance of pulling, if you employ full use of your carefree attitude. So guys, when you’re getting ready to go out tonight, make sure the last thing you put on, is your shagger swagger!

    The beauty of having sex with a stranger is that it can be completely anonymous, and string free. The best part of a relationship, with the added bonus, that it only lasts one night! For those of you that have never slept with a stranger, are you starting to see the appeal yet?

    My advice is to completely invent yourself a pseudonym, build up a whole alter ego, do whatever you like, be whoever you like and do it with whoever you want to do it with! You have to make sure though, that when you’re building up your night-time image, that you have to remember your story! Stick to the lies, you’ll thank me in the morning – never let your secret slip!

    Experiment, it’s always fun to try new things! If one nighters aren’t your thing, then honey, pick up your Bible and tighten up your chastity belt, 2012 isn’t the year for you! If you’re thinking of trying it out, then do it – don’t think too much, you might change your mind! If you’re a more seasoned bed hopper though, why not embrace your adventurous side – my motto – if it’s comfortable and slow – you just aren’t doing it right!

    In my experience, it’s for the best that you Never Swap Numbers, once you do, you run the risk of (a) if you rocked his world, gaining a stalker (b) having to admit you lied and (c) making awkward conversation because you’re too nice to tell him to leave you alone! If you don’t feel comfortable saying no to giving him your number, and can’t make one up off the top of your head – take his, tell him your phone is dead and discard on the way home!

    When sleeping with strangers, it’s a good idea to make sure you watch your level of Intoxication, you don’t want to be so drunk you end up waking up face down in a ditch, with your trousers around your ankles, and all of your possessions gone with the stars! I am going to say though you don’t want to be sober either; you just won’t enjoy yourself if you are! Get yourself to that merry state, and voilà, you’re in for a night filled with filth.

    And, as ever, we at TheGayUK always promote Safer Sex, you can never be too careful! We know that in the heat of the moment, taking the time to roll down your condom is possibly the last thing on your list, but you have to be responsible!

    I hope you enjoy your night, have fun, go wild but most importantly, think P.E.N.I.S. – Pseudonym, Experiment, Never Swap Numbers, Intoxication and Safer Sex.

    As I always say, don’t be a fool – wrap that tool! If you need any advice, or for more information on sexual health visit: http://www.gmfa.org.uk/sex/ better to be safe, than sorry!

  • HOW GAY IS… Beryl Marsden

    The ever-present 60’s icon Beryl Marsden was recently hanging out with David Gest, has Liza Minnelli as a fan, went out on the razz with Dusty Springfield and insists on being called Lady B! (okay we insist on calling her Lady B)

    1. Which Village Person is your favourite?

    The Red Indian. I like his feathers.

    10/10 Short and to the point. A woman who knows what she likes in a man… Feathers. Gay.

    2. Do you know what a Boyzillian is?

    LB: A gay millionaire?

    (Lady B is informed what a Boyzillian is )

    LB: Even their Willy?

    TGUK: Yes…

    LB: Their Bums?

    TGUK: yes…

    LB: Their cracks… (a look of what can only be described as sheer horror and WTF, then laughs and then with head in hands…) ‘Oh dear… How painful!

    10/10 Just for sheer comedy of the moment

    3. Did you ‘Kiss A Girl’ and like it?

    LB: Yes…

    TGUK: Who?

    LB: Not telling…

    TGUK: Did you like it.

    LB: Not for me really… But I did spend time with Dusty Springfield and her girlfriend and a few other lesbian couples. We used to go down to London and spend time at Sombrero. (Very old, gay venue in the 70s, we had to look it up!) It was such an eye-opener, but I loved it. It was still very underground and nothing like the scene today, but I really felt at home.

    8/10 Old school gay nostalgia and a quick lesson in homo history. Bravo…

    4. Do you know where Gay Mecca is?

    LB: Without a doubt Tenerife. Colourful, men with their tops off and every year there’s a huge colourful parade. Love singing to the crowds there.

    7/10 Not mentioned in Spartacus, but we love that where ever Beryl goes there’s a parade. Very Streisand.

    5. Do you know what Poppers are?

    LB: Yes… They used to do it in the clubs in the 60s, but it made your head all funny, so I didn’t try it…

    4/10 Don’t say no till you give it a go dear! We love the headachy high…

    6. What is the most outrageous thing you’ve ever bought?

    LB: Back in the day, I saw this outrageous purple coat with witchy witch collars and cuffs, from a flea market. It was mad. I got it home and looked at myself in the mirror and thought I looked really stupid, the next day I was out and Jimmy Hendrix said, I love that coat… Can I buy it off you? So I marked up the price and sold it on. He looked great in it…

    10/10 Name dropping like Tom Jones, and excellent ‘mark em up, sell em on’ attitude, we love it.

    7. What’s you most surreal moment?

    LB: Standing at the edge of the stage getting ready to sing at the first ever World AIDS Day concert at Wembley with George Michael. Looking out at all those faces was inspiring and I had a moment of ‘I can’t believe this is my life…’

    10/10 Charity concerts with George Michael. Give this woman an OBE.

    8. God’s answer to gay men a) Babysham b) Tom Daley c) The ability to uplight a room with the simplest of incandescent light bulbs?

    LB: Babysham… With Brandy. Try it, it’s disgusting but gets you mad drunk.

    10/10 Mixing drinks. This is gay science. Take a relatively butch spirit and add possibly the gayest drink known to man (and his poodle) as a mixer. Pats, Eddy – I think you’ve got a new recruit.

    9. Any celebrity feuds.

    LB: When I first started to sing with Martha (of the Martha Reeves and the Vandellas fame) she was a right (pauses for a moment to consider the right word) So and So. Really diva-ery. We had words and it got a little hot, if you know, what I mean. She was stressed because people had walked out on a tour and everything was highly emotional. After a few calming words we all knuckled down and the show was a great success.

    5/10 Ok, it’s not Mariah Vs. Whitney (rest her soul) or Mariah Vs. Madonna or Mariah Vs. Mariah, but it’ll do!

    10. A Gay Icon is…

    LB: Somebody who sings with love and joy in their heart, someone who really touches people with their message – that – or having Liza Minnelli as a fan…

    TGUK: Liza’s a fan?

    LB: Well she used to come watch us perform back in the 60s. She was well up for it!

    20/10 She mentioned Liza. Who cares what the score is at this point.

    94% Gay. We had a sneaking suspicion that Lady B was waving that flag. Inside this woman is a whole chorus line waiting to bust out in a song from Cabaret.

    Beryl is performing at the Soho festival in London, Soho on Sunday the 15th July (55 Deans Street) and has a brand new album out called Changes – The Story of Beryl Marsden out now on RPM/ Cherry Red Records

  • FILM REVIEW | The Mission

    ★★★★ | The Mission

    The Mission contains enough heart, energy and soul for any audience to forgive the rough around the edges finish. It outweighs many of its more polished, bigger competitors in its intentions and message.

    Set in the Mission district of San Francisco, Che Rivera (Benjamin Bratt) is an admired, macho, tattooed and well respected man. Bus driver, single father, recovering alcoholic, ex con and spends his spare time fine-tuning his beloved customised ‘low rider’ (that’s a vintage automobile for the uninitiated). Living with him is his treasured only son Jesse (Jeremy Ray Valdez) who has a secret not yet told to his father. You start to understand why as the story progresses. Upstairs, Lena has just moved in. A strong, fiercely independent and earthy woman, who works at the shelter for abused women. Lena begins to fall for Che, until a side of him is revealed that she fears she’s seen the results of all too often at the shelter. Upon the discovery of his son’s sexuality Che violently disowns his son in a gritty on-street spat, a difficult, heartbreaking scene to watch in gay cinema; it tears the two apart. The neighbourhood, an audience to the event, learn about Jesse’s sexuality, which sends homophobic ripples through the Latino community. The writer’s intentions may have been to focus on the relationship between father and son, but overwhelmingly the focus falls on the Latino community, and how it might play a role in the way fathers treat their gay sons.

    The story is told with truth and empathy for Che, Jesse and Lena; the casting is brilliant and crucially credible. Valdez, plays his Latino homosexuality with dignity, sensitivity and courage. His worry, isolation and the confinement of his sexuality is played exceptionally (I fell in love with his doey eyed, submissiveness.) Yet, strangely, we don’t hate his father – although we should. Instead we desperately want his father to understand and to accept. It could be clichéd, but it isn’t, we’re being allowed to participate in this bittersweet, intimate, father/son journey.

    Che’s tolerance gets an invigorated jolt, when his son is attacked on the streets of Mission, but there are pot holes along the way. He refuses to accept Jesse’s boyfriend, who for all intents and purposes comes from a different planet; monied, middle class, educated and white. The stark opposition makes the relationship, at best, two-dimensional, a more powerful script may have demanded another Latino boy for real punch and grit.

    Che, with the loving of a good woman (Lena), starts to welcome Jesse back into his life, but feels a little incongruous, in the respect that by satisfying Che’s love-life he is able to accept his son’s.

    The language is sometimes simplistic and the resolution premature for it to really feel believable. I like my loose ends tied up – The Mission’s resolve feels clunky. However the theme and issues buried in this film are vitally important – the teenage ‘coming out story’ from – and for an entirely new generation. I applaud the movie makers for The Mission’s integrity, worth and ambition.

    Available to buy / view on: Amazon

  • INTERVIEW | Kris Searle

    Multi award winning singer-songwriter Kris Searle talks about his new single Starfire, stealing boxer shorts and being an English man across the pond.

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  • BOOK REVIEW | Jack Holmes And His Friend

    Grand master of gay literature, Edmund White, is now in his 70s and his first novel was published in 1973. He’s renowned for his classic novel “A Boy’s Own Story” which accompanied me through an episode of glandular fever back in my teens and made the days bearable.

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  • BOOK REVIEW | James Lear

    The nation’s women are gripped by “Fifty Shades of Grey” fever. Huddles of women are whispering about it in corners and passing dog eared copies back and forth. Book shops are selling out and the author is breaking records all round with her tale of BDSM sex and raunch. It set me thinking about how a few of my friends and I experienced a similar phenomena with the books of James Lear.

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  • SINGLE REVIEW | Wing, Little Mix

    Genius. I didn’t have much hope for the debut release for the winning X Factor quartet, but if the first single ‘Wings’ is anything to go by Little Mix’s album is going to be fresh, innovative and dare I say, quirky.

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  • GROOMING REVIEW: Right Guard XTREME COOL

    TGUK were sent some of Right Guard’s new deodorant and shower gel ‘xtreme cool’ range. We decided to put them to the test on the hardest working member of The Gay UK team.

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  • FILM REVIEW | Our Paradise

    Despite its lack of motive, this film nurtures a disturbing subculture of achieving status by taking what’s not yours to take.

    Something deeply dark and disturbing yet visually enticing awaits viewers for this French drama about a 30-something hustler whose neurosis about ageing is, we assume, turning him to a motiveless murderous monster. After finding a younger man (Dimitri Durdaine) lying dazed, damaged and suffering from memory loss in the cruising grounds of Bois de Boulogne, Paris, Vassili (Stephane Rideau) shrouds his new muse, becoming a hybrid of pimp/lover figure to his new squeeze. After a client, who Vassili believes he had murdered, is discovered living in Paris, the two lovers and now accomplices are forced to go on the run.

    Our Paradise is an enigmatically beautiful piece of cinematography with much thought given to ensuring that the characters are either corpulently grotesque or fallen angelic beauties, not in equal measure, however. Angelo is the fallen angelic beauty – both inside and out. Vassili’s world is full of these gross, bloated and aged individuals who, one imagines used to be paying trade, now, with fresh blood, and Vassili’s burgeoning potbelly hindering his prospects; the fallen angelic beauty reignites business. One odd scene, Angelo is examined by a doctor, ostensibly to see whether the boy was raped shoves a camera into the boy’s anus and describes his findings ‘smooth as silk.’ This is, however, as far as character probing goes. Uncomplex and a little two dimensional in some respects the characters are more animalistic in their pursuits. Durdaine is almost entirely detached from his character, which adds to the rather chilling but lonely portrayal of Angelo.

    Durdaine plays an almost perfect twink to Rideau’s inflated frame and the audience is given many opportunities to revel in his nakedness, which of course is wonderful and does distract from some the many questions that the film’s lack of motive throws up.

    One of the key issues explored is the often mismatched relationships between younger gay men and their respective elder partners. The narrative doesn’t judge, but merely outlines the possible issues faced by such relationships, most notable replaceability for a younger, newer, fresher model and the power struggle between the monied and the beneficiary.

    The supporting cast is superb, their performances loiter in the mind as an uneasy feeling engulfs you. Sterling performances from supporting cast Béatrice Dalle and a young Mathis Morisset who shows acting promise far beyond his years.

    The brilliantly translated subtitles really draw you into the action, distracting the audience from analysing our anti heroes’ intentions. Why the film is called Our Paradise remains, annoyingly elusive, as paradise is unobtainable for Vassili and Angelo. The ending makes the film feel a little pointless and if you’re looking for a bow to wrap up the little details you certainly won’t find it in this film.

  • 10 Things You Ought To Know About Wearing Short Shorts

    10 Things You Ought To Know About Wearing Short Shorts

    The summer months are upon us and some of us are daring to bare.

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  • LOOK AT ME | Rylan Clark, I go commando…

    LOOK AT ME | Rylan Clark, I go commando…

    You can’t dispute that Mr Rylan Clark is one of the most talked about contestants on X FACTOR… like ever.

    He hangs out with Ms Price, is friends with Towie’s Harry Derbidge, calls the Two Shoes (XFactor) girls BBFs and his fans are affectionally known as Sirens, he wears a Stonewall ‘Some people are gay T shirt’ Our gay-o-meter has officially exploded.

     

    1) Have you ever bitch slapped someone in a Alexis Dynasty style?

    I actually haven’t! it is on my list of things to do, although there are one or two people in the picture at the moment. Watch this space!

    7/10 One or two people? Details Rylan, We want details of your celebrity feuds…

     

    2) What’s the most outrageous thing you’ve ever bought?

    Its not a purchase but i was once given a bottle of snake venom face serum, its worth something ridiculous like a few grand, and comes with a massive warning certificate not to take it orally. No one tells me not to take it orally…

    10/10 Dirty, snake loving gayness. Britney loved a bit of snake back in the day.

     

    3) Are you a bottle blonde?

    Haha I am a bottle blonde i wont lie, but recently have just gone black! I’m already missing the burning sensation of peroxide. TAKE ME BACK!

    10/10 Ah, just like Ms. Pricey: Blonde, Black, Blonde, Black. Where will it all end?

     

    4) Have you Botox’d?

    I haven’t actually had Botox no, but i have had my lips done. Im actually learning how to do Botox and fillers at the moment!

    9/10 Following in the footsteps of some other well known Essex birds and opening your own “Salon” LOVE IT LOVE IT. Can we make a group booking?

     

    5) Can you complete this passage from the Gay bible?

    I made it through the wilderness, Somehow I made it through

    DIDNT KNOW HOW LOST I WAS UNTIL I FOUND YOU-OOOOOHHHH

    10/10 For some reason I’m picturing shots of Jagerbombs, a poll dance and copious amount of vomit… A good night had by all.

     

    6) Who is your style icon?

    I don’t really have a style icon, I do wear ridiculous outfits but i like to look at different people and take bits that i like and work them together. Then again at home i’ll wear a trackie going commando, you cant beat it!

    9/10 Flying in the face of fashion without a care – extra marks for talking about flying free in sweats.

     

    7) Have you ever dumped a boy because his boy parts were too small?

    No i haven’t, that don’t bother me too much as it’s mine that needs to be a good size in the bedroom if you know what i mean……

    8/10 Are you boasting Mr Clark?

     

    8) Thank Liza because:

    a) Summer is here and boys are roaming the streets topless?

    b) Kylie has a smash on her hands with TimeBomb?

    c) Pimms makes drinking in the afternoon acceptable – and kills the pain?

    D – ALL OF THE ABOVE, love that crack-whore she’s a genius

    15/10 As do we, As do we…

     

    9) Who would play you in a movie of your life?

    I have no idea, I haven’t met someone like me who i think could do the job properly. maybe we should do auditions!

    7/10 Wheel out the casting couch…

     

    10) Have you ever used Miss Price’s name to get someone into bed?

    I haven’t no, to be honest I’ve been single for 3 years, its not a great feeling but just the way it is, I’m on the lookout for a husband so if anyones interested drop me a line! haha!

    10/10 Like any good celebrity, using the rags to get a husband… Bravo Bravo…

     

    Who knew. We love a bit of Rylan. Well actually we love of Rylan. Coming to a celebrity party near you.

     

    to catch up Rylan check outhttp://www.twitter.com/rylanclark

     

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