Emily Atack has climbed to the top of Betway’s I’m A Celebrity outright winner market after just her first night in the jungle.
Immediately the centre of attention after sky-diving into camp before being named as this year’s first to face a Bushtucker Trial, Atack is now the leading online bookmaker’s 11/4 favourite having been as big as 11/2 before Sunday night.
Pre-show fancy James McVey has gone cold in the betting and is out to 8/1 from 9/2, while X Factor finalist Fleur East has impressed early on and has been cut to 13/2 from 12/1.
Betway’s Alan Alger said, “After the first night in the jungle, punters are beginning to strongly side with Emily Atack and she’s now our new 11/4 favourite to go all the way. She featured heavily in the opening show and faces the first Bushtucker Trial, so on entertainment value alone she’s made a fast start.
“Fleur East has been backed into 13/2 from 12/1 after a busy opening show, while James McVey, a big early fancy at 9/2, failed to get much air-time and has been pushed out to 8/1.”
We are all aware of reports in the media regarding suicide rates. So much so that sometimes we’d really rather not think about it. Understandably the repetitive nature of some of the stories means we may have become desensitised to what is, in all honesty, a truly tragic event.
You are not alone. There are many organisations you can reach out to.
The contagious nature of suicide is well documented. As seen in our universities, often multiple suicides will follow each other. In France the press refrain from reporting death from suicide on the underground as it’s been proven to trigger spates of similar acts. Recommended reading: Stay
What is less understood, however, is the positive effects of rejecting suicide as an option – positive contagion. With increased understanding the hope is we can have a positive impact.
As a therapist I’m often incensed when someone mentions how selfish the act of suicide is.
Just to be clear… if you can’t imagine how anyone could get to that point, then please consider yourself very fortunate.
Many of us may not have got to the planning stage but can certainty identify with the feeling or sentiment. Try to think of a time when you really felt life was too much and you weren’t sure how you were going to get through the next day. I f you can do that you might have a sniff of how it feels to be in the grip of despair. I say grip because that’s as close a description I can give as to how the people I sit with communicate this phenomenon to me. Have you ever been driven to achieve or wanted something so badly that all you can think about is how achieving or having this thing will make feel better, then you will also have an idea of how it feels to contemplate suicide.
When this feeling drives us to succeed it is seen by society as a positive attribute, when not then it’s seen as a negative. When we have tipped into depression these thoughts can, in fact, almost take on a life of their own – over which some people may have little or no control. A driver is a driver – if we have the ability to push ourselves, this attribute can work for us as it can against us.
At this point I feel it’s only fair to say that some believe suicide is not necessarily a bad thing. Assisted dying would be a case in point. In Ancient Greece the idea of a good death was highly valued.
For the purposes of this article we are going to focus on what we perceive to be the tragic lives cut short when there might have been an intervention that could have helped.
One of the most tragic of forms of death is when a person takes their own life. We could say that not only they have fallen victim to this tragedy, but the knock on effect to their family and friends, who are often victims as well, is extreme
Correctly identifying the causes of suicide within the gay community is difficult as there are a myriad of reasons why one would end their life, and it is hard to pin point the degree to which our sexuality plays a role. But it is probably safe to say that the suicide rate within the UK gay community is increasing.
“Research shows that more than 40 per cent of LGBTQ+ people will experience a significant mental health problem in their lives, compared to around 25 per cent of the whole population, and people from the LGBTQ+ community are more than twice as likely to have attempted suicide. More than four in five (84 per cent) of transgender people have considered suicide and 50 per cent have actually attempted suicide, compared to an average of less than 6 per cent in the wider population.” (https://www.mind.org.uk/news-campaigns/news/celebrities-stephen-fry-and-juno-dawson-support-mind-s-lgbtqplus-mental-health-event) In my opinion this speaks to the lack of understanding we have of the complex nature of this phenomenon. We do know that if are male you are 75% more likely to succeed than if you were a female.
Unhelpful Beliefs Only Add to the Confusion and Pain
In 400 BC Aquinas elevated suicide to a mortal sin. Some religions believe your soul will be damned if you take your own life. Others believe you will be rewarded. Our evolved society now understands the dogma various religions was used to influence its members. However now these methods have become outdated. According to Jung society has a collective unconscious. From literature to television the script we have been fed and possibly internalised would suggest the suicidal act is depraved, wrong or sinful. Feelings many in the gay community can identify with.
Death divorce life and death can all trigger to feelings of depression. Add to that living in a society that still struggles to respect and accept homosexuality and it’s not hard to see how people within the gay community are more prone to feelings of worthlessness, shame and unacceptance thus may make it more likely to experience suicidal thoughts: understanding yourself and what you are feeling is key.
Try to engage with your future self. Remember that the loudest voice in your head might not be the best one to listen to. Speak to a trusted friend or therapist to try and help you understand what those voices are saying.
If your tendency is for extreme highs and lows anyway, add to that a traumatic event or a bereavement and those lows can seem very low indeed. A well-recognised symptom of depression is frightening thoughts. Try to remember that thoughts are just thoughts and feelings are just feelings – neither should be in the driving seat. We often miss assign our thoughts, especially when we are feeling down.
Some past misdemeanour slip shame or guilt can push us to places we wouldn’t have believed possible when we are feeling low. Many within the gay community will be able to identify with this. But you may not be aware the destructive nature these thoughts can have. Don’t suffer in silence – talk to someone – friend, counsellor, Samaritans.
We can often feel trapped in the world. Some people believe that suicide is the ultimate choice. Try to remember there are many ways out of our current situations that we often may not see. When we are low, suicide can seem like a luminous exit sight in the doorway of our lives. If you can recognise any of these symptoms try and seek help.
Recent monies promised by the government are earmarked for emergency care rather than long term prevention policies. Compare the resources dedicated to fighting terrorism which kills a fraction of our society with the amount of time and money spent on suicide prevention and it is not hard to see why we aren’t making any serious impact in fighting the increasing suicide rate. Less than 40 people were killed in 2017 in the UK in terrorist related incidents (https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/0/many-people-killed-terrorist-attacks-uk) compared with more than 6,213 self-inflicted deaths (https://www.samaritans.org/sites/default/files/suicide_statistics_report_2018.pdf ). According to the UK government website they spent/will spend over £730 million on fighting terrorism in 2017/18. (https://www.gov.uk/government/news/multi-million-pound-boost-for-counter-terrorism-policing)
However, we are slowly starting to see a welcome change in our government’s psyche with the Prime Minister’s appointment of Jackie Doyle-Price, the UK’s first minister for suicide prevention. May has also pledged £1.8 million to help ensure the charity can continue providing its free helpline for the next four years. The Government “has also promised more support in schools, bringing in new mental health support teams and offering help in measuring students’ health, including their mental well-being.” It is imperative that we educate and increase our understanding of the complex social issues that affect those in the gay community. We need to highlight the isolation gay men can feel and offer them a safe caring environment to discuss their feelings.
We all suffer – it’s the human condition. In knowing that, we know we are not alone. Help is out there. Whatever the wrongs and rights in the words of Shakespeare, remember we all have the choice to be or not to be. In the words of Rudyard Kipling’s poem If
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone, And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’
In this article, I am reaching out to tell you are not alone and to ask you to PLEASE find the courage to be.
Psycotherapist Jane Barnfield Jukes is Founder of Online Therapy Service The Practice (www.thepractice.co.uk). To book a free telephone consultation for online therapy please call 0333 0096 321.
Jane is also Founder of Eudeamon natural supplements. Their supplements are natural way to overcome emotional and psychological difficulties and are available from Amazon.co.uk
Iron Bloom restaurant in Shoreditch is easy to walk right past, not knowing it’s there. Well, don’t walk past, go straight in!
Iron Bloom, on Great Eastern Street, in one of the trendiest parts of London, is recognisable only by its beautiful chandelier in the large front window. Next to the window is an imposing iron door. Once you get into the restaurant, you will discover that it is cool and laid back and warm and friendly, just like the food and the staff.
The brunch menu, which was on offer on the bright sunny Saturday afternoon we went, is a potpourri of food. There are typical brunch items (French Toast, Full English Breakfast, Eggs), as well as more unique lunch items (Wild Boar, Sunday Roast Yorkshire Taco, and Spinach Pancake Fritters). The menu says that the main course plates are small dishes and that two or three dishes per person are recommended, so that is what we did, we ordered two dishes each. Boy, we were in for a surprise!
My first order was the Spinach Pancake Fritters, American style pancakes but made with spinach, with bacon and a poached egg on top, and lots of butter to substitute for syrup. They were nice and brown and delicious. While a bit pricey (£13) – I had never had pancakes made this way before. There was a hint of chilli in the fritter, but it didn’t take away from the enjoyment of the dish. My friend had the Wagyu Beef and Bone Marrow Burger with Bacon and Cheese (£15), and with the meat being Wagyu, it had to be very good, and it was, and perfectly cooked. The burger included fried onions and lettuce, with a black sesame seed bun for an extra dose of uniqueness – highly recommended. So these two dishes were main course sizes, and I was beginning to wonder if ordering second dishes was a smart move. Well, my second dish – the French Toast – was a massive portion good enough for two people! Huge Challah-style bread, with wild forest berries sprinkled all over, served with banana dairy-free ice cream & chocolate sauce – was an enormous dish. The french toast was also enormously perfect – perhaps the best looking ones I’ve ever had in London (I am American, and I know my french toast!). Chocolate Sauce is a very good substitute for syrup, though I still do prefer syrup, it was excellent and worth every pound (£14 to be exact) – highly recommended. My friend’s side dish of Crack & Cheese (the crack being a cracker of parmesan embedded into a macaroni and cheese dish consisting of brie, stilton and cheddar) was a perfect, and large, accompaniment to his burger.
All the food we ordered was just perfect. And I have to say that we left the restaurant with very full bellies!
The drinks were also very memorable! I had the Berrigroni – a drink that was light and fruity – with Put e Mes vermouth, and light syrup with an orange slice – which made for a delicious, and affordable (£10), drink. My friend loved his Bloom Sour – a twist on a Pisco Sour – with homemade pineapple, syrup, chilli bitter, lime, egg white and a sprinkling of homemade raspberry powder on top – all squashed into a petit cocktail glass. It definitely had a kick! Meanwhile, their Peruvian and Chilean coffee was perfect to end the meal with, and then we were treated to a shot each of Ammazzacafe´, a liquorice-tasting liqueur which is usually drunk after coffee. Highly recommended whether you have coffee or not.
Iron Bloom has an upstairs and a downstairs. It’s a very industrial look that fits in perfectly with the neighbourhood. There are two cosy booths upstairs that would each fit a party of 5 comfortably, while the rest is stool-style eating (for about 30 people total upstairs and perhaps a bit less downstairs, which is where the kitchen is). It’s actually very stylish and cool, as is Del the bartender, the lovely hostess and waitress Elena (Hi Elena!), and Dean the chef, a born and bred Londoner who really knows a thing or two about cooking. Thanks to the entire staff we had an amazing meal and experience. And you will too, just make sure you don’t walk past the iron door!
Spanish stallion Dani Robles has taken the European porn world by storm this year, taking home the crown of Best Newcomer at the Prowler Porn Awards 2018.
He’s graced screens across the world in and out of his impeccably tailored suits, with his movie star good looks and those pearly whites. But we at THEGAYUK like to go past the glamour and really get to know a guy and so we sat down with Mr Robles to do just that. Here are 5 things you didn’t already know about Dani Robles. Handy to know since we’re all not so secretly want to marry him, right?
1. If you ever wondered what Dani’s type? The answer is for our Spanish stallion it’s more about the personality. He likes a guy who works out and stays healthy but without a nice and caring personality, a good body doesn’t mean anything to him.
2. He started porn a whole 4 years ago! His first ever scene was for the studio Men at Play and featured our Spanish stallion getting hot and sweaty in the gym.
3. Dani is pretty well known for having a great bubble butt and unsurprisingly studios cast him in the bottom role for most of his films. In his private life, however, Mr Robles is completely versatile. For him, it’s all about the chemistry and so all you bottoms out there be rest assured, there is hope he’s still the man for you!
4. His favourite city in the whole world is Barcelona, he loves everything about it! The architecture, food and views, make it his go-to destination whenever he gets some free time.
5. Last on our list is his favourite song, wanting to put a smile on his face? Have Aaliyah: We Need a Resolution on in the background!
This morning I was on Twitter and I clicked on the #TransAwarenessWeek hashtag and I came across a very insightful tweet from a user, who gave some great tips.
Let me tell you about my own gender expression before we go on. I don’t think of myself as a “man” because I don’t really fit into what society expects of its men. When I was a child all I wanted to do was be called a girl, wear high heels, my mum’s dresses and sing Petula Clark’s ‘Downtown’ on repeat. I was a Grade A queer/trans kid.
Nowadays, I dress in masculine clothes, I have a boyfriend, I have short hair and people assume that I’m a man, and a gay one at that. I enjoy the privileges that, for the most part, that assumed identity affords me. But, it never really feels right when someone refers to me in that way.
That said, I don’t mind if people use the pronouns him/his or he when they refer to me. Although it does jar me if someone calls me a man. Weird.
I also don’t mind it if I’m referred to with female pronouns.
I’m pretty relaxed about the pronouns that are used to describe me.
But for some, words really matter. So here’s some advice to help us all become better allies to our non-binary, gender non-conforming siblings.
It seems that we’ve all got our lives set to transmit only. We need more receiving in our lives. So when someone is telling you something about them, listen.
Someone once wisely told me, “Assumptions are the mother of all fuck-ups” – and they were completely right. How often have you assumed something about a situation only to find that nothing was as you imagined? Pretty often, right?
Your assumptions are based on your own life experience. It doesn’t take into account other people’s experience. So leave your assumptions at the door and again, open your mind.
If a person tells you what their preferred pronoun is, accept it don’t fight it. It’s what they’ve asked you to call them. The decision is effectively out of your hands. It’s the same as when someone tells you their name. You accept it and it becomes part of their identity. Well, pronouns are the same.
Some non-binary, gender fluid and gender non-conforming folks use a number of different pronouns. Some popular ones are: Zim/Zer and Ze, they/them and theirs or even thon, which was actually added to the dictionary in 1964. They as a singular pronoun has been used for centuries.
It’s not particularly new, it’s not trend based, it’s just getting a lot of media attention at the moment.
Blue for boys, Pink for girls… gender stereotyping is all so 1950s and really doesn’t work for today’s society. No one likes living in a predefined box and we don’t live in a black and white world. There’s a whole rainbow out there.
Gender norms and stereotypes, when adhered to, just keeps society attached to a patriarchal system that’s almost impossible to climb and doesn’t work for all of us, particularly LGBT+ people. So lets bin it shall we?
Normalise the conversation surrounding pronouns. Write your preferred pronouns in your social media profiles. As @thalestral says on Twitter, “normalise that shit”.
Also on twitter, stop assuming people’s pronouns based on their profile pic and your binary stereotypes.
Read their profile. Check their pronouns. Don’t assume.
And while you’re there, put your own pronouns in your profile.
Here it is: the Elton John Lewis Christmas advert.
Here at TGUK tower, Christmas doesn’t officially start until we see the John Lewis advert. In the past, we’ve been left in a collective ball of sobbing queens. This year is no exception, but you’ll have to wait for the very last frame before the squish factor really comes in.
The story focuses on Elton John sitting at the piano, recalling his life as a mega pop star through his famous hit, “Your Song”. All throughout the years, his trusty piano has been by his side.
Of course, the advert has left many on social media divided.
Some, of course, are very cynical,
The John Lewis advert is basically one big plug for Elton John (whose concert tickets go on sale today too).
They don’t even sell pianos! #EltonJohnLewispic.twitter.com/Hckaii2HRr
The fact everyone waits in excited anticipation each year for Coca Cola and John Lewis to tell us it’s time to start buying their shit sums the UK up pretty well, really.
Some used the advert to take a swipe at the government
The John Lewis advert goes backwards in time through the life of Elton John, to the moment he received a piano for Christmas.
How tragic that so many children in the UK will miss out on learning music due to govt cuts.
Over 120,000 homeless children this Christmas in the UK.
Here we have Volvo’s mid-sized SUV, the XC60. By all accounts, it’s a popular car. Judging by the number of them on the road, you would be right. But is it any good? Does it cover ground better than others in its class and is the Momentum Pro worth the £42,105 asking price?
Driving
When the XC60 arrived, I was a bit disappointed for it not being an automatic. Manuals in city driving aren’t much fun. That said, the diesel D4 engine works well with the manual box, better in many ways than the auto. It has a fluidity in its workings. Just keep an eye on the rev counter though. Unless really pushed, the engine is subdued in noise suppression.
What then helped living with the manual was the spread of low down torque of 400 Nm from 1750rpm. That sounds quite high, but I can assure you that it will pull cleanly in 4th from below 1500rpm. And then come the problems, sort of. Because of the way it works and the gearing, 5th and 6th really are very redundant gears. They were not used on my 40-mile daily commute. Only on Sunday when the roads were clearer, was I actually able to use 5th.
The XC60 with its all-wheel-drive system is sure-footed and secure even when hustling it around. Its ride balance in “comfort” was just right. Aided no doubt by its generous 50 profile tyres giving it a good soft sidewall.
Inside
Here is were Volvo really do exceed in excellence. Their interiors are probably the nicest places to navigate the great outdoors from. In the Momentum, you are treated to bright cream leather coverings and silver accent trim around the cabin. This isn’t the best from Volvo; they also offer wood that adds even more to the exceptional expensive feel of the cabin space.
And that’s just what the driver feels. There is room for four others to enjoy the ambience of the car. Admittedly, for what looks like a large vehicle, it doesn’t exactly translate into masses of cabin space, but you’re not left feeling squeezed. It’s just right.
Living With It
My week with the XC60 was one full of various driving conditions. From sunny days to torrential rain at night, it carried my passengers and me in safety and comfort.
On the move, the XC60 has a calmness surrounding it. There were a couple of incidences where people pulled out in front of me, and the usual words were said. And then calmness. Remember that scene from Spaced where Brian is painting manically, and then he receives a call from Twist, and he is then unable to paint due to being calm and content? It’s like that.
The Verdict
I could work for Volvo and sell these, day in, day out. The XC60 is a great vehicle. It’s calming, competent and exceptionally well put together which does belie the asking price. £42k is not a lot really when it comes like this and with this level of spec.
If I am to nitpick, and I have to, I’d say there are a few areas it needs to be improved on. For a start, it needs a left footrest. It’s not like there isn’t any space there for it either. You can stretch out your left leg with ease, it’d just sometimes you need a place to rest that foot that isn’t on the clutch pedal. And the stop/start button. Its razzmatazz looks a little out of place and a bit too blingy.
And you see, I’m nitpicking and because of that, I’m giving this five stars.
“I think in 20 or 30 years time we’ll look back of the transgender debate and particularly the business being done by the Tavistock clinic with children, as a grotesque form of child abuse”
Controversial left-wing columnist, Rod Liddle has spoken out about how he thinks in the future society will look back the current debate surrounding transgender rights with dismay.
Speaking on The Brendan O’Neil Show, Rod Liddle singled out the Tavistock Clinic in particular and claimed that in decades to come society will deem the work that they do as “a grotesque form of child abuse”.
The Tavistock Clinic is home to the largest and most established gender identity clinic (GIC) in the UK, dating back to 1966. According to the website, the clinic is a “multi-disciplinary administrative and clinical team, including psychologists, psychiatrists, endocrinologists and speech and language therapists”.
The clinic also runs a Gender Identity Develop Service (GIDS) which is for children and young people who “who experience difficulties in the development of their gender identity.”
Speaking on the podcast the columnist said, “I think in 20 or 30 years time we’ll look back of the transgender debate and particularly the business being done by the Tavistock clinic with children, as a grotesque form of child abuse”
Hate Crimes and Victim Culture
The show was titled called Hate Crimes and Victim Culture and Rod Liddle started talking about lesbian feminists who he said were angry with some aspects of the transgender debate.
They even took some time to record a quick special message for their son before jumping on a jet to head out to Austrailia.
John Snr, said, “We’re really excited about John going into the jungle, it’s going to be a great time for us, we’re flying out there to be a big part of the party and to celebrate the winner who comes out of the jungle… Marion, we hope it’s him”
The “You Can’t Deny It” tweet has been deleted from Jaden Smith’s Twitter account.
Following on from an admission from Jaden Smith that Tyler The Creator was his boyfriend, the backtrack has seemingly commenced.
Shortly after the concert, Jaden tweeted, Tyler a message saying, “‘Yup @tylerthecreator I Told Everyone You Can’t Deny It Now.”
However, that Tweet has now been deleted.
The initial tweet sent from Jaden’s official account received a reply from Tyler, who wrote, “hahaha you a crazy n**** man”
The reply from Tyler still remains on Twitter.
So was Jaden’s coming out just a publicity stunt?
At the Camp Flog Gnaw Carnival, Jaden told the audience, “I just wanna say Tyler, The Creator is the best friend in the world. And I love him so f**ing much, and I wanna tell you guys something, I wanna tell you, Tyler doesn’t wanna say, but Tyler is my mother f***ing boyfriend.”
He continued, “And he’s been my mother fing boyfriend my whole fing life,”
The announcement was filmed by various audience members.
Would you pay £350,000 for a one-bed place on Mars?
Architectural experts have drawn up prototypes of what living conditions on Mars might be like when the Red Planet is colonised by humans.
A panel of specialists worked alongside a visualisation team to predict how future Martian homes are likely to look, with interior and exterior images released for a variety of futuristic residential builds.
The team produced particulars for three distinct dwellings; an apartment aimed at young professionals, a family home and a luxury mansion.
Key considerations include light and how to protect the living area of homes from cosmic rays and hazardous levels of radiation, as well as insulation from the cold and protection from severe dust storms.
The drawings have been produced after research revealed one in ten Brits would move to Mars tomorrow, with a sense of adventure, enjoying more space and escaping human dangers on earth among the top reasons for swapping planets.
Stephen Petranek, author of the book How We’ll Live on Mars, which the National Geographic series MARS is based on, said: “It’s exciting to think that humans will be living on Mars far sooner than most people think.
“The second series of MARS considers how a community might be built and sustained on the Red Planet in the 2040s, and what the challenges will be both from a practical and a human standpoint.
“For this forward-thinking project, we’ve predicted what different homes on Mars might actually look like, with options to suit a range of budgets.
“There are plenty of elements to consider, from ensuring an adequate shield to the harsh radiation Mars endures because its atmosphere is so thin, to the need for homely touches reminiscent of Earth.
“Ultimately, living on Mars must seem more appealing and psychologically inviting than living on Earth or not enough people will want to make a new life there.
“As we make these predictions now, we can only wonder what designs we will actually adopt as hundreds of thousands of people eventually move to the Red Planet.”
The Mars apartment block features a number of living pods aimed at individuals and couples, with tunnels leading to a central shared garden and workspaces.
It is protected from the sun’s rays by tinted glazing featuring coating technology developed to filter out the radiation and rammed earth walls, designed to protect from the cold as well as cosmic rays.
The family home is built within a protective cave, with a driveway leading to an inbuilt garage as well as a conservatory-style veranda made from protective glass that offers a small indoor garden area.
The kind of natural light we would usually get from our windows on Earth is simulated via LEDs and camera systems that can show the outside landscape in real-time to mimic windows, and could even be programmed to provide other vistas.
For example parks, forests, rivers – familiar sights from Earth that our Martian residents might be missing.
The mansion is part of a crater community, offering show-stopping vistas across the cavity from three levels.
It boasts a huge living space with private indoor garden and multi-gym that allows for ‘outdoor’ activities such as sports to take place in an artificially-oxygenated environment as well as a carport that can hold multiple vehicles.
According to the National Geographic research a fifth of Brits predict that it will be possible to move to Mars within their lifetime, and there is a significant appetite to make an interplanetary move.
One in six revealed that with people struggling to get on the housing ladder on Earth, buying property on Mars is looking like a more attractive prospect.
Brits revealed that the opportunity to enjoy a better quality of life, the desire to seek new adventure and the need to flee human dangers on Earth such as war would be the most likely factors to precipitate a move to Mars.
However, almost nine in ten predicted they would miss some aspects about life on Earth, including their pets and even the British weather.
MARS series 2 is on National Geographic every Sunday at 8pm.
