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RESTAURANT REVIEW | The Allegory, London

★★★★| The Allegory, London

If you like your boozy brunches, then you’re going to love The Allegory.

For 2 hours, (and £40 per person), you can drink four different types of alcoholic drinks while being served various sorts of brunchy type foods (nibbles are more like it) all in the confines of a cool trendy setting in a venue where staff are more than happy to continue to pour the alcohol before your two hours are up, when the time is up the alcohol stops.

The Allegory is in the section between the City (the very top of Bishopsgate) and Shoreditch in an area that used to be a sort of no man’s land (where now a 50-story residential tower is being constructed). It’s a part of town that used to be a bit lost, but you won’t be lost trying to decide what to have from The Allegory’s Garden Brunch menu because you get it all!

First, let’s start with the booze. Your choices are Pornstar Spritz (refreshing and beautifully presented), Bloody Mary (with a tomato, celery stick with a lemon inside and watercress), Peroni Nastro Azzurro beer (330ml) and Rosato Spumante (125ml) (served in a classy champagne glass).

And for the food? Does it really matter? You’re not really there for the food anyway! But for your FYI, the first course is a Grilled pink grapefruit with créme fraiche & Pistachios, and Greek yoghurt with honey-baked granola. The Granola was fine and served in a small oval shaped glass – a very healthy dish, but the grapefruit was very hard to eat as it was not precut by the kitchen – so in trying to eat it the pulp flew all over the place, including in my lunch companions face!

The second course was much easier to eat – Eggs Benedict and Eggs Florentine – classic dishes that need no explanation.

After the second or third booze round, (or was it the fourth – whose counting?), a small bench was placed on our table that would be the plate holder for the next and final course, but not really a course but more like a harang of nibbles. Buttermilk chicken, bacon & maple syrup with avocado, and fruit & honey – all served in small sandwich style, tiny but tasty, and adequate. We also received a bowl of Breaded mushrooms & halloumi. This is the type of food that lines the stomach, but it’s not necessarily gourmet nor fine dining. But as mentioned before, you are not here for the food, it’s all about the alcohol, and there will be plenty of it, and you will definitely get your money’s worth if this is your thing.

The Allegory

1a Principal Place, Worship Street, EC2A 2BA

OPENING HOURS:
Monday to Wednesday: 7.30am till 11pm

Thursday and Friday: 7.30am till late

Saturday: 10am till 00.30am

Sunday: available for private hire

3rd September 2018
CABARET REVIEW | Black Cat: Bohemia

★★☆☆☆ | Black Cat: Bohemia

The Black Cat cabaret has been slinking its way round the London circuit for a good few years and frankly, it’s starting to look a bit mangey round the haunches. This autumn’s incarnation is themed around Bohemia with an attempt at a demi-monde atmosphere but which has about as much relation to the bohemian style as an afternoon sipping Sherry and nibbling on Bourbon biscuits with your auntie Pam from Dagenham.

The problem lies, not in the acts but in the overall show which is lacking in edge. If you’ve seen cabaret before you’ll also have seen it all before and it’ll either have been similar, better or worse in quality than you witness here, which isn’t the problem.

There’s the usual acrobatics, fire-eating and hoop work and all of it’s pretty much faultless. However, the seven performers feel like a backdrop to the talents of compere Laura Corcoran (a.k.a. Frisky). She banters with the audience, makes jokes, sings a medley of uninspired musical choices (and at times unwise ones such as the choice of trying to cover ‘Wow’ by Kate Bush (who’d even try that?)

There’s nothing wrong with her work. She’s archly funny and generally fun but there’s just too much of her. Way too much. It feels like the cabaret performers get a brief chance to pop on, do a turn and pop off again and then she’s off again. On the rare occasions that there’s an atmosphere building up or the remotest hint of thrill then she quickly re-appears and the mood returns to bawdy comedic chit chat, dashing any hope of anything that feels cohesive or novel.

If you’re a huge fan of Miss Frisky then knock yourself out. This is her night and she’s largely only briefly interrupted in owning the stage. If you’re after something darker and more edgy and with some variety then there’s plenty more cabaret shows on the circuit.

2nd September 2018
CAR REVIEW | Peugeot 308GTi

★★★★★ | Peugeot 308GTi

What Have We Got
Hot hatches use to roam the land, hunting their prey. Then, they just disappeared, killed off by ever increasing insurance premiums. But, thankfully, now they’re back with a vengeance. This is Peugeot’s 308GTi. It’s Peugeot new wild child and has a lot to live up to. Peugeot has a strong hot hatch heritage, often credited with starting the hot hatch genre in the first place. It’s priced from £28,950 but with the few extras, there are (pretty much anything you can think of is standard equipment) ours was more like £31,500.

Driving

The 308 packs 272hp and 330nm torque into a beautifully understated package.
It’s a true dark horse. There’s a close ratio 6 speed, manual gearbox, no flappy paddles or automatic option on the GTi, just a pleasantly analogue driving experience. This thing is wild. In normal mode, it’s just your average, fast, elegant hot hatch. Press the sports button and the 308GTi goes into beast mode. The steering and throttle response sharpens, the engine noise is amplified in the cockpit and the dash glows red. All you need to do then is hang on.

Inside

Once you’ve settled into the supportive, Alcantara and leather bucket seats, the Peugeot won’t take you 20 minutes to change settings and program in your preferences before you can start your journey, just jump in and go. As you would expect from a modern car, there are a host of electronic safety aides to help you and keep you safe. Features include automatic emergency braking, blind spot detection, adaptive cruise control, speed limit recognition, smartbeam LED headlights, reversing camera, city park/ self-park, Lane keep technology, driver attention alert and loads more. It’s very well put together.

Living with it
The 308GTi is really fast. On a damp road, accelerating hard, Peugeot’s wild child struggled for grip, spinning its huge 19” wheels through the first 3 gears, clawing at the tarmac, trying to find grip for the 235/35/19 tyres.

The close ratio, 6 speed, manual gearbox is strong with perfectly spaced gears. Clip the rev limiter, throw in another gear and you’re right on boost, accelerating hard again. I saw 150mph, still accelerating before we ran out of road. Peugeot says 0-62mph in 6 seconds but I’ll eat my hat if it’s not faster than that.

The Verdict

It’s really fast, the handling is another level, the brakes are outrageously good and the interior is sporty and classy. It’s a great package all around. The 308GTi isn’t gaudy or obvious like a Ford Focus RS or Honda Civic type R, it’s a fast hot hatch for grown-ups. What I particularly like was the simplicity of it. Lots of modern cars have adjustable everything and take 20 mins just to set up all the electronics before you start. With the 308GTi you just slide into the leather and Alcantara sports seat and drive.

Love
Performance
Handling
Build quality

Loathe
Fake engine noise through the speakers in sport mode
Stealth looks. Is it too subtle?
Giving It back to Peugeot

Lowdown
Car – Peugeot 308GTi
Price – Starting £29.050. Ours was £31,500.
MPG – 47.1 mpg (combined)
0-62 – 6 seconds
Power – 272hp and 330nm torque
Top Speed – 154.7 mph
Co2 – 139 (g/km)

31st August 2018
How to give a really good handjob

Not every sexual encounter needs to end up in P in A or even a blowjob, behold the simple handjob.

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It’s super quick and easy, and what’s more, you really don’t need any preparation to give each other a handy shandy. What’s more, it’s one of the safest forms of sexual activity.

Technique. What feels good to you, might not feel good to the other person. So listen for signs that it’s all going well. If in doubt ask. You don’t have to be silent during sex.

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Position. You know what, jerking someone else off can be a tiring experience, especially if they take a while to climax. So if you’re lying side by side, make sure the person receiving is on your dominant side, so right-hand side if you’re right-handed, or left-hand side if you’re left-handed. But why not forgo the side by side action and slip in behind them and reach around to their front. This position can be done standing, sitting or kneeling behind the person. To add a little more intensity add a bit of reach around kissing. Hot AF.

Face to Face. To add extra intensity, stand, knee or sit face to face and look into each other’s eyes as you beat the jerky. Having a front view can give you all the telltale signs that someone’s close to orgasm and you get to look at goodies. Win-win really.

Out and about? Half the fun is that the handjob can take place almost anywhere. Now we’re not advocating anything illegal, but maybe a surprise handjob the next time you’re out for a ramble on the moors – might just be the ticket.

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Double-handed. This goes hand in hand with technique really. Placing both hands over someone’s genitals can add double the pleasure and give a different feeling to the fist on helmet action. Plus if the person you’re with has bollocks, then cradle those bad boys, and give ’em a stroke.

Change the routine You know, not every handjob has to be a fist around a cock. Have you tried simple head rubbing? Take your thumb and rub in circular motions on the back of the head of the penis (not on the helmet). It’s a great way of slowing things down and changing the tempo. He’ll be squirming with joy.

Different equipment requires different technique. If your subject hasn’t got a foreskin, or the foreskin happens to go right back when he’s erect, you’ll need to adjust your technique. Spit can make for a makeshift lube if you’re out and about, but it’s probably good to make sure there’s lube nearby.

While we’re on the subject of lube, why not true some warming lube or tingling lube for extra sensations. It’s not for everyone, but worth a punt.

Here’s the rub, you’re probably never going to be as good at giving a handjob as the person receiving does it to themselves, after all, they’ve probably been practising on themselves forever. So give yourself a break – and just enjoy the intimacy the interaction can create.

Have you got tips? Use the comments below to let us know what your favourite technique is.

31st August 2018
What you should do when you fall in love with a guy that just isn’t interested

It’s probably more common than we think, but falling in love with someone who doesn’t seem to love you back is painful.

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We spoke to counsellor Daniel Browne who told us just because things haven’t progressed in the way that you might have hoped doesn’t mean that he’s not necessarily into you.

He told us, “Being into someone who doesn’t reciprocate those feelings can be crushing. However, because things haven’t gone further with this incredible looking, funny guy it doesn’t mean that he’s not into you. Perhaps he likes to take things at a slower pace and get to know someone before he becomes intimate with them.

“Maybe he’s absolutely into you but is not ready to take the next step yet. Of course, it is possible that he doesn’t have the same feelings for you that you have for him.

Is it possible to be friends rather than lovers?

Browne continues, “If that’s the case, then it sounds like you’ve made a great friend and that’s something to treasure. Give this relationship time and see where it goes. If it doesn’t develop into something more than friendship then as upsetting as that may be, you do have that companionship to enjoy. If it does develop into something more intimate, that’s something you can equally enjoy and it will have been worth the wait”.

30th August 2018
What if you’re straight, but feel a desire for gay sex?

Is Sex different from Sexuality?

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When one straight identifying guy on Reddit said that the thought of having sex with another man gave him “butterflies in his stomach” but didn’t he was “gay enough” to do it, people were there to guide him.

Society problems?

So what’s really holding guys back from experimenting with someone of the same sex? This poster wrote that he had an image of him as a “straight guy loving girls” but his feelings go the opposite way – despite not having a specific crush on a guy.

He wrote,

“…I got an image of myself as a straight guy loving girls and my feelings go in the opposite direction. I love masculinity and want to be a submissive guy. I hate being dominant while/and having sex with girls. But I never thought of going in bed with a specific guy, I never had a crush on a guy. This is “not gay enough”.

So is he in love with the idea of being straight, but his heart is telling he’s gay, bi or curious? He wrote that he once tried a blowjob but felt deeply ashamed afterwards.

Society’s push?

This user suggested that society had its role in defining our sexuality and what is right and wrong, saying,

“That’s just society that has shoved that idea in your head.
“I felt guilty AF after I gave my first blowjob to the point where I ran away from my boyfriend (at the time)’s apartment and cried and threw up a bunch.

“You can get over that and become comfortable with yourself. I sure did, and it didn’t take too long.”

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Get stuck in

Another poster was a little more upfront with his suggestion

“suck some dick and see what happens”

What’s “Gay Enough” mean?

Another suggested,

“If you’re a man and you want to have sex with another man, that makes you gay enough. You could be anyone from the most macho muscleman to the most femmy twink, and it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you want to have sex with another man. That’s all it takes to be “gay enough”.

“What’s wrong with you is that you’re holding yourself back from doing something you want to do. What you should do is have sex with another man.

Another chipped in

I’d recommend you just start experimenting. Take it slow, though, and make it clear that you’re new at this.

Bisexual? Pansexual?

This user pointed out that the OP might not be homosexual, but rather someone who is sexually attracted to all sexes and genders,

“Your [sic] probably bi or pan and have inner-homophobia from religion, family, culture, whatever. Go out, or on an app, be honest on those apps and guys, have some condoms and lube handy and have sex with men. Good luck, have fun.

30th August 2018
THEATRE REVIEW | The Comedy About A Bank Robbery, The Birmingham Rep

★★★★★ | The Comedy About A Bank Robbery, The Birmingham Rep

Mischief Theatre did it again! Masters of comedy and experts in dropping jaws, The Comedy About A Bank Robbery was another side-splitting hit.  Set in Summer 1958, Minneapolis City Bank has been entrusted with a priceless diamond. An escaped convict is dead set on pocketing the gem with the help of his sidekick who has a crush on him, his con girlfriend, and her con lover. A recipe for hilarious disaster.  

Liam Jeavons, Sean Carey, and Julia Frith did a sterling job at multi-role playing while showcasing dexterity in movement, voice and perfect comedic timing. Particularly stealing the show was Julia as Caprice whose constant tricking of lovers and the incessant charade playing to get out of sticky situations uplifted the very already funny production. Sean as Sam was a mastermind in roleplaying, switching from characters in a matter of minutes and fast changes of costume while never giving up the ‘act’ doing everything for his love, even spanking her boyfriend while they make love – it’s hard to explain; you have to watch it to see what I mean.  

Ruth was another shining gem, playing the mother of Sam, with an angelic voice and superb acting ability full of foxiness. Her energy was effervescent and though was not a key role, she always enhanced the scenes with her character. A very agile performance was seen by George Hannigan who played Caprice’s three lovers – in one scene, it was just George on stage portraying the three men at the same time, changing between each character with such fluidity that each one was clearly distinct.

All other actors were subliminal too, for instance Damian Lynch who played Bank owner Robin Freeboys had a true command of each scene with intelligent comedic timing. His sidekick Warren Slax played by Jon Trenchard was a formidable entertainer too grabbing the audience by the heartstrings as he was always butt end of a joke or something going wrong.

What was a real marvel was the set design which contained versatile/multipurpose sets mesmerising the audience. One piece was so jaw-dropping, which speaking to my plus one – thought the same, was the scene on the wall, where Jon and Damian were suspended from the ceiling and acted as if they were grounded! This just shows that Mischief Theatre continues to be bold, unique and dangerous! I hope they are writing the next one!

30th August 2018
Gay and bi guys who are lonely are most likely to have bareback sex

Gay, bi and queer men are 67 percent more likely to have unprotected anal sex.

Madeinitaly / Pixabay

A recent study from China has found that lonely gay men are most likely to have condomless sex. Of the 507 men that took part in the study, those “who reported feeling lonely were more likely to have had condomless receptive anal intercourse in the past 6 months.”

The same men also said that they felt “hopeless for the future” and reports of higher levels of internalised homophobia.

The study showed that gay and bi men in China are suffering from high rates of depression and loneliness, of the 507 who took part, 26.8 and 35.5% reported moderate-to-severe symptoms of depression and feeling lonely, respectively. Despite homosexuality not being illegal in China LGBT people are subject to severe societal pressures.

The aim of the study was to help demonstrate that gay/bi and queer men with negative mental health in high-income countries were at risk of HIV infection. “We sought to describe depression and loneliness and identify their correlates among Chinese MSM”.

Without protection, like condoms or access to PrEP, men who have bareback sex are more at risk of contracting HIV than those who use condoms or who are on PrEP and who test regularly.

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Chances of passing on HIV are Zero if you’re on effective treatment

A recent study found that there is ZERO chance of passing on HIV if an infected partner was on effective treatment.

The PARTNER 2 study results found no cases of HIV transmission between men when one partner had HIV but was on effective treatment. This finding offers further confirmation that an undetectable viral load prevents sexual transmission of HIV. This understanding is frequently expressed as Undetectable equals Untransmittable, or U=U.

The 14-country study found no transmissions between gay couples where the HIV-positive partner had a viral load under 200 – even though there were nearly 77,000 acts of condomless sex between them.

China’s LGBT rights

China has a chequered history in LGBT rights – same-sex sexual activity has only been legal since 1997, whilst the country does not recognise gay relationships or marriages. Same-sex couples are not permitted to adopt and there is no legal statute to protect gays from discrimination. However, trans people are legally permitted to change their legal gender.

Homosexuality was removed from the Ministry Of Health’s list of mental illnesses in 2001.

29th August 2018
Changes at gay app Chappy as two co-founders step down

Two of the three co-founders of the Chappy app have stepped down.

Chappy, today announced that two of its three original co-founders, Ollie Locke and Jack Rogers, have decided to leave the company. Its Board of Directors has collectively appointed Sam Dumas to succeed the duo as the Global Head of Brand. Locke and Rogers will step down on 29th August 2018 after 18 months with the company. Max Cheremkhin will remain as an active co-founder working with Dumas to ensure a smooth and seamless transition.

“Leading Chappy has truly been an honour, for both of us. We’re incredibly proud of all that the Chappy team have achieved over the past 18 months to advance the interests of the community while inspiring other technology to be a force for good. Guided by our philosophy of kindness and respect, we launched in new global markets, reinspired trust in dating, whilst also lifting up all the communities we serve. We’ve made a more meaningful impact in people’s lives than we ever dreamed possible. We truly believe Max and Sam will continue to take the company from strength to strength and are excited to follow and support Chappy’s journey from the sidelines. The company will always hold a special place in our hearts, but the time has come for us both to refocus our energy on exciting new projects and we wish everyone involved all the very best for the future.”
Ollie Locke, Jack Rogers, Co-founders, Chappy.

“In Chappy, Jack, Max and Ollie have created something special over the past 18 months, from building our incredible team to taking the app to its first half a million users. It’s an important milestone that presents an opportunity for refocusing our brand and evolving our product, marketing and positioning here in the US. At its heart, Chappy is about helping gay form relationships with other like-minded men looking for something similar. Max and I share a love and respect for the DNA of Chappy and are delighted to have such a strong foundation to build on.”Sam Dumas, Global Head of Brand, Chappy.

29th August 2018
HOTEL REVIEW | VidaMar Resort Madeira

★★★★★ | VidaMar Resort Madeira

Get yourself onto a sun-lounger, because the VidaMar Resort in Madeira is a sun seeker’s dream. This exclusive resort features a large sea platform and direct ocean access, and is surrounded by gardens with tropical plants and palm trees to shade you while you take breakfast on the veranda.

The hotel has a contemporary style with elegant décor throughout and spacious modern rooms with balconies overlooking the ocean and panoramic views over the bay of Funchal.

The Location

VidaMar Resort Hotel is nestled in the heart of Funchal, and is surrounded by several other high end resorts. However, the area doesn’t come across as crowded or touristy. I mean it is touristy, but feels more relaxed and welcoming than anything else.

Located right on the ocean, VidaMar is idyllic for sunbathers, swimmers, or those that want to stroll along the seaside. The Lido Promenade is a walking trail that stretches along the coastline, giving you easy access to restaurants, cafés, and leisure areas such as parks and public swimming pools.

The Room

I don’t know about you, but when I get into a hotel room I like to sprawl. I’m talking clothes on every surface and shoes all over the place. It makes a hotel room feel like home. With a separate lounge area, I could scatter my crap to my heart’s content and still have room to swan around without tripping over my things. The spacious Ocean View Room I was staying in included a king-size bed, sofa, dining table, Plasma TV and free Wi Fi.

Image source: VidaMar Resorts

I love a room with a view, and the VidaMar Resort totally delivered, with full-length French windows opening up to your own private balcony that overlooks the gardens, pool, and that piercing blue ocean. As an early-riser, it was a rare treat to sit out on the balcony with a cup of coffee and watch the sunrise over the ocean.

Image source: VidaMar Resorts

Perfect!

The Gay Scene

Sorry guys, there isn’t really much of a gay scene. However, switch on your Grindr and you’ll find locals and other tourists all within reach. The island is fairly small and the collection of resorts means you’ll find plenty of other travellers just a few scant metres away.

Our Verdict

Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous! The big selling point of the VidaMar has to be its swimming pools and sun lounge area, which, even in the middle of summer, was never crowded. There were always plenty of spots, and NO CHILDREN! Even those that are of the ginger persuasion (myself included) can enjoy a gloriously relaxing escape to the sun here. I can’t wait to go back.

Check out room rates on Booking.com

29th August 2018
When is a cheap helmet not a cheap helmet?

Don’t rule out a cheaper helmet.

A few years ago, after an unexpected off (aren’t they all unexpected?) I needed a new helmet.

Funds were low so so I opted for a Nitro helmet for less than £100. It was a decision I regretted straight away, it was so noisy, uncomfortable and poorly built. I’ve been off bikes for a while so upon my return to two wheels I found myself on the hunt for a new helmet again.

One thing that hadn’t changed was my financial situation so I was looking at a budget helmet again. In the few years I’ve been away from motorcycles, things have changed. A budget helmet used to be a pretty poor relation to the big money race replica lids you see but these days they are so much better.

There are a huge number of budget helmets out there. From as little as £50 you can buy a full face helmet these days and I had no idea how to tell good from bad so I read the reviews and then spoke to the team at GetGeared. They have a big range and talked me through them. It turns out that our heads are all different shapes so some helmets fit some of us better than others. There are lots of helmet retailers out there, don’t be afraid of end of line deals either.

Long story short, I went for a MT Helmets Mugello Vapour in yellow. It’s very yellow which is good, as it might help the half-asleep car drivers see me.

Unboxing was a treat. It’s a world away from my old Nitro. The MT feels plush, well built and feels as if it’s worth a lot more money. It was only £60, reduced from £80 and was purchased online, delivered in a couple of days. It even comes with a helmet bag… behave.

It’s a four-star helmet which means in the Sharpe test (industry standard helmet tests, a bit line NCAP for cars) it did well.

If this is what budget helmets are like, manufacturers at the top end of the market should look out. My new lid fits really well, is comfortable and has useful features like the breath deflector which sits in front of your nose and stops the visor misting up, and the chin curtain, a stretchy band around the bottom of the helmet that stops the wind getting in, really help. It’s got a removable, washable liner and a really useful quick release buckle. Both are welcome features. Trying to undo a sweaty lid with a gloved hand is a pain.

There are loads of features but I won’t bore you. Put simply I’ve done hours and hours in it now and it’s great. I’ve done a race school in a single seat race car, a motorcycle track day and many, many road miles in rain, sun, more sun, so much sun and wind. No complaints at all, it’s proved to be an excellent buy, quiet, comfortable, easy to wear. I can’t believe you can buy a helmet like this for so little money.

Give the team at GetGeared a shout or better still call in and try a few helmets on, they have hundreds.

29th August 2018