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What is cottaging and is it illegal in the UK?

What does cottaging mean?

Cottaging is a slang term for sex between, usually, two men in a public space, typically a public toilet. Before same-sex sexual relationships became legal men, who were bisexual or gay had few options on where to have sexual liaisons so would have sex in discreet places, where they wouldn’t be caught. The term dates back to Victorian times when “cottage” referred to a small house or public house.

In the 20th century, public toilets in the UK sometimes took the look of a small cottage, sometimes with a thatched roof.

The sex between men who would frequent a cottage would usually be anonymous. Gloryholes, a hole drilled between stalls in public toilets became a way in which this sex could remain faceless.

Before the rise of gay bars and before homosexuality was legal in the UK, cottages were a way for gay and bisexual men to meet other men.

There are thousands of gay cruising grounds and cottages across the UK and still remain popular to this day.

Cottaging, the act of having sex in a public toilet, is illegal in the United Kingdom under the Sexual Offences Act 2003, and applies to both heterosexual and homosexual acts.

Is cottaging or gay cruising illegal?

The Sexual Offences Act 2003 doesn’t say however that sex in a public place is illegal. Cruising grounds and cottaging are two different spaces. Cruising grounds are defined as open spaces, where men can hook up with men, or straight couples can meet for sex (often referred to as dogging), as long as no members of the public can see you.

jarmoluk / Pixabay

You risk being arrested if reported by a member of the public. If this happens you have the right to legal advice from an on-duty solicitor at the police station. If convicted you could be sentenced to 6 months in prison and /or a fine.

A caution or conviction will result in a criminal record for a sexual offence which you will have to disclose in any criminal record checks.

Can you expand this definition? Use the comments below and your answer could be used to expand or define this glossary entry.

Check out more definitions in our Big Gay Glossary

30th January 2018
THEATRE REVIEW | Hairspray, Sheffield Theatres

★★★★☆ | Hairspray – Sheffield Theatres

Set in Baltimore in 1962, Tracey Turnblad is a big girl with a big heart, big dreams and even bigger hair. Tracey (with her best friend, Penny, in tow) cuts school one afternoon to audition to be a dancer on The Corny Collins Show, her favourite daytime TV programme. Despite the best efforts of Velma Von Tussel, the show’s producer, Tracey is chosen to be the new dancer; but when Tracey learns that her black friends aren’t allowed to dance with the white kids on the show, she sets out to change things once and for all. But can Tracey unite black and white on TV, win the hand of her heartthrob and fellow dancer, Link Larkin, and walk away with the Miss Teenage Hairspray Pageant crown?

Based on the 1988 John Walters film, this is a colourful and energetic production which ups the camp value and fun factor to create a feel good, crowd-pleasing musical with a strong underlying message about social inequality.

Matt Rixon pleases as Edna Turnblad, and bounces nicely off Norman Pace as Wilbur; whilst Brenda Edwards (X-Factor) belts out the tunes as Motormouth Maybelle and manages to nail her big number with ease. Rebecca Mendoza makes her professional debut as Tracey Turnblad, and despite some unnecessary gurning and an overly squeaky American accent, gives a competent performance, although one which would have showed her talents far better if her direction was reined in slightly, allowing the role to be played with a straight bat. The remaining cast provided for a spectacular ensemble, filling the stage to the brim in the musical numbers, and bringing with them an infectious enthusiasm.

Featuring the songs “You Can’t Stop The Beat”, “Good Morning Baltimore”, “Welcome to the 60s” and “I Know Where I’ve Been”, the numbers come thick and fast, and are catchy, upbeat and instantly likeable. The dance routines are full of energy and ensure that there is always plenty to look on the stage, whilst the lighting and costume designs flood the stage with colour, adding to the pop-bubblegum feel of the piece.

Utterly engaging and utterly enjoyable, Hairspray is a musical treat which is so much fun that you will find it hard resist its charms.

Hairspray is at the Sheffield Lyceum (www.sheffieldtheatres.co.uk) until Saturday 3^rd February 2018 before continuing on an extensive national tour until 4^th August 2018. To book tickets click here.

30th January 2018
Canada ‘serial killer’ linked to five deaths, targeted gay men

A landscaper charged in the deaths of two Toronto gay men is a suspected serial killer, police said Monday, as they linked him to three additional victims and scoured sites around Canada’s largest city for more remains. (more…)

30th January 2018
Here’s what you should know if you’re planning to have anal sex (and have piles)

You can have sex if you have piles… but go carefully.

Suffering from piles when you’re a bottom or even a power bottom could spell disaster for your sex life. The fact is that piles or haemorrhoids are a fact of life for many people.

Piles are caused by swollen veins in the anus. They can be caused by straining when going to the toilet (number two), mainly during constipation, and many people don’t even know they have them – because they can occur inside your rectum – where you can’t see them.

When they come out your bottom, that’s when they can become a bit of a problem.

Does anal cause piles?

But before we go on, let’s clear one thing up, they aren’t caused by having anal sex.

Jose Perez de la Cruz, a Public Health Practitioner at the Terrence Higgins Trust told us, “anal sex has the potential to inflame pre-existing haemorrhoids (piles), though research shows that it does not cause them in the first place. So long as the piles are not actively bleeding or painful at the time of intercourse then it is probably safe to have sex”.

So should you take a break from anal sex if you’ve actively got piles going on? Jose continues, “I would recommend using Preparation H (under a fiver) or Germoloids (over a fiver) to help control pain and inflammation and to reduce swelling. During sex, it is also important that you use a good water-based lubricant, particularly during acts of multiple people or high-frequency sexual activity as this will reduce the chance of any inflammation being caused.”

He also suggests that they are unlikely to burst during sex, but suggests if the piles don’t clear up after a while that you book an appointment with your doctor to talk options.

The advice listed above is not intended to replace or take the place of that of your own doctor, GP or medical professional who knows your full medical history. If in any doubt make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible.

OTHER QUESTIONS: HIV | WILLY WONDERS | HOLES | DOING IT | STIs | LUMPS & BUMPS | BACK TO SEX CLINIC HOME PAGE

Got a problem you’d like advice on? Click here to ask your question

30th January 2018
Some people think that Putin has had cosmetic surgery

Some people are questioning the silky smooth skin of Russia’s number 1.

CREDIT: Wikipedia (Kremlin KU)

Along with the horsey riding, the random topless moments – showing off his bulging biceps and the ice cold water dips it’s clear that the man looks after his body.

Now, the 65-year-old President Vladimir Putin has got people questioning whether he’s had some “work” done on his face.

One user on DataLouge commented on how it looks as though he’s had injectables and fillers in his face. They also questioned whether the premier had a more feminised appearance.

Check out this image to see what they’re talking about – and then there’s this one, which shows some dramatic debagging on the politician’s face.

30th January 2018
THEATRE REVIEW | Mary Stuart, Duke of Yorks Theatre

★★★★★ | Mary Stuart, Duke of York’s Theatre

Two queens fighting to the death. No, not Vauxhall on a Saturday but a fascinating slice of Elizabethan history. Mary Stuart seeks refuge in England only to be imprisoned by her cousin, Queen Elizabeth the 1st, as a potential threat to the English throne. Mary anxiously awaits her fate whilst Elizabeth tortures herself deciding the best course of action. Sounds dry, fusty and irrelevant? Not in the slightest in this bold and modern update on Schiller’s play.

Robert Icke is a director who can breathe extraordinary new life into works. His versions of Hamlet, 1984 and Uncle Vanya (to name a few) have garnered awards and shown his skills. Here, he’s taken the text, staging and costume and made it feel thoroughly modern and relevant. There’s barely a ruff in sight and the dialogue feels like something you might eavesdrop upon in Parliament in 2018.

Two top UK actors take the lead roles, Juliet Stevenson and Lia Williams (currently to be seen in Kiri and The Crown). There’s a gimmick but it’s one with no hint of tackiness. Both actors switch roles depending on the results of a tossed coin at the start of the play. It’s a tense moment for both the actors and the audience as the two face off on stage and await their role allocation.

All in, it’s a riveting three hours. The stripped back set, pared back dialogue and emotional intensity combine with two killer performances to make this a nail-biting experience. It’s a fine example of top acting in a top production that also remains entertaining.

Mary Stuart runs at the Dukes Of York’s Theatre until 31st March 2018

29th January 2018
BIG GAY GLOSSARY | Condom

What is a condom?

A condom (male or female) is an artificial barrier which stops bodily fluids from mixing between one person to another during sexual activity. They remain the best way of stopping the spread of various sexually transmitted infections and diseases.

Condoms can be made out of latex, polyurethane or lambskin.

There are female condoms – which come in two types. One which is inserted into the vagina. They can be put inside up to eight hours before sex.

There is also the dental dam, usually a rectangle piece of latex, which covers the vaginal or anal area and acts as a barrier between someone’s mouth and vagina or anus.

Bru-nO / Pixabay

And then there are male condoms are put on over the top of an erect penis and act as a barrier between a vagina, anus or mouth. Fluids from the penis are collected inside the tip of the condom.

When used correctly condoms can be the most effective means of stopping sexually transmitted infections.

Can you expand this definition? Use the comments below and your answer could be used to expand or define this glossary entry.

Check out more definitions in our Big Gay Glossary

29th January 2018
BIG GAY GLOSSARY | Biphobia

What does biphobia mean?

Biphobia is hatred directed towards the bisexual community. Similar to homophobia or transphobia however the focus of hatred is focused on bisexuality.

Biphobia can be caused by miseducation or not understanding bisexuality. Biphobia can be perpetrated by heterosexual people as well as those from the LGBT+ community.

Biphobia can come in a number of forms including casual biphobia, bi-erasure as well as all-out biphobia.

An example of casual biophobia can include saying “gay” when you actually mean “same-sex” as it contributes to bi-erasure.

Can you expand this definition? Use the comments below and your answer could be used to expand or define this glossary entry.

Check out more definitions in our Big Gay Glossary

29th January 2018
BIG GAY GLOSSARY | Bisexual

What does bisexual mean?

Bisexuality is a sexual orientation in which those who define themselves as such have a sexual attraction to both the female and male sexes, which can be distinct from the social construction of man and woman, which can be included in the bisexual spectrum.

More recently there has been a move to be more inclusive with the coining of bisexual+ or bi+ which can include gender expressions as well as biological sex, which can come close to pansexuality, in which those who identify as such, do not limit their sexual attraction to gender, biological sex or gender expression.

Bisexual people can be cis-gender, transgender and non-binary/genderfluid.

We asked people who identify as bisexual what bisexuality meant to them.

@star_brow:

Being attracted, sexually and/or romantically, to more than one gender.

Giovanni:

A subtle, nuanced freedom that finds joy and promotes openness

As with any definition of sexuality, what bisexuality means to one person who defines as bisexual may be entirely different to someone else’s definition.

Can you expand this definition? Use the comments below and your answer could be used to expand or define this glossary entry.

Check out more definitions in our Big Gay Glossary

29th January 2018
BIG GAY GLOSSARY | Aromantic

What does aromantic mean?

A person who identifies as aromantic doesn’t typically feel romantic feelings towards anyone. However, they may experience sexual feelings.

Aromanticism is different from asexual people, who do not feel sexual attraction but may feel romantic feelings.

Can you expand this definition? Use the comments below and your answer could be used to expand or define this glossary entry.

Check out more definitions in our Big Gay Glossary

29th January 2018
BIG GAY GLOSSARY | Asexual

What does asexual mean?

Asexuality is a term used to describe someone who doesn’t feel sexual attraction or desires. However, an asexual person can feel romantic feelings towards others.

Sometimes referred to as the Ace Community.

Asexuality is distinct from, and shouldn’t be confused with those who are celibate or being abstinent. This group of people may still have a sexual attraction but are choosing not to act on their urges.

We asked people who identified as asexual, what it means to them.

James:

“It’s the lack of sexual attraction. The clear difference between aesthetic and romantic attraction is important. Asexuals don’t lack the capability of love. We just don’t need to press naked bodies against each other to express our love.
“Asexuality is a broad spectrum. Some are sex repulsed, others have sex because they enjoy the feeling. Similar to enjoying good food without being hungry. For others, it’s stress relief. It’s disconnected from one’s libido.”

Lisa:

For me its lack of sexual attraction (Asexual) and also lack of romantic attraction (Aromantic). I do experience attraction in other ways – aesthetic for example and I do like hugs. I’m able to form very deep friendships but feel nothing in a sexual or romantic way.
Broadest definition is the lack of experiencing sexual attraction. But the term was made to be appropriated, owned, developed and discarded according to one’s own needs. There is no one asexual experience or type of asexual person

Marion:

A lack of sexual attraction

Alex:

It’s when Sexuality is not directed to anyone or anything. <- that’s for asexuality, not for the asexual spectrum.

As with any definition of sexuality, what asexuality means to one person who defines as asexual may be entirely different to someone else’s definition.

Can you expand this definition? Use the comments below and your answer could be used to expand or define this glossary entry.

Check out more definitions in our Big Gay Glossary

29th January 2018