THEGAYUK

Tag: Gay Dating Terms

Here are some of the most-used terms used on gay dating apps like Grindr.

  • Gay Dating | What does BS mean on a dating app?

    Gay Dating | What does BS mean on a dating app?

    If you ever see the acronym “BS” on a guy’s profile, it’s probably contained in a sentence like: “Not into BS” or “No BS” and basically it just means “No Bullshit”

    You’d think that being on a hookup or dating app would be simple right? I mean we’ve all downloaded the app for one of a few reasons, right? Surely we’re all on there to search for a date, sex or maybe just friends (Yeah, sure Jan)

    Surely the need for BS – however it manifests just wouldn’t need to be a thing, but it is.

    From Ghosting to Catfishing to picture collectors there are all manner of shitty and bullshit behaviours on dating apps – although it seems that some apps are a breeding ground for shitty behaviour.

    So why not just cut to the chase, cancel the bullshit and say what you want…

    Check out more gay dating terms.

  • Gay Dating | What does BND stand for?

    Gay Dating | What does BND stand for?

    Decoding BND

    Have you ever seen the acronym BND and wondered what it meant, well simply put it means, Boy Next Door. Although the term is not widely used on Grindr, it can be found on Scruff as a way of describing who you are or what you’re looking for.

    What is a Boy Next Door?

    Often the Boy Next Door is categories as the “every boy” meaning that he’s probably cute or average looking, average build, average height. Maybe he coy or shy or an introvert and keeps himself to himself. Think unassuming nice lad, who would lend you a cup of sugar or an egg or two if he had them and you’ve got yourself a BND.

    It’s a catch-all vanilla-ery term and actually isn’t particularly useful – cause Hanibal and Dexter were guys who lived next door to somebody!

    Check out more gay dating terms.

  • Gay Dating | What is a bear?

    Gay Dating | What is a bear?

    Decoding the bear – if you see “Bear” in someone’s dating or Grindr profile, here is what it means.

    Bears are guys who are generally thicker and hairier – a bit like a bear. There’s a whole community and they even have their own flag, which you may see during pride season.

    Bears are generally a subset of the gay community and tend to be older guys, younger bears to be are called cubs.

    The bear community is widely thought to have begun in 1970’s San Francisco, USA. The term bear was popularised by Richard Bulger. Bulger and his partner of the time, Chris Nelson created what was thought to be the first-ever magazine catering to Bears and their admires called Bear Magazine.

    What is the bear flag?

    The flag, which is made of seven stripes ranging from Brown, orange to Black and Grey was designed by Craig Byrnes who created this flag in 1995.

    There is a debate as to how a bear and the community is defined as a whole, while some suggest that bears are the epitome of masculinity and ruggedness and the rejection of effeminacy, there are many who feel that bear culture is very inclusive and rejects the stereotypical views of mainstream gay culture, which historically always vaulted for a more “twinky” or muscly aesthetic.

    Whats the difference between a bear and an otter?

    Otters, who are also a subset of the gay/bi community tend to be slimmer but still hairy.

    Unlike bears, otters do not have a name for younger guys.

    Dating Apps for bears

    As with most communities under the LGBT+ umbrella there are quite a few dating and hook up apps for bears, cubs and their admirers.

    Growlr and Scruff are probably the most famous. THEGAYUK also has a bear chat group, which is free to check out.

    Check out more gay dating terms.

  • Gay Dating | What does BB stand for?

    Barebacking is anal sex without the use of condoms. It has become more and more common on dating and hookups for guys to ask for BB sex, as the availability of anti-HIV medications has risen.

    You may see “Negative on PreP” on a person’s profile to indicate that they are potentially up for condomless sex.

    The rise of BB could also be linked to the rise in bareback porn being filmed by studios.

    After the rise of AIDs and HIV in the gay community during the 80s and 90s condomed sex was advocated by community leaders and health professionals as a way to combat the spread of HIV.

    In recent years, however, with the availability of PrEP for “at-risk” communities, condom use is no longer seen, by some, as entirely necessary, particularly in the fight of ending new HIV infections.

    Previously BB sex was seen as extremely risky, however, due to the invention and availability of PrEP, bareback sex is safer from becoming infected with HIV, however, BB sex can lead to other sexually transmitted diseases, such as chlamydia, gonorrhoea and syphilis.

    Check out more gay dating terms.

    PHOTO FROM SEANCODY. Get your subscription here

  • Gay Dating | What does BDSM stand for?

    Simply put, BDSM is an acronym for Bondage, Discipline, Sadism and Masochism.

    There are many forms of BDSM and they run a spectrum from light power play, like blindfolds and furry handcuffs to rough abuse – including genital abuse like CBT (cock and ball torture).

    Usually, a person takes up a preferred role, dominant or subservient, masochist or sadist, although of course, you’ll get people who like to switch, between the many roles.

    The dom is usually the person doling out the punishment or pain, while the sub is the receiver.

    According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the first known use of BDSM was in 1991.

    So what is Bondage, Discipline, Sadism and Masochism?

    What does BDSM mean?

    Bondage is where the tying up of your partner with roles, cables, cable ties, scarves or actual chains. The idea is to restrict your partner’s movement. Again this could be on the lighter side, with just bounding someone’s hands to a full-body restriction suit, made from rubber.

    Discipline could be corporal punishment like hits and spanks, but it could be verbal discipline as well.

    Sadism is where someone is turned on by cruelty or humiliation inflicted upon another.

    Masochism is the opposite of sadism. It’s where you are turned on by subjected to physical pain or humiliation.

    BDSM in the gay community is not uncommon, with many guys trying out one form or another within relationships or other hookups. Many enjoy power play and enjoy the taking of dom or sub-roles, just as their heterosexual counterparts do.

    Many people associate leather wear like harnesses and hogtie with the likes of homoerotic imagery like Tom of Finland or the activities of the annual Folsom street fair in San Francisco.

    It is important to distinguish between consensual BDSM activities between consenting adults and those who are being abused or coerced against their wills.

    Although BDSM does involve abuse, it is welcomed by the recipient, whereas sexual abuse isn’t.

    Check out more gay dating terms.

  • Gay Dating | What does “cut/uncut” mean?

    Gay Dating | What does “cut/uncut” mean?

    One of the options you’ll find on many dating / hook up apps to help describe yourself to would-be partners is a question about whether you’re cut or uncut.

    Sometimes, “cut” can mean how well defined your muscles are, but in this case, they are talking about your cock.

    Simply put, Cut is for those guys who don’t have a foreskin, whilst Uncut is for guys who still have their foreskins or “intact”.

    How common is being “cut”

    What does uncut mean

    Across Europe and many parts of the world, guys are still intact, whereas in North America up to 75 per cent of guys are circumcised – usually for no medical reasons.

    However, some men have to have circumcisions due to a foreskin that doesn’t roll back, which can make erections and intercourse quite painful. It can also affect how well you are able to clean the head of his penis.

    Of course, some religious people are circumcised such as Jewish and Muslim males.

    There is a growing call for non-medical circumcision in young boys and men to be treated in the same way as Female Genital Mutilation.

    In a recent poll conducted by THEGAYUK.com over 70 per cent of people, who voted, said that non-medical circumcision should be made illegal.

    Currently, in the UK, the practice of religious or cultural FGM is illegal, while the religious or cultural circumcision for males is still sanctioned by the Government. It is thought that less than 20 per cent of males are circumcised in the UK.

    Check out more gay dating terms.

  • Gay Dating | What does “bottom” or btm mean?

    Gay Dating | What does “bottom” or btm mean?

    Well, it could mean a variety of things to a variety of people, but generally, the “bottom” is the guy who is the receptive partner in anal sex. Although it could be a label for someone who is more sub within sex.

    So the guy who’s underneath (or on top if you’re doing the cowboy) is known as the “bottom”. The giver is known as the “Top”. Not everybody likes the terms “top” or “bottom” for some being a bottom is seen as less than, more subservient or more effeminate, but some, like Big Brother US star Ragan Fox, have empowered the word and meaning by calling themselves, “power bottoms”.

    What is a bottom or a btm?

    Otherwise, you could go with giver and givee, catcher and pitcher or just their names… (no labels!)

    Apparently, there’s quite a bit of stigma attached to being a bottom. A survey found sixty per cent of readers thought that there was or weren’t sure if there was a stigma attached to bottoming or being the receiving partner during penetrative sex.

    Only 40 per cent said no there wasn’t a stigma.

    Check out more gay dating terms.

  • Gay Dating | What does ASL stand for?

    Gay Dating | What does ASL stand for?

    If you’re in your twenties then you might not remember a time when we used to have to use a dialup modem to get onto the internet, use the house phone line, and the only way to really get photos online was to scan actual photos – yep, printed pieces of paper, which used to always scan upside down for some reason.

    It was a ball ache and took ages – and that’s if the website you were using accepted photos. So most people didn’t bother.

    Therefore it was very common to start a chat conversation, with a random person, with the acronym “ASL”, which simply means Age, Sex Location. A super-quick way to discover if the person you were talking to was your vibe.

    Thanks to smartphones and gay dating apps, like Grindr location and sex are pretty much taken care of, however, you might still need to ask his age, if that kind of thing is important to you.

    ASL can also stand for American Sign Language, so it could also mean that, particularly if you’re in the US, that the person you’re messaging can sign.

    Check out more gay dating terms.

  • Gay Dating | What does age play mean?

    Gay Dating | What does age play mean?

    Age play is all about guys who like to age up or age down – outside of their biological ages. This isn’t about daddies or twinks. It’s all to do with creating a fantasy where a couple (or more) roleplay another age group altogether.

    That means that certain guys might be into wearing diapers and nappies and being changed.

    What does age play mean

    Others might be into older age play, which means they’re likely to want to get kinky with equipment most commonly used with older people, like Zimmer frames and commodes.

    Check out more gay dating terms.

  • What does 420 mean on dating apps?

    What does 420 mean on dating apps?

    If you come across a guy’s profile and it says he’s into 420, it means that he’s into getting high with cannabis (weed, pot, grass). This is quite popular amongst some gay and bi men as it relaxes and heightens sensitivity throughout the whole experience. It can reduce stress, which is also great for those who have anxiety-related erectile dysfunction.

    However, you have to pick the right weed if you’re planning to have sex. Sativa products, those products which are made from the Cannabis sativa plant are considered better by some because they can help lift your mood, heighten your sensitivity and intensify orgasm, however, some people have suggested that it can make your mind wander. Some users suggest Indica for “mind-blowing” sex.

    What does 420 mean?

    Some cannabis strains or more powerful drugs like skunk will leave you too relaxed to get much done, or you may find it impossible to concentrate, climax or perform.

    As with most drugs, cannabis and the various strains will affect different people in different ways.

    7raysmarketing / Pixabay

    Advice from TalkToFrank suggests, “…only take cannabis when you’re feeling happy and relaxed, in a safe environment, and with people you’re comfortable with”.

    And again with the lube

    (C) BIGSTOCK

    Don’t forget to use lots of lube and if you’re looking for a way to relax during sex and don’t quite fancy the idea of smoking weed or taking an edible, why not try CDB lube. CBD is legal in the UK and could be a great way to relax.

    Remember, depending on how you take cannabis, the effects can take a while to subside. Effects can last from 10 minutes to an hour if you smoke weed. Ingesting cannabis through an edible could take between two and four hours, according to TalkToFrank.

    Don’t forget as with any sex and drug-taking to use lube and if you’re not sure about your partner’s sexual health status, use condoms. To stop the passing on HIV you might want to use PrEP as well.

    Cannabis is still illegal in the UK and is classified as a Class B drug – which means it is illegal to have for yourself, give away or sell.

    If you’re wanting to talk to someone about addiction or have an issue with your or your partner’s drug usage you can reach out to TalkToFrank for more information.

    Check out more gay dating terms.