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With the winter nights drawing in and the cold wind blowing outside, we’ve got some tips to keep your Christmas sex hot, whether you’re in hook up mode or in a long-term relationship.

Apparently, we Brits have more sex at Christmas time than at any other time of the year. Sex brand LELO conducted research which showed that all that time off (apparently people have time off during the holidays) 23 per cent of us are more encouraged to get jiggy between the sheets.

So what can you do to really ramp up your sex life.

Do something for you

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Whether it’s buying yourself some new sexy undies, like a jockstrap, losing a bit of weight, or taking up a yoga class – doing something for you can make you feel very sexy and ready to play.


Why not get naughty with a game. There are a number of sexy board games available – whether it’s for just the two of you or more. It could be a really interesting way to get your party swinging. Also if the imagination is low or you find it hard to ask for what you want, then try the sex dice! You and your partner will end up doing every position – every which way the whole night! Every throw is a winner.

A gift

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Rachael McCoy is an award-winning sex and relationship coach suggests taking it in turns to surprise the other person with a gift or experience that they really enjoy. Although Christmas is a bit of gift-giving time, while not surprise your partner before the big day…. A great tip on how to do this is to listen when your partner says things they like. Make a note in your phone and when they are least expecting it, spring it on them. They’ll be so grateful that you remembered.

Turn off

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Have at least one night a month where you promise to turn all tech and outside distractions off and just spend time together. In this modern day we all have tablets, phones and other forms of gadgets that distract us away from quality time together.

Be Thankful


In long term relationships it’s easy to forget to say the little things like ‘Thank you’ ‘I love this about you’ or ‘I’m so grateful for’. This mainly happens because we’ve said it so many times before and we just expect the other person to know. But it is imperative that you always remember to tell your husband/ wife these things regularly. It will make all the difference to your marriage and help ensure that it’s a long and happy one.


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There’s a reason why De-Stress sounds like distress. You’ve got to take time to take some of the stress out of your life. There’s nothing like a bit of stress to become a complete boner killer.

Erotic massage

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Massage or even tantric massage is a great treat that never gets old. When you know your bf has been having a stressful time, greet them one day after work with some massage oil, a candle lit (warm) room and work your magic to massage their stress away. Check out our tip on how to make your man melt with your magic touch.

Get the food just right

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Getting food right is so important. Don’t go out for a big meal and then expect to feel all sexy at the end of the night. Chances are you’ll feel bloated and very very sleepy.

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Also if you’re bottoming – having a full meal might lead to anxiety about having anal sex. So choose lighter meals – and stay clear from these foods.

However, some of the best advice we’ve ever heard was from Dan Savage – who always suggest that you “fuck first” then go out and have a slap up meal.

Get a red light bulb

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Rachael suggests swapping your normal bulb with a red bulb saying, “It completely changes the look and atmosphere in the room, instantly making it feel very seductive and naughty”.

Going out with friends


While hanging out with may not seem romantic at the time but socialising and ‘representing’ as a couple with friends is a really fun thing to do. In other people’s presence we tend to be more playful. It will give you lots of things to talk about and it’s something you can both enjoy together.

A quicky blowjob when he’s not expecting it

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A quick blow job is probably always a welcome distraction for your partner. Catch them when they are nice and clean but not expecting your sexy treat. Make the effort to spend a decent amount of time working their ‘goodies’ with your lips and tongue.

Alone time

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It may seem the opposite of romantic but actually it’s a very healthy thing to do in marriages (and relationships in general). As much as you love each other, living in each other’s pockets can become suffocating and predictable.

Doing hobbies separately creates desire and interest into the other person, giving you both some great conversation too.

About the author: Agony Uncle
The resident Agony Uncle for with over seven years of counselling experience with the LGBT+ community.