THEGAYUK

Category: Dilemmas

  • DILEMMA | My penis isn’t very big, can I make it bigger?

    DILEMMA | My penis isn’t very big, can I make it bigger?

    How can I make my penis bigger

    A reader asks what are the options for making his penis bigger

    Dear AG,

    I wondered if it was possible to make my dick bigger, I’ve seen lots of advertisement for pills and various techniques and wondered if any of them actually worked?

    Steve

    Dear Steve,

    For hundreds of years if not millennia, guys have been worried about the size of their manhoods, but there’s so much misinformation out there, that it’s actually hard to know what the truth about penis and size actually is.

    In reality penises or is it peni? Are much smaller than we’re led to believe, especially if we go by porn as a benchmark. Porn can offer an unrealistic view of what dicks should look like.

    In reality, they come (no pun) in all shapes, sizes and indeed colours. First of you should know that here in Britain the average size of an erect penis is… 5.5 inches – which is apparently also the average global average of an erect penis.

    So you might actually be well within the average or bigger than you actually think.

    So now, down to your question can you make it bigger?

    Well yes, there are ways to make it bigger – however, only one is medically proven to actually increase the size of your manhood.

    Surgery. You can get your penis lengthened with surgery, however, the cost, which can go up to around £7000 might be a bit prohibitive. The length and girth you’ll actually achieve with this method will be around a 1 to an inch and half for length and girth

    Jelqing. This apparent, ancient practice of basically pulling and massaging (not masturbating) your semi-erect penis for what can amount to hours can, and has, an ex has assured me worked – but it’s time-consuming and it’s not been clinically proven.

    Pumps. There are numerous vacuum pumps which can in the short term grow the size of your penis. However the side effects are not permanent – and you’ll have to wear a cock ring once you’ve finished pumping to keep the blood inside the penis.

    Hanging weights off it. If you’re in for the long haul then hanging weights from your dangly bits may (I’m stressing MAY) make your penis longer, although it could take months if not years of persistence. However, I’d have to advise caution as you could cause long term damage to yourself.

    Really easy ways to make your cock look bigger!

    (C) BIGSTOCK

    Changing the surroundings. Did you know by a careful trim of the pubic area can actually make your dong look bigger. The less hair around the base will give you an extra half inch…

    Losing weight can also help. Some guys, as they put on weight can put it on in their pubic area – also known as the FUPA (Fat Upper Pubic Area).

    There’s an old adage that for every stone you lose you gain an inch down there – well technically that could be true – depending on the size of your FUPA. It could be actually hiding the first inch or two of your penis.

    Whatever you do, don’t believe the hype that any pill can increase the size of your penis.

    Have you got a dilemma? Ask our Agony Uncle any questions you might have

  • DILEMMA | I’m staying at my inlaws this Christmas, how can we make sure we leave no cummy trace

    DILEMMA | I’m staying at my inlaws this Christmas, how can we make sure we leave no cummy trace

    A reader asks how he can still have sexy time with his man but make sure that they leave no trace for the inlaws to find.

    DEAR UNC

    This Christmas my partner and I are staying at his parents, of course, because we’re randy f**kers I want to make sure we can still have sex, even if it is just a fumble between the sheets. What can we do to make sure that the inlaws don’t find our cummy rags or tissues?

    Gavin, Totteridge

    Dear Gavin,

    Have you ever heard of the Rich Man’s Wank? I implore you to employ the RMW technique this Christmas. It’s very simple.

    When you have your fumble under the sheets, instead of cumming over yourself (which you then have to wipe down – leaving crusty evidence for the inlaws to find) use a condom.

    Yes, sometimes it escapes us, but the humble condom has more than the two normal uses (sexually transmitted disease protection – and blow up balloons at prides), yes you can use it as a semen collector – which, let’s face it, is what its main function actually is.

    When you’re done, tie a knot at the opening – come the morning, simply pocket that Jonny, complete with all your little swimmers and flush it (you’re not supposed to do that) so you can bin it in a wrap of tissues.

    Ta Da and Merry Jizzmas!

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  • DILEMMA | My butt hole has a green tinge

    DILEMMA | My butt hole has a green tinge

    A reader asks what he should do about his butt, which has turned a shade of green

    DEAR TGUK,

    The skin around my butt hole has gone green. What should I do?

    Simon

    Dear Simon,

    Book an appointment with your GP or get yourself to your closest walk-in clinic. As soon as possible. Don’t delay.

    Don’t be embarrassed, shy or ashamed. Your doctor will be happy to help you.

    Good luck

    Have you got a dilemma? Click here to write to us and get your question featured on THEGAYUK.

  • DILEMMA | My date snogged the guy at the next table

    DILEMMA | My date snogged the guy at the next table

    Dear Unc,

    I recently went on a date with this gorgeous guy I met on Grindr. We decided to meet up and went to a gay bar in town.

    Things, I thought were going really well. There was definitely chemistry between us, but when I came back from the loos, I found him snogging the guy at the next table along.

    I made my excuses soon after and left.

    Later on that evening he texted to see what was up and why I left in such a hurry.

    He’s just so good looking and friendly and our WhatsApp chats are so good. I just don’t know if I should give him a second chance.

    What should I do?

    Tom

    Tom,

    Delete his number from your phone and move on. There are so many other available guys out there for you to meet so I wouldn’t get so hung on this one, particularly as it seems he wasn’t so hung up on you.

    Is there really any point in trying to salvage something that wasn’t really there in the first place?

    What you had was a digital relationship which didn’t translate in the real world.

    This happens, so don’t beat yourself up about that. It’s not your fault.

    They say everything is about first impressions – that’s not just the first 10 seconds of your date, but the entire first date. The guy snogged someone else. What kind of impression does that give you about him?

    Don’t beat yourself up and don’t spend another minute thinking about him. Mr Right is out there.

    If you’ve got a dilemma you’d like us to answer, click here

  • DILEMMA | I’ve just found out that I’ve got genital warts, what should I do?

    DILEMMA | I’ve just found out that I’ve got genital warts, what should I do?

    A reader discovers that he’s got genital warts and want to know if he can treat them himself, Dr Nitin Shori answers the question.

    I have genital warts... Can I get rid of them with a cream?

    Dear TGUK

    I just found that I have genital warts and don’t want to get them frozen off, which I heard is the way to get rid of them.

    Can I get a cream buy one or get one without the doctor having to look?

    Liam

    Hello Liam

    Genital warts are very common in England – second only among sexually transmitted infections (STIs) after chlamydia.

    They often appear as small fleshy growths or lumps in the genital or anal areas and are caused by a viral skin infection related to the human papillomavirus (HPV).

    While they can look unsightly and can sometimes bleed, they don’t usually cause any real threat to your health.

    However, they are a reminder of the need to take adequate precautions against STIs, many of which have very serious health consequences.

    As well as being passed on during sexual intercourse, genital warts can also be spread via skin-to-skin contact.

    It’s important to understand that a condom won’t always protect you and that it is possible for HPV to be transferred from apparently healthy skin.

    As you know, genital warts can be frozen off the skin using a technique called cryotherapy. Medical professionals can also use laser treatments, surgery or trichloroacetic acid (TCA) to remove genital warts.

    You’d prefer not to have to see a doctor to have your genital warts removed and you’ll be pleased to learn that prescription liquids and creams could be available for you to use at home if you have been previously diagnosed with genital warts by a doctor.

    Following an online consultation, the Pharmacy2U Online Doctor Service could prescribe you with one of a number of creams and liquids used to remove genital warts.

    Some work by stimulating the body’s immune system against HPV, while others have a directly toxic effect on the wart itself.

    Whatever you choose to do, it’s important to get yourself checked for other STIs if you think there’s a risk that you might have been infected.

    Have you got a dilemma you’d like to ask? Click here to get your question answered.

  • DILEMMA | My boyfriend ejaculates inside of me, will I contract HIV?

    DILEMMA | My boyfriend ejaculates inside of me, will I contract HIV?

    (C) BIGSTOCK

    A reader asks whether allowing his boyfriend to cum inside him, without a condom will open him up to HIV infection.

    Dear TGUK,

    Me and my boyfriend both got tested and are HIV negative, we’ve been having unprotected sex and he always ejaculates inside me. I’m just wondering if you can contract HIV if yous are both negative and he ejaculates inside me?

    John, 19

    Dear John,

    On face value and from what you’ve described, I’d say that the risk of you getting infected with HIV is very very low because, as you’ve pointed out, you’ve both tested negative for HIV.

    Providing neither of you opens your relationship to another person (and don’t use condoms), use infected needles for drug-taking or receive an infected blood transfusion (which is incredibly unlikely), you will both remain HIV negative.

    Regular Testing

    Being regularly tested for STIs will also mean you get a clearer picture of your sexual health – so if you’re sexually active it’s good to get tested a few times a year.

    edf

    However, if you’re still concerned about HIV, you can also speak to your local sexual health clinic about going on the IMPACT Prep trial and seeing whether you’re an ideal candidate to take part.

    It’s free on the NHS and will give you an extra layer of security as it is an HIV blocker.

    As always, make sure you communicate with your partner about your concerns – if you’re not 100 per cent happy with him cumming inside you – talk about it.

    It’s your body and you are in charge of what goes in!

    Have you got a dilemma for our agony uncle? Click here to submit your question.

  • DILEMMA | Can I use lotion for lube?

    DILEMMA | Can I use lotion for lube?

    A reader asks whether it’s safe to use lotion instead of lubricant during sex.

    Dear TGUK,

    Can I have sex with lotion as lube?

    J


    Using the right lube is key to having comfortable and enjoyable sex. (C) BIGSTOCK

    Dear J

    There are many liquids you can use as lube, but lubes designed for sex are the best lubes to use.

    While lotion might feel good your penis, it might actually have chemicals in it that will irritate the inside of your arse – which will lead to painful sex or even a burning sensation.

    When it comes to sex, the wetter the better. Always use lube when having anal sex. It will make it more comfortable and better protect you against tears and pain. Madeinitaly / Pixabay

    Also, a word of warning, particularly if you’re using condoms during anal sex, you should really only use water-based or silicone-based lotions. Lotions and lubes that are oil-based could actually destroy a condom, leaving you unprotected from sexually transmitted infections.

    Do yourself a favour and buy a lube which is longlasting and feels good for your ass and dick!

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  • DILEMMA | Why do I feel so sad after sex?

    DILEMMA | Why do I feel so sad after sex?

    Dear Uncle

    “Why do I feel so sad/empty after sex?”

    Alex

    Dear Alex

    Firstly thank you for reaching out and I’m sorry to hear that you experience sadness and emptiness after sex.

    Firstly, don’t fret, many people experience all sorts of emotions after having sex – sadness and emptiness can be felt by many. Sex is a highly emotional and intimate activity – that sometimes, we as men can forget to check in with how we’re feeling about the sex we’re having.

    You don’t go into detail about the type of sex you’re having or if you’re having it with multiple people or just one person, so I’ll try and be broad with my answer.

    There’s a couple of questions I’d like you to think about – and perhaps that can help you get into a happier place when it comes to the sex you’re having.

    Why do I feel sad after sex?

    SEX SADNESS: Is the sex you’re currently having the sex you actually want?

    To explore this further – are you able to advocate fully what it is you want from your sexual partner(s) and are you getting that?

    Sex can be complex – there are many factors to take into consideration and everybody who’s taking part needs to be on the same page – to get to this place you need to have a conversation about what it is you want, what they want and whether you’re both compatible. Conversations about sex needn’t be complicated or awkward. Be upfront and honest.

    If you feel you’re unable to communicate properly then you may be having the sex you don’t want – which could be leading to the feelings you’re having.

    CREDIT: Yastremska-bigstock

    What kind of sexual encounters are you looking for?

    And are you getting those? For instance, if you’re looking for a deeper connection but you’re only having one night stands this may be causing you to feel empty. It can be very difficult to get emotionally intimate with someone you’re hooking up with for a one night stand, although we do have some tips here.

    Do you actually want sex?

    Sometimes we can feel pressured into doing things we don’t want, and it can be difficult to say “no” particularly in the highly sexualised world that we all live in.

    We’re bombarded with images and articles about the sex we should be having and how often we should be having it. Step back and ask yourself – is this what I really want? It’s absolutely okay to not want sex or have actually have sex – especially if it makes you sad.

    Check-in with yourself and see how you’re doing.

    Anyway, I hope this helps somewhat, write back to me if you want to explain a little further about your feelings.

    If you have a dilemma you’d like answered click here


  • DILEMMA | My boyfriend has a penis that curves downwards

    DILEMMA | My boyfriend has a penis that curves downwards

    This week, a reader asks what positions are best for bottoming when your partner’s penis has a downward curve to it.

    DEAR TGUK,

    Hi, my boyfriend has a major downward curve in his penis, like a banana. He’s had it forever. It’s also big 6-7” long and a 6-7 girth.

    I’m crazy about him but it’s difficult to bottom.

    We can only really get it in when we doggy with my ass up, or laying on my back if he picked up my waist.

    When On my back I can’t really feel anything.

    Can you recommend some positions that are suitable?

    Many guys have curved penises, although typically the curve is upwards or to the side, a downward curve is still, however, completely normal.

    However, you will need to try out different positions to make penetrative sex work for both of you.

    The reason why you say you’re not feeling anything when you’re on your back is that your prostate, the gland that makes bottoming irresistible to some, is on the inner side of your rectum wall. If your partner’s dick is straight or curves upwards, the standard missionary position means that the shape naturally rubs up against the prostate which is packed full of nerve endings. If your boyfriend’s dick is probing the other way, in this position he’ll be missing all the feel-good points.

    CREDIT: ©-blueringmedia-Depositphotos

    This means if you reverse positions they may actually feel better for you.

    Many guys find there’s a certain amount of flexibility when it comes to their erections, however, it’s important not to force the erect penis into any position which is uncomfortable, because you can actually snap an erect penis!

    Reverse cowboy

    With you sitting and straddling his lap, but facing away from his face, so your torso is pointing towards his feet. Your feet can go behind you or in front, whichever is more comfortable,

    This position can work with him lying on the bed or sitting in a chair.

    Reverse low cowboy

    The top lies on his back, the bottom straddles on top with his head and torso pointing towards his partner’s feet. His ass points towards his partner’s head, with hips pointing slightly down. This way will give your top an amazing view of his dick entering you. Bonus!

    Reverse Doggy

    You are in the normal doggy position, with your butt in the air, but your top enters from above, crouching above you, with his feet either side of your hips, facing back. He then dips his dick in your ass.

    Reverse sleeper

    The bottom lies on his front and the top lies on top of him but with his feet near the bottom’s head.

    So face to face positions might work as long as you can tip your hips in a way that will help his penis make contact with your g-spot.

    The great thing is that you have all the time in the world to experiment and take time to find out what feels great for the both of you. Have fun together.

    Have you got a dilemma you need help with? Click here to get in touch.

  • DILEMMA | My great boyfriend has a micropenis, what can I do?

    DILEMMA | My great boyfriend has a micropenis, what can I do?

    Dear Dilemmas

    I have an incredible boyfriend, we’ve been dating for about six months.

    We had a long dating period – where we didn’t have sex but decided to go on a series of dates to get to know each other.

    It’s been great to do this because we’ve created a really strong emotional bond. However, After about 2 months we decided to have sex.

    Problem is he has a micropenis. It’s very small. It’s not a total loss – he’s great at sex in general, he gives good head and takes time with everything else. Anal sex though is just out of the question. He really isn’t big enough to get inside me… and that’s a problem.

    I’m a versatile guy and I don’t want to have a relationship where I’m going to be the top forever. As I said he’s the perfect guy. I don’t want to break it up, but can you make it work if the body parts don’t add up to what you need in the bedroom?

    Thomas

    Dear Thomas

    It’s wonderful that you’ve found the perfect guy where you have a strong emotional bond and you took the time to know the guy before having sex – and it sounds as though you realise that dicks, no matter their size only make up a part of what makes the man – but they can be an important part, so let’s see what your options are.

    As you’re six months in you have a couple of options open to you. You could break it off if his size really is a deal-breaker, but are you prepared to let go of the “perfect guy” for this reason alone? Breaking it off because of his size will be a saving grace for both of you. He deserves someone that sees past what you see as a flaw. Remember one man’s small penis is another’s delight.

    However, there are some ideas you can try out.

    It is likely that your boyfriend is totally aware of his penis size and you guilting him about it is a surefire way to turn this relationship toxic. So why not have an open discussion with him about what you want. If you want to be topped but have found it impossible to do this with your boyfriend don’t talk in problems talk in solutions.

    Toys

    Discuss the idea of introducing toys to the bedroom – where he can top you with a dildo. With a dildo, you can go as big as you want. Both he and you can have fun working your way up to sizes you never dreamed of – and you can do the same to him. It takes the pressure off both of you and size doesn’t matter.

    Positions

    You didn’t mention what positions you tried for anal sex. There are some positions where you can achieve penetration, even if he has a small penis. One of which is you on your back, your pelvis raised, with your legs behind your head (or as near as you can get). If you want doggie, simply pull your cheeks apart so that there’s no butt cushion and your hole exposed.

    Sleeves And Extenders

    There are also penis extenders and sleeves which increase the girth and length of the wearer’s penis. See what he feels about wearing one. He may actually want to top you, but his inability to do so could be frustrating the hell out of him too. These sleeves allow heat and feel to transfer right through them, so it’ll feel like he’s actually inside you.

    Threeways

    Have you thought about opening your relationship to having a threeway / fourway? It’s not for everyone and both people in a relationship have to be on board, but it might be an avenue worth exploring. Just make sure you talk about boundaries and expectations before you get a third or fourth involved.

    Reading back over your message there’s a lot of hope in your relationship. You are clearly loving this guy and everything that he brings to the relationship, so celebrate those parts and find solutions for the bits that don’t work so well – and as you said he also gives really good head.

    Have you got a dilemma? Click here to get some advice.

  • DILEMMA | I’m scared that I’ll fart during anal sex

    Dear TGUK,

    I’m worried about farts during sex. I’m still a butt virgin, meaning I’ve not had anal sex yet as a bottom, but I’m worried that I might fart, which seems like it’s the most embarrassing thing that can happen during sex. What can I do to stop the farts.”

    Simon

    Notts.

    Dear Simon,

    You can’t stop the farts. But the likelihood of you doing one during the middle of anal sex isn’t that high, particularly if you stay away from these foods before having anal sex.

    However, with the dick acting as a plunger into your ass, air will creep in and at some point that air has to come out. It’s just all part of the butt sex thing and the best thing to do is either laugh it off or just ignore it. Your top will most likely be totally engrossed with what he’s doing that he won’t notice and if he’s totally grossed out by your bottom rasp then maybe he needs to reconsider his sex role.

    how can i stop farts during anal sex

    So stop worrying, as worrying will only cause you to tense up and being tense (down there) during sex is not a good thing. Don’t compare your sex life to that of what you see in porn, where tops are able to stick their dicks in straight away, they always have hard cocks and bottoms can take a pounding for what seems like hours on end and never fart. Sex in real life can be messy, can take lots of time and can be very funny. So relax. If you need tips on how to be clean during anal sex try out these suggestions if you want to know about what type of lube for anal is the best click here.

    Just make sure you’re ready, use lots of lube and have fun.

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