Category: In The Know

Are there gay cruising grounds in London?

Whether you love or loathe the idea of anonymous outdoor gay sex, it’s hard to escape the fact that gay cruising grounds are all around us.

You probably don’t even know, but from where you’re sitting or standing right now there’s probably a cruising or dogging ground just metres away from you in London, and they’re a hangover from more homophobic times in the UK.

Gay cruising is not a new phenomenon. It dates back to when sex between men was illegal in the UK. Finding a place where two men could be intimate with each other without too many questions being raised was tricky until it was realised that men’s public toilets were a perfect place.

These were named cottages because they actually used to look like quaint little cottages.

The act of finding sex in these public conveniences became known as “cottaging“.

The sex between men who would frequent a cottage would usually be anonymous. Gloryholes, a hole drilled between stalls in public toilets became a way in which this sex could remain faceless.

To this day there are loads of cottages and cruising grounds in Central, North London, East London, South London and West London. One of the most famous of these is Hampstead Heath.

Cottaging and cruising etiquette

Generally speaking, not a lot of talking goes on when cruising. A series of looks and gestures would let others know what you were up to. At urinals, guys would stand, playing with themselves subtly to let others know that they were up for some play. Then if the feeling is mutual the pair could make their way to a cubicle for more privacy.

At cruising grounds, much of the same would happen, except the action took place away from public footpaths.

Is Cottaging Illegal in the UK?

Cottaging is illegal in the United Kingdom under the Sexual Offences Act 2003 and applies to both heterosexual and homosexual acts.

The Sexual Offences Act 2003 doesn’t say however that sex in a public place is illegal. Cruising grounds and cottaging are two different spaces. Cruising grounds are defined as open spaces, where men can hook up with men, or straight couples can meet for sex (often referred to as dogging), as long as no members of the public can see you.

You risk being arrested if reported by a member of the public. If this happens you have the right to legal advice from an on-duty solicitor at the police station. If convicted you could be sentenced to 6 months in prison and /or a fine.

Check out our safety tips for hooking up and meeting with new guys.

16th July 2019
What’s it really like to go for a sexual health screening

So, if you’re someone who has sex, it’s important to go get tested.

For some people, there’s a lot of anxiety about going to get tested at a sexual health clinic, but I’m here to let you know, sexual health services in the UK have come along in the last decade or some. So regardless of any the horror stories, you might have heard, here’s what actually happened the last time I went to get tested – which was last week.

If you’re worried that medical implements are going to be stuck down your dick or up your ass or concerned that a bevvy of doctors will be taking a prolonged look at your squishy bits – you need to read on.

I’ve recently moved to a new area and thought about checking up on the sexual health services area, after a quick look online, I found my local sexual health clinic and was able to book my appointment online.

When entering the building, I was able to log in via a screen in the reception. Once booked in, I waited, perhaps 5 minutes before my name was read out – and I followed my nurse, Lesley, into a private office – where she checked my details, asked me a few basic sexual questions – like when was the last time I had sex – oral, anal and any other sexual activities which I had concerns about.

She asks what brought me to get tested today and I tell her that I want to be tested for HIV as well as other sexual health screenings.

I also ask her about getting the HPV vaccine – which she says is not a problem – she also suggests getting the Hepatitis vaccination. Which I agreed to.

After that, we walk across the hallway to a treatment room – in which there was a urinal, a sink, a bed and a trolley of medical supplies.

She asked me whether I wanted an oral and anal swab. ‘In for a penny’, I think and agree to both. She hands me a cotton wool bud in a long-thin plastic container and another small plastic container.

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She leaves the room and allows me to, in private, pee in the cup and take my own anal swab, it’s really simple and you insert the bud about an inch or two inside you.

I put the top back on the pee jar and the swab back into its plastic container.

Next, after a few minutes, she reenters the room and takes the oral / throat swab, which again is another cotton wool bud. She says “it might make you gag…” I think, “not likely”. It doesn’t.

She then takes a vial of blood, which is painless and takes seconds.

She then collects the pee, the swabs and disappears from the room.

Moments later reappears with the vaccinations, I’ve asked for. Hep A and B and the HPV.

I have two injections in my right arm and the other in my left. All in all, I’m in the room for less than 15 minutes.

There was no examination of my body, although I’m guessing if I went in with specific issues she would have taken a look.

There was no sticking anything down my pee hole and no fingers up my butt.

My swabs were all done by myself. Self-service!

A week later a ping on my phone lets me know all my tests are clear.

So please, don’t fret about going to a sexual health clinic. It really isn’t invasive and remember knowledge is power. Your health status isn’t something you should shy away from – and the best thing, in the UK, testing and my vaccinations were free thanks to the NHS.

3rd July 2019
TOPS AND BOTTOMS and… But what do you call a guy who isn’t into penetration?

Not into topping. Not into bottoming? What are those guys called?

(C) BIGSTOCK

There’s a relatively new term for guys who don’t like having anal sex. Yep, guys who aren’t into topping or bottoming. Some are identifying themselves as “sides”.

Although the term itself is not getting the love it might deserve. As the LGBT+ community expands and adds more identities shouldn’t Sides be getting the recognition they warrant?

There’s a lot of emphases on anal sex in the gay, bi and curious community. Editor of THEGAYUK.com, Jake Hook says, “We are in a world where we’re expected to make instant proclamations on what we’re into. There’s a lot of pressure to define yourself as one or the other and the assumption that sex has to end up with penetration. Where does that assumption come from?

“First on the list is gay porn. All scenes tend to end up in anal sex. It’s become the standard.

“Secondly, the apps we used often ask us to pigeonhole ourselves into tribes including whether we’re tops, bottoms or vers.

“Thirdly, penetration is the world’s goto sex act – and it’s pretty heteronormative. In media we constantly see people going at it. One moment they are kissing the next he’s whipping off his trousers and she’s hitching her skirt. Straight to the penetration, without too much discussion about the other types of sex you can have.”

So who or what is a side?

(C) BIGSTOCK

It’s a guy who’s not into anal sex of any type instead he’ll be into kissing, hugging, oral and other types of sexual activity. Also, guys who cannot have anal sex might be considered a side. For instance, those who have had prostate surgery may not be able to have penetrative sex. It doesn’t mean that sex stops. It changes as prostate cancer campaigner Martin Wells told us.

So what are the other types of sex you can have without penetration?

There’s a whole world of sex that doesn’t end up with P in A action. Mutual masturbation, cock2cock frot, frottage, scissoring, oral, rimming, digital penetration, tantric, toy play, role play. Take your pick. All of those can end up with one or both of you climaxing, without the need to put a dick in an ass.

Where does the term “side” come from?

It appears that the term “side” was coined by Joe Kort Ph D in an article written for Huffington Post. Unfortunately, the author doesn’t explain the reason behind the word.

Defining Sideism he said, “Sides prefer to kiss, hug and engage in oral sex, rimming, mutual masturbation and rubbing up and down on each other, to name just a few of the sexual activities they enjoy. These men enjoy practically every sexual practice aside from anal penetration of any kind. They may have tried it, and even performed it for some time, before they became aware that for them, it was simply not erotic and wasn’t getting any more so”.

30th June 2019
Is there a nudist beach in Lisbon?

If you’re looking to go to a nudist beach in Lisbon, Praia 19 is where you need to head to.

Praia 19 – Just north of the village of Caparica, Praia is a stunning stretch of beach where Lisbon’s gay community tends to go and strip off.

Yes, that’s right, it’s a nude beach, set amongst the backdrop of beautiful dunes and woodland with LOADS of convenient spots for cruising.

There’s a mixed crowd of locals and visitors from all over Europe (and the world) so you’ll have your pick of “friends” to make.

Getting to Praia 19 – It’s a bit of a schlepp, and while there are public transport links, the best way is to either hire a car and drive or just go on a beach tour. You can book onto a tour on for around €29 per person which includes round-trip transportation between central Lisbon and Beach 19, an English-speaking guide, a Gay Lisbon map and guide and even a beach towel to use during the day… which they hopefully wash THOROUGHLY!

28th May 2019
Can you catch an STI from a French kiss?

So, you’ve reached second base! Lucky you. You’ve reached that much anticipated first kiss with that hottie from across the bar. You are thinking this is a good, SAFE start to intimacy and it’s certainly not as bad as having oral sex or sexual intercourse with essentially a stranger, right? I hate to break it to you but, while it is very rare, it is possible to contract an STI simply from kissing.

(C) BIGSTOCK

Fortunately, Dr Preethi Daniel from London Doctors Clinic is here to break down everything you need to know about oral STIs.

What are oral STIs?

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Oral STIs are most commonly shared through oral sex, and unprotected stimulation of the genitals or anus using the tongue or lips. This is because coming into contact with bodily fluids carries a significant risk of spreading STIs. However, a recent study, published in the British Journal of Medicine Sexually Transmitted Diseases, has found that kissing and specifically ‘deep kissing’ could also be to blame for the spread of STIs. The most common STIs which could be spread in this way include herpes, gonorrhoea, hepatitis B, syphilis, chlamydia, other hepatitis, warts and even HIV can be transmitted by kissing.

How to spot the symptoms?

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While it is not very common to contract an STI from a kiss, your likelihood increases if you have cuts or sores in and around your mouth. Symptoms can vary from person to person and what the condition is. If you experience itching, rashes or sores in/around your mouth, this will require medical attention, similarly, a vague sore throat after contact with multiple partners could also be indicative of an STI. Here are the most common oral STIs and their symptoms:

Chlamydia:

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Many people will not experience any symptoms of oral chlamydia, however for those that do they may experience painless sores, lesions that are similar to cold sores, tonsillitis or redness with white spots. A less conspicuous symptom is a scratchy, dry throat.

Gonorrhoea:

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Much like with Chlamydia, many people who have oral gonorrhoea do not exhibit any symptoms, however if they are present you may experience a sore throat, a fever, redness or swollen lymph nodes in the neck

Syphilis:

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The symptoms of syphilis occur in stages which become progressively worse as they progress. The initial symptoms include painless sores or raised lesions which may appear grey or white.

Herpes:

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The most common symptoms of oral herpes are cold sores which may occur on the lips, gums, tongue, inside of the cheeks, throat and roof of the mouth. These may also extend to the chin or neck. Some people may also experience swollen and bleeding gums or swollen lymph nodes.

Warts:

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These will exhibit as warts or lesions in the mouth; however, they have little to no other symptoms and are generally painless.

HIV:

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HIV does not usually have symptoms in the early stages. Rarely, those with HIV in the mouth may experience a dry mouth, tooth decay, gum disease, cold sores or oral warts.

How can you get diagnosed?

If you experience any of the above symptoms you should visit your GP. Many clinics offer same day throat swabs which can check for the signs of gonorrhoea and chlamydia. Any sores or lesions will need closer inspection and discussion with your GP, risk factors and symptoms must be assessed before testing is conducted. As with anything the sooner you are tested the easier it is to treat, so visit your GP as soon as you notice any unusual or uncomfortable symptoms.

What are the treatment options?

Treatment options depend on what STI has been contracted. Some infections, such as chlamydia, gonorrhoea and syphilis can be treated effectively with antibiotics. Viruses, such as herpes cannot be cured but the symptoms can be easily managed with medication. If you have developed warts, they will need to be treated with cryotherapy to completely eradicate the warts. Hepatitis and HIV have no cures and will require specialist management which your doctor will need to advise upon.

Dr Preethi Daniel is the Clinical Director at the, private GP, London Doctors Clinic

16th May 2019
Can condoms protect from every sexually transmitted disease?

How successful are condoms at protecting against sexually transmitted infections?

Bru-nO / Pixabay

Can condoms protect you from every sexually transmitted disease? A reader asks the experts at one of the UK’s busiest sexual health clinics, 56 Dean Street.

Dear TGUK

Everyone says that If you want safer sex, you have to use a condom. But can it prevent all diseases?
Best Jimmie

kerryank / Pixabay

Dear Jimmie

Having safer sex means having sex which has less risk of catching or passing on an STI.

Using a condom is the best way to do this, however, it doesn’t completely prevent you from catching an STI. Lots of things can affect how likely you are to catch an STI such as a condom slipping or breaking during sex and contact during foreplay such as rubbing, masturbating each other and oral sex. A few things that can help are ensuring a condom is used from start to finish during penetration, using latex condom friendly lubricant (such as water or silicone based) and regular screening for STIs.

Do not use Vaseline or oil-based lubricants. You can walk in for an HIV test and Hepatitis B vaccines any time at 56 Dean Street and can make an appointment for a full screen. However, if you are under the age of 20 you can walk into the clinic at any time for a full screen. There is also a dedicated service for young people which runs Monday, Wednesday and Friday evening, details of this can be found on the website.

Even if you do everything right accidents can happen so it’s good to know about PEP, this is a course of medication you may be able to take if you have been at high risk of HIV. You can also walk into the clinic to discuss PEP with a member of staff.

Have you got a dilemma you’d like our team of specialist to help you with? Click here.

16th May 2019
Are there any gay saunas in Swansea?

Are there any gay saunas in Swansea and where you can meet guys for hook ups?

© ugarin Depositphotos

Are there any gay saunas in Swansea?

With Pride happening in Swansea soon, we look to see if there are any gay saunas or hook up clubs in the Welsh city of Swansea.

Unfortunately it doesn’t seem as though there are any gay saunas in Swansea. The nearest is the Eagle 50 which is located some 41 miles away in Cardiff or the Greenhouse Gay sauna in Newport which is 50 miles away from Swansea.

So if you’re looking for a hook up you could join a gay chat app like Grindr, Scruff or Growlr or why not join THEGAYUK’s free Swansea meet group.

Do you know of any good places to meet guys? Leave a comment in the comment sections below.

30th April 2019
What is bottoming?

If you’ve ever talked about gay sex or been on a gay hook up app the likelihood of you hearing the term bottoming is going to be quite high, but what exactly is bottoming and who does it?

What or who is a Bottom in terms of gay sex?

Firstly, bottoming is all about anal sex. That is penetrative sex that happens with the ass usually penis or sex toy into the bumhole.

The term bottom could mean a variety of things to different of people, but generally, the “bottom” is the partner who is the receptive partner in anal sex. Although it could be a label for someone who is more sub within sex.

So the guy who’s underneath (or on top if you’re doing the cowboy) is known as the “bottom”. The giver is known as the “Top”. Not everybody likes the terms “top” or “bottom” for some, being a bottom is seen as less than, more subservient or more effeminate, but some people, like Big Brother US star Ragan Fox, have empowered the word and meaning by calling themselves, “power bottoms”.

More recently, when Nurse Jackie star, Haaz Sleiman came out as gay he totally owned the bottom thing saying, “Not only am I a bottom, but I’m also a total bottom, which means I like it up you-know-where.”

Otherwise, you could go with giver and givee, catcher and pitcher, postman or postbox or, you know, just their names… (no labels!)

Is there a stigma to being a bottom?

(C) BIGSTOCK

Apparently, there’s quite a bit of stigma attached to being a bottom. A survey found sixty per cent of readers thought that there was or weren’t sure if there was a stigma attached to bottoming or being the receiving partner during penetrative sex. Only 40 per cent said no there wasn’t a stigma.

So what is the label for someone who doesn’t like anal sex at all? Click here to find out.

12th April 2019
Where to find escorts in Birmingham

If you’re after the services of an escort or rent boy in Birmingham – you might find these services useful

(C) BIGSTOCK / DEPOSITPHOTOS

VivaStreet

UEscort

Sleepyboy

UKAdultZone

Interested in knowing about the life of an escort? We asked the late Adam Dacre everything you wanted to know about being an escort, but where afraid to ask.

13th February 2019
Netflix: Does Brent Corrigan still do porn, how old is he today?

Brent Corrigan is the subject of the film King Cobra, which is now streaming on Netflix.

The biopic, which is now available to stream on Netflix, follows the life and times of Brent Corrigan (who was played by Garrett Clayton) and his rise within the gay porn industry along with the plotting and eventual murder of his studio’s boss, Bryan Kocis. However, when the film was originally released, Brent himself refused to support the film – even going as far as denouncing it on social media, for taking liberties with his life story and for showing the gay porn industry, which Brent is a big supporter of, in a very bad light.

The film directed by Justin Kelly is based on the successful book Cobra Killer written by Andrew E Stoner and Peter A Conway. It centres on the 2007 murder of gay porn producer Bryan Kocis (played in the film by Christian Slater) by two aspiring producers (James Franco as Joe and Keegan Allen as Harlow) who wanted to buy out Corrigan’s performing contract.

So is Brent Corrigan still appearing in porn?

Brent Corrigan has worked for many of the major gay porn studios, including Falcon.

Yes, Brent is still working in the adult industry and was even booked to make an appearance at the Str8UpGayPorn Awards in October 2018. The star has performed for the Naked Sword studio and Falcon Studios. His very first film was produced and released by Cobra Video.

How old is Brent Corrigan?

Well, the star was born in October 1986, which makes him 33/34 in 2020.

Does Brent still work for Cobra Video?

Although the star is still promoted by Cobra Video the last movie shot by Brent for Cobra was in 2006 with a further film, Beautiful Boy being released in 2011.

Both the book and DVD are available to buy

12th February 2019
Are blowjobs with flavoured condoms safe?

Condoms are a great way to enjoy safer sex – but are flavoured condoms any less safe?

Flavoured condoms have been around for decades, in fact ever since johnnies started to be made from latex, manufacturers started to get inventive. Most major condom manufacturers now create flavoured ones and some are getting creative with flavours – last year we were introduced to the gin and tonic flavoured condom. But you’re more likely to come across more simplistic fruit-based flavours. Skins condoms, for instance, have a multipack that has mint, bubblegum, banana and strawberry.

Condoms still remain one of the safest ways to protect yourself from sexually transmitted infections – which you can still get from oral sex – which is why flavoured condoms are a thing. Have you ever tried tasting a non-flavoured one? Take it from me, it’s disgusting and tastes very chemical.

BJs are low-risk, but not risk-free

Sexual health specialists, Jake Jenkins from the 56 Dean Street sexual health clinic told us, “Oral sex is considered a low-risk activity for catching HIV, especially if you’re on the receiving end of the BJ.

“However it’s not just HIV that you have to consider here. Other nasties like Chlamydia and Gonorrhoea can be passed on by both receiver and giver, and might not even show symptoms, however, all these infections can be treated effectively if caught soon enough”.

Do condoms protect from herpes?

Bru-nO / Pixabay

You can also catch or give herpes from unprotected oral, so make sure you wrap that penis up.

There are two main types of herpes, HSV1 and HSV2. HSV stands for Herpes Simplex Virus. HSV1 tends to affect the mouth. HSV2 tends to affect the anus or vagina, both, however, are transmitted by direct touch contact.

So yes, you can get herpes (on your genitals) from someone who has a cold sore.

Putting a protective barrier over the penis will provide protection.

What to look out for

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Even so, you want to make sure that the condoms you use are in date and carry the British and European safety standard marks. The CE and Kite marks demonstrate that the condoms are safe to use, it is authorised by the British Standards Institution it also means it meets the requirements of the Medical Device Directive.

Make sure they are also in date and that the packaging looks intact and untampered with. Each pack should have a best before date.

Do not use Vaseline or oil-based lubricants with condoms. Only use water-based lubes or silicone lube

9th February 2019