6) Spellcheck.

Dear god, does a little spell check hort? If you can’t get the little details right what on earth are you going to be like at the other stuff?

7) Are we dating you or her?

We don’t care if you and your bessie had a crazy night in Blackpool. Take a picture with just you. After all, we’re not going on a date with her as well – and if we are, we might need to reevaluate this whole thing.

8) Torso To Be Or Torso Not To Be.

If you can’t show your face but you can show your torso/cock/butt then we have to consider your priorities. If you’re looking for love then show your face, your eyes and your smile.

9) Hi-di-Hi!

Grindr hi hi hi
Come on, be original. First words count so don’t waste them with a “hi” or “hey”. Try adding some vocab, you know, like words. Not sure what to write? Try something like, “hi, nice profile pic – where was it taken?” Or, “Hey, I like your T-shirt, where did you get it from?” – get the conversation flowing with open questions, those questions that lead to a conversation, questions that can’t be answered with a “yes” or a simple “no”.

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10 ) Don’t Fall In Love After Two Days Of Messages.

We’ve all done it, fallen hard for someone we’ve only just met two days ago online but have both shared a sunset, sunrise and Lorraine on ITV. Spending hours on hours getting to know someone online is okay, but the magic happens in the real world. As Cher said, it’ll be in his kiss – not his keyboard.

11) Top To Bottom.

Spell it out; you’ve got to make sure you’re compatible with your sexual preferences. If you’re a top – say so, if you’re a power bottom 2.0 then say so. Nothing worse than spending lots of time chatting to someone only to find that you both point north – of course, if you’re both not into penetration then this is cool – but the likelihood is that sex and sexual roles will play a massive part in any future relationship.

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12) Don’t Over Share.

Be careful what info you put on your dating profiles and what you tell people before you really get to know them. Personal data, such as a home address, bank sort codes and your mother’s maiden name aren’t things you should be sharing with anyone. An online date is just like your bank, they should never ask for your password.

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