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  • Am I a sex addict? I have slept with over 700 guys

    Am I a sex addict? I have slept with over 700 guys

    A reader confided with us that he’s slept with hundreds of men – and wonders whether if that’s normal or whether he is a sex addict. Experts from 56 Dean Street take the question

    Dear 56DS and TGUK

    I’m in my mid 20s and I’m a bit of sex lover. I’ve probably been with over 700 guys in the last 2 years, which makes my friends laugh, but I think I’m a bit addicted to it.

    Some of the sex has been whilst drunk or on drugs (never needles) and I can’t be certain that it’s always been protected sex.

    I am around 80% the top in these shags. So I’ve been told that the likelihood is that I’m fine, but just wondering.

    I’ve had a few STDs and had those cleared up but I’m feeling a little bit worried as I always do this time of year with WorldAIDS Day coming up…

    I have been to the clinic, but not this year.

    Hi there;
    Thanks for your question.

    Being top may be less risky than being the bottom, but there is still a risk, and guys who only top still get HIV. This is because of HIV can also be found in mucosal secretions inside someone’s bum. Using condoms will protect you against HIV and most STIs regardless of how many partners you have. However, it’s possible that condoms break, or you can get STIs including HIV through oral sex, although getting HIV through oral sex is rare.

    Some people say that taking drugs including alcohol makes them more relaxed and more likely to take risks. Sometimes when people get caught in the moment they may feel invincible and forget to do the things they normally would to protect their health. It’s really important that you keep control by using condoms and getting yourself checked regularly for sexually transmitted infections. This should be for all STIs not just HIV.

    Taking PrEP can help stop new transmission of HIV, particularly useless if the user is having condomless sex. When use as prescribed it can be an effective barrier to the transmission of HIV. However it does not stop other STIs.

    It might also be worth considering going onto PrEP. If you’ve not heard about PrEP, essentially it’s a anti-HIV drug, which when taken as prescribed can effectively prevent HIV spreading from partner to partner. PrEP stands for (Pre-Exposure Prophylactic. Campaigners believe PrEP can ultimately end new HIV transmissions. To find out more about it and see if you’re able to access PrEP make an appointment with your location sexual health clinic.

    If you do have HIV finding out can save your life (if you have had it for many years) or add years to your life. HIV is now a manageable health condition and life expectancy may be almost the same if diagnosed early and you start treatment at the right time. It’s better to know as you can take control of your own health and protect your partners.

    It sounds like you may want to visit our CODE clinic, a walk-in service. The team are super friendly, non-judgemental and there to help you. They can advise you on drug taking, help you to reduce or stop and explain more about risks of STIs. Also, they know a lot about the harder sex scene, if that happens to be your thing.

    In terms of the number of partners, it’s really important that you are having a healthy, enjoyable sex life which is not harmful to your mental or physical health.

    If you’re worried that you may have sex addiction then help is available. There is an online screening tool at www.sexhelp.com which is free. It will give you a score and explain what that means. There are also lots of resources on the www.sexaddictionhelp.co.uk and www.recoverynation.com websites. We provide support at 56 Dean Street and if you visited the clinic with an appointment with a health advisor we could refer you to this service.

    Hope that helps;

    Jenna and Jake.

    This article was first published in 2012 and now includes extra information about PrEP.

  • Texas rules that employee’s insurance does not need to cover PrEP, because, of course, Religion

    The judge ruled that providing the anti-HIV drugs via the healthcare system was unlawful after siding with Conservative lawyers who challenged the measure on religious grounds.

    The legal challenge was mounted in 2020 by eight Texan individuals and two Texan businesses. It was argued that the free PrEP requirement, as well as free coverage requirements for contraceptives and the human papillomavirus (HPV) vaccine, requires business owners to pay for services that “encourage homosexual behavior, prostitution, sexual promiscuity and intravenous drug use” despite their religious beliefs.

    Perry N. Halkitis, Dean of the Rutgers School of Public Health, slammed the Texas ruling that the U.S. Affordable Care Act’s requirement that private insurance plans cover HIV pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) at no cost to patients as unconstitutional as “egregious lack of separation between church and state.”

    Speaking about the ruling, Dr Halkitis said,

    “The use of antivirals in the form of pre-exposure prophylaxis, which has been approved since 2012, has been a game changer in our fight against HIV and AIDS as the application of PrEP allows individuals to have one more tool to prevent them from acquiring HIV. The result has been dramatic decreases in the HIV infection rate in the United States.

    By decreasing the incidence of HIV, the number of people who require lifelong treatment also goes down, which puts less of a burden on our society economically and in terms of the health of populations. The ruling by U.S. District Judge Reed O’Connor is extremely shortsighted. It is reminiscent of decisions in the 1990s to prevent the distribution of condoms in schools.

    Without covering PrEP, highly at-risk populations — mostly gay and bisexual men and Black women — will continue to become infected with HIV, perpetuating this ongoing epidemic in our society. The decision of the judge is ultimately one that will spread further disease and cause harm to the people of Texas. In the end, this will lead to an increase in the number of infections in people living with HIV in Texas and across the United States, creating a larger number of individuals who require lifelong treatment and creating burdens on their lives and creating burdens on our economy.

    This misinformed or misguided decision based solely on the individual’s religious beliefs is another example of the egregious lack of separation between church and state which is undermining the health of all of us.”

  • Is Sam Ryder Gay, Bi, Straight, married?

    Sam Ryder shot to fame and won the hearts of millions when he entered (and almost won) the gayest competition on the planet – Eurovision…

    Warner Music New Zealand, CC BY 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0, via Wikimedia Commons

    So what do we know about the singer Sam Ryder and his love life.

    Is Sam Ryder Gay?

    Obviously in this day and age, Sam’s sexuality shouldn’t and doesn’t really matter, but sometimes a boy just wants to know if his favourite singer bats for the same team – representation matters you know!

    Well, Sam isn’t gay or bi that we know of.

    Apparently he’s got a long term girl, called  Lois Gaskin-Barber. Interestingly the used to own a juice bar cafe together. From 2017 to 2019, they operated the Lone Wolves Organic juice bar in Coggeshall in Essex. Lois now sells her own jewellery on her Instagram page Lone Wolves Creative.

    So how old is Sam Ryder?

    The Eurovision star was born on December 15, 1989, so his current age is 33 Years – and in case you were wondering Sam stands 5ft 10inches tall, which is 1.78m.

    Is Sam signed to a label?

    Yes, thanks to his legion of over 13million fans on TikTok – he caught the attention of mega label Parlophone (the original home to The Beatles) and inked a deal with them in 2021. His debut single, Space Man! reached number two in the UK charts after his performance on Eurovision. He is due to release a full album at the end of 2022, in October, just in time for that all lucrative Christmas market.

    His second single, “Somebody”, scheduled for release on 19 August.

  • Kink Fetish Inspired Spiritual Life Coaching

    Primarily my sessions are online based via WhatsApp text, like as we are communicating now

    If we both feel the sessions are going well I then can proceed to arrange a face to face meeting to carry out any role plays we discuss in the online sessions

    My sessions are £45 per hour online and it’s not unusual for the chats to sometimes continue for literally hours as it can get very juicy and exciting at times

    For which reason I must clarify from the outset that my service is not vanilla and perhaps even the only person in the UK providing such a service

    And it’s doesn’t suit the majority of seekers becaue they are looking for only short term gratification and that too only physical and very raw

    My sessions however are more psychological and designed to help you better understand your own self based on spiritual values we can together explore your feminine side and thoughts of bdsm submissions in a space both respectful and private

    So if its what you seek and you are serious to make these fantasies a reality then we can discuss some details if needed

    Offering my company for pleasure at a time of your convenience – I can’t host but happy travelling to you at your home or other location.

    I’m a slim guy, very young looking and Smooth, well spoken and educated. Pakistani heritage but born and bread close to Manchester.

    I also offer talk therapy at the same rates for guys who are lonely or/depressed to help you see a positive perspective of your life.

    I’m available for deep thinking guys for confidential shoulder to cry on or just be yourself for an hour or two, without the fear of being judged.

    If you like to dress up or of you have any other kink/fetish that you’ve thought often about but never been brave enough to try, then this your chance to tick the box in a confidential manner with a great partner to share your experience with.

    I’m looking for regular guys who want to build a friendship and benefit from my companionship whilst at the same time helping me.

  • Daisy Nook Carpark

    A good cruising spot along the higher path leading away from the car park.

  • 96 Festival

    96 Festival

    A glittering celebration of queerness and theatre under one roof, 96 Festival is back for a 7th year!

    96 Festival is back by popular demand! A glittering line-up of artists will set up camp at Omnibus Theatre for a spectacular celebration of queerness and theatre.

    A no holds barred extravaganza of theatre, comedy, cabaret, music, art and activism; now in its 7th year, 96 Festival has been conceived in remembrance and celebration of the iconic Pride party on Clapham a Common in 1996.

    Discover this year’s jam-packed festival programme HERE!

  • AABBAADD RELAX HEALTH MOBILE MASSAGE

    On site and mobile massage.  Western style full body or targeted as preferred.  Using Dutch Physicians strokes, techniques, sequencing updated with contemporary research.  Light / moderate / intense / deep tissue pressure choices.  New male graduate creating tingling exquisite sensations.  LGBTiAQ welcome. Appointments, cash on arrival at my premises, invoice NDIS self managed, Osko pre-pay for mobile.  AU$160-200 + ( current fuel prices ). Coastal border New South Wales / Queensland Australia including Byron Bay, Brunswick Heads, Ocean Shores, Cabarita Beach, Hastings Point, Pottsville, Casuarina, Kingscliff, Chinderah, Murwillumbah, Tweed Heads, Coolangatta, Tallebudgera Mudgeeraba, Nerang and nearby locations.  8a.m. to 8p.m. / other times by negotiation.  No-obligation enquiries welcome, busy, leave message, answered asap.  0468478337    rainbowguymassage@protonmail.com

  • Queer Lit

    Here at Queer Lit, inclusion and diversity drive everything we do.

    We, like many members of the LGBTQ+ community, found it difficult to discover literature that best reflected our ethos and queer experiences. We founded Queer Lit to tackle this problem – to better represent the LGBTQ+ community in Manchester – especially those who love books!

    Since then, with your support, we’ve grown exponentially – from stocking just 700 titles online, to now having over 2000 titles in our bricks and mortar store in the city’s Northern Quarter, which we were able to open in August 2021.

    It’s important to us that LGBTQ+ stories are heard far beyond the four walls of our store – and we’re starting right back in schools. Thanks to our amazing customers, we donate around 100 LGBTQ+ books each month to schools across the UK, as part of our programme, ‘Free Books for Schools’. To date, we have donated over 1000, including 250 copies of What’s the T? by Juno Dawson.

  • New Steine Hotel

    New Steine Hotel is one of the most popular boutique hotels in Brighton, providing a haven from the hustle and bustle of the cosmopolitan city, while our staff are always on hand to ensure your needs are met. Our handy location, with views of the sea and New Steine Square, makes us equally popular for leisure breaks and business conferences.

     

  • DILEMMA | Shall I make a move on my straight work mate?

    This week a reader asks what he should do about a straight mate who keeps coming on to him. We asked our community of writers what they thought.

    CREDIT: © gstockstudio
    CREDIT: © gstockstudio

    Dear TGUK

    My straight work mate keeps coming on to me… We’ve been hanging around lots and lots and he’s actually pretty cool with me being gay and is often flirty. He was one of the first people I came out to at work. We’ve worked together for over 5 years.

    At first it was all in good jest and his flirting just made me laugh, but now it’s starting to actually turn me on and is making me question whether he’s gay or bi? 

     We’ve been spending more and more time together and we’re planning a lads’ weekend away, which we’ve done before – nothing happened, but I’m wondering whether I should make a move – or ask him whether he actually likes me. He has a girlfriend and she’s a good friend too.

     I’m worried if I make a come on and goes wrong it’ll ruin our friendship…

    What do you think?

    S, Johnson, Wiltshire

    Jordan Lohan, Hove

    This could go hideously wrong. As attractive and hot an idea it is to get with the straight / not so straight boy, you have your friendship and his girlfriend’s heart hovering above the shitter. Enjoy the fact that he is comfortable enough with you, and his own sexuality to be flirty. Making a move or potentially having sex will complicate EVERYTHING, think of the atmosphere at work- you don’t need that- so don’t mess this up, buttercup. If your feelings are starting to go a little deeper than just fantasising, then you’re going have to suss out if you can actually manage a friendship with him without anyone getting hurt. I would suggest you perhaps opt out of this particular weekend away while you figure stuff out.

    Stuart Bird, Surrey

    Dear Confused

    You have answered your own question over his sexuality. You’ve been away before and nothing happened. It could be that he is just very comfortable with himself to be as comfortable with who you are. These men do exist. By coming onto him you push the boundaries of your friendship to another level. If he isn’t gay or bi then you risk a lot more than losing a friend. Work will be disrupted; your friendship will also be lost with the girlfriend.

    Tell him you fancy him. Compliments are easier to wiggle out of than coming on. I was going to say go for the easy option and not go on the lads’ weekend and start pulling yourself away. Be prepared for a possible change in your relationship if you do confess. He may become guarded around you and the flirtations stop but it will put your mind at ease as to where you stand. However if he values you for who you are he will take it as a compliment, flirt more and make your life a comfortable hell of fun.

    What makes this even harder though is that he won’t be the only straight man in the world you’ll fall in love with. One day you will cheat on your pretend boyfriend.

    ALSO READ: Dilemmas | I’m Afraid I’ll Be Left Alone

    Paul Nicholls-Whiteman, Brighton

    I have by a simple few words in life. These have stood me in great stead and I found it useful.

    If you don’t ask you don’t get.

    Apply this to your ‘could he be bi and coming onto me’.

    You also say he has a girlfriend and that they are your friends so if you just assume his sexuality you could lose big time.

    By being upfront and honest with him you’ll still keep your friendship in tact.

    The advice above has been given by our community of writers who have drawn from experiences in their own lives and is should not be considered as professional advice.

    Have you got a dilemma you’d like our writers and experts to answer? We won’t share your details with anyone outside THEGAYUK.

     Have you got a dilemma you’d like us to answer? Click here to visit our dilemmas page.

  • The Naked Rugby Player calendar is apparently going ahead again for 2023

    The Naked Rugby Player calendar is apparently going ahead again for 2023

    Those burly rugger boys will be back again for another calendar – and we’re so here for that!

    According to a tweet from The Naked Rugby Players, photoshoots are being arranged as we speak and they’re teaming up with cancer charity Balls To Cancer once again.

    Very excited… we’re getting all our shoots booked in for the 2023 calendar! Who’s ready for more!!!

    Organisers have remained tight lighted about which teams will be featured, but we’ve been told to expect more from a Scottish Team and more from the reigning champions, the Northampton Outlaws, who have apparently appeared in every calendar since The Naked Rugby Players’ calendar launched back in 2018.

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