The US election has been startling and gripping to watch in equal measure. There’s no doubt that the Trump presidency has been truly divisive and many minorities including, POC and LGBT+ folks have been poorly treated by his administration.
The 2020 Presidential election turn out has been huge and the fallout from the result will sure to be grim for some places in the US.
But we’ve done some research on in which States Donald Trump and the Republican party got the most votes and because of that party’s policies towards women’s rights, LGBT+ folk and well and the out and out racism that Trump’s administration has fueled in America in last four years, you might want to stay clear of these States, which voted Trump in large numbers.
For reference, if a state voted in the majority for the Republicans, but didn’t pass 54% (such as Texas, Florida and Iowa) we excluded them from this list.
Now, this is not to say that people who live in these states are themselves racist, homophobic or misogynistic… we’d never make that claim, but WTF Wyoming… 70 per cent?
Now for balance, is Joe Biden pro-gay?
Is Biden the knight in shining armour that people are hoping?
Joe Biden didn’t always support LGBT+ rights. In fact, his stance on same-sex marriage in 2012, was a turn-a-round moment for him. after he voted against it in 2006. In 2004 he voted to cut off federal funds to schools that taught the acceptance of homosexuality.
However, if words and his recent actions are to be believed, then Biden’s evolution could see him become the most pro-equality President the US has ever seen. He’s seemingly an equal opportunist, having place Kamala Harris has his Vice President running mate.
For many, double penetration is the stuff of fantasy. Simply put Double Penetration, in a gay sex context is the insertion of two penises into one guy’s hole. It usually requires at least three of you, but it can be done with just the two of you if you have a dildo (or even one of you, yes there are double penetration dildos).
What you need to know is DP takes time and patience, so if you’re really up for trying double penetration, here’s how to go about it.
Before we start it’s probably fair to say, that there will be some guys, who just won’t be able to do it, from a bottoming point of view and if you feel too much pain, or it just doesn’t feel right then stop and tell your tops, to cool their jets. You don’t want to come out of this with a trip to A&E or create yourself long-lasting issues with your butthole.
If you’re a top and you want to find out the bit that involves you, click here… if you’re the bottom then read on…
[totalpoll id=”125207″]
The warm-up, warm-up
The warm-up starts long before your tops arrive. It all starts with the douche and getting yourself ready down there.
I’d always recommend a shower douche if you’re going for DP, or extended arse play. Usually, a normal bulb douche would be fine for anal sex, but you want to be sure. Want to know more about douching click here.
Make sure the water is luke-warm and that the pressure from your shower is low. Take your time with the experience.
Once you’re ready and cleaned out, start prepping your hole with lube and maybe a dildo or prostate massager. I start with a numbing lube.
A lube launcher is a perfect way to get the lube deep inside you, or you can coat the top of your dildo with lube and work it in your body.
What you want to do is get your ass all lube up and warmed up ready for the main event.
The warm up
This is where you start to introduce other guys and the sex has begun. Hopefully, your tops have been true gents and gotten you all open and ready with rimming, possibly some fingering and now the penetration. It’s up to you, but I’d let both of them have sex with you for as long as they want… (and feels comfortable for you) this means that when it comes to the DP your butt hole muscle will be relaxed and ready for something bigger.
The DP
There are three main positions for DP, but we’ve posted four, in case you’re basically just extra.
The Double Stuff
IMAGE: Robert Flood
The Double Stuff is where the Btm lies on top, face down on Top 1 who enters the ass first, then from behind, kneeling between Top 1 and the Btm’s legs, Top 2 then inserts his dick. Slowly! In this position, Top 2 mostly controls the action. If Top 1 or the btm moves too much, both Tops will most likely fall out.
Tip: for this position whichever Top has the largest penis should be on the bottom and enter first.
The Laidback Cowboy DP
IMAGE: Robert Flood
This time the Btm faces up and lies on his back on the stomach of Top 1, who should again enter first. Top 2 then put his penis and because of his position gets the best view, but also, again gets to control the thrusting action more.
Tip: If your Btm is a heavier guy, then he’ll need to support his weight with his elbows or hands, meaning that both his hands will be occupied, so Top 2 can always jerk him off
[totalpoll id=”125213″]
The King Of Clubs
IMAGE: Robert Flood
The King Of Club DP position is where the two Tops lie opposite each other with their butts, balls and penises meeting in the middle. Their legs outstretched past the shoulders of the other top. The two top’s legs will cross each at around the knee. The tops’ penises should meet in the middle and essentially create one dick for the Btm to lower himself on to. The Btm will need some good upper body strength for this as he lowers himself down and steadies himself on top of the two tops. However, this is the position where the Btm has most of the control over thrusting and how deep the penetration is.
Tip: Because this is essentially creating one large penis for the Btm to sit on it can actually be harder to do. First, a lot of foreplay and fucking needs to happen before you attempt this to really relax the muscles. You could also try raising one of the Top’s hips up with a pillow under the butt, making his penis stand higher than the other, meaning the Btm can insert one, then the other.
[totalpoll id=”125262″]
The Frogs Legs
IMAGE: Robert Flood
Now this position requires quite a bit of flexibility from all concerned but has 10/10 marks for views for all and well, just the feeling of achievement alone. It’s almost the exact reverse of the King of Clubs DP.
The Btm lays on his back, with his butt in the air and his legs towards his chest or shoulders. Both Tops face away from each other, butts touching, whilst squatting over the Btm and straddling one of the Btm’s legs, creating a crisscross or the look of frog’s legs. Then pointing their dick’s down, enter the Btm. The fun thing about this position is that both Tops can control the trusting and slipping out is less of an issue.
Tip: This position needs the Tops to have some flexibility in their dicks to be able to bend downwards. The Btm’s back can be supported with a pillow under his lower back or butt.
Remember
If it hurts or there’s blood or you’ve just had enough, say STOP. End it when you need to. The ass is a delicate area. The rectum’s lining is quite thin and too much trauma will damage it. This is not the time to just power through the pain, you could be causing damage.
The key is to relax, a little discomfort might happen, but the more you can chill and relax, the better it will become… and I promise it’s like nothing you’ve felt before (for tops and btms!).
There’s no need to trawl the streets looking for escorts or rentboys in fact, in 2020 is anyone still really doing that? There are loads of escorting and rentboy sites, which you can Google, where guys of all shapes, sizes and colours have uploaded their pictures and loaded their profiles with information on what they’re into and up for. You’ll be able to find someone to suit your needs very quickly.
2. Reach out to them
Whether you call, text, Whatsapp or email the next step is to make contact with them. Some workers may be around all hours, others might not be. If he’s available or taking bookings he’ll answer.
Once you’ve connected, here’s where you tell him or describe what it is you’re looking for and the worker will be able to tell you whether it’s doable.
Lay it all out here. Don’t spring any surprises on your escort when you’re actually meeting.
Also, discuss the price. The escort may have already said what his price per hour is on the website, or he may have put “Ask Me”… Tell him how long you’re looking for and what price he can do it for. The going rate is around £150 per hour. There may be extras, which can be bolted on, such as bareback, massage, kink etc.
Some guys will offer “in calls” – that’s where you go to him and “outcalls” is where he’ll travel to you.
Outcalls can be more expensive and you might be asked for a deposit from your guy. This is normal and is essentially because some clients bail at the last minute or give out false information. So a deposit shows you really mean business.
3. Agree on it all before you or he turns up!
Again don’t spring it on your guy that you’re into fisting or food play or underwear smelling beforehand. Equally, if you’re wanting to top him, let him know beforehand, so he can prepare. Most escorts, if they are bottoms or vers, will already be prepared… Also, have the safer sex discussion. Some guys will bareback, others won’t. Don’t push if he says he’s condom only.
Shower (be clean) and prep yourself, if you’re looking to get fucked. Nobody likes a shitty kitty (unless that’s what you’ve paid for). Looking for info on douching? Check it out here.
5. Arrive and money
Don’t forget sex work is work. The money conversation should happen upfront. Preferred method… cash. Don’t make a big thing about it. Again it’s a good point to lay out what it is you want to do. It’s your time so script it out if that helps.
6. Get down to it.
It’s your time so use it how you want to. Let your guy know what works, what doesn’t, but be polite and professional and your escort will reciprocate (again unless you’ve paid for something different).
If you agreed on condoms, make sure you wear one and don’t pressure your sex worker into having bareback once in the flow of things. A good escort will have a supply of condoms, lube and most likely poppers, particularly if it’s an incall.
8. Clean up in aisle.
Once the fun is over, let your escort make his excuses and leave. Make sure you see him to the door. If you’re feeling generous a tip will never be refused.
9. Review
If you enjoyed give him a good review on whatever website you found him on.
Decoding “A Levels” – if you see “A Levels” in someone’s dating, hook up or even sex-worker profile here is what it means.
Simply put it means Anal Sex and has nothing to do with the exams that school leavers take before heading off to university!
Mostly used in the UK and traditionally used by sex workers to show that they offer anal sex as one of their services. Not every escort site uses the term, but you can still see it on sites like Vivastreet.
It’s been a year since me and my first boyfriend broke up and I’m still can’t get over him. We were together for 2 years and unfortunately, it really didn’t end too well. One day he just said it wasn’t working and that he wanted to move on. Up until that point, I thought that we and our relationship was doing well. I did notice in the last month that he seemed more distance and we weren’t having as much sex as we were in the beginning, but I just put that down to being together for 2 years.
The break up came out of the blue and he moved out almost immediately. I was really shocked by it. I begged him and pleaded with him to come back and talk to me. He actually ended up blocking me after a month or so and I’ve been left here, feeling like complete shit.
I feel broken by the experience and very alone. I feel like I’ve alienated myself from my friends and I’m sure they are done with my talking about him. They say I should move on. But I feel completely stuck.
I have met with other guys, had a few dates, but nothing sticks because I keep thinking about him.
Is it normal to not be over an ex after a year?
Tomas
Dear Tomas,
I feel your pain. Breakups are never easy, whether you’re the breaker or the breakee and without a doubt, your ex did a horrible thing to you, by not explaining his actions. I really do feel that if you’re going to break up with someone, you have to be completely honest with them. I think it helps with closure.
By not telling you, he’s still in control of you, because it’s led you, understandably down a path of fixation, wondering and abandonment and by blocking you, without engaging with your questions, he’s still controlling the narrative. Which you can, and will change.
Let me say, it’s completely normal to not be over someone you’ve loved after any period of time and the time it takes for someone to get over an ex, will be different for everyone, you just have to trust that over time your pain will subside and there’s no schedule to follow.
He has scarred you and scars stay with us for life, but will diminish slowly over time and fade, but if we’re wise we can use that scar to remind us that everything eventually heals and what you’re left with is fresh, new skin, which is stronger than what it replaced. Healing is truly remarkable, but you have to let it happen and stop picking at the scar, no matter how itchy or tempting it is to reveal the renewed skin underneath. You have to let the process happen and one day the scab will fall away.
Dealing with heartbreak is just the same. Give yourself time, don’t beat yourself up and reach out to people and talk. If you think your friends have had enough ex chat then why not try an LGBT+ helpline like Switchboard.
After seeing his son kiss another lad in town, one dad took to Reddit to ask on how he should speak to him about it.
He laid out the situation like this,
“I saw my son (16) kissing his “best friend”. I didn’t tell my wife because she will probably hate him because of it but how could I? I really love him he’s my son after all and I don’t mind him being gay.
My question is how can I help him when he comes out and should I tell him to hold it back with his mom?”
Well, let’s just hold on a minute there as we refreeze our melted hearts. This guy might be up for dad of the year award.
Never ones to fail, guys of the AskGayMen forum, did not hold back on their advice.
Don’t confront…
With one suggesting that the dad didn’t “confront him” and that the boy would “tell you when he’s ready… but maybe you can work it into a conversation that you’re okay with it”
While another suggested that being subtle was everyone’s friend, “just be a lot more subtle than you initially think. It’s probably front and centre in his mind, so he will be very sensitive to the subject”.
While another echoed. “If I were your son I wouldn’t want to be confronted (that’s just me tho) if I’m not ready to come out I don’t want others outing me, imo you should create a supportive environment and low-key and subtly let your son know that you are lgbtq+ supportive”.
Confronting the homophobes
Confronting homophobes and homophobia in a public setting was suggested by the commentators, to show that he was supportive of the gay community. Photo by fauxels on Pexels.com
On the subject of his wife, one user suggested that the dad should “confront people who say homophobic things or at the very least say you disagree and explain your position. This will show your son that he doesn’t have to be afraid of talking about these kinds of things with you.”
The dad replied, “I never said anything against it. But I’ll definitely do it the next time.”
Decoding DP – if you see “DP” in someone’s dating or Grindr profile, here is what it means.
Simply put it means Double Penetration.
Yes, that’s two cocks up your bum. Not for the faint-hearted and probably only for a guy who is an experienced bottom.
He’ll probably need quite a bit of prep time and a lot of warming up with a lot of foreplay. Remember not to rush the experience and take your time.
Oh and with any kind of anal sex, don’t forget the lube, go for a long-lasting lube, like a silicone-based lube, which is less tacky than water-based lube and generally lasts much longer without drying out.
It can feel that sometimes that sex is just one act, but in reality, it’s a jigsaw of many (moving) parts. Some are more enjoyable than others, some need working at to become pleasurable and some, well, are the moments that really bond two (three or four we’re not judging!) people together.
So recently, when Redditor guys talked about what part of sex they weren’t afraid to get down and dirty…
The son of the Sultan of Brunei, who was outed as gay by Perez Hilton has died at the age of 38, with the cause of his death currently being reported as severe systemic vasculitis – an autoimmune disease, according to an Instagram post published by his younger brother Prince Mateen.
The Prince was known for throwing lavish parties and hanging out with A-list celebrity friends, like Mariah Carey and Michael Jackson. He was the fourth in line to the throne in the Kingdom of Brunei.
The Prince was outed as gay in April 2019, by Perez Hilton, which caused huge controversy, as homosexual acts are illegal and punishable by death in the Kingdom of Brunei.
He added that it is not illegal to be gay in Brunei, but illegal to have gay sex.
Speaking about the Prince’s death, Perez said, “I am still in shock and trying to process this. I am struggling for words. Azim, your humor and generosity, and grace are what I will remember most. Thank you for the kind words you left me with about my children. I know how important your family was to you,” he wrote.
He continued, “My deepest condolences to all of them, everyone in #Brunei, all your friends in London and beyond. Rest in power.”
I am still in shock and trying to process this. I am struggling for words. Azim, your humor and generosity and grace are what I will remember most. Thank you for the kind words you left me with about my children. I know how important your family was to you. pic.twitter.com/HcVjbV1IXh
Film star Garrett Clayton has excited his fans with his Halloween costume for 2020. The King Cobra star showcased his best Hercules outfit and managed to show off a fair bit of skin, which of course fans were very grateful to see.
In the video, posted to Instagram, the star mimed to the hit “Go The Distance” which is from the film Hercules.
He captioned the cheeky picture “Is @disneystudios still accepting applications for Young Hercules? “
Disney announced that the 1997 Hercules, which is loosely based on the son of the Roman god, Jupiter, is due for a live-action remake and we think that Garrett would be perfect for the role, of young Hercules, despite being 29, although we may need to check his shoe size… just look at those feet
The 28th Raindance Film Festival, which starts on Oct. 29th and runs through Nov. 7th, will bring the best of independent films and immersive experiences online and in London. The festival program is packed with features, shorts, immersive content, talks, panels and Q&As, which also comprise the following LGBT+ films:
A Dim Valley (dir: Brandon Colvin, USA). International Premiere. In this hallucinogenic fairytale, a biologist and his two pot-smoking assistants working deep in the Appalachian woods encounter a trio of mystical backpackers.
Born to Be (dir: Tania Cypriano, USA). UK Premiere. An intimate look at how the work of Dr Jess Ting at New York’s groundbreaking Mount Sinai Center for Transgender Medicine and Surgery impacts the lives of his patients, as well as his own life.
Drag Kids (dir: Megan Wennberg, Canada) UK Premiere. Touching documentary chronicling four drag performers under the age of 12. Having faced enormous scrutiny over their brief drag careers, the young stars prepare for the biggest performance of their lives at Montreal Pride.
Madame (dir: Stéphane Riethauser, Switzerland). UK premiere. Using private archive footage, this family saga challenges the taboos of gender and sexuality as a flamboyant 90-year old and her gay grandson explore the development and transmission of gender identity in a patriarchal environment.
The Mystery of the Pink Flamingo (dir: Javier Polo Gandia, Spain). With contributors including John Walters and Eduardo Casanova, this eccentric documentary follows a man obsessed with flamingos on his quest to unravel the real story behind this pink socio-cultural phenomenon. This film is nominated for Raindance’s “Best Cinematography” Award.
Under My Skin (dir: David O’Donnell, Australia/USA). Liv Hewson and Alex Russell star as a free-spirited artist and a straight-laced lawyer respectively, whose love is tested by questions of gender. Liv Hewson is nominated for Raindance’s “Best Performance” Award for their role in this film.
In addition to these films from the feature programme, within the Raindance Immersive VR strand is the following VR documentary:
Another Dream (creator: Tamara Shogoalu/Ado Ato Pictures).A hybrid animated documentary and VR game which brings the gripping, true love story of an Egyptian lesbian couple to life. Faced with a post-revolution backlash against the LGBT+ community, they escape Cairo to seek asylum and find acceptance in the Netherlands.
Raindance Film Festival runs 28 October – 7 November, and Raindance Immersive runs 28 October – 15 November.
