Tag: Bottoming

All the latest breaking news Bottoming. Browse The THEGAYUK’s complete collection of features and commentary on bottoming.

These guys share what they think when there’s a poop incident during sex

Rinse, Wash and Repeat

Does sex end when poop happens during anal sex?

Pooping is a fact of life when you’re dealing with the butt and anal sex. Yep, for the most part, the butt is where waste leaves your body – and to that end, nothing really to be ashamed about. We all do it.

If you’re bottoming, there are ways to minimise a poop event, by being careful of what you eat before sex and also taking time over your cleaning preparation. But, sometimes even the most careful of us, will have that moment of, “oh sht, that’s sht”.

Don’t worry it’s not the end of the world. There are some options for you. You can both jump in the shower and have a wash down, or if your partner is up for it, flip roles!

ALSO READ: What’s a white-glove bottom?

ALSO READ: 10 things you should know about rimming

Is it the end of play if poop happens during sex?

So what happens if you accidentally have a pooping incident during sex, these nine guys share what they think when the shiz hits the fan.

1) “Wash, rinse, repeat.” (VIA)

2) “If neither one can get by with a little poo then neither one should be having anal in the first place. Shit happens. It’s a butt – what’d you expect?” (VIA)

3) “Usually, I think that ends anal for the night. Hop in the shower, rinse off, resume oral/body contact/making out. I’ve never gone back to anal after an incident lol but that’s nbd”. (VIA)

4) “Clean up and proceed or flip roles if they happen to be clean. It’s really only a problem if you don’t have a place to wash up around.” (VIA)

5) “Take it to the shower, with silicone lube in hand. Ta-da.” (VIA)

6) “It’s an occupational hazard, like catching a pube when you’re giving a blowjob. Grow up, and towel off, I guess? Humanity is repulsive if you look at it with any seriousness. I find accepting that goes a long way.” (VIA)

7) “It’s the ass’ way of communicating. It says “I want more”” (VIA)

8) “Yeah, have to say I laugh at the tops who get all squeamish about guys ‘cleaning’ beforehand. You are putting your penis into an asshole. It’s where poop comes from”. (VIA)

9) “It’s just literally the male equivalent to a queef. If you’re pounding air into something it’s going to release. The bottom doesn’t even usually know it’s going to happen”. (VIA)

15th May 2018
Is it safe to bottom after prostate surgery?
One of the major concerns for gay men who have had prostate surgery to remove the prostate gland is whether they can ever bottom again.
Table of Contents
What and where is the prostate?
What happens when the prostate is removed?
Can you have gay sex after prostate surgery?
How long should you wait after prostate surgery to have gay sex?
The prostate is often referred to as the G Spot for men, or indeed, trans women. It has tonnes of nerve endings and when manipulated, it can cause huge amounts of pleasure for the recipient. Due to its placement in the body, the only way to access the prostate is either through fingering, anal sex or sounding.

What and where is the prostate?

The Prostate is a satsuma sized gland, located between the penis and bladder. Its function is to help in the production of semen. It produces the white fluid which is mixed with sperm created in the testicles.

What happens when the prostate is removed?

Removing the prostate is an operation which will be done under general anaesthetic, and it’s called a prostatectomy. This is where the entire or part of the prostate gland is removed. Usually due to cancer, but it might be removed for other reasons.

The operation does carry risks, including erectile dysfunction, urinary incontinence and loss of ejaculation, however, it doesn’t mean that sex for gay men has to stop.

In order to check the health of your prostate, you might receive a rectal examination.

Can you have gay sex after prostate surgery?

One reader recently asked whether it was safe for him to bottom again after surgery. We asked Doctor Rick Viney, a consultant urological surgeon at BMI The Priory and BMI Edgbaston hospitals in Birmingham, whether it was possible to bottom, or be the receptive partner in anal sex after a prostatectomy, he told us,

“With plenty of lube and going very gently at first there should be no problems.

“Now the prostate has gone the sensations may be diminished.

“Probably best done on an empty bladder as there may be a risk of some urinary incontinence unless you are ok with that – you might want to warn a potential partner of this possibility, beforehand.”

ALSO READ 10 things you probably didn’t know that happens if you’re diagnosed with prostate cancer.

How long should you wait after prostate surgery to have gay sex?

Prostate charity, Prostate Cancer UK, suggests waiting at least 6 weeks after surgery or treatment before attempting anal sex and say that you should be a little more cautious.

In our podcast with Prostate Cancer survivor Martin Wells he told us, depending on your treatment, you could lose your ability to get a self-maintained erection, but said, that even though he couldn’t have sex in the same way as he had before his treatment, he learned a brand new way of being intimate with his partner. He now enjoys a more tantric approach to sex.

As always, it’s always best to ask your own physician or GP after surgery to see if there might be any other complications.
5th April 2018
Can we use ginger as an insertable during sex?

This week a reader asks whether he and his partner can use a ginger root as an insertable during sex.

“Hey guys,

My partner and I want to be adventurous, and try vegetable insertion, and have been told ginger is particularly good as it gives a burning sensation.”

Anon

Dear Anon

Oh dear god don’t. Have you ever put a ginger directly on to your tongue? It burns. Now multiply that by many times over and that’s what, I imagine, putting a ginger up yer bum will most likely feel like.

Like chillies, ginger has chemical compounds that cause a burn. In ginger, the chemical is called Gingerol which is very similar to capsaicin – the heat and taste creating chemical in a chilli.

Now if you’re looking for something that gives off heat that is warming whilst putting something up your ass – then there are loads of lubes that will give you that sensation. For instance, Durex’s Warming lube will effectively warm up your hole, without making it a ring of fire.

Plus, it’s condom compatible and safe to use internally.

stux / Pixabay

If you’re looking for a bobbly insertable, there are many butt plugs or dildos on the market, like these anal beads from Carvaka that will give you interesting and unexpected feelings, down there.

As with anything that you might think about putting up your bum, a good rule of thumb is, if it burns on the tip of your tongue, it will feel even more intense elsewhere. Remember, the anus is much more difficult to wash out, at speed, than your mouth.

The advice listed above is not intended to replace or take the place of that of your own doctor, GP or medical professional who knows your full medical history. If in any doubt make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible.

To get your sexual health and emotional questions answered click here.

8th March 2018
Here’s what you should know if you’re planning to have anal sex (and have piles)

You can have sex if you have piles… but go carefully.

Suffering from piles when you’re a bottom or even a power bottom could spell disaster for your sex life. The fact is that piles or haemorrhoids are a fact of life for many people.

Piles are caused by swollen veins in the anus. They can be caused by straining when going to the toilet (number two), mainly during constipation, and many people don’t even know they have them – because they can occur inside your rectum – where you can’t see them.

When they come out your bottom, that’s when they can become a bit of a problem.

Does anal cause piles?

But before we go on, let’s clear one thing up, they aren’t caused by having anal sex.

Jose Perez de la Cruz, a Public Health Practitioner at the Terrence Higgins Trust told us, “anal sex has the potential to inflame pre-existing haemorrhoids (piles), though research shows that it does not cause them in the first place. So long as the piles are not actively bleeding or painful at the time of intercourse then it is probably safe to have sex”.

So should you take a break from anal sex if you’ve actively got piles going on? Jose continues, “I would recommend using Preparation H (under a fiver) or Germoloids (over a fiver) to help control pain and inflammation and to reduce swelling. During sex, it is also important that you use a good water-based lubricant, particularly during acts of multiple people or high-frequency sexual activity as this will reduce the chance of any inflammation being caused.”

He also suggests that they are unlikely to burst during sex, but suggests if the piles don’t clear up after a while that you book an appointment with your doctor to talk options.

The advice listed above is not intended to replace or take the place of that of your own doctor, GP or medical professional who knows your full medical history. If in any doubt make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible.

OTHER QUESTIONS: HIV | WILLY WONDERS | HOLES | DOING IT | STIs | LUMPS & BUMPS | BACK TO SEX CLINIC HOME PAGE

Got a problem you’d like advice on? Click here to ask your question

30th January 2018
BIG GAY GLOSSARY | Bottom

What does bottom mean?

What or who is a Bottom in terms of gay sex?

Well, it could mean a variety of things to a variety of people, but generally, the “bottom” is the guy who is the receptive partner in anal sex. Although it could be a label for someone who is more sub within sex.

So the guy who’s underneath (or on top if you’re doing the cowboy) is known as the “bottom”. The giver is known as the “Top”. Not everybody likes the terms “top” or “bottom” for some being a bottom is seen as less than, more subservient or more effeminate, but some, like Big Brother US star Ragan Fox have empowered the word and meaning by calling themselves, “power bottoms”.

More recently, when Nurse Jackie star, Haaz Sleiman came out as gay he totally owned the bottom thing saying, “Not only am I a bottom, but I’m also a total bottom, which means I like it up you-know-where.”

Otherwise, you could go with giver and givee, catcher and pitcher or just their names… (no labels!)

Apparently, there’s quite a bit of stigma attached to being a bottom. A survey found sixty per cent of readers thought that there was or weren’t sure if there was a stigma attached to bottoming or being the receiving partner during penetrative sex. Only 40 per cent said no there wasn’t a stigma.

Can you expand this definition? Use the comments below and your answer could be used to expand or define this glossary entry.

Check out more definitions in our Big Gay Glossary

11th January 2018
How to talk about sex again after treatment for male cancer

Being diagnosed with any kind of cancer can be a devastating experience, but can you start to think about sex again after treatment?

For men, a testicular or prostate cancer diagnosis and the treatment of those cancers can lead to so many questions about their sex lives. We spoke to Dr Becky Spelman who is a relationship expert at We-Vibe who explained to us male cancers can be an emotional blow and can have a deep impact on the sex lives of survivors.

She told us,

“Engaging with our sex life after a serious illness is always a challenge—and it’s even trickier after treatment for a condition such as prostate or testicular cancer. Survivors of prostate or testicular cancer may feel like they are “less of a man”, and this can pose a significant emotional blow, which can impact seriously on their sex life. They might feel unattractive, or that the illness was their fault, for some reason they don’t understand and can’t articulate. It’s important to understand that the illness is no one’s fault. Anyone can get sick. Take the time you need to engage with the emotional as well as the physical side of the healing process, and attend a professional therapist, or group therapy, if you feel it will help”.

Things after cancer change

Men who survive cancer can find problems with maintaining erections. Dr Becky explains,

“Survivors of these kinds of cancer may have to live with the reality of a very different sex life than the one they had before. Many men will now be unable to maintain an erection. While this can mean the end of penetrative sex, it doesn’t have to mean the end of all sex, forever. Lots of sex acts don’t involve penetration—and, of course, there’s nothing to prevent a post-operative man from being the receptive partner in lovemaking. An open mind, and the willingness to experiment will open up possibilities that you might never have considered before.

Men who have had prostate cancer, can continue to have anal sex, but the charity, Prostate Cancer UK warns, “Some men who receive anal sex find that after having their prostate removed their experience of sex changes.

“Bowel problems and sensitivity in the anus after radiotherapy can also be an issue. It’s best to wait until your symptoms have settled before trying anal play or sex. If you’ve had permanent seed brachytherapy there is a risk in the first few months that your partner might be exposed to some radiation during sex. Talk to your doctor or nurse about when it’s safe to have sex.”

Acceptance

“People in recovery from serious illness can be horrified to find themselves struggling with negative emotions such as resentment. They may feel that it’s not fair that they got sick when others, who perhaps have less healthy lifestyles, are just fine. While these are not noble emotions, they are understandable.

Rather than ignoring them or pushing them below the surface, you need to accept that they are there, and find a way to manage them. There’s lots of help out there for people recovering from serious illness. People can and do recover from the trauma of illness all the time—and rebuild healthy sex lives in the process”.

28th November 2017
Why it might be hurting when you have sex

Ever wondered why it hurts when you’re having sex?

Partner not being patient

There’s no rush and it’s not a race, so STFD (slow the F down). It can take time to the receptive partner ready – regardless what you see in porn, or that infamous spit and shove scene in Brokeback Mountain – you shouldn’t really just start ploughing – you could cause damage. The more effort you put in at the beginning will pay dividends for the long play.

Piles

You might have them not even know about it. Some piles are inside you – and you won’t even know that they are there until – pop! People who have piles complain that they are itchy and stinging. If you have that sensation it might be worth getting some medical advice – and lay off the anal sex for a few weeks.

If you’re suffering from haemorrhoids you can buy Preparation H or Germaloids online and this should help ease them away and give yourself a few days rest from sex to help you heal.

You have a sexual health issue

STIs can play havoc with your private parts causing untold itches, stinging and throbbings. If you’re sexually active go get checked out at your nearest sexual health clinic.

You’re not relaxed

Again take it slow. The anus is not self-lubricating and needs a little attention before your partner can go full steam ahead. Make sure you spend a little time on foreplay. And make sure there’s lube – plenty of it.

Not enough lube

More more more…

When it comes to anal sex, lube is always best and usually, just like bottles of booze at a party – the more the merrier. For a full run down on anal sex and lube read our article on why it matters.

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10th September 2017
Is it normal to bleed after anal sex?

Myths persist – but here’s what you need to know if you’re bleeding after anal sex.

(C) BIGSTOCK / Depositphotos

Anal sex can be an integral part of a sexual relationship, but not all couples do it – however, there’s a lot of wrong information out there about bottoming.

Bleeding after anal sex can be just ‘one of those things’ and can happen on your first go round or your 100th – so to put your mind and butt at rest, here’s why it happens.

Tiny rips happen

Your rectum is not self-lubricating, so unless you’re using lube, you’re going to be creating a lot of friction, which can cause the lining of the rectum to tear or rip a little, if this sounds hideous, it might be worth noting that most of these rips are tiny – and can actually happen outside of sex as well. These rips can cause bleeds – and most probably you’ve had bleeds but never realised it.

It happens because the lining of your rectum is not as strong as your normal skin.

Also, anal sex could also be causing what is known as an anal fissure. Anal fissures are tiny rips that can happen both on the inside and on and around your actual hole – especially if you’re not relaxed or have not loosened yourself up before the main event. These can heal all by themselves within a few weeks.

The P Word…

Another issue is the dreaded P word – yes piles.

Bleeds may be caused by popping a pile or if we’re going to be medical about it, haemorrhoids. Piles are completely normal and are the enlargement of a blood vessel that already exists inside your butt. You might not even know you have one until it pops during sex.

Some people have visible piles on the outside of the anus, whilst some have them on the inside.

There’s no evidence to show that having anal sex causes piles but it can inflame the issue.

Jose Perez de la Cruz from THT told us, “So long as the piles are not actively bleeding or painful at the time on intercourse then it is probably safe to have sex. If they are bleeding or there is inflammation though this means that the natural protective barrier formed by the skin and mucous membranes is not at its optimum which if exposed to an STI can make transmission more likely”.

“So long as the piles are not actively bleeding or painful at the time on intercourse then it is probably safe to have sex. If they are bleeding or there is inflammation though this means that the natural protective barrier formed by the skin and mucous membranes is not at its optimum which is exposed to an STI can make transmission more likely”.

If you’re suffering from haemorrhoids you can buy Preparation H or Germaloids online and this should help ease them away and give yourself a few days rest from sex to help you heal.

When should I seek help?

If you are experiencing a lot of pain or prolonged aching after sex you might need to seek medical help. It is normal for there to be some discomfort for a day after, especially after your first time. However, if pain continues you should go and see your GP or book yourself into a sexual health clinic.

If there is a lot of blood (think steady drip rather than a bit of spotting on your toilet paper) you should go and see your doc ASAP.

Dr Shawn Khodadadian, a board-certified gastroenterologist in Manhattan, is cautioning people against ignoring rectal bleeding. He warns that rectal bleeding could be a sign of other, far more serious illness such as colorectal or colon cancer. He said,

“as there are many possible causes and getting an early diagnosis is particularly important. This is because although rectal bleeding can be a symptom of haemorrhoids, colitis or anal fissures, it can also be a sign of a far more serious illness for example colorectal or colon cancer. These types of cancers can often be completely cured when detected early.”

You’re gonna need lube and lots of it

So the best way to stop the friction is to use lube a lot of it. You can find out about the different types of lube here. If you’re having a long session – they don’t forget to keep reapplying the lube or use a silicone-based lube, which should last a lot longer.

Remember, despite what you see in gay porn, you can just ram it in. You need to take your time, use lube and go an inch at a time!

Good luck and have fun!

30th August 2017
What is a bottom in gay sex?

So here we are: gay sex 101.

What or who is a Bottom in terms of gay sex?

Well, it could mean a variety of things to a variety of people, but generally, the “bottom” is the guy who is the receptive partner in anal sex. Although it could be a label for someone who is more sub with in sex.

So the guy who’s underneath (or on top if you’re doing the cowboy) is known as the “bottom”. The giver is known as the “Top”. Not everybody likes the terms “top” or “bottom” for some being a bottom is seen as less than, more subservient or more effeminate, but some, like Big Brother US star Ragan Fox have empowered the word and meaning by calling themselves, “power bottoms”.

More recently, when Nurse Jackie star, Haaz Sleiman came out as gay he totally owned the bottom thing saying, “Not only am I a bottom, but I’m also a total bottom, which means I like it up you-know-where.”

Other wise you could go with giver and givee, catcher and pitcher or just their names… (no labels!)

Apparently, there’s quite a bit of stigma attached to being a bottom. A survey found sixty per cent of readers thought that there was or weren’t sure if there was a stigma attached to bottoming or being the receiving partner during penetrative sex. Only 40 per cent said no there wasn’t a stigma.

Only 40 per cent said no there wasn’t a stigma.

What is a Power Bottom?

Power Bottoms are those who dominate in sex but are those who enjoy receiving anal sex – or someone who can power through and take the *D* for a long time.

Those who like being both a top and the bottom are usually referred to as “vers” which means versatile. The terms tops, bottoms and vers have been around for a long time, but have become increasingly popular since the dawn of internet dating and apps.

Guys who like to bottom are usually great at keeping things clean and hygienic down there. Want to know more? You can read our tips on what to eat if you’re planning to bottom tonight or how to prep yourself like a porn star!

What are bottom myths?

Bottoms aren’t (necessarily)

Effeminate

Slutty

They want it all the time

Don’t feel the pain

Totally sub

So there you have it – got tips or something to add? Use the comment section below…

29th August 2017
Do you know what a white glove bottom is?

What is a white glove bottom and how do you know if you are one?

A white glove bottom is a guy who won’t bottom (be penetrated by another guy) unless he’s completely sure he’s completely clean if you get our drift. So basically he’s the type who will most probably douche or use an enema before penetration to ensure there’s no mess… ever.

Not every man who bottoms is a “white glove bottom” – if you know your body and have a good diet it isn’t always necessary to be excessive with your cleaning.

ALSO READ: 9 foods you shouldn’t eat if you’re planning to bottom tonight

But if you’re worried about mess, use a condom. These things happen and it’s not the end of the world.

OTHER QUESTIONS: HIV | WILLY WONDERS | HOLES | DOING IT | STIs | LUMPS & BUMPS | BACK TO SEX CLINIC HOME PAGE

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15th August 2017
Who’s paid more in gay adult films? The Tops or bottoms?

We spoke with a number of adult stars who work in the adult film industry to ask the questions we were just burning to ask. One of those questions was whether bottoms earn more than tops in scenes

So, imagine if you will, you’re a bottom in a scene, you’ve got a lot more prep to do to make sure you’re ready for the scene and make extra special preparations so you don’t have an awkward accident mid-scene. We’ve been told that you have to be careful with your diet as well as keeping a healthy lifestyle. Mexican food is apparently the worst!

You’ve also got to be able to take a pounding for hours. One star told us that filming a scene could take up to five hours. Ouch.

So we put the question to those who identified as bottoms or versatile in the industry and asked whether they get paid more than their partners. Sebastian Evan who has worked for Blakemason and Brit Hard Lads, told us, “I always bottom and I ONLY bottom. And no, we do not get paid more”. Michael Lachlan agreed and added, “I don’t see why they would. The top has to put in a lot of effort and a lot of cardio into a sex scene it is actually very tiring”.

Edwin Skyes added that it was pretty much a “myth” in the industry that a bottom would get paid for a scene.

Jonny Kingdom, who has starred in films for Blakemason and GuysInSweatPants.com elaborated on the payment for scenes, he said, “Most of us are self- employed and model fees are different for everyone”. However unlike the other stars, he also revealed that he does get paid more for being a bottom.

So whilst most performers don’t get paid more for the role they take in the scene, it’s not unheard of that a star could get paid more for being a bottom.

5th July 2017