THEGAYUK

Tag: Bottoming

All the latest breaking news Bottoming. Browse The THEGAYUK’s complete collection of features and commentary on bottoming.

  • These guys share why they are strict bottoms

    These guys share why they are strict bottoms

    While lots of us will settle with a “Vers” label there are many gay or bi guys who will only bottom or only top.

    These self-identified bottoms, on a Reddit forum, reveal why they are strictly bottoms.

    [totalpoll id=”122890″]

    Delaying the O

    “I like bottoming for several reasons: first, the feeling, but secondly it lets me maintain control and delay my orgasm, because otherwise, I’d be pretty quick. I also really enjoy turning a guy on and pleasing him, so all combined makes me a great bottom and a not so great top. Have the urge every once in a while, but it usually passes pretty quickly.” VIA

    (C) REALITY DUDES

    Love the domination

    “I love the feeling as he slides inside and the feeling of being dominated by a guy and his dick. I also like the idea that the top is totally getting off knowing I want it him to do me.” VIA

    Bored topping

    “I love ass and I’ve had many guys want me to top them but I like a dick in my ass more than mine in an ass. I’ve tried both and I get bored topping because it doesn’t feel that good to me and every bottom expects me to cum from that which I just can’t.” VIA

    Big butt that brings the boys to the yard

    “I mainly btm because of my big… asset… It’s a big part of the physical attraction a top has to me… and some of the guys that have btm for me grab my ass and tell me they wish they had a big bubble butt like I do… also, since tops enjoy rimming me so much, I can’t really complain, it’s enjoyable and pleasurable and an ego boost when a top become subservient to pleasing my ass… which is kinda the opposite of actuality because it’s really two cheeks and a hole, but it’s as if they are trying to pleasure my butt instead of get their dicks off.” VIA

    (C) BIGSTOCK

    A different kind of orgasm

    “The sad thing is that some people look down on bottoms like they’re only in it to please their men and secretly it’s just always painful. So ridiculous. My ass has EASILY brought me as much pleasure as my dick, and it had a lot of lost years to make up for! yeah completely different kind of orgasm, and much better in my opinion.” VIA

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    Some of these answers have been edited for clarity and grammar. It was first published in September 2018.

  • Do I need to use lube for anal sex?

    Do I need to use lube for anal sex?

    When it comes to anal sex, lube is always best and usually, just like bottles of booze at a party – the more the merrier. You really shouldn’t try the Brokeback Mountain spit and shove. You’re likely to hurt yourself and cause damage to your anus or rectum.

    You really can’t go wrong with using lubes and there are so many types, brands and bases to try. Some are best if you’re going bareback (that’s sex without a condom) whilst other work best if you’re rubbering up. Some are even recommended for fisting… but maybe that’s a different article altogether.

    So what’s the best lube for the job?

    Lubes for sex with a condom?

    If you’re going for a standard, rubbered up sesh, then a silicone or water-based lube is the best. We recommend lubes like the Liquid Silk or the specially designed anal lube from Lubido. These work best with condom usage. You can also use them in bareback sex as well. Water-based lubes are the easiest to wash and wipe off and don’t stain the bedsheets.

    A note to the wise, when using condoms, you may want to use a little more lube than you think you should. It can feel a little drier than without a condom and you should never use oil-based lubes for condom play – it could destroy the integrity of the johnny.

    Also never lube up your penis before putting on a condom. The condom is really likely to slip off if you do this. Only lube up the outside of the condom.

    Silicon-based lubes tend to last longer than water-based, but not as long as petroleum-based lubes. They are also a little stickier than water-based ones.

    What’s the best lube for bareback sex?

    For bareback sex you can use water, silicone, oil or petroleum-based lubes. Oil or petroleum-based lubes are more likely to stain your sheets with oil marks, however.

    We absolutely recommend ID Millennium for bareback sex. It last longer and a little goes a long way.

    More buttery or oily lubes are better for other types of ass play – like fisting. Brands such as Crisco are famous in the gay community for their lubricating abilities.

    So how do you apply lube?

    A lube launcher can really help you get lube exactly where you need it.

    Well, there’s two schools of thought.

    As a bottom or the receptive partner you can take control of the lube situation, by maybe putting some lube on your own butthole before you begin, perhaps as you’re getting ready. Use your fingers to get some lube right up inside you. Or you can use a lube launcher, which puts the lube right where you need it!

    During the action, you can cover your partner’s dick (condomed or without) with lube as you blow him or jerk him off.

    Or if you’re the topper, you can maybe play with your partner’s ass during foreplay and use your fingers to fully lubricate the area. Either way, you’re going to want to make sure that you use enough – and don’t worry about stopping the action if you feel like you need more.

    Remember more is more in these situations and it’s best to try a variety of lubes to see which works best for you.

  • Here’s how you can simulate anal sex, when you’re not, you know, ready to bottom

    Here’s how you can simulate anal sex, when you’re not, you know, ready to bottom

    Well, the party doesn’t have to stop and you can still simulate anal sex for your partner, without actually taking the D inside you.

    This article discusses sexual matter.

    The spoon

    This has the added element of a natural sexual position. Lying in a spoon position, with the top lying behind the bottom, who spreads his legs slightly allowing the top to place his dick in between the bottom’s thighs, just below his butthole.

    The bottom/person at the front then closes their legs, creating a tight crevice for the person behind. Add lube, to make it more comfortable for the both of you. Silicone lube is best for this position as you won’t need a lot and it’s very long-lasting. This position can also be achieved in doggie style.

    Doggie Style

    The same technique as the spoon, except the bottom, is on all fours and the top “enters” from behind by placing his dick into the groin gap between the bottom’s thigh and scrotum.

    What’s cool about this position, is that both of you get a pleasurable experience, there are lots of nerve endings around the groin area so it will feel good. The top also has a wider range of movement for thrusting – so it will feel good for them too!

    Plus for the cumming situ, there’s the added bonus that the top can blow his load all over his partner’s butt!

    The armpit

    If you’re both up for something a little bit different you could try shoulder f*cking. Yep, you read that right.

    Essentially what happens here is the “top” puts his dick in the armpit gap created by the “bottom”‘s arm against his torso.

    This position is great for couples who like to face each other when having sex and also those who like to think outside the box when it comes to positions.

    If you like mixing laughter with f*cking, this is a great position because you’re very likely to burst out laughing at some point.

    The cumming situ is also good here, as the top can spurt in various places, including the face or the torso. Win-win for all those cum lovers out there.

    Apart from anything else, these positions offer an almost STI-free way of having sex. However, because there is skin on skin contact, you could still contract skin to skin STIs.

    As always, it’s good to add sexual health testing to your healthcare regime. If you’re having sex regularly with the same or multiple partners, experts suggest getting a check-up every three to six months.

    PHOTOS from NoirMale with Skyy Knoxx and DeAngelo Jackson. Get your subscription here

  • Is it normal for bottoms to lose their erections during sex?

    Is it normal for bottoms to lose their erections during sex?

    Did you know, it’s not that uncommon for guys to lose their boners while they’re bottoming? It could be the horniest thing in the world, but sometimes with all the will in the world, a hard dick can be as elusive as a coherent Donald Trump press conference.

    A cock that won’t play along can cause frustration both for the bottom and top. For the guy being penetrated a flaccid peen can be a cause for concern, for the top – there’s always the worry that their partner isn’t having a good time.

    Rest assured, a flaccid penis while being fucked is that not uncommon for the bottom, and tops – it doesn’t necessarily mean your partner is having a bad time.

    So why does it happen?

    yellow banana fruit on white surface
    Photo by Andreea Ch on Pexels.com

    So why do some bottoms lose their erection during sex?

    Well, no one quite knows and it might not be a one answer fits all scenario. Some guys lose their erections because of alcohol, chems or even sniffing poppers. Some can lose it because they’re concentrating on other things, like relaxing or tensing – depending on what’s happening down there, some may lose their erections because of medical issues, like prostate cancer recovery, or certain types of doctor-prescribed medications.

    The key is not to freak out about it.

    Keep an eye on the situation and get to know your body and how it reacts.

    However, if you think your erection issues might be caused by something else, it’s always worth reaching out and having a chat with your doctor.

    Remember not every sexual encounter has to have a solid hard erection in order for it to be a successful sexual encounter. Nor does it have to end with everyone climaxing.

    If you’re having fun and both having a good time and there’s no pain (outside of the normal feelings of anal sex) then crack on.

    Want to know some tricks on how to reduce discomfort while being fucked? Click here.

  • 9 foods you shouldn’t eat if you’re planning to bottom tonight

    9 foods you shouldn’t eat if you’re planning to bottom tonight

    A lot of people think that if you’re planning to bottom for a guy that you’ll only be able to eat ice cubes on your date, but that really isn’t true. It actually takes hours or even days for the food you eat to turn to poop and for it to be ready to leave your body.

    So, rather than worry about the food you’re eating that night, it might be worth looking at the foods to avoid in the morning or even the night before a big session.

    Of course, if you’re very concerned about debris in your system or you’re a complete, white-glove bottom then douching is pretty much your best option for making sure no accidents happen during anal sex.

    Here are a few of the biggest bottom no-nos!

    1. Hummus.

    CREDIT: Pixabay
    CREDIT: Pixabay

    Sorry guys but unless you wanna be farting all night it’s best to stay clear from the Chickpea favourite. Nothing kills the moment than a back end blow out!

    2. Chickpeas.

    CREDT: Pixabay
    CREDT: Pixabay

    In fact stay clear from these all together. Chickpeas – the main ingredient in Hummus is the culprit.

    3. Beans.

    CREDIT: Pixabay
    CREDIT: Pixabay

    You know the rhyme – Beans beans good for your heart the more you eat the more you fart…

    4. Fizzy drinks.

    CREDIT: Pixabay
    CREDIT: Pixabay

    Carbonated drinks will blow up your intestine like a balloon . So if you’re out drinking it’s best to stay clear from fizzy sodas for your mixers as well as beers and ales. Perhaps stick with the wine or fruit juices for your mixers. So if you don’t want a carbonated cheeky squeak – lay of the colas.

    5. Green veg.

    CREDIT: Pixabay
    CREDIT: Pixabay

    Cruciferous vegs like Cauliflower, Brussels, and Kale are known to cause the digestion system to become gassy as it can take longer for your body to digest.

    6. Oats not so good.

    CREDIT: Pixabay
    CREDIT: Pixabay

    Although oats are generally good for your digestion they are know to cause flatulence.

    7. Meats.

    moreharmony / Pixabay

    So here’s the thing meats, particular red meat sit in the stomach and intestines for ages. They take a really long time to digest – this can lead to bloating and well gas…

    8. Meds.

    Some medications can cause diarrhea. Make sure that your the pills you’re taking don’t cause the runs. Speak to your GP if you’re on prescribed meds that might cause you probs downstairs. Don’t stop taking any medications that you’ve been prescribed without talking to medical professional first.

    9. Coffee.

    CREDIT: Pixabay
    CREDIT: Pixabay

    Forget that after dinner coffee. Too much of the stuff could send you running to the loo with the runs.

    Despite what you might think, the food that you eat directly before a hot session in the bedroom, probably won’t affect your ability to bottom. However a large meal will probably make you sleepy, just think about sleepy you feel after Christmas dinner!

    So if you’re planning an all-nighter it’s best to lay off any food that will make you tired.

    Main picture by BELAMI – get your subscription here

  • Gay Dating | What does “bottom” or btm mean?

    Gay Dating | What does “bottom” or btm mean?

    Well, it could mean a variety of things to a variety of people, but generally, the “bottom” is the guy who is the receptive partner in anal sex. Although it could be a label for someone who is more sub within sex.

    So the guy who’s underneath (or on top if you’re doing the cowboy) is known as the “bottom”. The giver is known as the “Top”. Not everybody likes the terms “top” or “bottom” for some being a bottom is seen as less than, more subservient or more effeminate, but some, like Big Brother US star Ragan Fox, have empowered the word and meaning by calling themselves, “power bottoms”.

    What is a bottom or a btm?

    Otherwise, you could go with giver and givee, catcher and pitcher or just their names… (no labels!)

    Apparently, there’s quite a bit of stigma attached to being a bottom. A survey found sixty per cent of readers thought that there was or weren’t sure if there was a stigma attached to bottoming or being the receiving partner during penetrative sex.

    Only 40 per cent said no there wasn’t a stigma.

    Check out more gay dating terms.

  • This one tweet sums up everything a bottom feels when the top cancels

    This one tweet sums up everything a bottom feels when the top cancels

    Prepping takes time. It’s a dark art. It’s a f*cking ball ache. So don’t cancel.

    Bottoms of the world will surely and utterly get this tweet, which we think totally sums up that feeling when you’ve organised your Grindr hook up and then at the last minute, once you’ve done all your prepping, your top, pulls out – and not in a good way.

    We don’t know whether tops realise the effort that goes into making sure you won’t have a poop incident mid sesh or any chumber nuts when it comes to that booty call.

    [totalpoll id=”112599″]

    The thing is, most bottoms aren’t just “oven-ready” as it were – nope there’s a process and if a guy is particularly careful he may even have skipped meals for the night’s events – hell, we’ve even heard of some porn stars who don’t eat proper meals for up to two days before a shoot!

    Check out our list of foods you should definitely avoid if you’re planning to bottom.

    Bru-nO / Pixabay
    Just ice for dinner tonight….

    It’s a faff and there’s quite a bit of anxiety attached to it as well…

    There’s always the fear that you’ve not done it enough. Or you’ve done it too much (and left an entire well of water up there).

  • DILEMMA | After years of trying anal sex is still too painful

    DILEMMA | After years of trying anal sex is still too painful

    What can you do if anal sex is just too painful?

    HEY

    Why does anal sex hurt so much I’ve been having anal sex for years and still hurts to this day

    Bob

    Dear Bob,

    Your question is one that is asked often and one that has many answers. You say that you’ve been having anal sex for many years and it has continuously hurt, but I’d like to understand if this is unbearable pain or discomfort?

    Many guys who bottom will agree that there is a degree of discomfort when it comes to backdoor activities, this is pretty much normal, particularly for newbies to butt sex, but the overall pleasure experienced can often outweigh the discomfort.

    But if you are suffering unbearable pain during sex then you may need to seek medical advice from your GP – as there may be a more pressing underlying issue.

    That said there are a few things that you can try.

    Limit the length

    The Ohnut, was designed for women who suffer from endometriosis, to help limit the amount of penis that actually enters the vagina, but it can easily work for anal sex too.

    Essentially the Ohnut stops the top from entering you too far – giving you more control over how much cock you’re actually taking.

    Worn externally at the base of a penetrating partner e.g. on their shaft or on a toy, Ohnut compresses down to act as a soft buffer during sex. Each set comes with 4 linking rings that allow you to make simple adjustments, so you and your partner can not only discover comfort but also what depths feel really good for both of you.

    Lube, Lube and more lube

    It goes without saying that lube is always your friend when it comes to sex. I’m sure you’re already using lube but have you tried different types? The lube that you may be using might actually be part of the problem. Don’t just rely on the freebies that you can get from gay bars and clubs.

    There are now lubes specifically designed for anal play, which are thicker and longer-lasting. There are water, silicone and oil-based lubricants available. It might be worth exploring if any of these types make the experience more pleasurable for you. A word of warning though, oil-based lubes are not good for use with condoms.

    There’s also numbing lube, but it might not always be a good idea to use lubes that numb, read this article to find out why.

    Dilating and self play

    Have you tried self play? There are dilators – dildo kits that have a variety of sizes to help you relax the sphincter. You start off with a small insertable and as you become accustomed to the feel and feel you can go larger.

    The best bit about this is it’s all you. There’s no rush and you can take time to find out what feels right for you.

    Are you relaxed?

    (C) BIGSTOCK

    One of the biggest issues we face when having butt sex is not the actual mechanics of the butt and all its nerve endings and muscles, it’s actually your mind.

    Are you in a relaxed state? Are you anxious when having sex? Is the sex you’re having, actually the sex you want?

    Only you can answer these questions, but having a think about your mind frame when having sex might lead you to some answers surrounding your discomfort.

    Always remember if sex is just too painful and you want it to stop, then make sure your partner knows and hears you. It’s your body and you don’t have to continue if you don’t want to.

    Have you got a dilemma you’d like to share? Click here to speak to our agony uncle.

  • This is apparently the hardest thing about being a bottom in gay porn

    This is apparently the hardest thing about being a bottom in gay porn

    (C) BIGSTOCK

    Speaking on the latest Himeros podcast gay porn star Alex Faux revealed what he thinks is the hardest thing about being a bottom in gay porn.

    Speaking with the studio’s creator, Davey Wavey, about the issue confidence, both body and mind, and whether taking part in porn was empowering, Alex revealed,

    “I can work with people that I’m not necessarily attracted to or they’re gay for pay, but that for me is the hardest part in porn, especially as a bottom, which is about 99% of what I do.

    But he said, the worst bit was “When your in a scene with a partner who isn’t gay, or who isn’t into you, that for me is one of the struggles in porn, because it breaks down the reason I did it.

    “I’m back to square one where I’m like, ‘shit, am I not good enough?’

    https://twitter.com/AlexFauxXXX/status/1202723667857289216

    However, Alex was quick to reassure listeners that most of the porn that he has been “really empowering”.

    Checkout the Himeros website, which is pledging to change gay porn for the better! Check out Alex on his OnlyFans site, onlyfans.com/fauxwinter

  • DILEMMA | My boyfriend has a penis that curves downwards

    DILEMMA | My boyfriend has a penis that curves downwards

    This week, a reader asks what positions are best for bottoming when your partner’s penis has a downward curve to it.

    DEAR TGUK,

    Hi, my boyfriend has a major downward curve in his penis, like a banana. He’s had it forever. It’s also big 6-7” long and a 6-7 girth.

    I’m crazy about him but it’s difficult to bottom.

    We can only really get it in when we doggy with my ass up, or laying on my back if he picked up my waist.

    When On my back I can’t really feel anything.

    Can you recommend some positions that are suitable?

    Many guys have curved penises, although typically the curve is upwards or to the side, a downward curve is still, however, completely normal.

    However, you will need to try out different positions to make penetrative sex work for both of you.

    The reason why you say you’re not feeling anything when you’re on your back is that your prostate, the gland that makes bottoming irresistible to some, is on the inner side of your rectum wall. If your partner’s dick is straight or curves upwards, the standard missionary position means that the shape naturally rubs up against the prostate which is packed full of nerve endings. If your boyfriend’s dick is probing the other way, in this position he’ll be missing all the feel-good points.

    CREDIT: ©-blueringmedia-Depositphotos

    This means if you reverse positions they may actually feel better for you.

    Many guys find there’s a certain amount of flexibility when it comes to their erections, however, it’s important not to force the erect penis into any position which is uncomfortable, because you can actually snap an erect penis!

    Reverse cowboy

    With you sitting and straddling his lap, but facing away from his face, so your torso is pointing towards his feet. Your feet can go behind you or in front, whichever is more comfortable,

    This position can work with him lying on the bed or sitting in a chair.

    Reverse low cowboy

    The top lies on his back, the bottom straddles on top with his head and torso pointing towards his partner’s feet. His ass points towards his partner’s head, with hips pointing slightly down. This way will give your top an amazing view of his dick entering you. Bonus!

    Reverse Doggy

    You are in the normal doggy position, with your butt in the air, but your top enters from above, crouching above you, with his feet either side of your hips, facing back. He then dips his dick in your ass.

    Reverse sleeper

    The bottom lies on his front and the top lies on top of him but with his feet near the bottom’s head.

    So face to face positions might work as long as you can tip your hips in a way that will help his penis make contact with your g-spot.

    The great thing is that you have all the time in the world to experiment and take time to find out what feels great for the both of you. Have fun together.

    Have you got a dilemma you need help with? Click here to get in touch.

  • “Total Bottom” reveals what happened to him when he accidentally topped

    “Total Bottom” reveals what happened to him when he accidentally topped

    A “total bottom” explained that his world didn’t end when his hook up pulled a simple trick move.

    In a world of labels, how absolute are the labels top and bottom? Well, one “total bottom” on Reddit revealed that he actually had a great time when the roles were unexpectedly reversed when his hook up switched things up.

    User HardTomHardy, who considers himself an exclusive bottom, who said that he’s submissive and a bit “kinky”, described a “good shock” when his hook up shook up the bedroom antics after returning from the bathroom for a second round.

    HardTomHardy wrote that the second time around, his hook up tied his hands together and blindfolded him and was getting down to some oral business when “the next thing I feel is the tightest grip ever-expanding down the length of my shaft. It took me a second to realize that I was in him and I loved it. He took the blindfold and f*cked himself on my dick like a pro.”

    “Honestly, it blew my mind”

    (C) BIGSTOCK

    He went on to explain, “I didn’t have to do anything except when the orgasm him I bucked into him uncontrollably. Honestly, it blew my mind. I never thought I would get to feel this, that my dick would bring me and someone else to orgasm.”

    He was quick to add, “And before people say he violated me, nope don’t even go there. If I had said to stop he would. And no his ass is not self-lubricated. He prepped himself in the bathroom and used a small buttplug“.

    Users responded, on the whole, positively to the story, with one adding, “It’s largely psychological, IMO. A healthy, functioning dick will respond to the right stimulation, as long as you don’t let your mind get in the way”, while another wrote, “I’ve always felt that guys who pigeonhole themselves into only one position or the other just haven’t been with the right partner. Versatility is the spice of life”.

    Another encouraged, “Maybe from here on out your [sic] Vers. Sounds like you loved being inside him so why stop?”