Dating apps like Grindr are basically an integral part of the gay dating world. It’s the source we love to hate when looking for a hookup or love online.
Hello hello hello… hi hi hi.
Dear god man, take the hint stop message me I don’t want to talk.
Torso is the window to your stomach
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Look if you can’t show your face, I have to question whether I can be seen with you. Come on, it’s 2020 come out and show your face.
Otter looking for love
I’m an Otter looking for a bear… I’m a Chicken looking for a pug… On some dating apps you might feel like you’re in Animal Farm, or being put in a tiny box defined by the amount of body hair you have.
3 ft away.
This man is currently behind you, wearing a mask and asking whether you like scary movies. Honestly though I love seeing how far away I can run away from you…
Call Me Maybe Not
Those pesky pesky men who say they’re up for a relationship and then refuse to call… Those shady shady rag stains.
Fancy a shag?
Apps are an amazing way to get your end away and quickly…
Trades Descriptions.
That photo you’ve been using for the last 50 years is not fooling anyone.
Time Goes By So Slowly…
Often gay dating apps go on photo browsing alone and it can be so time-consuming as you scroll through 100s of men. A bit like the Tupperware catalogue, but with more plastic. Wouldn’t it be better for the app to work out who is going to be a good fit before showing you a bunch of people?
Better Leave Right Now.
Whatever happened to being able to just chat with someone and get to know him? Bring back the days of getting to know someone over hours of chats where you find out people are more like onions with layers rather than just bananas.
Premium.
Nobody is impressed with the fact that you have a premium account; in fact we’re actually thinking “you tosser”.
It’s been well over 100 days since the UK went into lockdown at the end of March and its citizens were heavily restricted in order to “flatten the curve” of the Coronavirus.
But as these restrictions are slowly lifted and certain elements of lockdown have been eased or removed, we ask, what does the government say about meeting with people for sex – especially when it comes to Grindr or dating hookups?
Of course, the government doesn’t specifically mention hook up apps or whether you can meet with someone for specifically for the purposes of sex, however, it has outlined its guidelines when it comes to inviting people from other households into your own.
Can I invite someone over from Grindr, Jack’d, Hornet or Scuff?
There’s no overriding rule for the UK, each of the four nations, England, Northern Ireland, Scotland and Wales all have their own regulations and rules when it’s come to their coronavirus response.
In England, you can have someone from a different household enter your home. The government advises against socialising in groups of more than two households. This means you could have a hook up with someone, the question is, should you? That is up to you in the end.
The government does recommend physical distancing and good hygiene practices. You may not stay overnight at someone’s house unless they are part of your “bubble”.
In Scotland, you can meet up with 2 other households at a time in your own home. However, the Scottish government is warning people to maintain a physical distance of 2 metres “at all times”.
In Wales, two or more households can become an “extended household” which allows them to “have physical contact and stay in each other’s homes.” The Welsh government says that all other households have to meet outdoors.
In Northern Ireland, since the 23rd June meetings of up to six people have been permitted. However, the government in Northern Ireland suggest limiting the duration of the visits, ensuring good ventilation, maintaining good hand hygiene and physical distancing where possible. Overnight stays are not permitted.
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Remember, Covid-19 is still prevalent in the UK and it highly transmittable.
Back in March our Agony Uncle, said that if people were going to continue to hook up that it would be a good opportunity to talk to partners about their health and their safety.
He wrote, “I think coronavirus could be a good engine for change or adaptation for our community. It might invite us to start talking more openly about our sexual health, testing and well-being in general and there’s no harm in having a conversation with someone about their health before you hook up.
“The more we talk about these things, hopefully, the less stigma there is attached to our health”.
It’d also be wise to make sure you have the contact details of any of that you do have sex with, in order to help with any tracking or tracing, in case you or they become infected with Covid-19.
Not exactly, unfortunately, many of the UK’s sexual health services are not open to bookings for regular sexual health checkups – but to a phone triage service.
Back in May, Doctor Naomi Sutton took to Twitter to remind followers that the NHS sexual services were still available and that anyone who needed them should phone their usual sexual health clinic and access the current phone consulting services being offered.
She told us, “Sexual health services are operating phone consultations, posting contraception, screening tests and medication when needed and seeing patients face to face where necessary”
I do it every Christmas period. For some unbeknown reason, usually around Boxing Day, I decide it might be a good idea to go in search of a husband. I don’t know what comes over me. It must be the excessive plonk consumed over the festive period.
Or, on a more serious note, it could be the fact that Christmas makes me feel all loved up and warm and fuzzy inside. And gives me the notion that it might actually be nice to fall in love after all.
Although I must confess I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be in requited love. Without wanting anybody to crack out the violins, it has been more years than I care to remember.
iPhone at the ready… Plenty OF Fish downloaded… And snap.
So, there I was on Boxing Day night, staring at the present-less Christmas tree, clutching a bottle of Single Malt Scotch Whiskey. Yes, I know it’s rare for anything other than New Zealand savvy B to pass my lips but I do like to treat myself from time to time.
After my third large Scotch, I stood up determinedly and declared to myself that I would find a husband. Dramatically pressing the buttons on my iPhone, I downloaded Plenty of Fish.
Obviously, I picked my best photographs and kept my profile simple.
“Love to laugh, love to have fun. Love the theatre, the beach, swimming, reading and writing. And I love men!”
Within minutes, a lovely looking chap called Matthew pops up in my inbox. Yes, I know, I just used the word CHAP. I’m clearly getting old. I even used the word DISCO when describing a CLUB the other day.
Anyway, back to Matthew who seemed rather forward.
“Let’s video chat”, he insisted.
Okay, I thought. At least I’ll get to see him in the flesh and it will give me a glimpse of his true personality. It’s so easy to hide behind a keyboard.
As I pressed accept on the video chat, I saw that he was topless. I was in a two-piece pyjama set but each to their own.
The call starts off with small talk and then he pans down his pecs and six-pack. What a body, I think to myself.
And then he comes to his piece de resistance. I see him clutching his fully erect manhood, rather seductively. Now, I’m no prude but in my naivety, I truly believed this video call was to be an initial test to judge our compatibility.
“Watch me wank!” He bellows through the iPhone screen at me.
Being the ever-accommodating gay boy, I oblige. But after his voyeurism, I never hear from Matthew again and I notice that he’s blocked me. Bastard.
Never mind, an extremely cute bloke called Louie pops up into my inbox to distract my attention away from being dumped by Matthew.
Within seconds, I notice that Louie is probably not looking for a relationship. His profile classes him as straight and looking for a woman. What is it with Plenty of Fish and straight men chasing the homos?
Well, Louie was beautiful and willing, so who am I to turn down a chat, gay or not? He started the proceedings.
“Do you want me to wank for you Sir? I’m so horny Daddy. Can I call you Daddy?”
Being an ex-holiday park entertainer, I’m not one to turn down the chance to partake in performing arts.
“Yes, you can call me Daddy. And you better respect me”, I typed sniggering.
“Okay. Tell me what you want me to do Master Daddy.”
In the meantime, I see another supposedly straight man arrive in my inbox. Terry. He wants me to make a video for him. And he’s certainly precise in his direction. Eat your heart out Stephen Spielberg.
“Have your legs over your shoulders with your wet fingers running over your juicy hole.”
Not being an acrobat, I feared I may have problems in obliging. And being a writer, I’m not opposed to engaging in a bit of naughty talk. But I draw the line at dirty videos. You never know when they might come back to bite you on the bum. Pun intended.
This time I took a leaf out of Matthew’s book and made use of the block feature of the app.
And then, just as I was about to give up, my fortunes changed. An ‘actual’ gay man sent me a message. Darren. And he asks for no dirty talk or sexually explicit videos. He engages in purely decent conversation, obviously on a quest to find love.
We spend a few days sending endless messages to each other. It was going so well. We’d even started to arrange a first date.
He happens to ask me what I’m giving up for Lent. I inform him that I’m giving up swearing.
“Is your swearing really that bad?” He asks me.
“I’d be lying if I said the C U Next Tuesday word doesn’t often leave my lips. Back off now if you’re easily offended.”
And then Darren showed me that he’s also capable of making use of the block button. What a C…
Does social distancing also mean hookups? What about hooking up and having sex during the current situation, particularly if you’re living with HIV?
Firstly we asked Doctor Earim Chaudry, the Medical Director at Manual, who told us that Covid-19 isn’t sexually transmitted, but the virus can still be transmitted by direct contact between two people, particularly through droplets from coughs and sneezes – it goes without saying, if you’re swapping saliva you’re at risk if the other person is positive for Covid-19.
We also asked, leading HIV awareness activist, Philip Baldwin who told THEGAYUK.com, that there is no evidence to suggest that “HIV positive people are more vulnerable to Covid-19” or that people living with HIV would be more severely affected.
However, he added, “HIV positive people, LGBTQ people and the population, in general, should aim to follow the Government’s guidance on social distancing and self-isolation.”
He continued,
“As we are not even supposed to be sitting or standing next to each other in restaurants or bars, I think it is a struggle to interpret the guidance as not prohibiting hooking up! However, the Government has currently only issued guidance. I suggest you follow it, for your own safety and that of others, but (at the moment) no laws have been passed to enforce it.
“It is therefore not illegal to hook up with people. This could change. It could be the case that, as in other parts of the world, legislation will be passed enforcing curfews in the UK.
“I urge you not to switch on your dating apps and start hooking up”
Philip went on to say, “It has to be noted that human beings are social creatures. We were not made to be stuck indoors for days, let alone months. Especially alone.
“Sometimes we all crave intimacy or escapism, particularly in times of fear. However, I urge you not to switch on your dating apps and start hooking up. Society as a whole, including the LGBTQ community, needs to observe the emergency health measures.”
If you’re living with HIV and you are concerned about the ability to get HIV medications during the current Covid-19 outbreak we’ve got some reassuring news for you. Click here to find out more
If you’re looking for a quickie or even some picture swapping there are plenty of apps out there where gay and bi guys can hook up, but what if you want something deeper (get your mind out of the gutter).
This was a question recently posed on Reddit and it got people questioning where they could get a good date rather than a quick session of “fun”.
Back in 2015 our columnist Scott Sammons tested out all the major dating apps to find out which offered the best services and dating opportunities.
For dating opportunities he recommended Tinder, saying that the app was “designed to “match” people based on their personalities and likes/dislikes”. The app asks users to fill out a survey and then based on those results shows you profiles of guys you’re likely to want to date.
Sammons also added, “there are very little opportunities to declare your sexual preferences or put on your profile that you’re horny”. So if you’re after dates than quick hookups this might be a solution.
He also suggested Gaydar and Plenty Of Fish as alternatives to the likes of Grindr, Hornet and Jack’d.
Otherwise, users on Reddit suggested OKCupid, with one user admitting that he had had a lot of “success on the platform”.
So what’s the best way of meeting someone new?
Readers on our Facebook page, however, were less hopefully when we asked the question about the best dating app – not for hookups.
One user wrote, “All of them are hook up sites” while another added, “It would be nice if there WAS one you could actually connect & chat rather than just sex…..but I don’t see it happening lol”
Back in 2018, we asked our readers whether they had found love on a dating up. Thirty-six per cent said that they had found love and were still together, while 39 per cent said that they used them only for short-term relationships or hookups.
Valentine’s day is fast approaching and for many of us, the question about where to go with our date still looms. From romantic dinners to hiking, the options are never-ending. But what is the perfect date?
Farawayfurtniture.com were keen to find the answers and surveyed 1,546 people, asking them to rate each date activity out of 10 (10 being very good and 0 being very bad).
Drinks, came on top as the best activity to do on a first date, according to 38% of respondents. One respondent stated that having an alcoholic beverage on a date, made them “more talkative and social.”
Attend a comedy night, was surprisingly rated the second-best date. A whopping 36% said this would be their favourite activity.
The third best-rated date was, in fact, a walk, according to 35% of respondents. On a budget? No problem- just take your date on a walk!
Farawyafurtniture.com revealed that the typical dinner date, is NOT the most favoured activity- despite popular opinion.
One respondent commented saying dinner dates were “too formal and often awkward.”
Instead, people rated active and fun activities much higher.
Furthermore, the experts revealed that people would rather go to a museum (25%) than a theme park (13%).
To delve deeper, the experts analysed the different activities different age groups preferred. The results found that…
People in their 20s do not want to go for drinks! Only 42% of respondents rated this the best idea, in comparison to over half of the respondents arguing mini-golf was the best activity (51%).
Say no to picnics…
Finally, if your date is in their 20s, avoid picnics and museums.
Having a picnic and visiting a museum were the worst-rated ideas by people in their 20s.
People in their 30-40s, were the only age group, that rated dinner and drinks the best first date. Surprisingly, no other age group rated drinks and dinner the best activity.
People aged between 40-50, seem to love their comedy nights, with 40% rating this the best first date.
People aged in their 50-60s appear to keep things simple, with a walk being the best first date.
This was closely followed by a comedy night. Make sure to avoid theme parks and bowling though- these ideas were rated the worst by people in their 50-60s.
It seems as though rude to staff on a date is the biggest turn off on dates, coupled with double-dipping and talking politics.
A brand-new year is here the corner meaning a fresh start in the dating pool and 365 days to go on some, hopefully, successful dates. In the hopes of helping people secure their second date, Chewsygum.com decided to see what bad habits people want their dates to leave at home. They did a survey asking 1,283 people about things they hate their dates doing most, after finding the top 13 habits they asked whether their date would score a second date.
Are you a bad date?
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Chewsy found that only 32% of their participants think going for dinner is an ideal first date. If you have a dinner date on the cards, then here are some things to avoid doing if you want to secure a second date.
Bad Habits
Percentage of people who wouldn’t go on a second date
Being impolite to waiting staff
94%
Bad table manners
91%
Loud / open mouth chewing
88%
Talking about yourself the whole time
82%
Going on your phone
76%
Getting drunk
67%
Talking about an ex
63%
Ordering food for you
53%
Start eating before your food arrives
52%
Attempting to be intimate
48%
Stealing food from their plate
35%
Double dipping
25%
Putting elbows on the table
9%
Unsurprisingly being impolite to waiting staff is the biggest offence you can commit on a date with nearly all participants saying they wouldn’t go on a second date, bad table manners and loud / open mouth chewing also made the top 3. Double dipping, innocent to you but not your date. 1 in 4 people said they wouldn’t go on a second date if they witnessed their date double dip. If you tend to overdrink during dates, you have a better chance of scoring a second date compared to people who go on their phone during dates (by 9% to be precise).
When asked “what’s the worst thing someone could ask?” you on a first date people said anything relating to how much money you make, invasive questions about family and their finances.
Ask the right questions
CREDIT: mast3r-bigstock
Chewsy flipped the question and asked people “what’s the best questions someone could ask you?” most answered centred around being asked about their dreams, interests favourite kind of music and hobbies. There was a consensus to keep things light and entertaining on the first date. However, some answers steered away from the usual questions the best one being “how much should I send to your bank account?
Lay off the burritos
Participants were also asked “what foods are a no go on a date / what foods do they tend to avoid?” and the most popular answers were: burritos, burgers, seafood of any kind, anything that is saucy and heavy with garlic.
I recently went on a date with this gorgeous guy I met on Grindr. We decided to meet up and went to a gay bar in town.
Things, I thought were going really well. There was definitely chemistry between us, but when I came back from the loos, I found him snogging the guy at the next table along.
I made my excuses soon after and left.
Later on that evening he texted to see what was up and why I left in such a hurry.
He’s just so good looking and friendly and our WhatsApp chats are so good. I just don’t know if I should give him a second chance.
What should I do?
Tom
Tom,
Delete his number from your phone and move on. There are so many other available guys out there for you to meet so I wouldn’t get so hung on this one, particularly as it seems he wasn’t so hung up on you.
Is there really any point in trying to salvage something that wasn’t really there in the first place?
What you had was a digital relationship which didn’t translate in the real world.
This happens, so don’t beat yourself up about that. It’s not your fault.
They say everything is about first impressions – that’s not just the first 10 seconds of your date, but the entire first date. The guy snogged someone else. What kind of impression does that give you about him?
Don’t beat yourself up and don’t spend another minute thinking about him. Mr Right is out there.
If you’ve got a dilemma you’d like us to answer, click here
As the nights draw in a brand new Cuffing Season is upon us, but what exactly is “Cuffing Season”.
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Seventy Thirty‘s team looked at today’s dating terms and let us know what cuffing is and who’s doing it.
Cuffing season; refers to the winter months, when people who are usually happily single start to seek a committed relationship.
With the days getting shorter and the nights longer, the temperature dropping and the trees becoming bare, it’s the perfect time for cosy nights in with your loved one, building a relationship. It is the optimal time of year for past partners to creep up on you, too.
If an ex-partner is single, they might try to come back you to spend these cosy nights in with you.
Clinical psychologist Seth Meyers explains that “our energy levels are lower during the colder weather and we are moodier’” so we have less motivation to organise interesting dates.
This, coupled with poor winter weather, means we have fewer places to go and things to do. This makes us seek out an easier option, such as a past partner.
Your profile picture is the first thing that other members will see of you, so take some time to get it right. We’ve put together some tips on what works and what doesn’t work for the perfect profile picture.
It goes without saying that your profile picture should be of you. We’re not fond of catfishing, fraud or just pictures of cartoon characters. You’re a real person, so a real picture of you is best.
Remember what they say first impressions can last a lifetime so make sure, when you’re choosing yours, that it reflects exactly how you want to portray yourself.
So here are our top tips:
Recent photos
Make sure your profile picture is recent. We’ve all heard the stories of people turning up to dates only to discover that the person they meet is a good ten years older than their profile photo. It’s a bit like trades description. People want to know who they are meeting – a trustworthy and honest person will have an up-to-date, recent picture of themselves. It’ll also help identify you if you guys actually meet in real life.
Just you and only you
Don’t crowd the picture with other people. We can assume that you have friends. You don’t need to show us – after all, we’re interested in meeting just you, to begin with… not your friends. If you want to add pictures with family, friends, pets etc add them to your private galleries.
