I'm 3ft away...

Dating apps like Grindr are basically an integral part of the gay dating world. It’s the source we love to hate when looking for a hookup or love online.

Grindr Fails

Hello hello hello… hi hi hi.

Grindr hi hi hi

Dear god man, take the hint stop message me I don’t want to talk.

Torso is the window to your stomach


Look if you can’t show your face, I have to question whether I can be seen with you. Come on, it’s 2020 come out and show your face.

Otter looking for love

Grindr Fails

I’m an Otter looking for a bear… I’m a Chicken looking for a pug… On some dating apps you might feel like you’re in Animal Farm, or being put in a tiny box defined by the amount of body hair you have.

3 ft away.

This man is currently behind you, wearing a mask and asking whether you like scary movies. Honestly though I love seeing how far away I can run away from you…

Call Me Maybe Not

Those pesky pesky men who say they’re up for a relationship and then refuse to call… Those shady shady rag stains.

Fancy a shag?

Grindr Fails

Apps are an amazing way to get your end away and quickly…

Trades Descriptions.

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That photo you’ve been using for the last 50 years is not fooling anyone.


Time Goes By So Slowly…


Often gay dating apps go on photo browsing alone and it can be so time-consuming as you scroll through 100s of men. A bit like the Tupperware catalogue, but with more plastic. Wouldn’t it be better for the app to work out who is going to be a good fit before showing you a bunch of people?

Better Leave Right Now.

Whatever happened to being able to just chat with someone and get to know him? Bring back the days of getting to know someone over hours of chats where you find out people are more like onions with layers rather than just bananas.

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Nobody is impressed with the fact that you have a premium account; in fact we’re actually thinking “you tosser”.

This article was originally published in Nov 2015

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