Tag: Sex Advice

The last word in sex advice for the gay community. If you’ve got a sexual or emotional problem our team of experts are on hand to help you out.

Is it safe to use a banana as a sex toy?

Ever wondered whether it was safe to use a banana in the bedroom?

It might seem like a no brainer – after all banana are a bit penisy – and are cheap as, well bananas but they might not actually be the best thing to use as a sex toy.

There are two main issues. One they are very squishy once out of their skins – I wouldn’t recommend using a banana with its skin still on, because the ends are quite rough and could cause internal damage.

Secondly, bananas don’t have a flared end, like dildos and butt plugs, which means if you lose your grip you’re going to have to poop it out, or maybe even mush it out. Which might be your thing, but probably won’t feel great.

What’s more, if you end up having trouble passing it, you could end up in casualty, which let’s face it is not the best way to spend a Sunday morning.

Sex and Fruit

silviarita / Pixabay

Using fruit and veg could be a great way to excite and reignite your sex life though. Using soft fleshy, non-acidic fruit such as honeydew melons or watermelons can be an exciting way to get new sensations. Simply put a hole in it and thrusting in and out will provide interesting brand new feelings.

Alternatively, you can always use other foodstuffs such as chocolate spreads or even Marmite, who recently brought out body paint.

Caution must be used when inserting anything into your butt that doesn’t have a handle or gives a good grip. People have ended up in A&E after failing to retrieve a cucumber, banana or carrot that’s gotten lodged in their rectums. Anything that gets stuck up your butt will be a painful experience that can actually lead to death if left untreated. We would urge anyone who has gotten anything stuck up there to seek medical advice immediately, no matter how embarrassed you feel.

Oh did I say use lots of lube…>

Alternatives?

via GIPHY

If you’re looking to insert something of a edible variety, why not try a lollipop or ice cubes, which will melt.

It’s best to use toys that are actually designed for insertion, such as dildos and vibrators. Don’t forget if you’re using toys together and share them, to use a fresh condom before using it on your partner, and wash them properly after use.

If you are going to insert a carrot, gherkin, cucumber or banana, make sure you’re relaxed. Some of these veg can be much larger than a penis, so using lots of lube and taking your time is a must.

11th September 2019
Want better sex? Try these incredible foods to boost your sex

Adding food to the bedroom is a classic way to spice things up with a partner. But did you know that food can heighten libido and improve your performance between the sheets? We-Vibe has collated the best foodie tricks and tips for you to put to the (taste) test!

– Figs: These small fruits pack some big benefits. They are bursting with calcium, iron, potassium, and more of that stimulating zinc. They are also packed with fibre, which boosts heart health and satisfies hunger without adding to your waistline.

– Strawberries: Don’t forget to bring this mouth-watering dessert on your next picnic. Strawberries are an excellent source of vitamin B, which has been linked to high sperm counts in men. Go one step further and coat them in chocolate, as it is full of libido-boosting methylxanthines! (Why do you think it’s such a popular Valentine’s Day gift?!)

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-Almonds: These healthy nuts are said to act as a sexual stimulant and a fertility aid, so if you’re trying for a baby, start snacking! They are rich in nutrients and in several minerals that are important for sexual health and reproduction, including zinc, selenium, and vitamin E. Zinc can also help enhance sexual desire – added bonus!

-Avocados: The name for this South American fruit derives from the Aztec language Nahuatl, in which it meant ‘testicle’ – a name chosen for the fruit’s unusual shape. It may seem like a bit of a stretch to us, but avocados do have some sexy benefits! They are rich in unsaturated fats, making them very heart-healthy. And a healthy heart keeps the blood flowing to all the right places! Men with underlying heart disease are twice as likely to suffer from erectile dysfunction, so feel free to add some extra avocado slices to your salads.

-Eggs: Poached, scrambled or fried, eggs are sure to rev you up after a long day at work. They are full of protein, which keeps you going without packing on the calories. They’re also an excellent source of amino acids, which combat certain types of heart ailments as well as erectile dysfunction. There’s a reason Dean Martin likes his eggs with a kiss in the morning…

25th May 2019
5 things you definitely need to do if you’re planning on a One Night Stand

For those of you who read my last article, you’ll remember that I said the main thing to remember whilst dating, is, to tell the truth, and be totally honest. Well, this piece boasts the complete opposite!

5 things you definitely need to do if you’re planning on a One Night Stand

When it comes to the traditional one night stand, or having sex with strangers, none of the honesty or rules of chivalry applies! In fact, you probably stand a better chance of pulling, if you employ full use of your carefree attitude. So guys, when you’re getting ready to go out tonight, make sure the last thing you put on, is your shagger swagger!

The beauty of having sex with a stranger is that it can be completely anonymous, and string free. The best part of a relationship, with the added bonus, that it only lasts one night! For those of you that have never slept with a stranger, are you starting to see the appeal yet?

My advice is to completely invent yourself a pseudonym, build up a whole alter ego, do whatever you like, be whoever you like and do it with whoever you want to do it with! You have to make sure though, that when you’re building up your night-time image, that you have to remember your story! Stick to the lies, you’ll thank me in the morning – never let your secret slip!

Experiment, it’s always fun to try new things! If one nighters aren’t your thing, then honey, pick up your Bible and tighten up your chastity belt, this clearly isn’t the year for you! If you’re thinking of trying it out, then do it – don’t think too much, you might change your mind! If you’re a more seasoned bed hopper though, why not embrace your adventurous side – my motto – if it’s comfortable and slow – you just aren’t doing it right!

In my experience, it’s for the best that you Never Swap Numbers, once you do, you run the risk of (a) if you rocked his world, gaining a stalker (b) having to admit you lied and (c) making awkward conversation because you’re too nice to tell him to leave you alone! If you don’t feel comfortable saying no to giving him your number, and can’t make one up off the top of your head – take his, tell him your phone is dead and discard on the way home!

When sleeping with strangers, it’s a good idea to make sure you watch your level of Intoxication, you don’t want to be so drunk you end up waking up face down in a ditch, with your trousers around your ankles, and all of your possessions gone with the stars! I am going to say though you don’t want to be sober either; you just won’t enjoy yourself if you are! Get yourself to that merry state, and voilà, you’re in for a night filled with filth.

And, as ever, we at THEGAYUK always promote Safer Sex, you can never be too careful! We know that in the heat of the moment, taking the time to roll down your condom is possibly the last thing on your list, but you have to be responsible!

I hope you enjoy your night, have fun, go wild but most importantly, think P.E.N.I.S. – Pseudonym, Experiment, Never Swap Numbers, Intoxication and Safer Sex.

As I always say, don’t be a fool – wrap that tool! If you need any advice, or for more information on sexual health visit: http://www.gmfa.org.uk/sex/ better to be safe, than sorry!

Want to meet some guys? Join our very own free social/dating network.

This article was first published in July 2012

9th May 2019
The Rules of Rough Sex

This week, columnist Scott Sammons gives us a rundown of rule for rough sex.

This article is NSFW, please click here to confirm you are over 18.

21st April 2019
Want to up your orgasm game? You need to try these four exercise types

From our partners at GayFitnessUK: Our eternal search for an orgasm is important to us both as individuals and as a society. So we’re here to help you get the best orgasm you possibly can.

Luckily there’s been plenty of research into the topic of how to get more bang for your buck!

1. Strong abs = a strong orgasm

(C) BIGSTOCK

Not only will a great set of abs make you more likely to have sex, but they’ll also make you have better sex. In fact, extreme core workouts have even been known to lead to spontaneous orgasms in the gym (although mostly with women) and working your core to the point of fatigue is a great way to get all those nerve endings firing “down there”.

2. Boost your testosterone

CREDIT: Dean-Drobot-bigstock

It’s no surprise that higher testosterone levels increase your chance of achieving an orgasm, it is the sex hormone after all. So if you’re planning a sexy encounter, then head to the gym and smash out some high-intensity interval training, or lift a load of heavy, manly weights. Compound moves like the bench press or deadlifts have been shown to increase T-levels, and according to researchers at Athens’ Military Hospital in Greece, the more testosterone a man has in his bloodstream, the better his chances of achieving orgasm.

3. Yoga and meditation

man doing yoga asanas in the park on the hill at sunny day in the summer

If you’ve ever been to a sex therapist or read one of their blogs, the key to achieving a full-bodied orgasm is through controlled breathing. Deep regular breaths allow for prolonged lovemaking and a more satisfying orgasm, whereas short rapid breathing tends to increase excitement and push you “over the edge”. Slow and controlled exercise like a yoga class will instil in you the importance of deep breathing and connecting your breath to the movement.

Which would you prefer, a short, panting pounding, or slow, deep thrusts?

4.Kegel exercises

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You’ve heard of these right? You can do your kegals whenever wherever you are. I’m doing mine right now. The pubococcygeal (PC) muscle is at the floor of your pelvis and controls both your urination flow and the spasms during climax. Squeezing as if you were holding back your pee will help to develop your PC power. Try and do 20 squeezes, three times a day.

First published on GayFitnessUK

14th March 2019
Is it safe to use a cucumber for sex without a condom?

Some veggies can make for great and super cheap sex toys…

If you are using a piece of veg and you’re by yourself, it is most likely to be safe without using a condom, with a few provisos.

Make sure you wash that thing (let’s call it a vegtoy) good and proper. You don’t want to be putting whatever is on the skin of your vegtoy – like insecticides, bacteria from other people’s hands who have touched it first and well, general dirt from the ground that might be left on the veg.

Once you’ve washed it you’re good to go, after you check that there are no hard edges or pieces that likely to come off.

NjoyHarmony / Pixabay

However, if you’re using it with another person – and you’re sharing the vegtoy, then you should, as with any insertable toy you use in anal play, use a condom. One, it helps protect you from sharing any infections the other person may have but, two, it also helps with keeping the toy clean from, well, let’s face it poop if you’re anally inserting.

Much bigger than you think

zhivko / Pixabay

Just remember veggies are often much harder and bigger than you think. In all likelihood If you actually saw a penis the size of a Sainsbury’s organic cucumber, you might run from the room screaming, (although we do like a challenge).

So take it slow and use lube.

Another thing to consider is that as certain veg warms up (with your body warmth), a cucumber and definitely a banana will become a bit mushy. If it breaks apart you might have trouble retrieving parts from inside you. If this happens, don’t stress. Smaller parts will eventually come out if you let nature take its course.

A word of warning: Extreme caution must be used when inserting anything into your butt that doesn’t have a handle, a flared base or gives good grip. Many people have ended up in A&E after failing to retrieve a cucumber, banana or carrot lodged in their rectums. A painful experience that can actually lead to death if left untreated.

We would urge anyone who has gotten anything stuck up there to seek medical advice immediately, no matter how embarrassed you feel.

Most if not all dildos come with a flared base. If you’re looking for an inexpensive dildo, check out the range of dildos at THEGAYSHOP.

It’s best to use implements that are actually designed for insertion, such as dildos and vibrators.

If you are going to insert a carrot, gherkin, cucumber or banana, make sure you’re relaxed. Some of these veg can be much larger than a penis, so using lots of lube and taking your time is a must. Oh did I say use lots of lube… There are a few types, Water-based, Silicone and even numbing.

Using food for sex

vanessaives / Pixabay

Using fruit and veg could be a great way to excite and reignite your sex life. Using soft fleshy, non-acidic fruit such as honeydew melons or watermelons can be an exciting way to get new sensations. Simply put a hole in it and thrusting in and out will provide interesting brand new feelings.

Have you ever tried “the peach” as made famous in Call Me By Your Name? We’ve put together seven sex scenes from the movies you can try at home.

Alternatively, you can always use other foodstuffs such as chocolate spreads or even Marmite, who recently brought out body paint.

Oh did I say use lots of lube…

If you’re looking to insert food, why not try a lollipop or ice cubes, which will melt. Use the ones that you can make yourself with a plastic stick. Store-bought lollipops might have a wood stick, which could leave splinters inside you. Ouch!

Whatever you’re doing, be creative and have fun!

9th February 2019
How to give a really good handjob

Not every sexual encounter needs to end up in P in A or even a blowjob, behold the simple handjob.

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It’s super quick and easy, and what’s more, you really don’t need any preparation to give each other a handy shandy. What’s more, it’s one of the safest forms of sexual activity.

Technique. What feels good to you, might not feel good to the other person. So listen for signs that it’s all going well. If in doubt ask. You don’t have to be silent during sex.

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Position. You know what, jerking someone else off can be a tiring experience, especially if they take a while to climax. So if you’re lying side by side, make sure the person receiving is on your dominant side, so right-hand side if you’re right-handed, or left-hand side if you’re left-handed. But why not forgo the side by side action and slip in behind them and reach around to their front. This position can be done standing, sitting or kneeling behind the person. To add a little more intensity add a bit of reach around kissing. Hot AF.

Face to Face. To add extra intensity, stand, knee or sit face to face and look into each other’s eyes as you beat the jerky. Having a front view can give you all the telltale signs that someone’s close to orgasm and you get to look at goodies. Win-win really.

Out and about? Half the fun is that the handjob can take place almost anywhere. Now we’re not advocating anything illegal, but maybe a surprise handjob the next time you’re out for a ramble on the moors – might just be the ticket.

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Double-handed. This goes hand in hand with technique really. Placing both hands over someone’s genitals can add double the pleasure and give a different feeling to the fist on helmet action. Plus if the person you’re with has bollocks, then cradle those bad boys, and give ’em a stroke.

Change the routine You know, not every handjob has to be a fist around a cock. Have you tried simple head rubbing? Take your thumb and rub in circular motions on the back of the head of the penis (not on the helmet). It’s a great way of slowing things down and changing the tempo. He’ll be squirming with joy.

Different equipment requires different technique. If your subject hasn’t got a foreskin, or the foreskin happens to go right back when he’s erect, you’ll need to adjust your technique. Spit can make for a makeshift lube if you’re out and about, but it’s probably good to make sure there’s lube nearby.

While we’re on the subject of lube, why not true some warming lube or tingling lube for extra sensations. It’s not for everyone, but worth a punt.

Here’s the rub, you’re probably never going to be as good at giving a handjob as the person receiving does it to themselves, after all, they’ve probably been practising on themselves forever. So give yourself a break – and just enjoy the intimacy the interaction can create.

Have you got tips? Use the comments below to let us know what your favourite technique is.

31st August 2018
Is it safe to use a carrot in the bedroom?

It might seem like a wise move – after all carrots are phallically shaped and are cheap as chips but they might not actually be the best thing to use as a sex toy.

The problem is that they don’t have a flared end, like dildos and butt plugs, which means if you lose your grip you’re going to have to poop it out – wide end first. Which might be your thing, but probably won’t feel great.

What’s more, if you end up having trouble passing it, you could end up in casualty, which let’s face it is not the best way to spend a Sunday morning.

Sex and Fruit

Using fruit and veg could be a great way to excite and reignite your sex life though. Using soft fleshy, non-acidic fruit such as honeydew melons or watermelons can be an exciting way to get new sensations. Simply put a hole in it and thrusting in and out will provide interesting brand new feelings.

Alternatively, you can always use other foodstuffs such as chocolate spreads or even Marmite, who recently brought out body paint.

Caution must be used when inserting anything into your butt that doesn’t have a handle or gives good grip. People have ended up in A&E after failing to retrieve a cucumber, banana or carrot that’s gotten lodged in their rectums. Anything that gets stuck up your butt will be a painful experience that can actually lead to death if left untreated. We would urge anyone who has gotten anything stuck up there to seek medical advice immediately, no matter how embarrassed you feel.

Oh did I say use lots of lube…

Alternatives?

If you’re looking to insert a food, why not try a lollipop or ice cubes, which will melt.

It’s best to use toys that are actually designed for insertion, such as dildos and vibrators. Don’t forget if you’re using toys together and share them, to use a fresh condom before using it on your partner, and wash them properly after use.

If you are going to insert a carrot, gherkin, cucumber or banana, make sure you’re relaxed. Some of these veg can be much larger than a penis, so using lots of lube and taking your time is a must.

9th August 2018
5 things you should definitely not use as lube

Whatever you do, don’t ever, ever ever use shampoo

Lube is the fountain from which great sex happens. Whether it’s for anal sex or just cuddly wanks, never start without it! Here are a few things that aren’t wise to use as a lubricant. Most, will at best, not provide enough wetness and at worst leave you open to STIs or tears or great discomfort during anal sex (for both the top and bottom).

Baby Oil

Baby oil is fine if you’re going bareback, but is a total no-go if you are using condoms. It will, like all lubes, which aren’t water or silicon-based, destroy the condom’s integrity.

You might also find that baby oil is a little too thin for proper lubrication – especially if you’re planning to take something bigger than a finger up your ass.

Plus have you tried getting oil out of bed sheets? It’s a nightmare.

Plus if you’re going to be doing any ass to mouth, the ingredients may be toxic – and if not toxic will taste gross AF.

Shampoo

bijutoha / Pixabay

If you’re having a quicky in the shower don’t forget to take your lube with you. Don’t use shampoo it will sting like buggery. It’s best not to put liquids up your ass that aren’t designed to be up there. This user on Yahoo Answers shared a horror story of serious pain when shampoo got in their urethra.

Same again with the A to Mouth stuff. Look out for poisonous ingredients.

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25th July 2018
7 stretches you NEED to do before you bone

Like any physical activity, sex is going to take a toll on your body, and whether you’re a top, a bottom, or a flip-flopping vers, there’s going to be a certain amount of work involved.

Pexels / Pixabay

This is why it’s important to be as limber and flexible beforehand in order to be ready for action. And so that you don’t cramp up halfway through your all-night-fuck-fest, here are seven of the best stretches before sex:

Note: Be sure to warm up.

It’s important that you’re not stretching cold muscles, as they’re more likely to cramp, or worse, snap. If you’re boning at the end of the day, your muscles will have had some activity and are probably fairly warm. Power walking home from work or running up and down the stairs will be enough to get your muscles switched on.

1. Rag Doll

You’ll probably notice that you’re especially stiff first thing in the morning… and not in a good way. So start with a simple forward fold to wake up your lower back and your hamstrings. Start with soft knees, not straight, and simply fold down as far as you can go. First thing in the morning that’s not likely to be far.

Support your weight by placing your hands on your thighs or shins if you can’t reach the floor. Round and soften your back and just let yourself hang there like a ragdoll (hence the name). Roll the spine up and repeat a few times.

2. Downward dog

Keifit / Pixabay

You could even use this one during your boning session ?

Downward dog is the king of all stretches as it works multiple muscle groups and requires you to be active while you stretch. From a forward fold, place your hands on the ground and step both feet back a comfortable distance.

Think about sending your tailbone up to the sky, sticking your butt out like a slut dog. Again, keep the knees soft, and spread your fingers and press your hands into the ground. The guy above is super flexible, so don’t worry about getting your heels on the ground straight away.

3. Low lunge

Pexels / Pixabay

Step out into a lunge, drop your back knee down to the ground and untuck your back toes. This will really help to open your hip flexors, vastly increasing your ability to thrust. Think about sending the front hip backwards, and the back hip forwards, keeping your hips nice and square to the front.

Sink down into the stretch as much as you can without collapsing onto the front hip, and make sure your front knee doesn’t extend past your toes.

4. Deep squat

Veex / Pixabay

It’s as simple as squatting down like you were taking a poop in the desert. Legs nice and wide (giggity), sink your bum down as far as it can go. Put your arms out in front of you for balance if you need it. If that’s easy, bring your hands together into prayer and press your elbows into your knees to open the hips further and deepen the stretch.

5. Lying deep gluteal stretch

If you’ve ever had a butt cramp during sex, then you’ll know it’s a real mood killer. So be sure to wake up and stretch those glutes before you get into it. Lying down on your back, bend your knees and rest your feet on the ground. Cross your right leg over your left knee, then grab the back of your left thigh and gently pull your legs towards you.

Keep your legs bent as your focus should be feeling the stretch in your butt rather than your hamstrings. Repeat on the other side.

6. Frog stretch

This one is a killer, but great if you really want to up your game in the bedroom. Not just for power bottoms, the frog stretch is an intensive hip opener. Improved flexibility there will mean you’re able to open your legs wider, but you’ll also have greater range of motion and stability when topping. Hard work, but worth it.

Start on hands and knees, bringing your knees as far apart as is comfortable. Rock back and forth in that position. Keep the balls of your feet on the ground, with toes pointed outward. Don’t feel like you should be flat on the ground, even ballet dancers can’t always get that deep.

7. Straddle stretch

I love a good straddle ?

This one feels like a throwback to 1980s aerobics classes (for those of you who are old enough to remember the golden age of Lycra and leg-warmers).

Sit on the floor with your legs spread apart as wide as possible without hurting yourself. Lean forward toward the floor with your arms extended, dropping your head and neck slightly. Don’t hunch over in order to reach the floor, keep your back fairly straight (pointing your toes makes it easier and a little gayer… in a good way). Try not to tense up and keep your body as relaxed as possible. Hold for 15-30 seconds, increasing each time.

18th June 2018
These are the 9 things every gay man needs in his bedside drawer

What’s in your bedside drawer? Is it full of random stuff? You know, the kind of stuff that you just don’t know what to do with? Clear it all out and make sure you have these 9 essential items in your nightstand.

CREDIT: CC0 Public Domain / Pixabay / Unsplash

Condoms

There’s no point in having your condoms in the bathroom in a completely separate room from where all the action is happening. Make sure your condoms are right in grabbing distance. Even better so that you don’t ruin the flow of your night put them under your pillow. Also, don’t forget to stock some non-latex condoms. Some guys may have a negative reaction to latex.

Even if you’re in a long-term relationship and don’t use condoms anymore, it’s always good to have some in stock if you both decide to have a third/fourth or fifth around for some fun. Make sure any rubbers you have are still in date.

Lube

And don’t just have one type of lube. Have a variety. As they say, variety is the spice of life. Depending on what you’re doing you might need different lubes. If you’re using condoms make sure you’re using silicone or water based lubes, if you’re going bare you might prefer a more oil based or buttery lube. If toys are your thing you should use water-based lubes.

The gay man’s Kama Sutra

Want to up your bedroom game? Get this book to give you ideas and some insightful tips on new positions. Wow your partner with some new moves with the gay man’s Kuma Sutra.

Breath mint

Worried about morning breath? There’s nothing worse than breath can peel the wallpaper off from fifty feet. Pack some mints in your bedside drawers. Then pop one in first thing if you’re planning for a morning bonk.

Pad and pen

Ever wake up in the mid of night with the world’s most amazing idea and completely forget it by the morning? Keeping a pen and pad by your bed is key to collecting all those midnight memories. Also if you’re not sure you’ll remember the name of the person you’ve just gone to bed with you can always jot it down!

Glasses

If you need glasses keep a set by your bed, especially if you like reading or watching TV last thing at night. Also, comes in very handy if you need to get up in the middle of the night to pee.

Some toys

Sex toys deserve to be placed near to where the action is going to take place. That way you can seamlessly integrate them into your sex life.

Cum rag

Yep. When the business is done, don’t go searching high and low, have a rag on hand to clear up all the mess. Also can be great to have a cloth or scrap of material to place used toys or condoms on ready to clear up in the morning.

Bio Oil

I know this a random choice, but it’s a perfect night oil for your face. Wake with softer more youthful skin. This is a grooming product I absolutely swear by.

2nd May 2018