THEGAYUK

Tag: Sexual Health

The latest news from the world of sexual health. Everything you needed to know about gay sexual health. If you’ve got a question don’t forget to ask our experts.

  • Is it safe to use a cucumber for sex without a condom?

    Is it safe to use a cucumber for sex without a condom?

    Some veggies can make for great and super cheap sex toys…

    If you are using a piece of veg and you’re by yourself, it is most likely to be safe without using a condom, with a few provisos.

    Make sure you wash that thing (let’s call it a vegtoy) good and proper. You don’t want to be putting whatever is on the skin of your vegtoy – like insecticides, bacteria from other people’s hands who have touched it first and well, general dirt from the ground that might be left on the veg.

    Once you’ve washed it you’re good to go, after you check that there are no hard edges or pieces that likely to come off.

    NjoyHarmony / Pixabay

    However, if you’re using it with another person – and you’re sharing the vegtoy, then you should, as with any insertable toy you use in anal play, use a condom. One, it helps protect you from sharing any infections the other person may have but, two, it also helps with keeping the toy clean from, well, let’s face it poop if you’re anally inserting.

    Much bigger than you think

    zhivko / Pixabay

    Just remember veggies are often much harder and bigger than you think. In all likelihood If you actually saw a penis the size of a Sainsbury’s organic cucumber, you might run from the room screaming, (although we do like a challenge).

    So take it slow and use lube.

    Another thing to consider is that as certain veg warms up (with your body warmth), a cucumber and definitely a banana will become a bit mushy. If it breaks apart you might have trouble retrieving parts from inside you. If this happens, don’t stress. Smaller parts will eventually come out if you let nature take its course.

    A word of warning: Extreme caution must be used when inserting anything into your butt that doesn’t have a handle, a flared base or gives good grip. Many people have ended up in A&E after failing to retrieve a cucumber, banana or carrot lodged in their rectums. A painful experience that can actually lead to death if left untreated.

    We would urge anyone who has gotten anything stuck up there to seek medical advice immediately, no matter how embarrassed you feel.

    Most if not all dildos come with a flared base. If you’re looking for an inexpensive dildo, check out the range of dildos at THEGAYSHOP.

    It’s best to use implements that are actually designed for insertion, such as dildos and vibrators.

    If you are going to insert a carrot, gherkin, cucumber or banana, make sure you’re relaxed. Some of these veg can be much larger than a penis, so using lots of lube and taking your time is a must. Oh did I say use lots of lube…   There are a few types, Water-based, Silicone and even numbing.

    Using food for sex

    vanessaives / Pixabay

    Using fruit and veg could be a great way to excite and reignite your sex life. Using soft fleshy, non-acidic fruit such as honeydew melons or watermelons can be an exciting way to get new sensations. Simply put a hole in it and thrusting in and out will provide interesting brand new feelings.

    Have you ever tried “the peach” as made famous in Call Me By Your Name? We’ve put together seven sex scenes from the movies you can try at home.

    Alternatively, you can always use other foodstuffs such as chocolate spreads or even Marmite, who recently brought out body paint.

    Oh did I say use lots of lube…   

    If you’re looking to insert food, why not try a lollipop or ice cubes, which will melt. Use the ones that you can make yourself with a plastic stick. Store-bought lollipops might have a wood stick, which could leave splinters inside you. Ouch!

    Whatever you’re doing, be creative and have fun!

  • DILEMMA | Is my depression medication stopping me from getting hard?

    DILEMMA | Is my depression medication stopping me from getting hard?

    Can medication affect your ability to get hard and stay hard? Dr Nitin Shori answers your question.

    CREDIT: Feel Photo Art / Big Stock Photos

    Dear TGUK,

    I’m in my 30s and I’ve been having trouble getting it up. I’m currently on medication for depression so I’m wondering if that is what is causing my ability to get hard. I don’t want to come off the depression meds, but my failure at not being able to keep an erection is causing a few issues in the bedroom.

    Paul

    Dear Paul,

    A low sex drive and inability to maintain an erection can be a side effect of many antidepressants. However, depression itself can also cause these same problems.
     
    It’s important that you treat your depression and tackle the underlying factors that might be causing it. If you speak to your GP they may be able to change your medication to one that has less of an affect on your libido or consider whether your depression itself is the cause.
     
    There are also other factors that can affect your sex drive and it may be worth considering them.
     
    Erectile dysfunction, or impotence, is a very common condition, particularly among older men.
     
    Stress, anxiety, fatigue and certain health conditions are also common factors in causing impotence, while excessive drug or alcohol miss-use can also affect sexual performance.
     
    Another factor could be age. Testosterone levels naturally start to fall for most men from the age of about 30 or 40.

    PublicDomainPictures / Pixabay

    While many automatically associate testosterone with sexual performance, this powerful hormone has a much wider influence and can often impact on energy levels and motivation, as well as loss of strength and muscle mass.
     
    If the above is ringing bells you can test for testosterone and consider gels or supplements which will boost your levels. You can get testosterone testing kits and prescriptions online if you’re pressed for time to see your doctor and want to rule this out.
     
    There’s also a range of products that can help with erectile dysfunction available online if you want to be discreet, including Viagra.
     
    Given your circumstances, you should discuss your antidepressant medication with your GP before you start exploring other potential causes of impotence.

     

    Have you got a dilemma? Click here to let us know about your dilemma

  • DILEMMA | Is it safe to have sex when you have piles

    DILEMMA | Is it safe to have sex when you have piles

    This week a reader asks whether it’s safe to have intercourse when he’s suffering from piles.

    (C) BIGSTOCK

    Dear Dilemmas,

    I have piles so is it safe to have sexual intercourse while i am suffering from this problem?

    Yours, Jon

    We asked Public Health Practitioner Jose Perez de la Cruz, BPubHtlth his thoughts on whether its safe to have sex whilst you have haemorrhoids

    Anal sex has the potential to inflame pre-existing haemorrhoids (piles), though research shows that it does not cause them in the first place. So long as the piles are not actively bleeding or painful at the time on intercourse then it is probably safe to have sex. If they are bleeding or there is inflammation though, this means that the natural protective barrier formed by the skin and mucous membranes is not at its optimum which if exposed to an STI can make transmission more likely.

    I would recommend using Preparation H or Germoloids (all available on Amazon) to help control pain and inflammation and to reduce swelling.

    During sex, it is also important that you use a good water based lubricant, particularly during acts of multiple people or high-frequency sexual activity as this will reduce the chance of any inflammation being caused. They are very unlikely to burst during normal sexual activity, even in the case of sex parties, threesomes or orgies. If creams etc. though do not fix the underlying problem and I would recommend as a permanent solution surgical intervention.

    This can now be done almost painlessly by syringing the haemorrhoids and a referral can be obtained by going to see your GP. There are also a number of private clinics undertaking the therapy which do not require GP referral.

    Have you got a dilemma you’d like us to tackle? Get in touch with us here.

  • What are these zits on my balls?

    Is it normal to have zits, spots or whiteheads on your scrotum?

    I have little whiteheads on my balls

     

    We asked Medical Director Dr Nitin Shori from Pharmacy2U whether finding little spots or zits on your ball bag is something to be concerned about.

    Dr Nitin told us, “You can get rashes on your testicles as you can any other part of your skin” and they are often caused by anything from blocked pores to allergies or heat irritation.

    “If anything, this area is a bit more sensitive so treat it with care,” Dr Nitin adds.

    Apparently, shaving can often cause spot like symptoms as could using a new body wash or new washing powder for your laundry – so if you have a break-out see if either of these could factors.

    Also, when the weather turns humid this can cause rashes through sweating.

    Dr Nitin says, “You need to ensure you wash regularly and properly dry yourself before dressing as rashes love moist, damp places! If you shave you need to keep the area clean afterwards”.

    But rashes can also be a sign of a sexually transmitted disease warns Dr Nitin, “if it (the zits) don’t clear up, do go and see your GP or local GUM clinic just to make sure. The majority of STDs can be treated quickly and efficiently the earlier they are diagnosed.

    “You can also get an STD testing kit online if you just want to put your mind at rest and rule that out”

     

    The advice listed above is not intended to replace or take the place of that of your own doctor, GP or medical professional who knows your full medical history. If in any doubt make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible.

    OTHER QUESTIONS: HIV | WILLY WONDERS | HOLES | DOING IT | STIs | LUMPS & BUMPS | BACK TO SEX CLINIC HOME PAGE

    Got a problem you’d like advice on?

  • What’s the best haemorrhoid treatment?

    If you’ve found yourself with haemorrhoids more commonly known as piles here’s the best way to treat them.

    What's the best haemorrhoid treatment?

    Suffering from piles when you’re a bottom or even a power bottom could spell disaster for your sex life. But even if you don’t have anal sex, then piles can be a real pain in the arse (pun unfortunately intended). The fact is that piles or haemorrhoids are a fact of life for many people.

    Piles are caused by swollen veins in the anus. They can be caused by straining when going to the toilet (number two), mainly during constipation or sitting on the loo for too long.

    Many people don’t even know they have them – because they can occur inside your rectum – where you can’t see them.

    When they come out your bottom, that’s when they can become a bit of a problem.

    What's the best haemorrhoid treatment?

    Does anal sex cause piles?

    But before we go on, let’s clear one thing up, they aren’t caused by having anal sex.

    Jose Perez de la Cruz, a Public Health Practitioner at the Terrence Higgins Trust told us, “anal sex has the potential to inflame pre-existing haemorrhoids (piles), though research shows that it does not cause them in the first place. So long as the piles are not actively bleeding or painful at the time of intercourse then it is probably safe to have sex”.

    What’s the best way to cure haemorrhoids?

    If you’ve got piles, here are some tips on how to get rid of them.

    Sex

    Firstly, you should probably take a break from receptive anal sex if you’ve got piles. Firstly, depending on how bad your haemorrhoids are, they may burst and cause bloody sheets and lost of blood and could be quite painful. Secondly, if you’re not using condoms and you are not on PrEP, you might be opening yourself up to blood-borne infections and viruses.

    Creams

    The NHS suggests that piles can often clear up by themselves, but there are several treatments that help with discomfort and itching. There are creams and suppositories, which are manually inserted into your arse – which can relieve swelling.

    Jose continues, “I would recommend using Preparation H (under a fiver) or Germoloids (over a fiver) to help control pain and inflammation and to reduce swelling. During sex, it is also important that you use a good water-based lubricant, particularly during acts of multiple people or high-frequency sexual activity as this will reduce the chance of any inflammation being caused.”

    Jose also suggests if the piles don’t clear up after a while that you book an appointment with your doctor to talk options.

    Diet

    Your diet can play a bit role in helping you clear your piles, particularly if you have constipation. The NHS suggests you should increase fibre in your diet. You should also increase the amount of water you’re consuming and avoid caffeine. If you are constipated your GP may prescribe laxatives to help you poop.

    There are also more intrusive medical ways to rid yourself of haemorrhoids and you can read about them on the NHS website.

    The advice listed above is not intended to replace or take the place of that of your own doctor, GP or medical professional who knows your full medical history. If in any doubt make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible.

    OTHER QUESTIONS: HIV | WILLY WONDERS | HOLES | DOING IT | STIs | LUMPS & BUMPS | BACK TO SEX CLINIC HOME PAGE

    Got a problem you’d like advice on? Click here to ask your question

  • Can you catch syphilis from oral?

    Can you catch syphilis from oral?

    Syphilis can be spread through all manner of sexual encounters and oral sex is one of them.

    Can you catch syphilis from oral sex
    Bru-nO / Pixabay

    Startling statistics from 2016 show that gay and bisexual men make up 90 percent of new syphilis infections in London and that London’s rate is three times higher than the rest of England – so syphilis is clearly a very infectious disease.

    Syphilis can be spread by vaginal, oral and anal sex or genital contact with an infected person. Most cases of syphilis are treatable with antibiotics and it is preventable through safer sex practices which include using condoms, regularly being tested and avoiding overlapping sexual relationships.

    Speaking to THEGAYUK.com Doctor Rick Viney said, “It’s very easy to contract syphilis in this way (through oral) It will present with an obvious ulcer on a mucosal surface in the mouth but will be painless”.

    How do you know that you have syphilis?

    There are no specific symptoms for syphilis. There will be the presence of one or more painless but highly infectious sores (primary infection) which appear at the site of infection. These sores disappear within two to six weeks in the absence of treatment.

    Secondary symptoms may develop six weeks to six months after the initial sores. Later symptoms are highly variable, but may include a rash on the palms or soles.

    Late syphilis occurs four or more years after an untreated primary infection. Complications may occur in the mucocutaneous tissue, heart, respiratory tract or central nervous system.

    How is syphilis diagnosed?

    Syphilis can be diagnosed via a simple blood test, which can be provided at a sexual health clinic.

    How can you protect against syphilis?

    Syphilis is preventable with the use of condoms when having sex – vaginal, anal and oral. You can use dental dams for oral sex. Regular sexual health screening will also help combat the spread.

     

     

  • Is it safe to use a carrot in the bedroom?

    Is it safe to use a carrot in the bedroom?

    It might seem like a wise move – after all carrots are phallically shaped and are cheap as chips but they might not actually be the best thing to use as a sex toy.

    The problem is that they don’t have a flared end, like dildos and butt plugs, which means if you lose your grip you’re going to have to poop it out – wide end first. Which might be your thing, but probably won’t feel great.

    What’s more, if you end up having trouble passing it, you could end up in casualty, which let’s face it is not the best way to spend a Sunday morning.

    Sex and Fruit

    Using fruit and veg could be a great way to excite and reignite your sex life though. Using soft fleshy, non-acidic fruit such as honeydew melons or watermelons can be an exciting way to get new sensations. Simply put a hole in it and thrusting in and out will provide interesting brand new feelings.

    Alternatively, you can always use other foodstuffs such as chocolate spreads or even Marmite, who recently brought out body paint.

    Caution must be used when inserting anything into your butt that doesn’t have a handle or gives good grip. People have ended up in A&E after failing to retrieve a cucumber, banana or carrot that’s gotten lodged in their rectums. Anything that gets stuck up your butt will be a painful experience that can actually lead to death if left untreated. We would urge anyone who has gotten anything stuck up there to seek medical advice immediately, no matter how embarrassed you feel.

    Oh did I say use lots of lube…   

    Alternatives?

    If you’re looking to insert a food, why not try a lollipop or ice cubes, which will melt.

    It’s best to use toys that are actually designed for insertion, such as dildos and vibrators. Don’t forget if you’re using toys together and share them, to use a fresh condom before using it on your partner, and wash them properly after use. 

    If you are going to insert a carrot, gherkin, cucumber or banana, make sure you’re relaxed. Some of these veg can be much larger than a penis, so using lots of lube and taking your time is a must. 

  • ADVICE | If I can’t handle a finger, how will I manage a dick?

    ADVICE | If I can’t handle a finger, how will I manage a dick?

    A reader asks advice on whether he’ll ever be able to have anal sex, especially as he finds it uncomfortable fingering himself.

    (C) BIGSTOCK

    Dear TGUK

    I find it quite uncomfortable when fingering myself and i get sore from it. I actually want to try being a bottom but since I can’t handle fingering I don’t think I could do it with another person, what do you think I should do?

    Ty, 18

    Dear Ty

    Everyone’s ass is different and so is its ability to take various sized objects. Barring any medical reason, like anal fissures or piles it sounds as though you just need time and practice. As you’re quite young, the odds of you having fissures or piles is quite slim, but not impossible. If in any doubt you should definitely book to see your GP or visit to a sexual health clinic, who will be able to give you a sexual health check and you can discuss any issues you have.

    In your letter, you didn’t mention whether you use lubrication when you try and finger yourself. If not, you should invest in some lube – but if you’re not in a situation where you can buy lube there are alternatives. There are, however, some liquids you shouldn’t use as a lubricant – these include body lotions and shampoo as these will irritate and potentially make your insides feel like the gates of hell.

    If you can’t get hold of proper lube, it’s best to use a natural, unperfumed oily liquid. When you’re just by yourself there are a number of lube substitutes around the home that you can use, like olive oil, coconut oil, vaseline and aloe vera gel – none of these are good to use during sex with a condom. They will destroy the integrity of the condom. Always use a lube designed for condom usage.

    Also, make sure you cut your nails and smooth them off. It’s important not to have jagged nails as you could catch your insides and cause a tear or rip internally.

    Time is your friend

    The trick with taking anything larger than a finger is time and patience and you should communicate that with anyone you have sex with. Don’t feel rushed into taking the D before you’re ready.

    A word to the wise, it probably will hurt the first time you bottom for someone – and the chances are that you won’t be able to take it for very long either, but with time and practice (either by yourself or with a partner) you will be able to take it for longer and longer.

    Most guys can’t bottom for that long – even though porn can make it seem that they’re taking dick for hours at a time. It’s just one of those unrealistic expectations that gay porn has given us! Most guys cum within minutes of starting penetrative sex, a study found that men can last anywhere from 1 minute to 10 minutes, so you don’t need to be an ass athlete. You can always ask your topper to stop as well. Your body your rules.

    Practice Makes Perfect

    By yourself, after one finger, there are two fingers. Some people may want to try experimenting with various fruits and vegs, but there are some issues with using anything that doesn’t have a flared end. Without the splayed bottom it could disappear up inside you and that’s where problems can really begin. Ideally, you should try and buy a dildo or butt plug designed for ass play.

    Take your time

    There’s no rush – and when it comes to the actual sex take your time. If you’ve got time to prepare, you might want to douche (where you use water to get rid of poop in your anal canal and rectum) and lots of foreplay. Yes, get your guy to rim you and play and finger your butt.

    The advice listed above is not intended to replace or take the place of that of your own doctor, GP or medical professional who knows your full medical history. If in any doubt make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible.

    Have you got a sexual or emotional dilemma you’d like us to answer? Click here to send us a message.

  • You should check yourself for these symptoms after coming back from your holidays

    You should check yourself for these symptoms after coming back from your holidays

    Summer holidays often lead to an increase in unprotected sex and STIs. New experiences and copious amounts of alcohol can often lead to unwise choices.

    (C) BIGSTOCK

    Take proper precautions and always get properly checked when you get back home. To ask for more information on STIs, we spoke to the team at the STI Clinic.

    Symptoms of an STI

    Pain while urinating

    A burning sensation or pain whilst urinating could be a possible sign of an STI. If you notice this, make an appointment to rule out infections such as chlamydia or urethritis.

    Penis discharge

    Any discharge from the tip of the penis could be a symptom of an STI. Cloudy, white, yellow, or green discharge is a possible sign that something is wrong. If you experience any unusual discharge, visit a doctor to get checked as soon as possible – it could be a symptom of chlamydia, gonorrhea, or urethritis.

    Pain in testicles

    Pain of any kind is usually an indicator of a problem in the body. Pain in the testicles can be a sign of an STI. You might experience the pain whilst urinating, during sex, or just throughout your daily life. Book an appointment to get checked if you experience pain, as it can be a sign of either gonorrhoea or chlamydia.

    No symptoms at all

    Alarmingly, many STIs do not show their symptoms for a very long time. It can take weeks, months, or years for any signs of infection to show up – so, just because you don’t have symptoms it doesn’t mean you’re not infected. Take proper precautions and get regular check-ups.

    Chlamydia has been termed the “silent epidemic” because of its lack of obvious symptoms. Around 70% of women and 50% of men experience no symptoms at all when they are infected with the disease. HIV is even more elusive – often not showing signs for years, and sometimes not showing signs at all.

    (C) BIGSTOCK

    Getting tested

    Never hesitate to get tested if you think there’s a chance you have an STI. Even if it’s unlikely, it’s best to get tested as soon as possible. Don’t risk waiting for your symptoms to appear.

    Most tests can be done in a doctor’s surgery, at a local GUM clinic, and some can be done through the post. Most are done through providing a urine sample or a urethral swab.

    Getting treated

    (C) BIGSTOCK

    Don’t panic if you find out that you have an STI because most can be completely cured or controlled with medical attention.

    Gonorrhoea

    There are now only a few antibiotics left that still treat gonorrhoea, as it has developed a resistance to the drugs that were first used to treat it. An intra-muscular injection is the most common form of treatment.

    The symptoms of gonorrhoea usually take around 2-3 days to disappear after treatment. Make sure you are tested again 2 weeks after treatment and avoid having sex for at least a week afterwards.

    Chlamydia

    Chlamydia is treated with a course of antibiotics. Both you and your partner should take the antibiotics at the same time, and refrain from intercourse throughout your treatment (even with a condom).

    Someone who has been infected multiple times is much more likely to suffer from long-term complications. If you contract chlamydia, be extra careful not to get it again.

    (C) BIGSTOCK

    If you are in any doubt, it’s best to get tested. It’s never been easier to get tested for STIs, and the sooner an STI is caught, the easier it is to control and treat.

    Advice given by Dr Elizabeth Kershaw-Yates, GP and one of the medical team at The STI Clinic: https://www.thesticlinic.com/ 

  • ADVICE | I have eczema on my penis, is there anything I can do to clear it up?

    ADVICE | I have eczema on my penis, is there anything I can do to clear it up?

    Eczema can happen all over the body, but what if you get it on your penis?

    We asked the health experts at  AXA PPP healthcare to shed some light on the issue and find out what you can do about it.

    There are a number of skin conditions that can affect the penis, including atopic eczema (or atopic dermatitis) – the most common form of eczema. Unfortunately, there is no cure for eczema. It is a matter of discovering and avoiding allergens and preventing the skin from becoming dry by using medical moisturisers.

    During a flare-up of eczema, the skin becomes red, inflamed and itchy, which can lead to swelling of the skin and tiny blisters which can then rupture. Infected skin can ooze clear or yellowish pus. Sometimes inflamed skin can become infected especially if it is around the penis, where there are more folds and creases.

    In addition, there is increased exposure to bacteria from urine and faeces which can thrive in a warm environment. Eczema can be aggravated by temperature, irritants such as sweat and soap, stress, allergens and friction from tight clothing so it’s important to work out if any of these are aggravating your condition.

    Make sure that you clean and wash your penis every day -instead of using soap, use an emulsifying ointment.  efes / Pixabay

    The penis needs to be washed once or twice a day, after fully retracting the foreskin. Instead of using soap, washing with a cream such as an emulsifying ointment, sometimes with the addition of an antiseptic ingredient, can be helpful. Ironically, after washing it is important to dry yourself thoroughly before applying any medical moisturizer. These emollients, together with applying creams on the normal skin areas, will help to repair damage to the skin’s natural barrier and reduce redness, swelling and itching.

    Taking an antihistamine tablet will also help to stop the itching and reduce the urge to scratch. When you scratch the skin it becomes irritated, increasing your risk of infection and making the eczema worse.

    Steroid creams, such as Hydrocortisone or Eumovate can also help during a flare-up to reduce the inflammation. As with all health problems, it’s important to see your GP for a detailed assessment.

  • This is why your penis has started to curve and what you can do about it

    This is why your penis has started to curve and what you can do about it

    Willies come in all shapes and sizes – and not just length and girth, some of them have curves.

    Why has my penis curved?
    CREDIT: Depositphotos

    Let’s start this whole conversation off by saying, every penis is precious and beautiful. This is a safe space for dicks – no matter what you’re packing. What you have is normal and if you think about it, pretty darn incredible, what with the erections that happen all by themselves and morning glories, what are they all about? So, if your penis starts to curve or perhaps you’ve always had one –  is there anything you can do about it?

    We asked the experts at  AXA PPP healthcare what a curving penis meant and whether it was normal, here’s what they told us,

    “About 5 percent of men over the age of 50 will develop a condition of the penis called Peyronie’s disease. This is a benign but potentially emotionally upsetting condition in which scar tissue develops on the shaft of the penis sometimes resulting in a penile bend noticeable with erections.

    “This can lead to sexual dysfunction with in some cases the affected man avoiding a sexual relationship altogether”.

    So is it dangerous?

    Apparently, some men will find erections and sex painful if Peyronie’s disease happens to them. Some those will simply notice a lump of their shaft.

    Unfortunately, there’s no real cure for Peyronie. However, you should go and see your doctor for a full assessment.

    The NHS’s website notes: “Various non-surgical treatments are available, including medicines and injections of steroids into the affected area. But there’s limited evidence of their effectiveness”.

    Surgery could also be an option, the NHS suggests, “In severe cases, it may be possible to treat Peyronie’s disease with surgery. But doctors recommend waiting at least 12 months before considering surgery, as the condition can improve without treatment in some men”.

     

    To see what Peyronie’s disease can look like, click here.