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  • Eyes are your most important feature when it comes to online dating

    Eyes are your most important feature when it comes to online dating

    A new study has found that eyes are the most important feature when it comes to getting hooked up online.

    The eyes are definitely the window to a soul-mate – with four in 10 singletons naming them the most important tool in the online dating game.

    Although most are dating from behind a screen these days, a poll of 1,000 adults found 43 per cent flirt with their eyes more on a virtual date than they would in real life.

    A further 44 per cent feel more comfortable making ‘eye contact’ when dating online – which subsequently increases feelings of attraction and connection by half (49 per cent).

    Don’t hold someone’s gaze for longer than 9 seconds!

    But nine seconds was found to be the optimum time to hold eye contact in order to make a connection, with 52 per cent feeling anything longer comes across as ‘creepy’.

    It also emerged that three in 10 make more effort to hold someone’s gaze on camera to make sure their interest isn’t missed.

    The research was commissioned by Virgin Media, which has teamed up with body language specialist Adrianne Carter, to offer guidance to singles looking to make lasting connections online.

    Adrianne Carter said: “If you can master the right flirting technique using eye contact online, you’re already halfway to getting a second date.

    “When we’re separated by a screen, we have fewer cues to rely on to ascertain if we’ve made a true connection with a date, or if they just want to turn us off – literally.

    “When we are into someone, our subconscious sees us instinctively mirror their behaviours, looking away from the screen to check we’re holding our date’s interest and gazing back into their eyes.”

    The study also found that with digital dating ruling out traditional body language cues that convey interest, more than two fifths of singletons claim facial expressions are more important than ever when flirting, and in working out if dates have potential to progress to something more.

    Cheeky winks are the way

    Flirty looks (37 per cent) and a cheeky wink (17 per cent) also ranked as sure-fire ways for daters to tell if a new beau-to-be is into them.

    But 22 per cent said looking down could signal a premature end to a budding romance, along with avoiding the camera – or eye rolling.

    As well as using their eyes to flirt, 48 per cent of digital daters admitted to deliberately avoiding eye contact if they are uncomfortable.

    While 37 per cent of those polled via OnePoll do so as they don’t want to lead them on by appearing too into them.

    Virgin Media’s spokeswoman Cilesta Van Doorn added: “When we can’t all be physically close to each other easily, connecting online is more important than ever.

    “It’s been fascinating to see the important role the eyes play in helping us to make genuine connections with each other, even when we might be separated by a screen.

    “By sharing our digital guide, created with the expert help of Alix Fox and Adrienne Carter, we’re helping people across the UK keep those special relationships as fresh and stimulating as the first time they connected”.

    TIPS ON VIRTUAL DATING FROM ADRIANNE CARTER

    Perfect your online eye gaze

    (C) BIGSTOCK


    Although you’re behind a screen, eye contact online should be made in the same way it is physically; by looking into the person’s eyes.

    Focus on their eyes and face area when you’re on a video date – don’t look into the camera.

    By doing that you won’t actually be looking at your date’s face, meaning you’ll miss cues – such as eye flirting and their reactions to questions – and it will be harder to make a genuine connection.

    Look, look, and look again
    There’s an easy trick you can try to see if your virtual date is feeling your vibe.

    Look at their face on the screen and then look away to the left – repeat this three times.

    If your date’s still looking at you when your gaze returns to the screen, then they’re interested.

    Let’s have a show of hands
    Traditional body language indicators of interest aren’t possible on a video date, as you’re usually only visible from the shoulders up.

    Alongside our eyes, the way we hold ourselves and the gestures we use convey emotion and aspects of our personalities.

    Using lots of open gestures denotes an expressive and open personality, whereas suppressed and contained hand movements indicate a quiet and low-key personality type.

  • BLACK HISTORY MONTH | LGBT+ Icons: James Baldwin

    BLACK HISTORY MONTH | LGBT+ Icons: James Baldwin

    October 22nd James Baldwin

    Today’s black LGBT+ icon is James Baldwin. He was an American novelist, essay writer, playwright, poet and activist. Some of his work has been turned into Oscar-winning films.

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  • TODAY IN GAY | Justin Fashanu comes out as gay

    TODAY IN GAY | Justin Fashanu comes out as gay

    Back in 1990 Footballing champ, Justin Fashanu became the first ever footballer of a Top Tier team to come out as gay.

    Not only that, but he was the first black player to breach the £1 million price tag for a footballer.

    He came out in an interview with The Sun, under the headline ‘£1m soccer star: I am GAY.’

    Embed from Getty Images

    However, sadly Justin died in 1998 when he killed himself.

    Peter Tatchell, who was a “close personal friend” of Justin between 1981 and 1985 said,

    “Justin was the first black player to be bought by a club for £1 million and the first widely known black person in Britain to come out as LGBT+. Other black personalities had previously come out, but none had Justin’s high profile and national name recognition.

    “Justin came out in The Sun newspaper, under the headline: ‘£1m soccer star: I am GAY.’ He said he wanted to stop ‘living a lie’ and was distressed by the suicide of a 17-year-old who’d been thrown out of his family home by homophobic parents. He wrote in the book, Stonewall 25: ‘I felt angry at the waste of his life and guilty because I had not been able to help him. I wanted to do something positive to stop such deaths happening again, so I decided to set an example and come out in the papers.’

    His brother, fellow footballer John Fashanu, disowned Justin in the black newspaper, The Voice: ‘John Fashanu: My gay brother is an outcast,’ ran the headline. John later admitted to offering Justin £75,000 to stay quiet and keep his sexuality secret. He told the Daily Mirror: ‘I begged him, I threatened him, I did everything I could possibly do to try and stop him coming out…I gave him the money because I didn’t want the embarrassment for me or my family.’

    “Justin told me he was heartbroken by what he described as the ‘terrible’ things John said about him. He never got over what he saw as betrayal by the brother he loved,” said Mr Tatchell.

    The reaction of the wider black community was just as bad. His coming out was condemned by the Voice as “an affront to the black community…damaging…pathetic and unforgiveable.”

    “We heteros”, wrote Voice columnist Tony Sewell, “are sick and tired of tortured queens playing hide and seek around their closets. Homosexuals are the greatest queer-bashers around. No other group of people are so preoccupied with making their own sexuality look dirty.” Sewell only very recently apologised for those comments.

    “Even if (Justin) Fashanu had chosen to come out in The Voice rather than The Sun, I doubt his reception would have been any more sympathetic,” noted Gay Times media columnist, Terry Sanderson, at the time. “Rejection by his own community was profoundly damaging to him.”

    Although Justin later said that he “never once regretted” coming out, the hostile reaction from many in the black community hurt him deeply.

    Mr Tatchell continued, “He told me that since black people knew the pain of racial prejudice and discrimination, he expected they’d be understanding and supportive. Some were, but many denounced him for bringing ‘shame’ on their race. As far as I recall, not a single black public figure supported his coming out or condemned the Voice and others in the community who denounced him. Justin later told the Voice: ‘Those who say that you can’t be black, gay and proud of it are ignorant.’

    “Justin was blindsided by the backlash and the ‘heavy damage’ that coming out inflicted on his football career. He received homophobic abuse from some fans.

    Embed from Getty Images

    “Like many black footballers in those days, he was subjected to racist taunts by fans from rival teams. They would make monkey noises and gestures, and throw bananas onto the pitch. But it was anti-gay prejudice that ultimately dragged him down.

    “’A bloody poof!’ is how his manager at Nottingham Forest, Brian Clough, described his star player. Although Justin laughed this off, Clough’s sneers hurt inside, making it hard for him to concentrate on scoring goals.

    “Justin became erratic and unpredictable, on the pitch and off it. His sometimes bizarre, indefensible behaviour can only be fully understood in the context of a potentially brilliant football career cut short, largely by homophobia.” said Mr Tatchell. 

    READ / BUY: Justin Fashanu’s Biography by Jim Reed

  • Olympic star Gus Kenworthy considered suicide before he came out

    Speaking out about the pressure he felt before coming out as gay in 2015, Olympian Gus Kenworthy spoke about the dark times he faced in an interview on YouTube with fellow out champion Megan Rapinoe.

    He opened up about his experience of being in the closet before he came out.

    “It’s exhausting being in the closet. There was so much time and energy put into harbouring that secret that I think it really took a toll on my mental health and I struggled with depression and at moments in my life, thoughts of suicide.

    “I think for a lot of my career and my coming up in the sport, my mental health was kind of put on the back burner, and I feel like I was really compartmentalizing. I was not out of the closet. When I did take that stand and come out it was the best thing I could have ever done for my mental health.

    Coming out had an unexpected up side for the star

    He continued, “I thought it was gonna be, like, a thing that maybe it was a hindrance for my sport, and it was the exact opposite. My following year after coming out was my best season to date. I felt so liberated, I had a huge weight off my shoulders…I think that mental health is so important and I’m so glad that it’s something that is getting talked about more and more frequently now because it’s so important for everybody.

    “It’s especially important for LGBTQ kids who are at a much higher risk of self-harm, just because they do struggle to come to terms with themselves, ourselves, and the rate of suicide is so much higher.”

  • BLACK HISTORY MONTH | LGBT+ Icons: Gladys Bentley

    BLACK HISTORY MONTH | LGBT+ Icons: Gladys Bentley

    October 21st Gladys Bentley

    Gladys Bentley is today’s black LGBT+ icon. She was a an American blues singer, pianist and entertainer. Her career took off in the 1920s as a black, lesbian, cross-dressing performer.

    Follow Warwickshire Pride on Twitter or Facebook

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  • Facebook says sorry after removing pictures from charity calendar

    Facebook says sorry after removing pictures from charity calendar

    Facebook, which owns the Instagram platform has apologised after numerous images, which complied with its nudity policies were removed from The Naked Rugby Player’s profile.

    Yesterday we reported that The Naked Rugby Players, which aims to raise awareness of male cancers and body positivity through its partnerships with LGBT+ Rugby Clubs and Balls To Cancer, had been threatened by Instagram to have its profile deleted after two pictures were uploaded to its account.

    The two pictures in question featured no actual nudity and were cropped inline with Instagram’s no genital policy.

    “We’re sorry for this mistake.”

    (C) FACEBOOK

    Speaking to THEGAYUK.com, a spokesperson for Facebook said, “Every day we’re inspired by the millions of people using our platforms to connect with, and raise money for, meaningful causes. This content was removed in error and has now been restored. We’re sorry for this mistake.”

    The Naked Rugby Players have released a calendar every year since 2018 with the aim of raising money for Balls To Cancer and LGBT+ Inclusive Rugby Clubs.

    The players have managed to put together a calendar for 2021 despite the ongoing Coronavirus pandemic. This year’s calendar is called “Unseen Bits” and features 12 never-seen-before pictures from previous photoshoots.

  • Lost LGBT Scene | Bangs Nightclub

    Lost LGBT Scene | Bangs Nightclub

    We’re creating an online memory board for some of London’s lost venues. Since the turn of the century, London’s gay scene has lost over 100 venues.

    Bangs Nightclub gay club in London

    We’d love for you to help us grow this historical archive of London’s lost gay scene. If you’ve got photos or memories of any of the venues you’d like to share please use the comment section below and we’ll add them right here.

    Bangs Night club

    In Charing Cross Road

    Opened: Was open in the mid-to late 70s

    Closed: We don’t know – can you help with this info?

    BACK TO MAIN LIST


    YOUR SUPPORT MEANS EVERYTHING

    Help us deliver unique, usable and reliable journalism that supports the gay, bisexual and curious community of the United Kingdom. Can you help protect LGBT+ media? Publishers like us have come under severe threat by the likes of Google and Facebook. The problem is that advertisers are choosing to put their money with them, rather than with niche publishers like us. Our goal is to eliminate banner ads altogether on site and we can do that if you could pledge us a tiny amount each month.

    We’re asking our readers to pledge just £1 per month, more if you’re feeling swanky. You can stop payment at any time.

    It’s quick and easy to sign up and you’ll only have to do it once.

    Click to start the journey and support THEGAYUK!

  • Lost LGBT Scene | Piano Bar

    Lost LGBT Scene | Piano Bar

    We’re creating an online memory board for some of London’s lost venues. Since the turn of the century, London’s gay scene has lost over 100 venues.

    Piano gay bar  in London

    We’d love for you to help us grow this historical archive of London’s lost gay scene. If you’ve got photos or memories of any of the venues you’d like to share please use the comment section below and we’ll add them right here.

    Piano Bar

    Opened: We’re not sure

    Closed: We don’t know – can you help with this info?

    BACK TO MAIN LIST


    YOUR SUPPORT MEANS EVERYTHING

    Help us deliver unique, usable and reliable journalism that supports the gay, bisexual and curious community of the United Kingdom. Can you help protect LGBT+ media? Publishers like us have come under severe threat by the likes of Google and Facebook. The problem is that advertisers are choosing to put their money with them, rather than with niche publishers like us. Our goal is to eliminate banner ads altogether on site and we can do that if you could pledge us a tiny amount each month.

    We’re asking our readers to pledge just £1 per month, more if you’re feeling swanky. You can stop payment at any time.

    It’s quick and easy to sign up and you’ll only have to do it once.

    Click to start the journey and support THEGAYUK!

  • Lost LGBT Scene | Le Foyer

    Lost LGBT Scene | Le Foyer

    We’re creating an online memory board for some of London’s lost venues. Since the turn of the century, London’s gay scene has lost over 100 venues.

    Le Foyer gay club in London

    We’d love for you to help us grow this historical archive of London’s lost gay scene. If you’ve got photos or memories of any of the venues you’d like to share please use the comment section below and we’ll add them right here.

    Le Foyer

    A club in Soho

    Opened: Was open in the 70s

    Closed: We don’t know – can you help with this info?

    BACK TO MAIN LIST


    YOUR SUPPORT MEANS EVERYTHING

    Help us deliver unique, usable and reliable journalism that supports the gay, bisexual and curious community of the United Kingdom. Can you help protect LGBT+ media? Publishers like us have come under severe threat by the likes of Google and Facebook. The problem is that advertisers are choosing to put their money with them, rather than with niche publishers like us. Our goal is to eliminate banner ads altogether on site and we can do that if you could pledge us a tiny amount each month.

    We’re asking our readers to pledge just £1 per month, more if you’re feeling swanky. You can stop payment at any time.

    It’s quick and easy to sign up and you’ll only have to do it once.

    Click to start the journey and support THEGAYUK!

  • Lost LGBT Scene | Dorian Club

    Lost LGBT Scene | Dorian Club

    We’re creating an online memory board for some of London’s lost venues. Since the turn of the century, London’s gay scene has lost over 100 venues.

    Dorian Gay Club in London

    We’d love for you to help us grow this historical archive of London’s lost gay scene. If you’ve got photos or memories of any of the venues you’d like to share please use the comment section below and we’ll add them right here.

    Dorian Club

    Just off the Kings Road Chelsea.

    Opened: Was open in the 70s

    Closed: We don’t know – can you help with this info?

    BACK TO MAIN LIST


    YOUR SUPPORT MEANS EVERYTHING

    Help us deliver unique, usable and reliable journalism that supports the gay, bisexual and curious community of the United Kingdom. Can you help protect LGBT+ media? Publishers like us have come under severe threat by the likes of Google and Facebook. The problem is that advertisers are choosing to put their money with them, rather than with niche publishers like us. Our goal is to eliminate banner ads altogether on site and we can do that if you could pledge us a tiny amount each month.

    We’re asking our readers to pledge just £1 per month, more if you’re feeling swanky. You can stop payment at any time.

    It’s quick and easy to sign up and you’ll only have to do it once.

    Click to start the journey and support THEGAYUK!

  • Instagram removes pictures and threatens to delete charity calendar account

    Instagram removes pictures and threatens to delete charity calendar account

    An account by The Naked Rugby Players, which aims to raise awareness of male cancers and body positivity, on the Facebook-owned Instagram platform has been threatened with removal after it uploaded two pictures from its 2020 calendar featuring the LGBT+ Rugby club, Chester Centurions.

    The two pictures in question featured no actual nudity and were cropped inline with Instagram’s no genital policy.

    This isn’t the first time that Instagram has pulled, censored, deleted or threatened to delete an account over pictures of nearly naked men or men that are naked but have their genitals covered.

    Screenshots shared by The Naked Rugby Players seen by THEGAYUK show that the account holders weren’t even permitted to lodge an appeal with Instagram and told that because there are fewer reviewers due to the coronavirus outbreak, one of the largest companies in the world, Facebook, wouldn’t be able to review the post.

    The two images in question complied with Instagram’s “Nudity or sexual activity guideline” and did not show genitals, or “close-up of fully-nude buttocks”.

    In fact take a look at them here.

    Fans were quick to defend the calendar and accused Instagram of being “prudish” and “ridiculous” and that their deletion of images of men happened all too often.

    We have reported that Instagram has blocked numerous gay male accounts for images that it says breaks its policies, such as porn star Brent Everett, meat Magazine, Celebrity Master Chef winner Riyadh Khalaf however, it seemingly has set a double standard, by allowing singer Lizzo and Kim Kardashian to keep, to name a couple, fully nude pictures published on the platform.

    https://www.instagram.com/p/CGj9jJcFEEc/

    After THEGAYUK.com reached out to Instagram for comment on the picture removals, the two posts in question were restored as well as a number of other pictures which had been deleted by the social network in the past.

    Facebook told THEGAYUK that it’s ‘investigating’ the issue.

    The Naked Rugby Players 2021 Unseen Bits calendar is now available to order.