Tag: Relationships

All the latest breaking news on gay and LGBT relationships. Browse THEGAYUK’s complete collection of news, articles and commentary on relationships.

  • This is the thing that’s ruining your sex life

    This is the thing that’s ruining your sex life

    A poll of 2,000 adults found the cold and dark winter months result in an increase in illnesses, a lower mood and an overall lack of motivation.

    But millions also see their sex life suffer with almost one in twenty saying their libido nosedives during the winter.

    Others also have less energy, struggle to wake up, have sore and achy joints and muscles and are more likely to consume unhealthy or sugary foods than in the summer months.

    Dr Meg Arroll, a psychologist on behalf of wellbeing brand Healthspan, which commissioned the research, said: “This shows that many of us do feel down in the dumps when the weather turns colder and days get shorter.

    “Some of this may be due to the lack of daylight and perceived unpleasantness of being out and about in the wind and rain.

    “And of course, there are more coughs and colds during winter months which affect both how we feel physically and our mood.

    “But the heartening aspect of this survey is that over a quarter of respondents state they take active steps to protect their health and wellbeing in winter.

    “This is the key to good health as we may not be able to control the weather, but we can control how we think and feel and take action to improve our overall outlook.”

    Can’t face the cold

    Free-Photos / Pixabay

    The study also found 46 per cent of Brits think winter is bad for their health and it really impacts on their appearance.

    Forty-one per cent stated they are more affected by colds and flu during the winter months, while 31 per cent believe they suffer more from dry skin.

    Three in 10 have less energy and feel more tired while 22 per cent believe they are more likely to gain weight than they are in the summer.

    Almost six in 10 say their mood is generally lower in winter than at any other time of the year, with 66 per cent blaming the dark morning and evenings.

    Another 64 percent put their bad mood down to the cold weather while 17 per cent say it’s because they always feel ill.

    It also emerged the nation’s health takes a hit in the winter with half saying they are more likely to be ill during the season than any other time of year with around two colds and two days off work from September to February.

    To add to this, 47 percent of Brits feel more motivated to exercise in the summer months, spending an average of four hours and 29 minutes in the gym. This drops to 3 hours and 20 minutes in the winter.

    It’s all the diet

    CREDIT: mythja-bigstock

    Researchers from OnePoll also found 52 per cent see their diet change as they mover into the winter months.

    Almost two-thirds turn to comfort food as the temperature drops, while 56 per cent eat less salad and 35 per cent consume more sugary treats. Others eat more fast food, less fruit and vegetables and drink less water.

    But 27 per cent do take extra steps to safeguard their health and appearance during the winter months.

    Half of those polled 50 per cent take health supplements and use extra moisturiser to combat dry skin, 33 per cent go to bed earlier, and 23 per cent try to improve their diet.

    Dr Sarah Brewer, Healthspan Medical Director, said: “Diet should always come first, so focus on obtaining at least five-a-day fruit and veg for immune boosting vitamin C, plus two servings of oily fish per week for omega-3 and vitamin D.

    “Clinical trials show that sucking zinc acetate lozenges significantly reduces symptoms of the common cold compared with placebo.

    “Zinc acetate lozenges shortened the duration of nasal congestion by 37 per cent, scratchy throat by 33 per cent, hoarseness by 43 per cent and cough by 46 per cent.

    “Sucking zinc acetate lozenges also shortened the duration of muscle aching by 54 per cent.

    “Taking Zinc and Vitamin C tablets to prevent colds is also a popular strategy during winter months.”

    Top 20 ways Brits suffer more in the winter than in the summer
    1. Flu/colds
    2. Dry skin
    3. Have less energy
    4. More likely to be ill
    5. Feeling demotivated
    6. Struggle to wake up
    7. Increased appetite for unhealthy foods
    8. Weight gain
    9. Feeling sad
    10. Sore joints
    11. Watch too much TV/screen time
    12. Aching muscles
    13. Feeling pale
    14. Feeling unfit
    15. Generally poor health
    16. Poor sleep
    17. A bad mood
    18. Feeling lonely
    19. Dry eyes
    20. Dry hair

    Top 10 reasons for a lower mood in winter
    1. It’s dark
    2. It’s cold
    3. The days feel shorter
    4. I can’t go outside for as long
    5. I feel unfit
    6. I feel ill
    7. I’m always hungry
    8. I struggle to sleep
    9. I have less of a social life
    10. I have bad skin

  • COMMENT | Gay, 35 and single

    COMMENT | Gay, 35 and single

    I’m 35 years old (how many years is that in gay years?)

    Free-Photos / Pixabay

    I’m single and I have been for quite some time. Most people my age have settled down. Some met a long time partner, a husband or a wife. Many already have kids.

    As I get older, I find it more and more difficult to avoid questions such as: When are you going to get married? How come that you don’t have a partner? Do you never think about having kids? Countless times I used excuses such as: I’m too focused on my career right now. I’m too busy for a relationship.

    I want to travel first before I settle down. All those are true, but in all honesty, the main reason why I didn’t settle down is very simple: I just haven’t found the right guy yet. Yes, I do have high standards, and I wouldn’t settle for less.

    Why is his not an issue?

    While we live in a society that makes us feel as though being single is something to be concerned about, it really isn’t how I perceive it. I was n a couple of serious relationships. Was I happier then? No!

    I think it is a common mistake to assume that we need someone to make us happy.

    In my opinion, that couldn’t be further from the truth. My happiness doesn’t depend on anyone but me.

    I wouldn’t put the key to my own happiness in someone else’s pocket.

    Imagine what a responsibility it would be for the other person!

    Also, let’s not forget about the many advantages of being single: I can focus on my career, I can travel on a whim, I have more time to pursue my hobbies, I can have the full bed for myself…

    Basically, I can do whatever I want whenever I feel like it. And I am so much more relaxed emotionally!

    What really makes me happy?

    qimono / Pixabay

    Being single allowed me to get in touch with myself and to (re-)discover the true beauty of the little things that we often take for granted: seeing a beautiful sunset, stargazing, eating my favourite meal, listening to my favourite song, dancing like there is nobody watching, falling asleep while the rain gently beats against my window, swimming naked, making someone smile.

    Does this mean that I would like to be single forever? Absolutely not!

    It would be great to find someone special to share all these things with. I am definitely open to that possibility.
    My point is: That it doesn’t define my happiness. I would so pleased if people would stop asking me why I’m still single.

    Instead, ask me if I’m happy.

    Miguel Martins – Mister Senior Netherlands 3rd Runner-Up (www.facebook.com/MyOwnFado)

  • This is how we’re now saying, “I Love You” in 2018

    This is how we’re now saying, “I Love You” in 2018

    Emojis, texts and WhatsApp are among the most popular ways to say ‘I love you’, according to a study.

    TheHilaryClark / Pixabay

    Researchers who polled 2,000 UK adults found millions are turning to their mobile phones to express these sentiments to friends and family rather than in person.

    Other common ways of saying ‘I love you’ include using Skype, Facebook and Instagram.

    Further to this, just three in 10 ALWAYS say ‘I love you’ face-to-face – with a fifth unable to do so because their loved ones live in another city or country.

    The research was commissioned by Thorntons to mark the launch of its ‘Continental Journeys’ competition [https://www.thorntons.co.uk/continental/journeys.html] where they will reunite families who can’t be together over the festive period.

    Spokesman Ian Tweedale said, “It’s not about what’s under the Christmas tree, but about who’s around it.

    “Our Continental Journeys competition is helping families to ‘Pass The Love On’ this Christmas, by bringing together loved ones who, for whatever reason, can’t be together during the holiday season.

    “We’re also proud to be passing the love on to the charity SSAFA, which supports our servicemen and women, veterans and their families.”

    The research also identified the ‘true’ meaning of love – including accepting someone’s imperfections (47 percent) and being comfortable when sat in silence together (36 percent).

    Travelling long distances to see one another (13 percent) is another indicator of genuine love, as is saving the last chocolate (7 percent) and warming up the bed (six percent).

    Being quiet in the morning as you leave the house (five per cent) is also a sign of true affection.

    Only 44 percent of people say I Love You to their partner every day

    It also emerged 44 percent of Brits say ‘I love you’ to their partners every day.

    And four in 10 also tell their pets they love them on a daily basis.

    In contrast, just 12 percent say those special words to their mum each and every day.

    Instead, 30 per cent say the ‘L word’ to their parents once a week and 27 percent say it to their friends at least once a month.

    The research, carried out through OnePoll, also found saying ‘I love you’ too much devalues its meaning – according to four in 10 adults.

    TOP 10 – TRUE MEANING OF LOVE:

    1. Accepting a person’s imperfections
    2. Being comfortable sat in silence with each other
    3. Travelling long distances to see each other
    4. Calling/messaging when you say you will
    5. Saving your loved one the last chocolate from the box
    6. Taking your partner out for a meal
    7. Surprising your partner with a holiday / trip away
    8. Warming up the bed for you
    9. Buying gifts
    10. Being quiet in the morning as you leave

    WORDS: Rob Knight

  • What’s the difference between marriage and civil partnerships?

    Are there differences between civil partnerships and marriage? Andrew Smith, Associate Solicitor for Blacks Solicitors’ Family Law team, answers the question.

    Is there difference between Civil Partnerships and marriage?

    What are the legal differences between a civil partnership and a marriage?

    “There are very few ‘legal’ differences between a civil partnership and a same-sex marriage. Civil partners cannot refer to themselves as ‘married’ and it is a different ceremony. On a certificate of civil partnership, both parents are named rather than just the father on a marriage certificate; but there is legally little difference between the two.”

    “The main differences are similar to those between a religious marriage and a civil ceremony undertaken by heterosexual couples; in regard to the formation, the ceremony, the administrative process and the certificates.

    “Somewhat controversially, one of the main differences is that civil partners are unable to cite the specific act of Adultery as the main reason for why the civil partnership has broken down. This is because the definition of adultery is sexual intercourse with someone of the opposite sex outside marriage. Instead, civil partners have to use ‘unfaithfulness’ as one of a number of examples of Unreasonable Behaviour.”

    What about divorce? Can civil partnered couples get divorced?

    What about divorce? Can civil partnered couples get divorced?

    “A married couple will have a ‘divorce’ whilst civil partners will have a ‘dissolution’ if they choose to separate. Therefore the answer is technically yes as although the terminology is different, it does mean the same thing in principle.”

    What about pension rights, are they the same between marriage and civil partnerships?

    “Up until very recently, this had been a grey area for those who retired prior to when the act was introduced.

    “The Walker v Innospec [2017] case which recently made the headlines challenged this and saw the Supreme Court unanimously allow Mr Walker’s appeal for his employer to pay his pension to his spouse in the event of his death, despite his service predating December 2005.

    “This fantastic result will pave the way for all same-sex couples in a similar situation, who are either married or in a civil partnership, to be able to leave their pension to their spouse.”

    If you have a LGBT legal query you would like to discuss with Andrew, please email him on AJSmith@LawBlacks.com or visit the website for more information: www.lawblacks.com

  • Got an American lover? here’s probably what turns him on

    Got an American lover? here’s probably what turns him on

    Neck kisses, nibbling and eye contact- new research reveals America’s 20 biggest turn-ons.

    (C) BIGSTOCK

    The new survey of 2,000 Americans saw kisses on the neck voted as officially the biggest turn-on, followed by your partner saying just three little words…

    According to the findings, a partner simply saying the words “I like that” in bed ranked the second most-appealing way to ramp up the mood.

    The study, conducted by sex toy retailer EdenFantasys.com, sought to uncover Americans’ biggest turn-ons and turn-offs and found that 76 percent of respondents like their partner giving them a little verbal reassurance in bed.

    A little nibbling on the ear was another high scorer on the turn-ons list, while eye-contact during sex was something that really got many a respondent going.

    Another saucy 46 percent of Americans say the presence of sex toys in bed is a total turn-on.

    The survey also split the results of the list by gender, which is where it gets really fascinating.

    For instance, it appears men get a lot more out of going down on their partner than women, with 76 percent of men reporting that going down on their partner is a turn-on for them compared to only 56 percent of women.

    In fact, nearly one in four (23 percent) of women reported that going down on their partner was a turn-off for them.

    Anal sex was another polarizing act — very polarizing. Over half of men (52 percent) called it a turn-on, compared to 19 percent of women. An incredible 57 percent of women actually consider it a complete turn-off.

    Being teased during sex was one thing women did like, however, and interestingly enough, it was the only thing that women said they liked more than men, with 52 percent of women calling it a turn-on compared to 49 percent of men.

    Not all turns ons have to be sexy

    But who said being turned on has to be a sexual act? The survey found a bevvy of inherently non-sexual things that are turn-ons.

    For instance, just smelling good was voted as the biggest non-sexual turn on, with 69 percent of the respondents labelling it as such.

    Simply being affectionate was the second biggest (64 percent), and making somebody feel appreciated rounded out the top three with 61 percent listing it as a turn on.

    “The study showed that non-physical affections are the biggest turn-ons for everyone, said Fred Petrenko of EdenFantasys.com. “‘All we need is love’ is as true today as it’s always been.”

    The survey also pinpointed 37 as the age when Americans are at their kinkiest overall.

    Being turned on isn’t such a rarity, either, with Americans saying they’re noticeably turned on three times every day, with one in five (19 percent) saying it’s actually more times than that.

    And it’s not necessarily in the evening when we feel this way, with the average American saying they’re most likely to be turned on at 2:46 p.m. As The Starland Vocal Band once famously sang: “Skyrockets in flight…”

    “Not surprisingly, sex toys are one of the major turn-ons for many couples,” continue Petrenko. “We encourage people to experiment more in the bedroom for a happier and sexier life.”

    AMERICA’S 20 BIGGEST TURN-ONS
    • Neck kisses
    • My partner telling me ‘I like that’
    • My partner undressing me
    • My partner going down on me
    • Undressing my partner
    • Nibbling my ear
    • Lingerie
    • Eye contact during sex
    • Going down on my partner
    • Being teased
    • Sex toys
    • Dirty talk in English
    • Partner doing a striptease
    • Being dominated
    • Partner being rough
    • My partner spanking me
    • My partner pulling my hair
    • Biting
    • Having to be quiet and sneaky (‘don’t wake the roommate’ etc.)
    Role-playing

     

    AMERICA’S 20 BIGGEST TURN-OFFS
    • Poor hygiene
    • Being mean • Being rude to waitstaff
    • Eating with mouth open
    • Being flirty with other people
    • Talking about exes
    • Being cocky
    • Talking too much/not listening
    • Dressing poorly
    • Baby talk
    • Insecurity
    • Long fingernails
    • Wearing too much cologne/perfume
    • Being cheap
    • Lack of confidence
    • Body hair
    • Being too ‘handsy’ in public
    • Bad driver
    • Poor taste in shoes
    • Calling me pet names in public

    TOP 5 TURN-ONS IN BED FOR MEN
    My partner telling me “I like that”   78%
    My partner going down on me       78%
    Undressing my partner                  78%
    Going down on my partner            76%
    Neck kisses                                   76%

    TOP 5 TURN-ONS IN BED FOR WOMEN
    Neck kisses                                  82%
    My partner telling me ‘I like that’   74%
    My partner undressing me           68%
    My partner going down on me     67%
    Undressing my partner                63%

    TOP 10 NON-SEXUAL TURN-ONS
    Smelling good              69%
    Being affectionate        64%
    Making me feel appreciated 61%
    Dressing nice              46%
    Intelligence                  45%
    Confidence                  43%
    Generosity                   39%
    Active listening            39%
    Playing with my hair    34%
    Being taller than me    28%

  • Is it common for gay guys to have open relationships?

    Is it common for gay guys to have open relationships?

    Is it unusual for gay and bi guys who are in relationships to open it up?

    (C) BELAMI

    Sometimes what we do in our own community might seem strange to those outside it, like this straight-identified man who took to Reddit to ask whether it was normal for gay guys to have open relationships after his gay friend confided in him that he was getting bored of married life after just one year and decided to have a threesome.

    Reddit gays were on hand to let him know that it’s not that uncommon that gay couples, but not always, to open up their relationships – to differing degrees.

    So what are those degrees of an open relationship?

    The door has a keyhole

    Where a couple might talk or fantasise about having a threesome or a four-way with another couple. It’s on the table, the discussion is happening, maybe they even watch threesome porn together, but they’re not physically committed yet.

    The door is open a crack

    There’s the casual threeway, where you both agree on the same person, set up a date and go for it.

    The screen door

    This is where a couple regularly has three ways, four ways or even attend orgies. They are okay with their partner having sex with other people and don’t necessarily have to be involved, as long as they are in the same room or building or event.

    The stable door

    Both parties of a relationship are “allowed” to go play with other people, but it’s strictly “don’t ask don’t tell” and “not in our bed”.

    The door is wide open

    This is where the couple is open and honest about having sex with other people. There still may be rules attached to the sex, like condoms only,  but generally, both parties in the relationship are happy about their partner having sex with someone else. The line would be drawn at creating an emotional attachment to someone outside the relationship.

    The Truple (the swing door??)

    I can’t take the door analogy any further but the truple is where a couple decides to open their relationship in all senses, sexually and emotionally and allow a third to become part of the family.

    (C) BIGSTOCK

    So, is it common?

    So going back to the Reddit guy – what was he asking? Well, he asked the AskGayMen community whether it was more common for amongst gay, married men to have threesomes, get bored of their relationships or play away dates with other guys.

    Here’s what Reddit had to say on the matter of open relationships amongst gay men.

    Really quite common

    It’s actually way more common for gay men to have open relationships than it is for straight couples. [VIA]

    Gay people are just, in general, more open about it with each other, whereas straight people often just cheat on each other.

    I think the gay way of doing things is a lot better. Pure sexual monogamy clearly doesn’t work for many people, and it’s nice to be able to be honest about it with my partner instead of lying to each other and destroying each others’ trust. [VIA]

    Maybe not about being bored

    I can’t speak for every gay man but for me I know I would love a threesome or even more. I think more context is needed around the “bored” part. Is he bored in general or just bored in the bedroom? [VIA]

    Open doors

    Most of the gay couples I know have open / semi-open relationships. My husband and I have been together for 14 years and are mostly monogamous but allow each other to have rare, limited things on the side. [VIA]

    Not a red flag

    The threeway isn’t a red flag. Pretty common. The “bored” comment is a red flag. After more than ten years, I’m still more entertained by six hours of silence in a car next to my spouse than I am by five minutes alone. [VIA]

    Our own rules

    Don’t worry about it – gays have their own rules. [VIA]

    So what do you think? Are you open to an open relationship?

  • What you should do when you fall in love with a guy that just isn’t interested

    What you should do when you fall in love with a guy that just isn’t interested

    It’s probably more common than we think, but falling in love with someone who doesn’t seem to love you back is painful.

    (C) BIGSTOCK

    We spoke to counsellor Daniel Browne who told us just because things haven’t progressed in the way that you might have hoped doesn’t mean that he’s not necessarily into you.

    He told us, “Being into someone who doesn’t reciprocate those feelings can be crushing. However, because things haven’t gone further with this incredible looking, funny guy it doesn’t mean that he’s not into you. Perhaps he likes to take things at a slower pace and get to know someone before he becomes intimate with them.

    “Maybe he’s absolutely into you but is not ready to take the next step yet. Of course, it is possible that he doesn’t have the same feelings for you that you have for him.

    Is it possible to be friends rather than lovers?

    Browne continues, “If that’s the case, then it sounds like you’ve made a great friend and that’s something to treasure. Give this relationship time and see where it goes. If it doesn’t develop into something more than friendship then as upsetting as that may be, you do have that companionship to enjoy. If it does develop into something more intimate, that’s something you can equally enjoy and it will have been worth the wait”.

     

  • Matchmaker tells followers that women’s partners are gay if do any of these things

    Matchmaker tells followers that women’s partners are gay if do any of these things

    Literally, WTF.

    Walking on the kerb… GAY! Free-Photos / Pixabay

    Good Ereseh who says he’s Africa’s first certified match-maker (we’re assuming people, not little flammable sticks) has shared a list with his near-15,000 followers which he called “Signs Your Boyfriend Is Secretly Gay”.

    1. He constantly stares at guys than women.
    2. He could be gay if he criticizes gay people too much.
    3. He could be gay if he appears to be too damn faithful.
    4. He could be swinging if you have no issues with him concerning other women.
    5. Ereseh actually leaves out number 5 for some reason?
    6. He keeps more male friends on social media than women.
    7. That brother could be holding blowing pipes, when he tries to avoid sex with you.
    8. He could be seeing guys when he doesn’t disturb you to have sex with him and on the other hand you thanking God that you have met a man that isn’t after sex.
    9. When he suggests you both invite a guy to bed so the both of them can satisfy you, sister run because he’s bringing his friend in to caption your brain thinking he is so understanding.
    10. When he cares too much about how he looks like female friends you have. There is something about it when he starts to care about his physical appearance.
    11. He wants to feel how you feel during penetration, he wants you to insert your finger down there.
    12. I repeat this, if he doesn’t check other women out he is completely gay. Don’t argue, he is not being faithful to you he just doesn’t find the need to feel attracted to women. Instead he talks about men more.
    13. If he praises a particular male friend of his than you the one that claims to hold his heart, trust me that guy could be his gay partner.
    14. He is classically touchy with other men, he enjoys hugs, holding hands and even loves the male bathroom hehehehehehe.
    15. He enjoys other’s sexuality, it’s an interesting topic for him, trust me nicca is gay.

    Basically, reading between the lines, what Ereseh is saying is that unless your man is a sex-addict, slime-ball, narcissistic jealous-flying-off-the-handle type of toxic male then he might be gay.

    SIGNS YOUR BOYFRIEND IS SECRETLY GAY. Part 1 • • 1. He constantly stares at guys than women 2. He could be gay if he criticizes gay people too much 3. He could be gay if he appears to be too damn faithful 4. He could be swinging if you have no issues with him concerning other women 6. He keeps more male friends on social media than women 7. That brother could be holding blowing pipes, when he tries to avoid sex with you. 8. He could be seeing guys when he doesn’t disturb you to have sex with him and on the other hand you thanking God that you have met a man that isn’t after sex • • Part 2 and 3 tomorrow morning please watch out #goodereseh

    A post shared by ???? ??????® (@goodereseh) on

    How about, if your boyfriend just tells you, “Sorry hun, I think I might be gay, let’s call the whole thing off” – is actually a sign that he might be gay.

    In case you’re interested Ereseh also says he’s a sex therapist, love doctor and counsellor.

  • DILEMMA | My boyfriend keeps hooking up with our threesome guy, without me

    DILEMMA | My boyfriend keeps hooking up with our threesome guy, without me

    What happens when your boyfriend won’t stop hooking up with the lad from your last threeway and doesn’t invite you?

    (C) BIGSTOCK

    My boyfriend keeps seeing a guy that we had a threesome with. This is even after I told him that I’m not cool or comfortable with it. I’ve told him straight to his face. I don’t have the courage to tell the other guy to knock it off.

    I really don’t know what to do. I love my boy and I’m sure he loves me but it hurts me that he’s insisting on seeing this other guy, outside of a threeway.

    What should I do?

    We asked two of our contributors to give their advice.

    Lee Henriques, writer

    First I’ve gotta ask – is this an open relationship? Do you normally allow a regular hookup/no strings attached situation between the two of you or is this guy someone your partner’s made an exception for?

    If it’s the latter, and it bothers you this much, it sounds cliché and obvious but you have to communicate your feelings. If you don’t, it’s going to build and become an even worse situation – but it’s a little confusing as to why he’s insisting on hooking up with this person in the first place; maybe ask him if he’d like to open the relationship (if it’s not already) or if you’d be interested, perhaps broach the topic of sharing your sexual experiences with a third person.

    It could benefit the both of you but make your boundaries clear. What’s bothering you the most? Is it the fact he’s hooking up with someone else or the fact that that person is someone you’ve both hooked up with in the first place?

    Communication and honesty are the key pillars of any relationship (thanks Cosmo) and if you’re uncomfortable you have to let him know. He probably wouldn’t want you being uncomfortable and keeping it bottled inside and if you love each other then you can make it work. It sounds like it’s just sex so maybe the other guy won’t even mind and will look elsewhere but if it continues and they both ignore your wishes, it’s hard to do but maybe re-evaluate the kind of relationship you want vs. the relationship you’re in.

    Hope this has helped – I’d love an update!


    Tom Driver, The Knee Jerk Columnist

    I don’t really see things like other people so if my interpretation of the situation is “off point” please forgive me.

    I read that you are threatened by this situation and suspect you may know why! As you have both hooked up with this guy in the past I guess you know what happens when he gets together with another man and will have an insight into what it is your bf sees in him.

    So I guess the resolution is can you do that for your bf and cut this third person out? Or are there similarities between him and you that identify the type of person your bf goes for and this is ringing alarm bells in your head?

    My other thought on it is the boundaries of your relationship and whether you are lacking the confidence to negotiate/set/impose them? It can be relationship changing to appear either dominant and insistent or insecure and frankly, this could appear to be both and more.

    Got to be honest fella, if the other guy has a heart and you know him I would be speaking to him and asking him to put himself in your shoes and show some respect for you and your relationship.

    In the final analysis: men like men and men like cock. All of that is tangible and real, relationships between men are based on the intangibles of love and trust, if that isn’t there then perhaps your bf is subtlety letting you know it’s time for you to look elsewhere too.


    Jake Hook, Editor

    Ultimately you should find out why your boyfriend wants to continue this other relationship without you. A future of any sort of relationship with him really does come down to this – and whether you’re prepared to accept the answer.

    What exactly is making you uncomfortable about his third-party hookups, because when you dig down to the root of your feelings, you’ll have your answer on what to do next.

    If he is set on continuing this relationship, you really only have three options. Dump, Live with it or Thruple it. Have you thought about opening the relationship as a thruple? If you’re all up for it it could be a beautiful addition to your life. Some people can make this work, but you will need a certain level of maturity, trust and open-mindedness.

     

     

    Have you got advice? Give it in the comments below.

    Have you got a dilemma you’d like us to advise you on? Click here to leave us your question.

  • This person couldn’t handle the fact that their husband “sharted” and the internet came… it came good

    This person couldn’t handle the fact that their husband “sharted” and the internet came… it came good

    “A human being is a human being & yes, shit happens!”

    Meditations / Pixabay

    An anonymous writer (we don’t know the gender, so we’ll use neutral pronouns) on Quora wrote that their husband accidentally “sharted” in front of them and now they just don’t feel attracted to the man anymore. That was the question and well the internet did not take too kindly.

    The general gist was that this person needs to get over it or divorce their husband, mainly for the husband’s sake.

    It, Shit Happens

    Colleen McFee, a palliative nurse said, “I’m saddened that you would even stoop this low. This is your husband & do remember, he is human. A human being is a human being & yes, shit happens!” She then invited the original poster to join her during one of her shifts, before adding, “If you no longer feel attraction for your husband, simply because he “accidentally sharted”, then you may NEVER have been that in love with him in the first place”.

    Most touching moment can come from illness

    Another user, Molly Maloney recounted the most touching moment between a couple when the woman in the couple had severe stomach flu. “She was stuck on the toilet with a bucket on her lap. Eventually her body decided it was all-systems-go and she wretched so hard in all directions that she passed out and toppled onto the floor. And that’s where her husband found her when he came home from work that evening. There she was, naked, covered in a smattering of every kind of bodily fluid, unconscious in a limp pile on the floor and with a busted lip to boot. Without so much as a word about it, he scooped her up, sponged her off, put her in clean jammies, and put her to bed. And yep, that’s disgusting. And that’s love.

    It could happen to you

    Penny Ladiner warned, “As they say, shit happens. Sometimes an innocent little fart turns into something more… tangible. Hasn’t it ever happened to you? If not, perhaps one day it will, through no fault of your own”.

    Love does see what disgusts us

    Paula Bass wrote, “My husband has witnessed me give birth to four children. He still finds me attractive. He has seen my doctor elbows deep in my abdominal cavity. He still finds me attractive. He gave me an enema when I was in excruciating pain from constipation following my last C-section. He still finds me attractive. I have gained and lost over 100 pounds over the course of our marriage. He has ALWAYS found me attractive, even when I found myself disgusting.

    “If love was solely based on attraction we’d ALL be screwed.”

    Why did you marry him?

    Perhaps it was Robert who put it best, “Why did you marry your husband? Did you think that he doesn’t have normal bowel functions? That he may not develop a serious illness which may cause him to bleed, vomit, shit, stink? What were your marriage vows about?

    If you are not “attracted” to him any more, then it may be best for you to leave him. For him, anyway.

     

    So could you handle it if your S/O had an accident in front of you? Why we’re at it, these discuss what they think when a poop incident happens during anal sex.

     

  • DILEMMA | I’ve fallen in love with a guy who doesn’t seem interested

    DILEMMA | I’ve fallen in love with a guy who doesn’t seem interested

    A reader falls in love with a guy who is giving off mixed signals. We ask some of our writers to give their best advice.

    (C) BIGSTOCK

    Dear TGUK

    “I’m so confused. I’ve met this guy online and we’ve met a couple of times. He even invited me to his place to sleep over – in his bed – but he rolled over as soon as we got in and fell fast asleep.

    I’m really into him, but I’m not sure he’s into me. He pays compliments and tells me I’m hot but when it feels like something more intimate might happen, I feel like I’m getting shunned. 

    He’s incredible looking and funny and I’d really like a relationship with him – or at the very least have some sex – but not sure what to do next.” IDS: Male, 25, Yorkshire

    Stuart Bird (Motoring Editor)

    Oww sausage. I feel for you. Been there many times but I’ve also been on the other side of it too.

    Attraction is a complex subject. Like the insides of a toaster. They look simple enough but there is a fine line in getting that bread not burned. That simple wiring and dial on the outside do a lot more than we give it credit for. It takes time and experimentation.

    It’s not always the visual they/you see. Sometimes they just aren’t into you. There are times when a relationship is better as a plutonic relationship. Getting into the nitty gritty can sour the good fun.

    Enjoy the fun and flirtations. You never know, it might happen. But if it doesn’t, never mind. You’ll have a fabulous friend for life.

     

    Daniel Browne Columnist and Warwickshire Pride Founder

    Firstly, I feel for you and can totally relate to this situation.

    Being into someone who doesn’t reciprocate those feelings can be crushing. However, because things haven’t gone further with this incredible looking, funny guy it doesn’t mean that he’s not into you. Perhaps he likes to take things at a slower pace and get to know someone before he becomes intimate with them.

    Maybe he’s absolutely into you but is not ready to take the next step yet. Of course, it is possible that he doesn’t have the same feelings for you that you have for him. If that’s the case, then it sounds like you’ve made a great friend and that’s something to treasure. Give this relationship time and see where it goes. If it doesn’t develop into something more than friendship then as upsetting as that may be, you do have that companionship to enjoy. If it does develop into something more intimate, that’s something you can equally enjoy and it will have been worth the wait.

    What do you think? Have your say in the comments below.

    Have you got a sexual health or emotional dilemma to ask us? Click here