This little trick is a stroke of genius and will help you with your staying power, according to one sexpert.
Premature Ejaculation affects lots of guys. Almost every guy has suffered at least one moment of “oh dammit” before spirting their load way before they actually wanted to.
However, there is a quick fix that requires no medicine, no trips to a doctor or psych evaluation. Nope, it’s something you can do, by yourself and nobody even has to know you’re doing it.
Sexpert and sex worker, Jack Devon, told us, “Despite what we see in porn, sex can be over pretty quickly and that’s completely normal… in fact, a study for the NHS, involving 500 couples showed that sex usually lasts around 5 and a half minutes, which is a long way off that 20-minute scene you’re enjoying on PornHub, but it can be incredibly annoying and frustrating, particularly for the guy that climaxes first, if they didn’t mean to…”
Spell out your name (or theirs)
So there’s a quick exercise to do before reaching out for medical intervention. Try spelling out your name.
Jack told us, “When you’re concentrating on something else, like spelling out your name even for a minute it can take you out of the moment and allow you to reset things, without stopping the action altogether. If you’ve only got a short name, try spelling out your entire name and then spell it backwards. Do this a few times until you feel your urge to climax subside.
According to Pharmacist Phil Day even taking some deep breaths can help as it “briefly shuts down the ejaculatory reflex (an automatic reflex of the body during which ejaculation occurs)”
The best thing about this move is that it’s completely free to try, so you’ve nothing to lose by trying it out.
Jack added, “Do it in your mind. Don’t actually speak it out loud, that’s not a great look, particularly if the guy is dirty talking to you and start spelling your name out loud.”
Dig deep into your Facebook tagged photos and find a nice when in the sun with a cocktail and a decent backdrop. If you’re stuck for choice, perhaps do what every other Grindr user does and take a selfie in the mirror of your local gym changing room. That way, at least everyone knows you keep fit.
Don’t…immediately send a dick pic
Striking up a conversation via a picture of your penis is like Victoria Beckham singing – sin against nature. Sending a blurry photo of your willy is not going to make anyone think “Let’s go Prezzo”. If you, for whatever reason, have an urgent need to send one, do it after at least a day of conversation and, as with your profile picture, make sure it is the best it could be. I’m talking about the right angle and the right filter – no one wants a photo with dodgy lighting.
Do…be grammatically correct.
“Hello, how are you?” sounds far better than “hey, u alrite?” so make sure to use your best grammar when trying to secure a date or even a bit of fun. No one is going to be enticed to have sex with you when you chat like a 14-year-old on MSN.
Don’t…slate gays in your bio.
“I like my men to be men”; “straight acting guys only; “if I can’t see your eyebrows then I don’t want to see you”. When devising your bio, try not to come across as a wanker. Some gay men decide to be their own enemy and it doesn’t exactly scream, “date me”.
Do…talk about safer sex.
Let’s be honest – most gay dating apps amount to anonymous sex with someone you’ve never met before and don’t really know much about except for the size of their penis so, let’s be clear, condoms, PrEP and regular testing if you’re sexually active are absolutely essential…
This article was first published in August 2015 and has been updated.
I love a good playlist; I’ve got one for every occasion. Whether I want to get hot and sweaty in the gym or need something to get me through the commute to the office. My favourite, and most exciting, is the one I’ve got going on for the bedroom. Either your gonna be turned off right now, or incredibly turned on.
Does your bone-ing session really need to be soundtracked? No, but it can help. There have been various studies that prove that sex and music really do go well together, and surprisingly it has a lot to do with science. Neurophysiologist Dr Rhonda Freeman says that “music is likely to affect three regions of the brain – the reward or pleasure system, the social affliction or bonding system, and the limbic system (which processes emotions)”.
So now we understand and are on the same page; here are my five essential picks to include in your next bedroom gymnastics session.
Britney Spears – “Breathe on Me”
This ‘In the Zone‘ deep cut is the perfect place to start. By 2003, Britney was becoming a full-on sexual seductress; and “Breathe on Me” is the perfect place to start. Turn the lights down low, let the pulsating beat take over and let your imagination run wild. This is the ideal song to get things hot and sweaty, foreplay is the place to start and with this little piece of pop-heaven, you’re guaranteed to get your man ready to bone within seconds. Listen to the lyrics and Britney will tell you exactly what to do; it’s as easy as riding a bike; “Monogamy is the way to go / Just put your lips together and blow”.
Kylie Minogue – “Slow”
“Read my body language” indeed. This synth-led sex bop is another great song to get you and your partner in the mood. This song gives you a little bit of time to breathe before the boning really gets going. Continue on with the foreplay and let the music guide you and your partner into the bedroom, slowly undressing as you make yourselves comfortable. Maybe use this to give your partner a sexy dance to help him get in the mood? Allow each other to explore your bodies. For the ultimate experience, I would opt for the Extended Mix which is bound to get you all hot under the collar.
Beyonce – “Crazy in Love”
We’re talking about the “Fifty Shades of Grey” version here. Although, if your in the mood to power bottom you could try the original version. This sultry reinterpretation of the dancefloor classic is going to get things moving a bit quicker, it’s the ideal song to experiment and get down and dirty too, whilst still giving a sensual edge. This is on my playlist a couple of times, because it just gets me going everytime.
Ariana Grande – “Side to Side”
Now we’re into balls to the wall, bone-ing territory. There are many Ariana Grande songs that you could use, but I always find “Side to Side” to be the one. Use the beat to get yourselves going and relax into it. it’s always best when both parties are relaxed, and things can progress naturally, the increase in tempo during the Minaj-Rap is perfect to intensify things, and any good bottom will be able to use moan those adlibs.
Josef Salvat – “in the afternoon”
This isn’t an obvious choice for many, but Salvat’s dulcet tones do many things to me. It’s the perfect post bonk comedown track. When your both depleted, it’s relaxing track which you can snuggle together and mellow in. “in the afternoon” is a bop and a half, that can spur on round two if you’re feeling that way inclined.
Obviously, these are just a selection of songs that you can use on your playlist, and there are many others. If you’re going to do this, then don’t just use a Spotify playlist that’s already been done, take some time to create your own and find stuff that you are into or your partner is into. It doesn’t have to be a marathon 10-hour playlist, 10/15 tracks that get you going is just fine, and don’t be afraid to experiment.
Remember, the best sex is where both parties are enjoying themselves, some people don’t enjoy sex to music, but it’s a conversation worth having and maybe you could create it together.
What does it mean if someone has “WS” written in their dating profile?
WS stands for Water Sports – and it has absolutely nothing to do with sailing, paragliding or water polo. No, it’s all to do with urine. It’s also known as The Golden Shower. It’s essentially the act of one (or two or three – or more) person peeing on, in or around someone else.
The various activities could include peeing on someone’s body, over their faces, even up their bums, which is a kind of pee enema. It could also include drinking urine, in fact, there are even devices you can use called piss troughs that can aid you in that pastime.
What do I need in order to do watersports?
The best thing about water-sports is that it’s free to set up and everybody can do it… regardless of their gender identity or their genitalia – as everyone pees!
Unless you’ve got rubber sheeting and a whole space set up for piss play, it’s probably best to do your Golden Shower in the bath or shower, which will make it really easy to clean up afterwards.
Piss play is generally safe in terms of passing on any infections. You can’t pass on HIV through piss play. However, according to GMFA, there is a risk of passing on CMV (which can cause cold sores or Chickenpox) or Salmonella if wee gets in your eyes or mouth.
One of the great things about piss play is that you can perform this act many times in a session, unlike cumming. All you need to do is keep drinking fluids!
Think about sex or a wank as water rafting down a river where at the end is a waterfall. In this scenario, climaxing (ejaculation) is the waterfall. Edging would be taking your raft right to the fall’s edge and stopping just before the spill, waiting a moment (maybe pulling back the raft another 100 metres) and starting up all over again.
Lots of guys know that once they’ve cummed, post-nut clarity sets in and we can feel, well a little less sexy than we did in the previous moment and cumming too quickly can spoil the fun… so learning to edge is a way of extending your playtime, while still getting amazing sensations.
It’s a fine art and some guys are totally into it – and can make a sex or a wank session last for hours. And they say that the final “spill” is pretty epic.
Practising edging can actually help guys to are prone to PE (premature ejaculation) to control their climax and potentially make them last longer.
It’s about taking yourself, or another guy, if you’re edging him right up to sexual ecstasy and the hitting the reset button so that you can go all over again.
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If you’re edging someone else, communication is key, but subtle signs from your partner’s body will tell you when he’s close to cumming (his balls might start to contract up towards his body, or his breathing might become more shallow for instance). Read those signs and ease off… Start all over again after a moment.
If you’re no stranger to bottoming then you’ll know the feeling of douching and the fear that what you’ve done is never enough. That whole process can be quite stressful and there can be times, when you think ‘how much more can there actually be’. This is particularly true if you over douche, which means that you unlodged your lunch, which probably wouldn’t have come out for another 12-24 hours. But poop is like a genie, once it’s been disturbed, you can’t just stuff it back in, which could mean another 20 minutes of douching.
It’s very time consuming.
So when I heard that there were pills and supplements out there that can help with ensuring you stay and remain “ready” with little or no preparation I was intrigued. After all who doesn’t want a quick fix, right?
There are numerous products out there that are aimed at gay men… but they are, in reality quite expensive and require a regime which needs you to remember to take multiple pills a day at various times. That’s just way too much effort for my liking.
So I did some reading and it turns out the main ingredient of these supplements is a totally natural foodstuff called psyllium husk. Which when bought in powder form is incredibly cheap.
Psyllium husk is a highly effective fibre source which acts a bit like a sponge, soaking up the water content in your gut and helping to bind all your poo together, making your poop more “together” (one lump or two?), but crucially softer making your bowel movements much easier and well-formed, in one or two larger more solid masses. It also has other health benefits as it’s prebiotic, helping to colonise your gut with probiotics.
The result
Well, after a week the difference was noticeable. Pooping was easier, felt good and solid and, without being too graphic, my butthole seemed pretty clean afterwards as wiping would reveal a tissue that, for the most part, clear of smears.
I bought Psyllium Husk by Bulk Powders, which is currently around £15.07 on Amazon (prices vary) and it’s very simple to use. Just one scoop a day in a glass of water. That’s it.
What does it mean if someone has DL written in their dating profile?
Well, DL stands for “down-low” essentially meaning discreet. Usually, the guy with DL written on his profile probably won’t have a picture on his profile either and his profile may contain limited information about what he’s into, where he is or any other identifiable information.
There may be a number of reasons why someone is on the down-low or describes themselves as discreet and you shouldn’t always jump to conclusions about their reasons.
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They might not be out to family and friends, they may even identify as straight but like sex with guys, he may be married or have a partner, or they may even have a job which might require them to have discretion on who sees or has access to their profiles, like, for instance, a school teacher who wouldn’t want their students to see their dating profile.
If you’re interested in why someone is discreet, then you can always ask, it could be a good conversation starter.
Speaking his mind, porn star Mr Cali gave a crucial piece of advice for those who are new to porn, or who want a career in adult entertainment.
Speaking on the Demystifying Gay Porn podcast, adult star Mr Cali gave an incredible piece of advice for newbies starting out in porn and it had nothing to do with douching, cock size or being able to take an arm.
No, his advice was very straight forward and it was simply to know your worth.
Speaking to I. Que Grande Cali said, “I would tell my young self, to own and value your worth. Know who you are and tell them (the studio) what you deserve. Walk into the situation knowing you need this amount of money. You have a budget for who you are.
“You’re valued, but you don’t know it walking through”.
Ⓒ NOIR MALE Cali has shot for studios like Noir Male as well as having his own very popular fan’s site.
Know when to say “No”
He then added, “Don’t say yes to everything, sometimes you got to say no and walk away”.
Sounds very sage to us and pretty relevant to all walks of life.
The pharmaceutical firm Pfizer and BioNTech has announced that it has developed a vaccine it says is 90% effective in preventing COVID-19 and the jokes are in.
The firm said in a statement, “Pfizer and BioNTech said the vaccine was “found to be more than 90% effective in preventing Covid-19 in participants without evidence of prior Sars-CoV-2 infection in the first interim efficacy analysis”
Although it’s not publicly available yet, the new vaccine, which could be used in the global fight against COVID-19 is apparently “90% effective” according to numerous media outlets, including The Guardian.
Pfizer the vaccine’s maker, also makes the erection pill, Viagra.
Of course, it didn’t take too long for Twitter to climax with boner jokes, with Piers Morgan, leading the way saying,
So @pfizer gave the world Viagra, and now looks like it's giving us a Covid vaccine. Most popular firm – pun intended – in history?
Viagra is trending. Can't see that staying up too long.* … … * I'll get my own coat 🤭
— Zionists are more handsome than Jew Haters (@uk_rants) November 9, 2020
Lets hope this vaccine is effectively and combined with peoples compliance to simple rules we can all embrace the new normal and have some normality. On a side note, lets hope they don't mix it up with viagra, that would really make the 2020 even harder.
Over 238,000 people have died from Coronavirus-related complications in the USA since the beginning of the pandemic. Worldwide over a million people have died and there have been over 10 million reported cases.
Dave Chappelle made the observation during a piece for a Saturday Night Live broadcast on NBC, and the joke has been panned by many on social media as unfunny and awkward.
The joke was “Trump getting Coronavirus was like when Freddie Mercury got AIDS. Nobody was like, “well, how did he get it?”
Matthew Hodson the Executive Director of AIDSMAP and a long time HIV advocate, in response to the clip, wrote, “AIDS jokes. Not funny in the 1980s. Not funny now.”
Writer, Jack King wrote, “forever exhausting that people will deem it acceptable to exploit queer trauma for laughs”.
forever exhausting that people will deem it acceptable to exploit queer trauma for laughs but go all “i pretend i did not see it” when functional comparisons to the crisis, those which could *actually* help us with the present predicament, are brought to the fore
Chappelle is no stranger to using language and material that critics have slammed as transphobic and homophobic. In the past, he targetted Caitlyn Jenner by saying,
“I read in the paper that Caitlyn Jenner was contemplating posing nude in an upcoming issue of Sports Illustrated.
“And I knew it was politically incorrect to say, so I figured I’d just say it for everybody — yuck.
“F***, man, I just want to read some stats, like why are you cramming man-pussy in the middle of the sports page like that?”
It seems Chappelle’s go-to voice to portray gay men is “high-pitched, over-enunciated, effete” notes The New Republic. In one joke over deciding which man of a same-sex partner was “the wife” he quipped, “whichever one of you is gayer, that’s the wife.”
In 2018 he made a joke about Star Trek Discovery actor, Anthony Rapp and his sexual abuse accusation against Kevin Spacey, seemingly suggesting that Rapp was okay as he “grew up to be gay anyway. and “And not to victim-blame, but it seems like the kind of situation that a gay 14-year-old kid would get himself into.”
Many of us are eager to travel internationally again and 2021 is just around the corner. Once travel is safe and borders reopen, the question of where to visit next is top of mind. Major destinations like Paris, New York and London all have unrivalled gay scenes and are excellent cities to visit. However, there are endless fantastic places that are often overlooked in favour of their larger counterparts.
Here are five of the best alternative cities to visit on your next adventure.
Most visitors to Germany head straight for the capital Berlin but lying some 600km to the west on the banks of the Rhine River is one of the best alternative cities – Cologne. The eclectic range of Veedel or ‘city quarters’ are famed for their independent bookshops, fashionable restaurants and excellent bars – the most popular Veedel is the perennially cool Agnesviertel. You can even find a small collection of LGBT+ shops in Cologne including Best of, with gear like leather, rubber, gay underwear brands and accessories.
Once the largest city in the Holy Roman Empire, today the city is one of Europe’s most underrated destinations for gay travelers. The Kölner Dom dominates the skyline and is the city’s primary attractions. It’s free to enter but don’t waste your money paying for admission to the tower. If you’re into art, then the Ludwig Museum hosts an impressive collection of modern exhibits and hosts an array of rotating guest shows.
Billed as the second city in the UK, Manchester is famed for Oasis, Emmeline Pankhurst and the world’s longest-running television drama – Coronation Street. The city is packed with excellent museums, fantastic restaurants and a world-famous gay scene – Canal Street. Manchester’s industrial past is evident in its red brick architecture which still adorns much of the city today, much of which is the canvas for some inspiring street art.
To explore more of the city’s heritage then visit The People’s History Museum and the Museum of Science and History. The Whitworth Art Gallery and the Imperial War Museum North are another two informative, and free, places you should check out. The Northern Quarter is the city’s bohemian, queer district, filled with eclectic pubs, speakeasy cocktails bars and artisan coffee hangouts making Manchester one of the best alternative cities to visit in the UK.
The state capital of Texas is one of America’s underrated gems. The ‘Keep Austin Weird’ slogan can be seen emblazoned on shirts and stickers across the city – a show of determination of Austin’s residents to keep their city a beacon of bohemianism.
While the city is short on traditional landmarks, there is an abundance of cultural activity taking place in the boutique bars, restaurants and cafes centered in the Downtown region. The University campus is well-worth visiting for its grand architecture – quite unique in Texas and if you enjoy the great outdoors then Barton Creek Greenbelt is just moments from the city center and will satisfy your trekking desires.
Edinburgh has enchanted visitors for decades and its rugged scenery, cosy pubs and ancient architecture. While it retains its historic charms, it has also adopted a metropolitan vibe and today is an excellent choice for LGBT+ travellers. Though the city doesn’t have a particularly large gay scene, there are a few gay bars in town worth visiting where you can connect with locals.
One of the most popular events in the city is Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Attending for the event is the perfect reason to go on a holiday to Edinburgh to enjoy all the beautiful historical sights, landscapes and culinary delights while also getting knee deep in modern culture. This is Edinburgh’s Christmas, and the Fringe really is the gift that keeps on giving.
You can also head beyond the capital by car or train and discover the magnificent Scottish Highlands. Inverness is the main city here and can be used as a base to explore the wild outdoors or you can rent a cosy mountain cabin or traditional cottage where you enjoy the beautify landscapes of Scotland.
Despite the fact that Greece is one of the European countries still fighting for full marriage equality it still remains one of the most vibrant gay destinations spots in the world. Mykonos is perhaps the more well-known destination and traditional gay mecca but other Greek cities and islands are not to be missed. Of course, the capital city of Athens is home to the world-famous Acropolis along with a number of other excellent attractions. This ancient city is a collection of structures and fortifications – the most famous of which is The Parthenon. Make sure you also visit the Acropolis Museum, hosting a fantastic collection of Greek art.
The Panathenaic Stadium & Olympic Stadium is the oldest ancient building in Athens and is a wonder to behold. Constructed in 335 BC it was the home of the Panathenaic Games and rebuilt in 1896 for the modern Olympics. It seats a staggering 60,000 spectators in its 47 tiers and it is the only stadium in the world which is built entirely of marble. Greek food is also fantastic and is actually much cheaper in the city than on the islands, so Athens is great for foodies on a budget.
Auston runs the blog Two Bad Tourists and is also a freelance writer. His work has been featured in many publications including The Gay UK, Attitude Magazine, Edge Media Network, The Houston Chronicle and ManAboutWorld Magazine.
