The UK has a multitude of accents from Glaswegian to Brummie. But which one has been voted the most attractive?
Is Alan Cumming’s accent the sexiest?
Research carried out by YouGov in April, has shown that “Scottish” accents are the most attractive in the UK, leaving RP (received pronunciation – that’s the standard British accent – think BBC newsreaders and the home counties) in second and Welsh in third. The accents were voted, 20 per cent, 18 per cent and 11 per cent respectively.
Unfortunately for those living in the Midlands or Essex, the Brummie accent and the Towie accent didn’t place well – each received just 1 per cent of the vote.
Far outweighing the preference was the ‘don’t knowers’ and ‘don’t carers’ – 29 per cent of whom said they couldn’t give a flying monkey’s what accent was most attractive.
Don’t Know 29%
Scottish 20%
RP 18%
Welsh 11%
West Country 10%
Northern Ireland 8%
Mancunian 3%
Essex 1%
Brummie 1%
The research doesn’t expand on which Scottish or Welsh accents are the most attractive.
As a kid growing up I was always fascinated with the muscular bare chested men in Disney films. As an adult, sadly these fascinations have stuck with me. Yes I admit, cartoon men in unrealistic realms do it for me. So who were your Disney crushes? Which characters did you wish were gay?
1. Aladdin – Aladdin
A flying carpet, knows someone who can get you anything you want – no questions asked – and a pet monkey. None of these even matter when you have a toned body, smooth and waiting to have baby oil rubbed in all over! Ok, I’m good, he’s just a drawing… When will someone show me the world?
2. Tarzan – Tarzan
He may be a swinger but who wouldn’t want to live in the trees? Holding on to his warm muscular body feeling the wind in your hair, before returning to the tree house for forest fruits, waterfall wine and a game of ‘what’s being smuggled in the loin cloth’.
3. Prince Charming – Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
Just one kiss would break the spell. Just one kiss. Some guys it takes 7 pints to break the spell! How could any man not fall for this dashing well presented man. A stack of cash, flash transport and a large castle. I’ve always wanted to live in a castle.
4. Bashful – Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
How could any man resist those eyes? Ok so the charm may wear off after 5 minutes and you may end up wanting to slap him and scream ‘Oh for goodness sake get a grip’, yet there is some charm here and at least he’ll be out all day working. May want to buy him a razor for Christmas.
5. Prince Eric – The Little Mermaid
Another good looking prince, quite possibly the twin brother of Aladdin… Muscular and rich this Prince would make a perfect hubby, just don’t take him shopping for a garden pond, it may bring back past problems he’s faced falling in love with sea-creatures and that took a lot of counselling to correct.
6. Lucius Best – The Incredibles
What a hunk and he comes in his own lyrca suit – which happens to be right up there in perfect boyfriend material along with financial security, emotional stabilty and the ability to drive. Also Lucius has the ability to make ice on demand – perfect for our Long Island Ice Teas and G&Ts.
7. Prince Edward – Enchanted
CREDIT: Disney
What can I say, he’s a Prince and I’ve always loved a man in velvet. You’d have to be careful with this one though, one minute he’s in the real world, next he’s in the realms of fantasy… hmm maybe not that bad after all. Can be a little clumsy but that only adds to his charm.
8. Sulley – Monsters Inc
CREDIT: Disney
Look who’s coming out the closet. The Ultimate Bear. An interesting colour choice, which may not go down too well at XXL, but would be every baby bear’s dream. Cuddly, a great laugh and when required able to fight off any of life’s problems with an almighty roar!
9. Woody – Toy Story
CREDIT: Disney
Wouldn’t we all love a woody in our life? Always up and ready for action, this go get ’em cowboy may not be top of the list for fashion or designer labels but he is very good with a rope.
10. Donald Duck – Cartoons
Usually dressed as a sailor and often enjoys a good joke, at other peoples’ misfortunes, this little duck just needed some male companion to keep him out of trouble (or get him into more). However he is prone to tantrums when things don’t go his way so requires someone very patient.
“I think they were wrong and out of place. And I think that we all gotta watch what we say… That was from the Old Testament, so you got to give him a little bit of room. I got a lot of gay friends… I’m a little bit gay myself.”
During an interview with Harry and Liam from the world’s most successful boy band, Harry dropped a rather heavy hint that perhaps his sexuality maybe isn’t just that of heterosexual.
Harry and Liam were asked what they looked for in a partner, Liam answered,
Sinead O’Connor came out and then went back in again. She said in an interview with Entertainment Weekly that she was three-quarters heterosexual.
David Bowie
David Bowie came out as gay in 1972 during an interview with Melody Maker, then he came out as bisexual in 1976 in an interview with Playboy. However, by 1983, he said that coming out as bisexual was the biggest mistake I ever made” and “I was always a closet heterosexual”. David Bowie was married to two women during his life, Angie Barnett and Iman Mohamed Abdulmajid.
Who’s the woman? Doesn’t it hurt? Why do you wear jockstraps? So many many questions…
That it ends up with penetration.
In this penetration obsessed world we forget that not every sexual encounter has to end up with a game of toss the hoop. Nope there’s a ton of things you can do without going there. Frottage, mutual masturbation, oral and perhaps a bit of light cuddling?
That there are very limited positions
One evening a girl friend of mine asked didn’t I get bored because I couldn’t face my partner during sex. I was like “WTF?” She was like “you’re your butt hole is at the back…”
Listen… our joints can move… and our hips can tilt! We’re not fused into position. Anything you can do I can do better. Basically anything the straights can do in bed, the gays can compete just as well.
That it looks like this: Westboro Baptist Church
Westboro Baptist church would have you believe that gay men only have sex standing up facing away of each other. Such a warped view… Although that position is a goodun.
That only one of you is the top and only one of you is the bottom.
We can both top and bottom and all in one session. Crazy that. You don’t have to be limited to just one set of roles.
That you both have to cum
Where are all these rules coming from? It’s sex. Do what makes you happy. If you don’t want or can’t cum in the moment, don’t stress about it. Keep calm and try later! It’s not a race or a competition.
ADVERT
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That you have to have 7/8/9/19 inch penises
Regardless of what you may see in gay porn, men come in all shapes, sizes, colours and girths – and what makes one person’s perfect penis may be somebody else’s vanilla hell.
We aren’t all one shape fits all. Each person is different but if it does hurt. Stop, relax and try more lube and try again – if you want to.
That gay men end up having to use sanitary towels.
We’re convinced this is an urban legend. If you keep yourself safe and aren’t swallowing up whole traffic cones with your butthole , you’ll be just fine.
If you feel like you’re getting loose down there, try some PC muscle exercises… You know the muscles that you use to stop and start the flow of pee? Yes those babies… Work em out.
That one of you has to be “the man” and the other “the woman”
Stop with the roles already. We’re both men here!
It’s how you get HIV
Where to go with this. HIV is a virus that knows no sexuality, race, colour creed or gender. You can be infected from all different types of sex. As with everything in life use your head not your cock to make wise decisions about your health. Use a condom, use lots of lube and look out for one another.
This week a concerned reader from Kings Lynn finds out about his new bae’s interest in light bondage. Aunty responds the only way she knows how…
Aunty,
I met a guy online and he seemed my type, funny, smart and was self sufficient. However after a few dates he started telling me he’s into light bondage and would I be into trying?
I’ve never done this before and am scared it could hurt.
What I should do?
Thanks,
Kev.
Kev dear,
Key here is he said “light bondage”. He didn’t say he wanted to lock you up for a week with a live kipper tied to your balls.
Likely hood is he’ll want to tie your hands, maybe some gentle spanking, and then give you the ride of your life. I’m actually quite jealous. If it doesn’t work out then let me know and I’ll be happy to take your place! Of course, remember to have a safe word to stop the exploring should you get uncomfortable.
This doesn’t always work though.
I once had a guy slinged up who kept crying “lemons”.
I’d inserted four of the bloody things up him before I remembered, that was our safe word and not a request. But I’m sure you’ll be fine.
Have fun.
xx
If you’d like to get in touch for a real honest bit of advice the contact me at: DrunkenLush@TheGayUK.com
This week the internet’s most vicious agony aunt helps or hinders a reader who finds that his boyfriend has pictures of other men’s penises on his phone.
Aunty
Dear Aunty,
I’ve been seeing a guy for about 3 months now and the other night I was looking through his phone and found pictures of another guys c**k. Should I talk to him about this or put it down to men being men? Joe.
Dearest Joe
There’s nothing less exciting in life than men sending each other pictures of their bits and bobs. Yes it’s a dangly bit of flesh, some big, some small, some decorated with silver jewels, but in the end it’s a picture. Nothing beats the feel, the smell, the taste of the real thing and if the new bf is busying himself with pics of others, which may just be fantasies, or more, then it’s time to kick him to the curb and find yourself a man who’ll give you his full, hard loving attention… hopefully over and over again!
