With the Valentine’s nuts going crazy for the impending day of “love” we reflect on why it’s great to be single.

1) I don’t have to worry about you want to eat.

Tonight I want tacos. You want spaghetti… Tachetti it is then… Damn compromising.

 

2) My bed, my farts.

I don’t have to worry about trumping in bed. Hurrah. Trump trump trump.

 

3) My remote.

Ha ha ha!  Netflix and chill has a whole new meaning for me.

 

4) Self loving.

I know exactly what gets me off and I ain’t afraid to do it.

 

5) Time to think

We’re all time poor and being alone gives me time to spend doing things that I wouldn’t otherwise get the chance to.

 

6) Dates, dates and more dates

Nothing like a bit of date night and the expectation of that first kiss

 

7) My cat is the only relationship I need

My cat loves me unconditionally… sometimes.

 

8) I get to keep up with who’s who on Grindr.

Yep. Even though I’m single I see so much peen. So much peen.

9) There’s literally no one to tell me that I shouldn’t drink anymore.

Yay me.

10) I don’t have to sleep on that one slither of bed

Or deal with stolen duvet all night.

 

11) I cannot be cheated on.

No broken hearts for me.

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12) I can listen to all my coupled mates harp on about their woes and partner troubles and think.

Thank f that ain’t me

 

 

13) Life is one sexabout.

Like picking apples from the tree. I’m out testing the orchard and having a lot of fun on the way.

 

 

14) I can have a threesome

and be the one to walk away

 

 

15) I have a tonne of horrying date night stories for my friends.

I’m literally a walking standup show with my tales.

 

16) I can relax.

CREDIT: Netflix/YouTube
CREDIT: Netflix/YouTube

No one is going to come in half way through my House Of Cards marathon and start blathering on about their day

 

17) I don’t have clear my browser’s history.

©-lofilolo-Depositphotos

“The internet is for porn”

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18) I never have to see a movie with Lindsay Lohan in it ever again.

Wednesday’s we wear vomit.

 

 

19) Every outing is an opportunity to meet new guys…

It’s a big world out there.

 

20) I’m always right

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