You should definitely be cleaning your sex toys after use, particularly if the toys you are using are up-the-butt toys.
You see, your ass, even after douching is still filled with bacteria and germs that you won’t want sitting around on a toy’s surface, laying in your bottom drawer over a period of time.
This could lead to nasty stomach upsets and illness.
You may also find that any lube residue left on your toy could melt it between uses. Yes, this happens – all depending on what material your toy is made from and the type of lube you used.
So it’s best to clean your toys after each usage.
Water or Toy Cleaner?
You can buy a special sex toy cleaner – our partner shop sells a range of these, or you can use warm soapy water. We particularly recommend the Bathmate Clean Misting Toy Cleaner, which is really easy to use, simply wipe off any debris (you know what we mean!) mist it with the cleaner, rub it in and then rise off.
If you use a toy cleaner, you’ll also be disinfecting it, killing off all those nasty bacteria.
Make sure when cleaning your toy, that you clean out all of the ridges and if it’s a realistic dildo, make sure you clean around the head and all of the veins.
Using condoms on your toys
Using a condom on your toy when you use it will mean that you won’t need to wash it as thoroughly, but it is advisable to give it a wipe down to get rid of any chemicals that transfer from the inside of a condom to your toy.
Storing your toy
Once you’ve clean your toy, dry it off with a towel until it’s perfectly dry and if it came with a protective pouch, insert it back in there.
If it didn’t come with a pouch, an old sock will work just as well.
Inserting it into a sock or pouch protects the toy’s material coming into contact with other toys – which can cause them to melt as some materials even react with other materials.
It isn’t pretty and can get quite expensive.
Penis toys and masturbators
If your toy is for penis play, like a Fleshjack or even the Satifyer Men’s Wand (pictured above) you should still give it a good clean after use. If you’ve jizzed over or in your toy, you won’t want to find it, next time you come to use it, covered with stale, crispy semen… Or may you do… But to ensure the longevity of your toy, it’s best to clean it after each use.
Despite the on-going Covid-19 pandemic, The world-famous Naked Rugby Players return with a new calendar The Naked Rugby Players – Unseen Bits for 2021 and is one of our favourite LGBT+ Calendars. Best of al it features never seen before images!
Speaking about the changes the calendar had to make during 2020, principal photographer Monty McKinnen told us, “It sadly turned out to be impossible to shoot 6 rugby teams during 2020 as the pandemic raged through our communities and everyone kept at social distances”
“Despite this, we’ve rummaged through the thousands of images from our past shoots to bring fans of the calendar never before seen pictures, from 12 teams across the UK.”
84 Naked Rugby Players
The Naked Rugby Players Calendar 2021 – Unseen Bits features 84 players from twelve Inclusive Rugby teams from across the UK.
Once again the calendar has teamed up with the Balls To Cancer charity to bring awareness of male cancers and features a monthly reminder to check ourselves for any unusual signs.
If you’ve had enough of Grindr there’s always Scruff…
Scruff is the other big gay hook up app and it is one of the more highly rated of all the big names according to our research. However, an interesting feature, which you might not know about actually gives a pretty insightful look at who your perfect guy is, even if you’re not actually sure who he is.
So, I was looking at the “Insights” section on my own profile. You get there by clicking on your own photo and scrolling down until you see the “Insights” button.
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Usually, Insights is a paid-for feature for other profiles, but it’s free to see your own insight and it has to be said I love a bit of ANALytics. See what I did there? #SorryNotSorry.
What is Insights on Scruff?
It gives you a rundown of who you respond to and how often you do it which when you check out their charts can be quite interesting.
It shows you how often you respond to messages and the breaks that down by the community you most often answer, their age bracket and interestingly their body hair.
Your eyes tell a different story to your heart
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You see, subconsciously you may be answering more messages from certain types of guys without even knowing it.
So apparently, if you hit me up on Scruff, you’re most likely going to get an answer if you’re from the Geek Community (apparently I answer them 40% of the time) If you’re 26-35 (I answer those guys 60% of the time) and if you’re hairy (67%).
Weirdly, if you ask me what my type was I’d say maybe Ryan Phillipe circa 2001 or Jeffrey Bowyer Chapman or even Sir Patrick Stewart, but actually, my eyes and my ding dong clearly answer the mating call to geeky, hairy 30-somethings. Go them – actually, go me!
With England’s latest lockdown ending in just over a week many bars, and in particular many LGBT+ venues are really feeling the pinch. One gay bar in Birmingham has said it might be time to”call it a day”.
One of the issues facing many bars, but in particular gay bars, is that many aren’t equipped to serve food – which is one of the requirements for pubs to be able to open in at least two Tiers of the Government’s system. Bars which solely sell drink are unable to open in Tier 2 and Tier 3. Only bars which sell “substantial” food can open in Tier 2 and can only operate as takeouts in Tier 3.
With most of the country expected to be entered into Tier 2 or 3 when Boris Johnson announces the Tier system in the next few days, the Equator bar in Birmingham announced that it might have to close forever, adding “Equator bar is not a restaurant so will not be allowed to open in Tier 2” and added, “Maybe time to call it a day”.
If the Equator Bar, which has been operating for over 15 years, does close it will be the second bar in Birmingham to have fallen victim to the economic woes faced by the hospitality industry due to the Government’s handling of the current Coronavirus pandemic.
Speaking to THEGAYUK.com the owner said, “It’s devastating that customers cannot come to their local community bar. We haven’t had a single case that I know of…
“I’ve been here 18 years and not sure how much longer we can stay closed with no help from the gov”.
Not the first victim of the devastating Tier system
The Tier system used in England has brought economic hardship for many businesses, but in particular for social-based businesses like pubs and bars.
Nightclubs have not been able to open since March.
In Tier 2, which most of England is expected to enter come the 2nd of December does not allow for household mixing, meaning that friends and family from different households are unable to meet in public, including in pubs and restaurants. In Tier 3 all bars and restaurants must close and are only permitted to operate as a food takeaway.
Bars and pubs across England have spent huge sums of money on becoming “COVID-secure” and have restricted their capacities in order to aid with social distancing, adding extra pressure on their bottom lines.
Writing about the latest announcement from Boris Johnson, the Royal Vauxhall Tavern in London tweeted, “We are all stuck in the worst possible purgatory with the worst possible ruler”
We are all stuck in the worst possible purgatory with the worst possible ruler
Okay. Show of hands. Who’s had the experience of dating a fuckboy? We all know them! It’s that guy. You know; you know, the one who doesn’t respect you but relies on you all the time. He’s distant. He doesn’t care about your time. He won’t commit. He’s self-absorbed, does stupid things and fucks with other’s emotions. I feel like the majority of the guys I’ve been with or had any form of chemistry with have been fuckboys and it’s had a bit of a negative impact on my dating life, or actually, lack off. I’ve been used so many times by fuckboys that it’s become the norm for me to keep going back to them.
How do you spot a fuckboy?
Beware the fuckboy
It would be easy if they walked around with a sign above their head saying “Avoid like COVID. I’m gonna text you once in three months, then you’re gonna come over and give me the best head ever”.
Alas, life isn’t all black and white.
It was a while before I experienced a true fuckboy. I don’t have any contact with him now, only maybe when I’m a little bit tipsy and I might slide into his DM’s. I’ve met a few since then and developed a keen eye to spot them. So, here are my tips for spotting the fuckboys.
They will do or say anything to have sex
(C) BIGSTOCK
This is the first big red flag. There’s no romance involved. A true fuckboy will literally do or say anything to get you into bed. These include flattery, gaslighting and grovelling. Nothing is too low for them to try. The worst thing though is that they will do all this whilst actually do the bare minimum whilst doing it. They want to do it all on their terms. They will decide it, they will just sit there and let you crack on. Don’t forget; they don’t call them jobs for nothing.
They’ll hang out with a lot of men
Now, this might seem trivial; but they’ll always have a number of guys on the go at the same times. If they’re not committing; it’s probably because they’re playing the field and shagging a couple of blokes at the same time. They like to have options. They want to know that there are people around them that they could have sex with if they wanted it; and well, we all know gay men. They’re randy little blighters and probably be boning a different guy every night.
They’ll always be a little fragile
If you tell them you can’t hang out tonight – you’ve just caused world war three. They’ll barrage you with texts about how flakey you are, or you’ll get a torrent of abuse and probably turn it round and accuse you of being a fuckboy. You can’t hold them accountable either; they don’t like that one little bit. Fuckboys are unable to accept any form of responsibilty for their poor behaviour.
Don’t even start. They won’t change because they do not want to. They will do what they want to do because their world revolves completely around them. They do not care about anyone else but themselves. THEY ARE USERS.
Fuckboys aren’t nasty, horrible, people
They just don’t know how to have serious, mature relationships. You should pity them; and get rid of them. It might be hard at the start, but it’s gonna be better for you in the long run. You’re gonna be a stronger person for it. If you recognise some of this behaviour then congratulations; you’ve admitted it. Now you can start some make some changes in your life. Most fuckboys would never acknowledge it, so the fact you actually have, means you have the possibility to change.
The sad thing is that; fuckboys are out there, and you need to be aware. Also remember, that there are decent guys out who aren’t like that all; and that’s something that we all should covet.
A survey has shown that a majority of men want to be able to cry more without the fear of being judged, because of, yep, toxic masculinity.
But crying isn’t the only activity men want to do more of. According to a recent YouGov poll currently, one in twenty men now wear makeup, but the number of those who would actually want to wear it is far higher.
A new survey of around 1,200 men conducted by Direct2Florist shows that if it wasn’t for the fear of being judged a whopping 65% would wear makeup.
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And judgement from others wasn’t just stopping guys from applying some foundation. Shockingly 73% would be more physically affectionate with friends, 70% would like to admit they loved bubble baths and weirdly 55% said they’d read more novels by female authors if they didn’t feel so judged.
This week, Harry Styles sparks debate by appearing on the cover of Vogue in a dress.
Whilst trends are changing, it’s clear there’s a push-and-pull between toxic masculinity and changing gender roles.
Toxic masculinity and its prevalence in society is holding back men from doing so much, including, loving musicals, loving bubble baths and worryingly crying in front of other people.
Simon Stirling, MD of Direct2Florist, said, “Harry Styles wearing a dress on the cover of Vogue has sparked debate about masculinity and gender norms in 2020. Whilst most have seen the look as a positive, some have reacted uncomfortably towards the look. We’ve recently noticed consumer trends suggesting a rise in men buying flowers for themselves and this, along with conversation off the back of the Vogue cover, lead to the debate around what men are comfortable with these days. Our survey has revealed there’s still a long way to go for most.”
“Whilst some of these, like liking rom coms and having bubble baths are a little bit silly, some, like not being comfortable crying or being affectionate with friends, do suggest the challenges some are still dealing with when it comes to toxic masculinity. This year especially mental health is more important than ever, and with International Men’s Day this week it’s important any men struggling make a point of opening up to friends and family.”
The BBC has announced that it will play an edited version of the Christmas classic, The Fairytale Of New York.
Without fail the song, which was first released in 1987 has caused an uproar every year in recent memory when it is played, in full, on radios in the UK, come to December-time.
The song has long offended many people in the gay community and finally, the BBC has said it will play an edit of the song which does not contain the slur “Faggot” on its youth-orientated radio station, Radio 1.
It will, however, continue to play the original version complete with the problematic lyric on its other mainstream radio station, Radio 2. DJs on 6 Music, will be able to choose from both versions.
On Radio 1 DJs will instead play an edited version, with a different lyric sung by one of the song’s singers, Kirsty MacColl, the corporation said. The addition lyric was sung by MacColl on Top Of The Pops in 1992, eight years before her death at the age of 41.
A BBC spokesman said, “We know the song is considered a Christmas classic and we will continue to play it this year, with our radio stations choosing the version of the song most relevant for their audience.”
This isn’t the first time that Radio 1 has used an edited version of the song. In 2007, the station censored the offending word, but soon reinstated it after a public backlash. So it will be interesting to see if a similar backlash happens in 2020.
What’s the problem with “Fairytale of New York”?
The problem with “Fairytale of New York” is the line, “You scumbag, you maggot, you cheap lousy faggot.”
Some in the LGBT+ community find the word offensives, while others don’t.
The one key element is that songs that contain other offensives slurs often use edited versions, which either bleep out a slur or have another word dubbed in. Up until now, the original version of Fairytale Of New York did not have an edit to play.
Last year, there were hundreds of complaints after Gavin and Stacey characters Nessa and Bryn sung the unedited version in a Christmas special broadcast on the BBC.
In 2018 the song was crowned the nation’s favourite Christmas song.
One of the most famous religious charities does have a homophobic past, but is the Salvation Army still anti-gay?
As Christmastime nears, it won’t be unusual to see a charity collection for the Salvation Army. Usually, the collection bucket will be accompanied by a Santa, replete with Red costume and a thick, but fake white beard. However, before you offload your change into the bucket, you should be fully aware of the charity’s past policies and what it’s doing about them now.
First and foremost, it must be understood that the Salvation Army is a religious charity, with its roots firmly embedded in Christianity. Many if not all of its policies, past and present, will have been formed from the Christian belief system.
In 2019 the Charity said that it wanted to a atone for its anti-gay past and said that it now “better understands” the LGBT+ community.
Did the Salvation Army support the homophobic and anti-gay Section 28 and Section 2A?
It added, “feel the floodgates could be opened, ultimately causing great hurt to both parents, teachers and our children. We are also very aware of the increasing pressures on young people to experiment with heterosexual sex at a younger age, without the additional pressure of self-questioning regarding homosexual sex”.
More recently, in 2012 when the Australian Salvation Army chief suggested that gay people should be put to death and in 2014 when it was alleged that the US arm of the charity refused to help shelter a homeless transgender woman.
The charity was also known to forbid gay people from serving as officers unless they remained celibate. In 2016 the UK’s Army chief said that he defended this policy. Even Paul O’Grady was forbidden to wear the Army’s uniform and told, “you could volunteer for us, you could come to our church services. If you want to become a soldier in the Salvation Army, you have to commit to what we believe.”
So what’s changed and is the Salvation Army still homophobic?
Last year, the charity’s communications director David Jolley said that these were all “isolated incidents” blaming the size of the organisation the number of people involved for incidents that “do not represent our values and service to all people who are in need”
Jolley added, “If anyone needs help, they can find it through our doors”.
He then added that the organisation had “evolved” saying, As we’ve better understood the needs of the LGBTQ+ community, we’ve evolved our approach.”
“As we build and remodel emergency shelters and transitional housing across the country, we consider ways to help LGBTQ+ individuals feel safe and cared for,
“We also have specific programs and resources across the country, such as a dorm in Las Vegas that is exclusive for transgender individuals, a detoxification facility in San Francisco that caters to those infected with HIV/AIDS, and our work in Baltimore to meet the needs of transgender individuals who are trafficked.”
How many LGBT+ people does the Salvation Army help?
According to a statement provided by the Salvation Army, they reckon that 40 per cent of the people they provide services to, identify as gay or transgender.
In a statement to news channel CBS11, Commissioner David Hudson, National Commander of The Salvation Army said,
“Regardless of race, ethnicity, sexual orientation or gender identity, we’re committed to serving anyone in need.
“Every day, we provide services such as shelter for the transgender community and resources for homeless youth – 40 per cent of whom identify as gay or transgender.”
However, that statistic was later discovered to be referring to the overall homeless population rather than the actual number of LGBT+ people helped by the charity.
The charity has not made it clear how many LGBT+ people it helps across all its branches and locations.
It opened a space for homeless LGBT+ people
In Canada, in 2018, the Salvation Army actually opened a new space for homeless LGBT people. The space was in Winnipeg and had 15 rooms and was trialled for one year.
“We welcome and serve people regardless of sexual orientation”
In the UK, the charity’s own website includes a statement on its LGBT+ policies, it says, “In the United Kingdom, The Salvation Army is made up of thousands of people who worship, work, volunteer, donate and serve together every week. This includes many people who are LGBT+. We welcome and serve people regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity, race, religion and ethnicity.
“Our employment practices are non-discriminatory and we seek to create welcoming, nurturing work environments.
“The Salvation Army finds no scriptural support for demeaning or mistreating anyone for any reason. People who come to The Salvation Army for help will receive assistance based solely on their need and our capacity to serve.”
For many, double penetration is the stuff of fantasy. Simply put Double Penetration, in a gay sex context is the insertion of two penises into one guy’s hole. It usually requires at least three of you, but it can be done with just the two of you if you have a dildo (or even one of you, yes there are double penetration dildos).
What you need to know is DP takes time and patience, so if you’re really up for trying double penetration, here’s how to go about it.
Before we start it’s probably fair to say, that there will be some guys, who just won’t be able to do it, from a bottoming point of view and if you feel too much pain, or it just doesn’t feel right then stop and tell your tops, to cool their jets. You don’t want to come out of this with a trip to A&E or create yourself long-lasting issues with your butthole.
If you’re a top and you want to find out the bit that involves you, click here… if you’re the bottom then read on…
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The warm-up, warm-up
The warm-up starts long before your tops arrive. It all starts with the douche and getting yourself ready down there.
I’d always recommend a shower douche if you’re going for DP, or extended arse play. Usually, a normal bulb douche would be fine for anal sex, but you want to be sure. Want to know more about douching click here.
Make sure the water is luke-warm and that the pressure from your shower is low. Take your time with the experience.
Once you’re ready and cleaned out, start prepping your hole with lube and maybe a dildo or prostate massager. I start with a numbing lube.
A lube launcher is a perfect way to get the lube deep inside you, or you can coat the top of your dildo with lube and work it in your body.
What you want to do is get your ass all lube up and warmed up ready for the main event.
The warm up
This is where you start to introduce other guys and the sex has begun. Hopefully, your tops have been true gents and gotten you all open and ready with rimming, possibly some fingering and now the penetration. It’s up to you, but I’d let both of them have sex with you for as long as they want… (and feels comfortable for you) this means that when it comes to the DP your butt hole muscle will be relaxed and ready for something bigger.
The DP
There are three main positions for DP, but we’ve posted four, in case you’re basically just extra.
The Double Stuff
IMAGE: Robert Flood
The Double Stuff is where the Btm lies on top, face down on Top 1 who enters the ass first, then from behind, kneeling between Top 1 and the Btm’s legs, Top 2 then inserts his dick. Slowly! In this position, Top 2 mostly controls the action. If Top 1 or the btm moves too much, both Tops will most likely fall out.
Tip: for this position whichever Top has the largest penis should be on the bottom and enter first.
The Laidback Cowboy DP
IMAGE: Robert Flood
This time the Btm faces up and lies on his back on the stomach of Top 1, who should again enter first. Top 2 then put his penis and because of his position gets the best view, but also, again gets to control the thrusting action more.
Tip: If your Btm is a heavier guy, then he’ll need to support his weight with his elbows or hands, meaning that both his hands will be occupied, so Top 2 can always jerk him off
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The King Of Clubs
IMAGE: Robert Flood
The King Of Club DP position is where the two Tops lie opposite each other with their butts, balls and penises meeting in the middle. Their legs outstretched past the shoulders of the other top. The two top’s legs will cross each at around the knee. The tops’ penises should meet in the middle and essentially create one dick for the Btm to lower himself on to. The Btm will need some good upper body strength for this as he lowers himself down and steadies himself on top of the two tops. However, this is the position where the Btm has most of the control over thrusting and how deep the penetration is.
Tip: Because this is essentially creating one large penis for the Btm to sit on it can actually be harder to do. First, a lot of foreplay and fucking needs to happen before you attempt this to really relax the muscles. You could also try raising one of the Top’s hips up with a pillow under the butt, making his penis stand higher than the other, meaning the Btm can insert one, then the other.
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The Frogs Legs
IMAGE: Robert Flood
Now this position requires quite a bit of flexibility from all concerned but has 10/10 marks for views for all and well, just the feeling of achievement alone. It’s almost the exact reverse of the King of Clubs DP.
The Btm lays on his back, with his butt in the air and his legs towards his chest or shoulders. Both Tops face away from each other, butts touching, whilst squatting over the Btm and straddling one of the Btm’s legs, creating a crisscross or the look of frog’s legs. Then pointing their dick’s down, enter the Btm. The fun thing about this position is that both Tops can control the trusting and slipping out is less of an issue.
Tip: This position needs the Tops to have some flexibility in their dicks to be able to bend downwards. The Btm’s back can be supported with a pillow under his lower back or butt.
Remember
If it hurts or there’s blood or you’ve just had enough, say STOP. End it when you need to. The ass is a delicate area. The rectum’s lining is quite thin and too much trauma will damage it. This is not the time to just power through the pain, you could be causing damage.
The key is to relax, a little discomfort might happen, but the more you can chill and relax, the better it will become… and I promise it’s like nothing you’ve felt before (for tops and btms!).
The number of cases of new HIV diagnoses in gay and bisexual men has fallen by 80%, to its lowest point in 20 years.
The new data, released today from Public Health England (PHE) shows that there were 1,700 new infections in 2019, down from a peak of 2,700 in 2011. However, the number of actual new infections, happening within the year was actually 540 – this is because people can live with HIV for some time without being aware of their status.
Before 2019’s new low, the lowest point was in the year 2000, when there were 1500 new cases in gay and bi men.
New cases in heterosexual people also hit a new low, of 1,600 – the lowest since 1998.
While the proportion of people diagnosed late remained high at 42%, the overall number decreased from around 1,900 in 2015 to 1,300 in 2019. People diagnosed late in 2019 had an eight-fold risk of death compared to those diagnosed promptly.
Why has the decline happened?
The decline in HIV transmission in gay and bisexual men can be directly linked to the increase in combination prevention, including the use of condoms, pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP), frequent HIV testing in a wide range of settings, and starting antiretroviral therapy (ART) as soon as possible after diagnosis.
According to the PHE, treatment is now so effective that 97% of people receiving ART have undetectable levels of the virus which means it is impossible to pass the virus on, even if having sex without condoms. Undetectable = untransmittable (U=U).
HIV Testing is vital
HIV testing is vital for preventing HIV-related illness and death and to achieve the goal of ending HIV transmission in the UK by 2030. The UK continues to meet the United Nations Programme on HIV and AIDS (UNAIDS) 90-90-90 targets for the third consecutive year; however, there are opportunities to improve uptake of testing and support those testing positive to continue their treatment.
Almost 300,000 people declined to have an HIV test when they attended a specialist sexual health service. Black African heterosexual women attendees were more likely to decline a test than Black African heterosexual men (20% vs 9% declined testing) but less likely than heterosexual women and men overall (25% vs 13%). More focussed conversations on HIV, testing, prevention and treatment in schools and clinical settings can help to combat high rates of declined tests.
By comparison, only 4% of gay and bisexual men attending specialist sexual health services declined an HIV test; this is the group in which the greatest declines in HIV transmission have been achieved.
Dr Valerie Delpech, Head of HIV Surveillance at Public Health England, said, “In the UK, we have made great progress towards eliminating HIV transmission by 2030. Frequent HIV testing, the offer of PrEP among those most at risk of HIV, together with prompt treatment among those diagnosed, remain key to ending HIV transmission by 2030.
“Further progress can only be achieved if we also address the inequalities in reducing HIV transmission that exist around sexuality, ethnicity and geography.”
How to stop HIV?
The most common way of getting HIV in the UK is through sex with a person who is unaware of their HIV infection.
You can protect yourself from HIV by consistent and correct condom use with new and casual partners, by using PrEP, or if your partner is on treatment and is undetectable if they are living with HIV. Correct and consistent condom use will also stop you getting or transmitting other STIs.
It can feel that sometimes that sex is just one act, but in reality, it’s a jigsaw of many (moving) parts. Some are more enjoyable than others, some need working at to become pleasurable and some, well, are the moments that really bond two (three or four we’re not judging!) people together.
So recently, when Redditor guys talked about what part of sex they weren’t afraid to get down and dirty…
