Well, every time I have anal sex or am fingered it’s really fun at the time but really hurts after. Is there something I’m doing wrong or what can I do to make it pleasurable?
Simon
Hello Simon,
The ass is pretty darn resilient and there’s a pleasure to be had from anal sex, but there are a few golden rules to make sure you keep safe and reduce pain.
It can’t be stressed enough lube is your friend. Use a good amount – and have a towel handy that you can wipe your hands, as it can get quite messy. **That** scene in Brokeback Mountain – as hot as it looks, is just not that realistic. A bit of spit and shove isn’t going to cut it. Use a good lube – and there are loads of lubes to choose from on the market. You might find that you get on with some better than others. Try the trial sizes until you find the perfect lube.
Take your time. One of the most misleading things about porn is that you can’t just stick it in – and that includes fingers. You need to take it gradually. You could start off with a bit of rimming and then move on to a finger – then if that feels good maybe two. Don’t just go for it. You will cause yourself a lot of pain.
Warm yourself up. You could do a bit of prep yourself before sex. Perhaps while you’re in the shower – or if you douche you could get your butt used to the feeling of a finger or two up there before you get down with your partner. Using warm water to douche could help you relax as well.
Anal Training. Why not try a set of dilating anal training toys. The toys vary in size and girth. You start small and gradually get bigger as you become accustomed to the size.
Finger maintenance. You say that it hurts after fingering, are your boyfriend’s fingernails ragged? If he’s got claws that a Gruffalo would be proud of it’s time to invest in some nail clippers for him. He may be, unknowingly tearing your insides – which will make the whole experience uncomfortable.
Keep the action smooth. Keep the fingering motion smooth and long and thin (goes right in). He shouldn’t curl up his fingers inside you – this is going to cause discomfort. No vigorous finger jamming like he’s Donald Trump giving a speech.
If you’re really concerned that there’s something wrong book an appointment to see your GP.
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The advice listed above is not intended to replace or take the place of that of your own doctor, GP or medical professional who knows your full medical history. If in any doubt make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible.
In his latest book, The Descent of Man, Grayson Perry cleverly charts the misfortunes of masculinity and their repercussions on both the female and, more interestingly, the male sex.
CREDIT: kunertuscom-bigstock
Perry himself is not only a Turner Prize winning artist but also a prolific cross-dresser, and he speaks with flair and intelligence as he critiques the prominence of what he calls default man. This tribal identity, which is characterised by a sober dress sense, a steely bravado and an apparent lack of empathy, accounts for only 10% of the population but dominates the spheres of business, politics, sports and the media.
It’s little surprise, as Perry points out in his book, that majority of those who kill, rape and go to war fit the obtuse criteria and are bred from what he denotes the department of masculinity. Bankers typify default man – they are also renowned for possessing psychopathic tendencies.
But no longer are these proclivities reserved for straight males, they’re now abundant in the gay community. The most transparent illustration of this is the term ‘straight acting’. This vexatious use of language now adorns the profiles of many, along with their beards, biceps and tangible disdain for all thing considered effeminate. And this isn’t mere conjecture. A recent study found that those who identify as ‘straight acting’ were more likely to agree that feminine guys give the gay community a bad reputation and were also significantly less likely to experience homophobia themselves. It’s not about raising ideological warfare and dictating the gender performance of any individual or subculture. The diversity of men, from twinks to bears, is what makes the gay community such an eclectic collection of personalities and individuals. It is this very cacophony, brimming with colour and verve, that we should be striving to maintain. Instead, we seem to be diluting our eccentricities, losing our individualism and with it what makes us special.
We need to ask ourselves if this pernicious desire to conform to this ideological stereotype is healthy.
This issue isn’t the exclusive domain of homosexuals, indeed Perry’s book largely addresses the hetero masses but given that we already know that the gay community experiences increased rates of bullying, substance abuse and mental health issues, these findings are at best regressive and at their worst pervasive and dangerous to the health of gay men. Trying to live up to false ideals never leads to happiness and contentment in the end, even if society seems to applaud and ratify the notion of default man.
Suicide is the biggest killer of men under 45 in the United Kingdom – something is clearly going wrong.
To some degree or another we’re all bound by the confines of our biological sex – but what lies ahead in a world of pass privilege is the eradication of gay culture and identity. Is it any coincidence that as our community becomes more hetero-normative equality seems to be finally on the up? The motivations for aspiring to this so called ‘pass privilege’ are not difficult to identify: bullying, stigmatisation and loneliness are all too familiar tropes – but the acceptance of difference, not assimilation into the uniformity of default man is what is needed if we are to move forward in a healthy and progressive manner.
Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, it’s management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.
Finally, Fiat is coming back. The recent launch of the brilliant 124 Spider set the wheels in motion and now we have the Tipo. Admittedly it is a name from the past of a car that did great things for the Italian maker. Above all, though it is NOT a new form of 500.
I liked the original Tipo. It looked like nothing else out there. Square and boxy like the box it arrived in. It had some funk too with the top of the range models starting the digital dashboard era of displays that have now become commonplace. Above all, it didn’t fall apart.
This is the trouble when you resurrect an old name. Some will remember the past product for reasons good or bad. I remember it for the good so naturally, I got excited about the arrival of the new Tipo.
Visually it doesn’t fail to impress. Front on it looks rather nice. It’s not like the white elephant in the room of the original which some will say is good. The rear, however, does look a little like most hatchbacks out there.
Since Tipo 88 (Car of the Year 1989, it was that good) Fiat haven’t really been able to keep up in this fierce segment. Bravo/Brava missed the boat by miles and the Stilo, while it looked good at the front, had a fat backside and wasn’t very good. So I am glad to say that on first acquaintance with new Tipo I am a happy chap. There was a time when Tipo 88 could match the build of Volkswagens Golf Mk3. New Tipo can now hold its head up high once again.
Fiat has rightly or wrongly not aimed Tipo at the Golf driver. There lays the huge problem most manufacturers have come across. Your product needs to be bloody good to entice the Golf driver away. Instead, they have gone for the more lower-priced market segment. With prices ranging from £12,995 to £18,995 Fiat have priced it very competitively.
The one thing you will notice is how well it is painted. The boot is large and missing a cargo net so I was forced to place some shopping under the boot carpet. It was here that I noticed that Fiat had painted the bits you don’t see or care about. Even the paint around the boot shut area was smooth and glossy. A lot of manufacturers these days tend to miss these areas. To be honest you probably won’t even notice it. To me, it is these little touches that show Fiat are trying hard to win back some of the market it lost. Even the engine bay is painted well.
I’ve started doing a centre console rub. You’ll be amazed at how well or not this area is put together by manufacturers. The jigsaw pieces used on Tipo were well fitted together. No harsh edges to be felt.
It has nothing special on it as far as the lighting goes. No expensive HID bulbs or swivelling headlights. Instead, the engineers have relied on making them good in the first place. Driving down country lanes where l live, the Tipo makes easy work of lighting my way.
A good driving position was easy to obtain with multi adjustments within the seat and steering wheel that cater for rake and reach. What wasn’t so successful was the centre armrest. It fouled the operation of the handbrake. Something that blighted Tipo 88 so it was nice to see another consistency of old meets new.
The Tipo was easy to live with too. Again nothing special or outlandish like a one-touch keyless entry or starting buttons. A simple key with remote buttons did the trick. A little touch l did like was the angle of the ignition keys entry. More 45 degrees instead of the usual 90. It doesn’t sound much, however, there was no scrabbling to find the key hole.
It’s these egonomics that really are hit and miss around Tipo. The front window switches on the driver door had the front window switches too far forward. Numerous occasions I kept opening the rear windows. This is something l am sure will annoy those in the spacious rear. Like Tipo 88, new Tipo also has better rear passenger space than you would think.
One other thing that infuriated me more than anything was the preselected text reply messages. There was no way to by-pass them and she liked to say everything and tell you everything. The software is out there to better this. For the convenience that it offered it was a little too distracting.
The saving grace of the infotainment system was its ease of use. The DAB pick up was good and station selection impeccable.
The 120bhp Multijet diesel engine was a strong puller. 320 Nm of torque available at 1750rpm made rapid progress through the gearbox. The useable power band mostly used was within 1750 to 4000rpm. By 3750rpm all the horses had done their bit. One downside to the engine when standing outside and scrapping the ice off the screen was that it seemed a little too clattery from cold. From inside you could be hard pushed to notice it.
Italian cars are famed for their handling. Tipo 88 spanned the seductively fast Sedicivalvole. The chassis could handle this. In new Tipo, it needs a tweak or two from Abarth. As it is in the 120hp Lounge model it is more than adequate but not the best. A combination of subtle spring choices has taken the edge away from that foot down powerhouse hot hatch feel. It’s a move I am seeing more off as manufacturers revert away from the Teutonic tautness of the Germans and about time too
I like Tipo. It’s not perfect in every area. It is easy to live with and on the eye, it does have good looks with crisp lines that aren’t fussy. Inside is accommodating and it has a good strong well built feel to it. Something Fiat haven’t had for a long time. With that in mind, the Tipo didn’t fail to impress me over the week I had it.
Likes
Build quality particularly attention to detail
Price
Big boot
Loathes
Engine clattery when cold
Armrest fouling handbrake operation
Preset mobile phone reply messages
The Lowdown Car – Fiat Tipo MultiJet 120hp Lounge Price – £18,545 (as tested) MPG – 76.3mpg (combined) Power – bhp 120 @ 3750rpm 0-62mph – 9.8 seconds Top Speed – 124 mph Co2 – 98 (g/km)
The government has announced plans to make sex education compulsory in all schools in England, however, they’ve failed to mention LGBT+ issues which critics say is letting LGBT+ children down across the country.
The UK’s Government has announced plans to ensure that sex and relationship education is made compulsory in all schools across England, however it neglected to say whether LGBT+ relationships would be covered by any classes.
Education Secretary Justine Greening said that children from the age of four would be taught about safe and healthy relationships.
David Geary, Head of Political Engagement Pride in London said that the absence of LGBT+ specifics was cementing stigma and bullying into school culture by not tackling those issues.
He said,
“Today’s announcement that age-appropriate sex and relationships education (SRE) will become compulsory in every school, is a welcome step in the right direction. The first major shakeup in more than 15 years will empower teachers to promote positive discussions on such a critical area and ensure teenagers don’t learn poor habits or behaviours from online sources.
“Healthy sex and relationship education cannot be wholly effective until it helps every pupil in the classroom. In continuing to separate, single out and ignore the needs of LGBT+ pupils, the government is helping to cement stigma, self-doubt, confusion and bullying.
“Such an omission lets down pupils right across the country, who need effective and positive support to develop into the healthy, confident and safe LGBT+ adults they deserve to be. Parents too benefit from having such a support as they learn to be the best guardian they can be for their LGBT+ child”.
Politicians across the political spectrum have signed up to a pledge which calls for the inclusion of same-sex relationship education in all London schools to ensure the representation of different families and communities within SRE.
My hiatus is over and having wondered into the foothills near the road to becoming a father, I have now returned to the straight and narrow. Recently three things have happened which have had a profound effect on my journey to becoming a father:
It has now been 13 months since the last embryo transfer with my (now ex-) surrogate failed. I am pleased to be able to report that finally, I have a new surrogate, the paperwork is signed, and we will try for an embryo transfer in March 2017. If successful, it will have been 25 months since I signed the original surrogacy paperwork.
Secondly, not one but two of my close friends have died, literally a week apart. I went to the first funeral a week ago and will attend the second funeral in two weeks’ time. In my third column, I spoke about the reaction by close family and friends. Well, one of the friends who has now died, was one of the original three who was virulently against my becoming a father. I hadn’t spoken to him for just over a year because of this. I was hoping to re-ignite our friendship (17 years to that time) once a baby was born. I can’t tell you how sad I was and how regretful I am that I had not had the opportunity to make up with him before he died. I sit here now as I write with a heavy heart.
To balance this, the other friend who has died was very much for me becoming a father. He had a large party when he knew he had a week or two to live, there were over 50 people and it meant that I saw him five days before he died. Again, our friendship had lasted 15 years and I was able to say thank you for the loyalty and happiness that he had brought to my life.
Following these two deaths, I’ve recently been reflecting on what’s important to me and what sort of person I am. Without the news of the new surrogate signing contracts, I had become very depressed. I still have a good job, a now older BMW, and live in a new house which I have bought (still dreaming of two children). But, my friends’ deaths really made me reflect on what I think is important in life, which remains: family and friends, the people that we surround ourselves with. For me, this continues to justify my reasoning for starting a family.
Speaking of family and friends, my third profound effect is that having spent Sunday afternoon walking with my mother, as we got to the car, she said to me “and now if you can provide me with a grandson, I will be very happy”. Back in column three, I wrote how my mother reacted one afternoon and ever since it’s been a tricky balancing act to keep mum onside. Gone are the hysterics management and my mother has taken time, but now seems to be coming around to the idea of me having a child. I am very thankful for this.
I certainly feel that I am ‘paying my dues’. I have kept hold of my job in some tricky situations, started to build a home ready for a child, and am now making financial sacrifices as I start to save £1000 a month, in order to meet the increased costs of the new surrogate. For example, this year I will be 40. When I was 35 I rented a house in Torre Del Lago in Italy and for two weeks friends flew in and out. On my 35th birthday, we ate by the lakeside, followed by open-air opera. Saving a £1000 a month means that I won’t be hiring a house in Italy this year. Instead, I am now on the path laid out by my life coach, £1000 a month for the next year covering surrogacy costs and once a child is born, child care for three or four years.
I look forward with hope to sharing with you the success of an embryo transfer at the start of April 2017.
THEGAYUK’s Matt Peake spoke to porn star Jonny Kingdom about what it’s like to work in the porn industry.
MP: How many auditions did you have to go through before you got your first job?
JK: I was very lucky as I didn’t have to do too many auditions as one of my friends was a director for the company Blake Mason. They were the first company I had ever shot with I did a solo and then a duo with Luke Desmond I knew them so was quite easy and relax and I loved the whole experience. But if you were thinking of getting into porn it’s something I would definitely think about and rethink. Once it’s out there it’s up there.
MP: Have you told your family?
JK: Yes it was something I knew I would have to tell them as I knew if I was going to do it well I was going to try to be the best at it. My family has always been very supportive and I’m very lucky to have them and obversely all my friends know this is the gay world! In 2013 Drilled won the best DVD at the porn awards it was a big night and all my friends were with me I’m very lucky.
MP: Is it hard to find romantic partners as sex is such an intimate part of the human experience?
JK: Every relationship needs sex. Porn is a lot different to being in a relationship and having sex with a partner when you haven’t got a whole camera crew they’re going can’t get hard!
MP: Are there things you’ve learnt doing porn that you’ve included in your personal life? Do partners expect you to be ‘experts’ of sex?
JK: I hope I’ve learned a lot as it’s my job but relationships are different and no not when they’re dating you they get to know you so they don’t expect anything but I would hope I please them.
MP: Do you ever bottom? Do bottoms really get paid more than tops?
JK: I mainly am. Most of us are self- employed and model fees are different for everyone. But yes I do get paid more for being a bottom than a top!
MP: Do you sleep with your fans?
JK: MAYBE!
MP: What would you say to people who want to get into porn?
JK: Think about it. It is a great lifestyle. Next month I’m off to Prague for three days all-expenses-paid for it. It’s a great career as long as you pick the right companies and don’t get led astray.
MP: What do you think is the future of porn?
JK: Porn will never go away. The best thing about porn is I do get to travel I’ve been to America, Berlin, Prague, Amsterdam.
MP: What’s the average day of a porn star?
JK: The average day is up bright and early at the gym and normally you’re on set from nine in the morning and it can go on till about 7-8 at night.
MP: After all the sex and fame and thrill… what’s next?
JK: Eventually the dream would be to have my very own modelling agency. Although I’m really starting to get into directing and soon maybe directing my own shoot so look out!
MP: Who has been your favourite scene partner and why?
JK: It would have to be Austin Wilde Good Morning. It was filmed in an American hotel and he is a guy I very much fancy. I loved it and I do think is one of my best. You can see it at guysinsweatpants.com.
MP: What’s the average salary per scene/per film?
JK: They are all different but normally start around £300 and work their way up.
MP: What are your opinions on porn?
JK: I love it and keep watching!
We sent writer Matt Peake to speak with rising porn star, Max Cameron to find out what life is like for a porn star in today’s industry.
CREDIT: Max Cameron / Twitter
MP: Tell us about your first porn job
MC: Technically speaking, I suppose my start began with some ads/photo shoots that I had done with Mr. S Leather (an adult/sex shop in San Francisco) about two years ago. It really took a leap of faith to do it. I have always had some issues with body dysmorphia, and it took a year or two of frequent visits to the gym before I was comfortable with putting my body in the public light. Shortly after, I did my first scene with Treasure Island Media, and at the time didn’t really think to start getting “serious” about it. After I had done a couple scenes with TIM, I decided to throw some applications up with various studios (there isn’t necessarily an “audition” process), and that’s where it started to snowball (sorry for the pun).
My first scene was terrifying! I was tagging along on a shoot, and thought that I had been given the option to decide on location if I wanted to participate. When we arrived, the director was giving me all these instructions as to how he wanted the scene to play out, and told myself, “well, here goes!” I was totally caught off guard, but it turned out to be a pretty hot scene!
MP: Have you told your family?
MC: I’m not one to really draw attention to myself in my private life, and thus really don’t talk about porn outside of my close-knit group of friends. As far as my family is concerned, only my sister and brother-in-law know about my moonlighting as a performer. My Mom would probably keel over & die if she found out. I have told them that I am a “model,” which, in actuality, is what we are referred to, so at least I’m not lying! Eventually, I’m going to have to bite the bullet and come clean. God help me!
MP: Is it hard to find romantic partners as sex is such an intimate part of the human experience, how do you balance the act versus the deeper connection?
MC: I don’t think it’s hard to find a romantic partner. I have been with my current partner, Jackson Fillmore, for almost six months now, and I feel like even as time progresses, we create a tighter, closer emotional & spiritual bond. That being said, we have an open relationship, which, for us, works just great, although it might not be for everyone. Speaking from a gay perspective, I think that generally men are more capable of the emotional disconnect associated with casual sex.
Furthermore, I live in San Francisco, which is known to be a very sex- positive city, which in some ways foments many “friends with benefits” relationships. I know that I share a life and bond with my boyfriend, and therefore any sex outside of our relationship is merely ad hoc and recreational.
MP: Have you ever dated another porn star? If so, would you only ever date porn stars? What is the camaraderie like between porn stars?
MC: I have (regrettably) dated another porn actor. And I don’t say that because I regretted that he was in porn, but just the nature of the relationship (don’t get me started). My current boyfriend is getting his toes wet in the industry, and I’m sure he’ll be ready to make the plunge in the next few months. In all honesty, I would prefer to date someone not in porn, but at the same time, I think it is hard for someone to understand the intricacies and complexities of the industry looking in from the outside. A lot of the industry is smoke and mirrors, and is often misconstrued as being posh and glamorous.
MP: Are there things you’ve learnt doing porn that you’ve included in your personal life? Do partners expect you to be ‘experts’ of sex?
MC: Sure! I’ve learned that, when filming sex, know your angles and be conscious of where the camera is! In all seriousness, I don’t know if there has been any translation of porn to my personal life.
I think sometimes when I have sex, and they know what I do, there is maybe an expectation. It’s actually quite amusing when I notice it. It’s like they are auditioning almost; trying to “outperform” me. I just go along with it. It’s a fun game to play! I just keep getting incrementally more and more over-the-top porn-sounding.
MP: Do you ever bottom?
MC: Of course I bottom! That’s half the fun of being gay! I am
versatile, or, as I like to say: “100% 50/50.” Hygiene is of utmost importance. To quote a previous TheSword.com interview, I “hate dirty bottoms almost as much as [I] hate Kim Kardashian!” It is definitely a process that really boils down to knowing your body. When I “clean the kitchen” it usually takes about 20 minutes for a thorough cleaning with the hose. Some friends that I know spend upward of 45 minutes to an hour. So much for the California drought! And to set the record straight, bottoms do not make more than tops.
MP: Do you sleep with your fans?
MC: I’d sleep with anyone I found attractive (in my personal life), be it a fan or otherwise. That being said, from a professional (escort) point of view, and as the saying goes, “money talks.” I think escorting (prostitution, in my opinion, has such a negative connotation) and porn go hand in hand. Most porn actors are also escorts. Porn is a way of advertising your escorting services, which, in today’s terms is the real breadwinner in the adult entertainment industry. More often than not, escorting entails companionship and an emotional connection, not just sex. In many ways I consider myself more of a therapist than a “prostitute” or “hooker.”
MP: Do you worry about STIs? Do you think bareback porn is contributing to rising rates of HIV in young gay men?
MC: I feel very fortunate to have PrEP (pre-exposure prophylaxis, or Truvada) available in the US. PrEP is a once-daily HIV prevention pill that has an efficacy rate of over 99% (significantly higher than that of a condom). While only ONE organisation, the AIDS Healthcare Foundation, is fighting PrEP, notable health organisations like the World Health Organisation and the US Centre for Disease Control have both publicly endorsed PrEP as an effective means to combat HIV transmission. As far as other STIs are concerned, I am tested every three months (as per doctor’s orders while undergoing my PrEP regimen), which, in most cases is significantly more frequent than those not on PrEP.
I don’t see any correlation between rising rates of HIV in young, gay men. In fact, as far as I know, HIV rates have been on the decline in my hometown, San Francisco, but I’m unaware of what the British/European data has shown. I think people are inclined to practice safer sex as they feel appropriate, and people have preferences to which they adhere pretty rigidly whether that includes use of PrEP, condom or otherwise. For the most part, I don’t think that condomless porn influences its audience in any way, but rather, caters to its pre-existing preferences and fetishes.
MP: Are fluffers a real thing?
MC: LOL. Absolutely not. It may have been a thing of a bygone era, but fluffers don’t exist.
MP: Do you use drugs to get hard?
MC: These days, it is common to see the use of Viagra, Cialis, and various other erectile enhancers to aid in video production. When you are on set for sometimes, 8, 9, 10 hours or more, you need those tools to perform under pretty rigorous conditions.
MP: How do fans react to you in the street? Do you find that a lot of people chat you up?
MC: I am a very public and social person, so I often notice people who recognise me. Truth be told, most people won’t approach me, but will stare from afar… making things quite awkward. Sometimes it feels like being an animal at a zoo in that regard. I don’t know if people are intimidated, shy, or what, but if you see me out and feel the need, just come say hi! I’m a very approachable guy! That being said, please respect my personal space & private life. If you see me out in my hometown, I’m likely not
out as Max, but as me!
MP: What would you say to people who want to get into porn?
MC: Be sure you want to do it! In my opinion there is no half-assing it. I am my own worst critic, and I would hate to ever have a scene come out that I’m not happy with or one that I haven’t given 100%. Also, it really is a job and can sometimes be insanely taxing. I’ve had shoots that have gone up to 12 hours long. It is not as glamorous as you’d think.
MP: What’s the average day of a porn star?
MC: Well, I wake up at 6:15 AM to get ready for my day job as a high school special education teacher, where I work 8:00-14:30. After work, I usually head straight to the gym where I work out for 1.5-2 hours. After that, I’ll head home, hop on World of Warcraft for a bit (NERD ALERT!), followed by either social time and drinks with friends or soccer (football) practice with my gay club, the San Francisco Spikes (sfspikes.com).
MP: How do you see your career progress over time and how do they feel about limitation with age/body?
MC: They say the average shelf life of a porn performer is somewhere around 2 years. Though I haven’t over-saturated the market, which often tends to decrease one’s tenure in porn, I’ve tentatively given myself maybe another year before I “retire.” I think I’ve accomplished just about everything I’ve set out to do: I’ve worked for just about all the studios I’ve desired to work for, I’ve been nominated for industry awards and been given the opportunity to travel. Age, for me, at least, plays a minor role in that decision as well. I don’t want to be some old guy clinging to a career that I should have let go years prior. That being said, there are a limited few for whom it works (Rocco Steele, for example).
MP: What other plans have you got in place for after?
MC: I will be going back to school this year. I’m leaning toward business, or possibly travel & tourism.
I’ve also flirted with the idea of starting my own modelling agency, or studio/website. I like the idea of having creative control of a product. We’ll see…
In Issue 13 of THEGAYUK we chatted with porn star Jay Banks to find out what life is like for a porn star!
CREDIT: Jay Banks/ Twitter
MP: Do you ever bottom? If so, how do you take care of yourself? Do bottoms really get paid more than tops?
JB: I do bottom. More often than not really. I consider myself a bottom but I do top a nice ass on occasion. So, Vers bottom? I pride myself on being a good bottom and with that comes good hygiene. Just make sure your good to go. I can’t say that bottoms make more than tops in the industry. I actually have heard tops get paid more but it really just depends on the studio and the star.
MP: Can you explain the experience of your first job?
JB: I had always wanted to do porn. I know, cliché, right? Even if it was just once. One day I finally got online and submitted an application with one of my favourite studios, Treasure Island Media. Within a few weeks, I heard back from casting and they set up a Skype meeting/interview which went well and I was told that when I’m in NYC to let them know. So I went for a weekend and did a hot scene with them.
MP: Have you ever dated another porn star?
JB: I haven’t had the pleasure of dating another porn star, yet. But I am single and available! If you find one let me know (laughs).
MP: Are there things you’ve learnt doing porn that you’ve included in your personal life?
JB: I can’t say I have learned anything specific from doing porn that I do in my personal life. Although I will say that in my personal life I do have sex but 9 times out of 10 the person doesn’t know I am in porn.
MP: Do partners expect you to be an ‘expert’ of sex?
JB: I don’t think people consider porn stars to be experts in sex… Experts at having sex on camera perhaps but not having sex in general. Although I’ve never had any complaints!
MP: Do you receive bizarre messages from fans?
JB: I do sometimes get messages from fans. I like to get them. It’s nice to read them and also all the tweets and comments on my Twitter are appreciated. I read them all and try to respond to everyone. Thanks to all my followers!
MP: What is the weirdest message/request you’ve received from a fan?
JB: I would say the weirdest request I got from a fan was a guy who wanted me to come to California and have sex with him and his wife. I didn’t for the record (laughs).
MP: Do you sleep with your fans?
JB: I haven’t slept with a fan yet! I did get an email from a fan recently and we have been in contact and he is actually coming to stay with me this weekend so I will for sure be able to say I HAVE slept with a fan by the end of the weekend! So let it be known that it CAN happen. You can sleep with your favourite porn star!
MP: Are fluffers a real thing?
JB: I’m sure there are fluffers out there somewhere, I haven’t come across any myself (no pun intended) but maybe for group scenes. So far the scenes I have done were with one other porn star so we fluffed each other. On cam!
MP: Do you use any pills to enhance your career?
JB: As far as a pill or enhancer, I like a product called Erekt. I haven’t used it on set, however, I do use it sometimes in my personal life, not because I need it but just for fun or an extra BOOM. (Laughs) it works!
MP: What do you think is the future of porn?
JB: I think it will be around forever…it will change and adapt to what people want most but I think that you’re going to see mostly if not all bareback porn in the future along with maybe some live porn sites vs video/streaming.
MP: What’s the average day of a porn star?
JB: Oh the average day of a porn star? Well, when I reach “stardom” status I will let you know! 🙂
MP: Who has been your favourite scene partner and why?
JB: My favourite costar is Sam Bridle. We did a scene for Treasure Island Media for a film called Stick it, f**k it, breed it, leave it. He (Sam) was so laid back and chilled and easy to film with. Not to mention his dick was perfect! I love watching Blue Bailey take all those dicks in his gang bang scene. I’m a gang-bang kinda guy. They are my weakness!
MP: What’s the average salary per scene/per film?
JB: There is so much difference between studios, your experience and popularity that there’s no easy number. I would say anywhere between a few hundred to a few thousand. I honestly do it for the fun, though!
MP: How would you describe your sexuality?
JB: I would describe my sexuality in one word. HORNY. I’m always down for some fun!
MP: What are your opinions on porn?
JB: I think the porn industry packs a definite economic punch and it’s important for people to have a good selection of it to watch so that everyone can find something that they like… Or a fantasy that they wish they could live out. I’m glad to be a part of it, for the time that I have been, and look forward to more to come!
We caught up with pop prince Conor to find out why boxers are his go to fashion statement at home and why it’s all about Nandos.
HIS WATCH: Never wear watches! HIS AFTERSHAVE: Used to always be Hugo boss, but I haven’t worn an aftershave in years! I prefer the natural scent… joking, I just can’t be bothered half the time (laughs). HIS CLOTHING: 1) Uptown: Spencer Hart, their suits and shirts are so unique. 2) Downtown: Too many to name! Adidas shoes are the one for me right now, although I just tend to like particular pieces of clothing as opposed to sticking with a single brand. 3) Mytown: any mildly clean pair of boxers I can find and some sweatpants. HIS ACCESSORIES: Phone, my lucky bracelets (stared wearing them just before my first ever singles were released) and my house keys because I like to be able to get back into my house at the end of a day. HIS DRINK: Disaronno and Coke (me and my friends call it a “dizzy Coke”) HIS RESTAURANT: Nandos, because I’m the most adventurous, out-there guy you’ll ever meet. HIS TRAVEL: Anywhere with good people. HIS BOOK: A Series Of Unfortunate Events, read the whole series twice! HIS SONGS: Changes every day! Right now: John Mayer – “I Don’t Trust Myself”, Fetty Wap – “My Way” (feat. Drake), Taylor Swift – “Bad Blood”.
HIS QUOTE TO LIVE BY: “It’s better to fail in originality, than to succeed in imitation.” FINISH THIS SENTENCE: Someone once told me… that quote you just read, so I took it as my own and now when I say it everyone thinks I’m really profound and a genius and it’s great!
It’s nearly 30 years since the release of one of the most important documentaries about the LGBT+ community. Released in 1990 Paris Is Burning documents the lives of the New York ball culture and the African-American, Latino, gay, and transgender communities involved in it.
Table of Contents
The film, by Jennie Livingston, focuses on the lives of eight individuals. Most of the film’s stars are now dead and many died from AIDS-related illnesses.
Dorian Corey 1937 – 1993
Drag queen performer and mother and founding member of the house of Corey. She was the house mother of Angie Xtravaganza, who went on to form her own House of Xtravaganza. Corey died in 1993, three years after the film’s release. She died of an AIDS-related illness in New York at the Columbia Presbyterian Medical Center
Pepper LaBeija 1948 – 2003
LaBeija died in 2003 from a heart attack in New York at the age of 54. For the final ten years of LaBeija life, LaBeija was largely bedridden due to type 2 diabetes. Both feet amputated as a result. She had two children and daughter and son.
Venus Xtravaganza 1965 – 1988
Venus was killed before the end of filming and release of Paris Is Burning. Her body was discovered under a bed at the Duchess Hotel in New York according to her House mother Angie Xtravaganza. She had been strangled. Her body was discovered four days after her death. Her killer has never been found and her death remains an open, unsolved crime. According to the New York Post, New York has about 9000 unsolved murders since 1985.
Octavia St. Laurent 1964 – 2009
Octavia St. Laurent and later Octavia St. Laurent Mizrahi died after a long battle with cancer. She was a singer and a songwriter and in 2005 was working on a set of recordings which were never released.
Willi Ninja 1961 – 2008
Willi died from AIDS-related heart failure in New York in 2008. He was 45. He had a career that spanned film, music and choreography. He starred in two Janet Jackson music videos, “Escapade” and “Alright” before his death. He also released his own single, “Hot” in 1994. He was known as the “godfather of Voguing”.
Angie Xtravaganza 1964 – 1993
Angie Xtravaganza died three years after the film’s release. She was a founding member of the House of Xtravaganza and house mother to Venus Xtravaganza. She died at the age of 28 from an AIDS-related liver disease.
Freddie Pendavis
Freddie went on to have just two other film credits after Paris Is Burning, namely The Joan Rivers Show in 1989 and the film Strays in 1997. Twenty-five years after Paris Is Burning Freddie was the only star who attended an anniversary screening of the film.
Junior Labeija
Is still alive although not much is known about what he’s up to now.
Who is the Marquis of Wellington and what is he doing in Bermondsey?
The Marquis of Wellington was another name for the 1st Duke of Wellington (Arthur Wellesley), one of the leading military and political leaders of the 19th century. It’s also the name of a pub in Bermondsey down a lonely and dark stretch of road alongside railroad tracks that go into London Bridge. The Marquis of Wellington is not your typical pub – there’s no fish and chips nor sausage and mash on the menu. It is, however, doing things a bit different – it’s a pizza joint that also serves street food!
First off, let’s mention the pizza. There are eight to chose from, from salami to sirloin steak, porchetta and apple to prosciutto crudo, which is what my Italian dining companion had. It was a beautifully-looking pizza, very large (eight slices), topped with sun-blushed tomatoes, wild rocket and of course prosciutto. It was big enough to feed two people! However, it was very oily, too oily for my dining companion to eat with his hands. The pizzas are very good value and priced between £7 to £9.75 – a great deal considering how big they are! I, on the other hand, had that night’s pop-up street food choice. Lucky for me it was Smokin’ Lotus (smokinlotus.co.uk). I had the option of either the 8-hour smoked char siu pork rib, the 10- hour slow smoked beef brisket or the smoked tofu, so it was suggested to me by the manager to have the pork rib salad box (no more sandwiches were available on a Saturday night at 8 pm). The salad box came with Asian style ‘slaw with a creamy sesame dressing and Japanese style mashed potato salad. All I have to say is that it was delicious. The pork was grilled to perfection, the slaw was absolutely tasty, and the mashed potato salad was simply divine. And at £8 it was an excellent deal!
Fresh garlic bread is also a big part of the menu at the Marquis of Wellington. They are massive and excellently priced at under £4.50 each. My companion had the mozzarella, basil pesto and sun blushed tomatoes – he said it was very good but again, the bottom of the bread was oily. My San Marzano tomato with grilled aubergines and parmesan was perfect – the bread was crispy and the toppings were superb.
The Marquis of Wellington is located on the Bermondsey beer mile – a section of Bermondsey where you’ll find lots of local brewers. I drank the Anspach & Hobday Pale Ale beer – blond, delicious, beautiful and recommended. The Marquis of Wellington has other great selections of local keg and cask beers, alongside quality beers from around the world. And it being a pub, the Marquis of Wellington serves all the usual liquids – wines, spirits, bottled beers, etc.
It was a Saturday night at 7:50 pm when my friend and I walked it. It was extremely loud and rowdy and we struggled to get a table even though we had a reservation. It took a bit to figure out how things worked – if you’re eating from the menu, the menu that is supposed to be on your table (ours wasn’t), you need to tick what you want and then take it to the bar to order. We ordered at 8:10 pm and were told that the street food concession was already closing! Early for a Saturday night – luckily I got their last served meal of the day.
The pub was in a bit of disarray, and the empty table the friendly waitress found us was a bit dirty. The food came out fast and furious, but after our meal we were told they had run out of dessert – by 9:30 pm! Also, the pizza and garlic breads are served on cutting boards – I’ve never been a fan of eating off cutting boards because food tends to get into the wood and, if not properly washed, you might be tasting the pizza a customer might have had the day before. Nonetheless, good things are about to take place at the Marquis of Wellington. Just four months old, they plan to have live music on Thursday nights, will soon have a quiz night, and more street food options are planned. They also have free Wi-Fi.
The locals are lucky to have this pub on their doorstep, and visitors to the area will enjoy it as well, but it might not be worth trek all the way to Bermondsey when the West End will do for any type of pub and food option you want. The food = ★★★★, the pub itself = ★★, so it warrants ★★★.
To find out the upcoming street food traders at the Marquis of Wellington, follow them on Twitter @MoWBermondsey or Facebook – Marquis of Wellington
