Decoding DP – if you see “DP” in someone’s dating or Grindr profile, here is what it means.
Simply put it means Double Penetration.
Yes, that’s two cocks up your bum. Not for the faint-hearted and probably only for a guy who is an experienced bottom.
He’ll probably need quite a bit of prep time and a lot of warming up with a lot of foreplay. Remember not to rush the experience and take your time.
Oh and with any kind of anal sex, don’t forget the lube, go for a long-lasting lube, like a silicone-based lube, which is less tacky than water-based lube and generally lasts much longer without drying out.
Before you read on, we want you to know that although this isn’t a paid-for advert, this article does reference products sold in our shop… which helps pay to keep THEGAYUK online.
We shouldn’t be settling for those little sachets you get for free at your nearest gay bar.
Let me make it clear, I’m not knocking the free lube. I love a freebie and those packets with the condoms have probably saved countless guys from contracting one infection or another. But… while those little sachets are good for emergencies or a last-minute shag, they shouldn’t be your main go-to when it comes to your lube options.
First off they are all water-based, this is because it is the cheapest to create and all water-based lubes are condom safe. However away from water-based, there’s a treasure trove of options, from silicone to hybrid to oil-based and they all feel and act differently different from each other and you may find that one feels better on your sensitive parts than the others.
When it hurts and you have to stop, it might actually be your lube causing the issue
I recently found this out myself. I usually went with one very well known brand, but I noticed that it stung almost every time I had sex, to the point where I’d want to halt proceedings entirely after a few minutes. Annoying for my partner, annoying for me… Preparation is time-consuming and you want all that effort to be worth it, am I right?
So I moved to a lesser-known brand, which was still waterbased and that stinging wasn’t so bad… Which made me think that not all lubes are created equal.
I decided to treat my booty and bought a bottle of silicone-based lube and the difference was astounding, something I found out in one particularly long session (with a couple of guys, I know I’m a minx, what can I say). The whole session felt great if I’m honest and because silicone-based lube is generally longer-lasting you actually don’t need too much.
Of course, silicone isn’t going to be for everyone, but I really found that it worked for me. Lubes are a bit of trial and error. You need to take some time to find what works for you. The trouble is lube isn’t cheap. So I spoke to this with our partner shop THEGAYSHOP about putting together a trial bag that contains a number of different lubes, in smaller sizes, so you can try before investing in a larger bottle.
We all deserve to have good sex and for us to feel comfortable as much as possible during it too and lube might just be the answer to enjoying sex without discomfort.
When it comes to anal sex, lube is always best and usually, just like bottles of booze at a party – the more the merrier. You really shouldn’t try the Brokeback Mountain spit and shove. You’re likely to hurt yourself and cause damage to your anus or rectum.
You really can’t go wrong with using lubes and there are so many types, brands and bases to try. Some are best if you’re going bareback (that’s sex without a condom) whilst other work best if you’re rubbering up. Some are even recommended for fisting… but maybe that’s a different article altogether.
So what’s the best lube for the job?
Lubes for sex with a condom?
If you’re going for a standard, rubbered up sesh, then a silicone or water-based lube is the best. We recommend lubes like the Liquid Silk or the specially designed anal lube from Lubido. These work best with condom usage. You can also use them in bareback sex as well. Water-based lubes are the easiest to wash and wipe off and don’t stain the bedsheets.
A note to the wise, when using condoms, you may want to use a little more lube than you think you should. It can feel a little drier than without a condom and you should never use oil-based lubes for condom play – it could destroy the integrity of the johnny.
Also never lube up your penis before putting on a condom. The condom is really likely to slip off if you do this. Only lube up the outside of the condom.
Silicon-based lubes tend to last longer than water-based, but not as long as petroleum-based lubes. They are also a little stickier than water-based ones.
What’s the best lube for bareback sex?
For bareback sex you can use water, silicone, oil or petroleum-based lubes. Oil or petroleum-based lubes are more likely to stain your sheets with oil marks, however.
We absolutely recommend ID Millennium for bareback sex. It last longer and a little goes a long way.
More buttery or oily lubes are better for other types of ass play – like fisting. Brands such as Crisco are famous in the gay community for their lubricating abilities.
So how do you apply lube?
A lube launcher can really help you get lube exactly where you need it.
Well, there’s two schools of thought.
As a bottom or the receptive partner you can take control of the lube situation, by maybe putting some lube on your own butthole before you begin, perhaps as you’re getting ready. Use your fingers to get some lube right up inside you. Or you can use a lube launcher, which puts the lube right where you need it!
During the action, you can cover your partner’s dick (condomed or without) with lube as you blow him or jerk him off.
Or if you’re the topper, you can maybe play with your partner’s ass during foreplay and use your fingers to fully lubricate the area. Either way, you’re going to want to make sure that you use enough – and don’t worry about stopping the action if you feel like you need more.
Remember more is more in these situations and it’s best to try a variety of lubes to see which works best for you.
Well, the party doesn’t have to stop and you can still simulate anal sex for your partner, without actually taking the D inside you.
This article discusses sexual matter.
The spoon
This has the added element of a natural sexual position. Lying in a spoon position, with the top lying behind the bottom, who spreads his legs slightly allowing the top to place his dick in between the bottom’s thighs, just below his butthole.
The bottom/person at the front then closes their legs, creating a tight crevice for the person behind. Add lube, to make it more comfortable for the both of you. Silicone lube is best for this position as you won’t need a lot and it’s very long-lasting. This position can also be achieved in doggie style.
Doggie Style
The same technique as the spoon, except the bottom, is on all fours and the top “enters” from behind by placing his dick into the groin gap between the bottom’s thigh and scrotum.
What’s cool about this position, is that both of you get a pleasurable experience, there are lots of nerve endings around the groin area so it will feel good. The top also has a wider range of movement for thrusting – so it will feel good for them too!
Plus for the cumming situ, there’s the added bonus that the top can blow his load all over his partner’s butt!
The armpit
If you’re both up for something a little bit different you could try shoulder f*cking. Yep, you read that right.
Essentially what happens here is the “top” puts his dick in the armpit gap created by the “bottom”‘s arm against his torso.
This position is great for couples who like to face each other when having sex and also those who like to think outside the box when it comes to positions.
If you like mixing laughter with f*cking, this is a great position because you’re very likely to burst out laughing at some point.
The cumming situ is also good here, as the top can spurt in various places, including the face or the torso. Win-win for all those cum lovers out there.
Apart from anything else, these positions offer an almost STI-free way of having sex. However, because there is skin on skin contact, you could still contract skin to skin STIs.
As always, it’s good to add sexual health testing to your healthcare regime. If you’re having sex regularly with the same or multiple partners, experts suggest getting a check-up every three to six months.
When it comes to gay sex (the penetrative kind) there’s usually just one way of saying what is it, anal. It’s simple, to the point and everyone knows what you’re talking about, but there’s now another way to refer to anal sex and that is, according to Urban Dictionary “Two Guys One Sandbox”
Insert shrug emoji.
We’re so not sure about this.
Firstly, the first rule of anal sex (okay it’s not the first – that’s lube, lube and more lube) but SAND and its introduction to you nether region is a complete no no…
Can you image sand all up in your junk? Oh. Dear. God. No. Just No.
I mean, we get the two guys bit, but the sandbox bit, who calls their butt a sandbox?
It seems that the “Two Guys One Sandbox” entry on Urban Dictionary was created in 2016 by a user called, treezus0522, and that entry is their one and only listing. It hasn’t, not really surprisingly received too much traction.
We spoke to the team at The STI Clinic to get the facts on how hepatitis is contracted, treated and cured.
Hepatitis A is very rare in the UK – but hepatitis B and C are much more common. All strains of hepatitis are diseases that affect the liver – but they are very different viruses which means they all need to be treated differently.
Wavebreak-Media-Ltd-bigstock
Both Hep B and C can remain outside the body for over 4 days, which makes them more contagious than a disease like HIV.
Hepatitis A is a liver infection that’s spread by a virus in faeces (poo). It’s rare in the UK but if you are likely to travel to countries where the disease is common you can get the hepatitis A vaccine to protect yourself against it.
Hepatitis A is spread mainly through contaminated food or poor handwashing, but also passes on easily through sex, including oral-anal sex (“rimming“) and giving oral sex after anal sex. Gay and bisexual men with multiple partners are particularly at risk.
Symptoms of hepatitis A can appear up to eight weeks after sex and include tiredness and nausea.
Hepatitis A is not usually life-threatening, and most people make a full recovery within a couple of months.
(C) BIGSTOCK
You can avoid getting hepatitis A by:
washing hands after sex (ideally buttocks, groin and penis too)
changing condoms between anal and oral sex
using a barrier (such as a condom cut into a square) for rimming
using latex or non-latex gloves for fingering or fisting
not sharing sex toys
asking about the hepatitis A vaccine at a sexual health or GUM (genitourinary medicine) clinic
If you think you might have hepatitis A, or have any questions, visit a sexual health clinic or GP.
Hepatitis B
http://gty.im/123537749
Hepatitis B inflames the liver and makes it unable to function properly. It’s a virus that is passed through blood, semen and vaginal fluids, so can be passed on through sexual contact (including oral sex) or through coming into contact with infected blood. Gay and bisexual men are at risk of hepatitis B, but they can be protected by the hepatitis B vaccination, which is available from sexual health clinics, genitourinary medicine (GUM) clinics or from GPs.
Hepatitis B is easier to pass on than something like HIV because it can live outside the human body for about a week.
Symptoms
In the early stages of the virus, many people only experience mild flu-like symptoms or none at all. However, people who do experience symptoms in the acute phase might experience some of the following:
Nausea
Vomiting
Fever
Jaundice
Dark urine
Light Coloured stools
Testing and treatments
Hepatitis B can be detected from around 2 months after infection and can be picked up on a finger prick test.
If you test positive, antivirals are usually used to impact virus progression. A face-to-face follow up with a health professional is recommended to decide if further treatment is required.
Health consequences
Most people will make a full recovery after a Hepatitis B infection. Around 90% of people will completely clear the virus, having no lasting problems – a process that usually takes 3-6 months. Once the person has cleared the infection, they will be immune to future Hepatitis B infections.
Around 10% of people will have the virus long-term, known as having chronic hepatitis B. Some patients in this category will remain well but will still be infectious (carriers).
Unfortunately, it’s impossible to predict how Hepatitis B will progress in a person, so anyone who tests positive for the virus should have their recovery monitored with regular check-ups.
Hepatitis C is a blood-borne virus that also affects the liver. It causes inflammation that prevents the liver from functioning properly, but it is a different virus to Hepatitis B. There are six different types of Hepatitis C that all require a different treatment approach.
Hepatitis C is most commonly contracted through injecting drug users sharing needles. There is also a small risk of infection through sexual activity.
Around 7% of HIV infected men who have sex with men have had a Hepatitis C co-infection diagnosed. There is a small risk of contracting Hepatitis C through sharing notes if you are an inhaling user of drugs such as cocaine, and there is a small risk of sharing utensils that may contain traces of blood such as razors or toothbrushes, as the virus can survive for around four days outside the body.
Most people will have no symptoms, or symptoms so mild that they are not detected. However this doesn’t mean that they are not infectious – they can still pass on the virus.
Symptoms that could be present in the chronic phase include:
Nausea
Lack of appetite
Fatigue
Muscle and joint aches
Concentration and memory impairment
Around 20% of people with Hepatitis C will clear the infection within six months, but 80% will go on to develop chronic Hepatitis C. About 30% of people with chronic Hepatitis C can develop cirrhosis of the liver over a long period of time, and a small number of infected people will develop liver cancer.
The Test
Hepatitis C can also be detected from a finger prick test, where Hepatitis C antibodies are detected. Further tests are then required to determine if the virus is still active, and which particular genome type it is.
Hep C can be detected from as early as 9 days post-exposure and can take up to 180 days for the antibodies to appear, so you might need to be retested a few times. In most cases, they can be detected between 45 and 65 days.
Treatment
There have been significant developments with Hepatitis C treatments, but the type of treatment depends on the strain of Hepatitis C you have. If you are tested positive you will be referred to a specialist to discuss possible treatments.
Making sure your back passage is clear from poop is one of the main worries for guys who are interested in anal sex, pegging, finger play or prostate massage. So what’s the best way to make sure you’re clean down there?
The bodyclock
Image by Mylene2401 from Pixabay
The least hands-on approach to being clean is all about timing. Knowing when your likely to have a clean passage. This is usually in between your regular poops. However, it’s not very reliable because it’s all very dependent on what you’ve eaten in the last 24-48 hours and how much fibre and hydration you’ve had.
There’s also still a chance that you’ll have poo inside your rectum, even after you go, which could lead to chucks being dislodged during play – which let’s face it nobody wants.
If you’re keen to be really confident, then you’ll have do some douching.
Why does anal sex hurt so much I’ve been having anal sex for years and still hurts to this day
Bob
Dear Bob,
Your question is one that is asked often and one that has many answers. You say that you’ve been having anal sex for many years and it has continuously hurt, but I’d like to understand if this is unbearable pain or discomfort?
Many guys who bottom will agree that there is a degree of discomfort when it comes to backdoor activities, this is pretty much normal, particularly for newbies to butt sex, but the overall pleasure experienced can often outweigh the discomfort.
But if you are suffering unbearable pain during sex then you may need to seek medical advice from your GP – as there may be a more pressing underlying issue.
That said there are a few things that you can try.
Limit the length
The Ohnut, was designed for women who suffer from endometriosis, to help limit the amount of penis that actually enters the vagina, but it can easily work for anal sex too.
Essentially the Ohnut stops the top from entering you too far – giving you more control over how much cock you’re actually taking.
Worn externally at the base of a penetrating partner e.g. on their shaft or on a toy, Ohnut compresses down to act as a soft buffer during sex. Each set comes with 4 linking rings that allow you to make simple adjustments, so you and your partner can not only discover comfort but also what depths feel really good for both of you.
Lube, Lube and more lube
It goes without saying that lube is always your friend when it comes to sex. I’m sure you’re already using lube but have you tried different types? The lube that you may be using might actually be part of the problem. Don’t just rely on the freebies that you can get from gay bars and clubs.
There are now lubes specifically designed for anal play, which are thicker and longer-lasting. There are water, silicone and oil-based lubricants available. It might be worth exploring if any of these types make the experience more pleasurable for you. A word of warning though, oil-based lubes are not good for use with condoms.
Have you tried self play? There are dilators – dildo kits that have a variety of sizes to help you relax the sphincter. You start off with a small insertable and as you become accustomed to the feel and feel you can go larger.
The best bit about this is it’s all you. There’s no rush and you can take time to find out what feels right for you.
Are you relaxed?
(C) BIGSTOCK
One of the biggest issues we face when having butt sex is not the actual mechanics of the butt and all its nerve endings and muscles, it’s actually your mind.
Are you in a relaxed state? Are you anxious when having sex? Is the sex you’re having, actually the sex you want?
Only you can answer these questions, but having a think about your mind frame when having sex might lead you to some answers surrounding your discomfort.
Always remember if sex is just too painful and you want it to stop, then make sure your partner knows and hears you. It’s your body and you don’t have to continue if you don’t want to.
If it hurts your butt when you get fingered, you should read on.
The ass is pretty darn resilient and there’s a pleasure to be had from anal sex, but there are a few golden rules to make sure you keep safe and reduce pain.
Use a good amount of lube and have a towel handy that you can wipe your hands, as it can get quite messy. **That** scene in Brokeback Mountain – as hot as it looks, is just not that realistic. A bit of spit and shove isn’t going to cut it. Use a good lube – and there are a few to choose from on the market. You might find that you get on with some better than others. Try the trial or travel sizes until you find the perfect lube.
One of the most misleading things about porn is that you can’t just stick it in – and that includes fingers. You need to take it gradually. You could start off with a bit of rimming and then move on to a finger – then if that feels good maybe two. Don’t just go for it. You will cause yourself a lot of pain.
You could do a bit of prep yourself before sex. Perhaps while you’re in the shower – or if you douche you could get your butt used to the feeling of a finger or two up there before you get down with your partner. Using warm water to douche could help you relax as well.
You say that it hurts after fingering, are your boyfriend’s fingernails ragged? If he’s got claws that a Gruffalo would be proud of it’s time to invest in some nail clippers for him. He may be, unknowingly tearing your insides – which will make the whole experience uncomfortable.
Keep the fingering motion smooth and long and thin (goes right in). He shouldn’t curl up his fingers inside you – this is going to cause discomfort. No vigorous finger jamming like he’s Donald Trump giving a speech.
You could always try a desensitising spray or lube.
Numbing lubes could be the way to know, but make sure you look out for sides for trauma and if you still fill discomfort, stop immediately.
Anal Training
You could go down the anal training route. There are anal toys that act like dilators, we call them anal trainers. They start from a small and thinner insertable that gently stretches your anus. When you get used to the smallest size you can go to the next size. Each time, take it slowly and use lube. Eventually, you should be able to take the largest toy, without too much discomfort.
So to recap: take time and use lube.
If you’re really concerned that there’s something wrong book an appointment to see your GP.
The advice listed above is not intended to replace or take the place of that of your own doctor, GP or medical professional who knows your full medical history. If in any doubt make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible.
*Disclosure links contained in this article point towards our very own shop, this was not a paid placement and there are other shops available.
Whether you’re going for a mini vibe or a traffic cone type of toy, you’ll need the right lube, so which is the right one to use?
We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again – any butt play is going to need to start off with some kind of lubricant. The anus isn’t self-lubricating so you’re going to need lots of it. Depending on the size of your toy you’ll need different lubes for different activities.
If it’s a smaller prostate massager like the Optimale P Male Slate, which you’re probably not going to be moving in and out and is just going to sit inside you, then you could try just spit. It’s free and simple – everybody has access to that.
However, if you’re going to be using a huge toy, like the American Bombshell Destroyer that you’re going to be riding to show off your skills on Twitter, then you’re going to need a lube that will stop friction and the damage that could cause you.
You should check with the manufacturer of the toy because some toys can’t be used with some types of lube other than water-based. Oil-based lubes are likely to rot or even melt your toy, so keep them away. Depending on the material your toy is made from you shouldn’t even keep toys together without a layer of protection between them, like a cloth or a cotton bag.
Some toys though are silicone lube safe and this is probably one of the better lube types to use for toy play because silicone lube lasts the longest. Silicone lube tends to be a little more expensive than water-based but generally lasts longer so you could end up using less of it. We like using the ID Millennium lube which comes in a variety of sizes. If water-based is your thing then look no further than the Liquid Silk range of lubes. Liquid Silk has a great smooth texture to it – plus the whiteness of the lube has the added bonus of looking a bit like spunk!
For extra help in getting the lube where it actually needs to go you could always try a lube dispenser, a genius way of getting lube deep inside your butt rather than just at the entrance.
I’m worried about farts during sex. I’m still a butt virgin, meaning I’ve not had anal sex yet as a bottom, but I’m worried that I might fart, which seems like it’s the most embarrassing thing that can happen during sex. What can I do to stop the farts.”
However, with the dick acting as a plunger into your ass, air will creep in and at some point that air has to come out. It’s just all part of the butt sex thing and the best thing to do is either laugh it off or just ignore it. Your top will most likely be totally engrossed with what he’s doing that he won’t notice and if he’s totally grossed out by your bottom rasp then maybe he needs to reconsider his sex role.
So stop worrying, as worrying will only cause you to tense up and being tense (down there) during sex is not a good thing. Don’t compare your sex life to that of what you see in porn, where tops are able to stick their dicks in straight away, they always have hard cocks and bottoms can take a pounding for what seems like hours on end and never fart. Sex in real life can be messy, can take lots of time and can be very funny. So relax. If you need tips on how to be clean during anal sextry out these suggestions if you want to know about what type of lube for anal is the bestclick here.
Just make sure you’re ready, use lots of lube and have fun.
