Well, it could mean a variety of things to a variety of people, but generally, the “bottom” is the guy who is the receptive partner in anal sex. Although it could be a label for someone who is more sub within sex.
So the guy who’s underneath (or on top if you’re doing the cowboy) is known as the “bottom”. The giver is known as the “Top”. Not everybody likes the terms “top” or “bottom” for some being a bottom is seen as less than, more subservient or more effeminate, but some, like Big Brother US star Ragan Fox, have empowered the word and meaning by calling themselves, “power bottoms”.
Otherwise, you could go with giver and givee, catcher and pitcher or just their names… (no labels!)
If you’re in your twenties then you might not remember a time when we used to have to use a dialup modem to get onto the internet, use the house phone line, and the only way to really get photos online was to scan actual photos – yep, printed pieces of paper, which used to always scan upside down for some reason.
It was a ball ache and took ages – and that’s if the website you were using accepted photos. So most people didn’t bother.
Therefore it was very common to start a chat conversation, with a random person, with the acronym “ASL”, which simply means Age, Sex Location. A super-quick way to discover if the person you were talking to was your vibe.
Thanks to smartphones and gay dating apps, like Grindr location and sex are pretty much taken care of, however, you might still need to ask his age, if that kind of thing is important to you.
ASL can also stand for American Sign Language, so it could also mean that, particularly if you’re in the US, that the person you’re messaging can sign.
Age play is all about guys who like to age up or age down – outside of their biological ages. This isn’t about daddies or twinks. It’s all to do with creating a fantasy where a couple (or more) roleplay another age group altogether.
That means that certain guys might be into wearing diapers and nappies and being changed.
Others might be into older age play, which means they’re likely to want to get kinky with equipment most commonly used with older people, like Zimmer frames and commodes.
Not everyone can work from home and for those who are on the frontline of the current public health crisis; you have my thanks and my respect. But for those who have to work from home, whether they are social distancing, self-isolating here are a few things which can help to make it a little easier. Here are THEGAYUK’s top 5 tips for getting through the working week.
Give Your Day Structure.
It’s great to roll out of bed at one minute to nine and pick up the computer to log on and start work, but don’t be tempted to fall into that trap, otherwise, work-life and home life will simply merge into one. Get some structure in your day. Get up at your usual time, undertake your usual morning routine, have a shower and, most importantly, get dressed. As tempting as it is to slouch on your sofa all day in your PJ’s or underpants if you get dressed, it adds structure to your day and helps you to differentiate between your work life and home life.
A new report has shown that dating apps are thirsty… and not just in a Chris Pine thirst kinda way.
The online comparison site, Uswitch analysed 50 of the most popular apps of all major app stores, taking into account the permissions they allow and how many each app has access to, constantly draining the energy from your phone.
The results revealed that gay favourite Grindr is the most draining dating app, using 28 permissions in total including location, photos and identity.
Now that social distancing has been encouraged to delay Coronavirus, this has resulted in a spike in online dating app activity. As more find themselves caught indoors, many are relying on digital to ignite romantic and social conversations, here’s a guide to the apps to use to limit your usage (and the ones you will need your charger for) as you look for love.
What Uswitch found was that Grindr asked for way more permissions (28) that other dating apps including, Bumble (20), Tinder (18) and Hinge (13).
But if you’re looking for the most permission seeking apps – and therefore most battery-intensive, look no further than Google (72), Facebook (50) and Facebook Messenger (46).
Based on the permissions they require, Google, Facebook and WhatsApp are the biggest drains on our batteries.
Facebook amongst others in the top 10, runs constantly on our mobile phones in the background and is accessing over 50 permissions including; contacts, location and media.
It might appear that Amazon’s Alexa is listening more than we realise. The Alexa app requests 39 permissions on our mobile phones ranging from location, camera and photos/media even when it’s not running.
Uber also makes the top 10 with 35 battery-draining permissions constantly accessing our location causing your battery to die faster than others. Waze is one of the most raved about map applications but is found to be more draining than Google maps.
Other apps such as Tik Tok, Mcdonalds, Grindr and Snapchat all make the top 20 list which can be found here.
Ernest Doku, mobiles expert at Uswitch.com advises on how to preserve your mobile phone battery, “It’s estimated that over 5 billion people in the world now own a mobile phone, it’s our main form of communication and for some people even a method of payment.
It can cause issues when you’re caught out with a drained battery. There are a few simple ways to preserve your mobile phone’s battery life, such as turning off WiFi/Bluetooth and making the most of low power modes.
If all else fails, remember to put a portable charger in your bag on long journeys”.
Does social distancing also mean hookups? What about hooking up and having sex during the current situation, particularly if you’re living with HIV?
Firstly we asked Doctor Earim Chaudry, the Medical Director at Manual, who told us that Covid-19 isn’t sexually transmitted, but the virus can still be transmitted by direct contact between two people, particularly through droplets from coughs and sneezes – it goes without saying, if you’re swapping saliva you’re at risk if the other person is positive for Covid-19.
We also asked, leading HIV awareness activist, Philip Baldwin who told THEGAYUK.com, that there is no evidence to suggest that “HIV positive people are more vulnerable to Covid-19” or that people living with HIV would be more severely affected.
However, he added, “HIV positive people, LGBTQ people and the population, in general, should aim to follow the Government’s guidance on social distancing and self-isolation.”
He continued,
“As we are not even supposed to be sitting or standing next to each other in restaurants or bars, I think it is a struggle to interpret the guidance as not prohibiting hooking up! However, the Government has currently only issued guidance. I suggest you follow it, for your own safety and that of others, but (at the moment) no laws have been passed to enforce it.
“It is therefore not illegal to hook up with people. This could change. It could be the case that, as in other parts of the world, legislation will be passed enforcing curfews in the UK.
“I urge you not to switch on your dating apps and start hooking up”
Philip went on to say, “It has to be noted that human beings are social creatures. We were not made to be stuck indoors for days, let alone months. Especially alone.
“Sometimes we all crave intimacy or escapism, particularly in times of fear. However, I urge you not to switch on your dating apps and start hooking up. Society as a whole, including the LGBTQ community, needs to observe the emergency health measures.”
If you’re living with HIV and you are concerned about the ability to get HIV medications during the current Covid-19 outbreak we’ve got some reassuring news for you. Click here to find out more
As it stands, all we really know is that Covid-19 is spread through droplets from when people sneeze and cough.
The reproduction rate of the coronavirus is pretty high (higher than the normal flu) which is why we’re being told to wash our hands for 20 seconds and to cough and sneeze into the crook of our elbow or into tissues.
“While Coronavirus isn’t an STI, the virus can still be transmitted by direct content between two people and if one partner is infected, there’s a strong chance the other partner would also contract the virus.
“The virus can enter through these droplets through the eyes, nose or throat if you are in close contact, which means it can be spread by touch if a person has used their hands to cover their mouth or nose when they coughed or sneezed.
So what are the chances of being infected if you come into contact with someone who has Covid-19? Well as Dr Chaudry explains, “Covid-19 is also a highly infectious virus, which means if you are in close contact with someone infected there’s a high chance you will also become infected”.
If you’re having sex at this time, the good doctor gives this advice,
“As for safe sex, I wouldn’t recommend getting intimate with someone you’re unfamiliar without protection regardless of Covid-19.
“Always practice good ole fashioned safe sex: that means wearing a condom if you don’t know your partner’s sexual health/history. Stay safe!”
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So what are the symptoms?
The symptoms to look out for are primarily a new cough or fever.
Feeling panicky, isolated or anxious during these uncertain times? We’ve created a resource page which has important phone numbers, articles and support groups listed. Click here to go there.
Health officials have outlined guidance for self-isolating if you have symptoms of Covid-19.
The symptoms of Covid-19 include a new continuous cough and/ or a high temperature.
The guidance states that if you live alone and you have those symptoms you should stay at home for 7 days from when the symptoms started.
If you live with other people but they are well, they should stay at home for 14 days. The 14-day period starts from the day when the first person in the house became ill.
Making sure that people self-isolate for 14 days will “greatly reduce the overall amount of infection the household could pass on to others in the community” according to the Government issued guidance.
THEGAYUK has put together a page full of useful articles, helplines and other resources for the wellbeing of our community. Check it out here.
The Government has called upon people to start “social distancing” in order to protect older people and the most vulnerable in society, this includes those living with HIV and AIDS and those who have compromised immune systems.
You ask a good question and one that could be applied to any number of viruses or infections that we face every time we make the decision to hook up with someone random off an app.
Every time we decide to hook up with someone we haven’t received an entire up-to-date health scan from (read: basically every time) you are at some risk, but overall we make the call that the risk is worth the play.
I think coronavirus could be a good engine for change or adaptation for our community. It might invite us to start talking more openly about our sexual health, testing and well-being in general and there’s no harm in having a conversation with someone about their health before you hook up.
The more we talk about these things, hopefully, the less stigma there is attached to our health.
But with that said, it would be prudent to take some precautions.
You could ask the person you’re planning to meet with whether they’re likely to have come into contact with the virus – i.e. have they travelled from one of the places hardest hit with the virus – like China, Iran, Italy or South Korea.
However, given that the incubation period for this virus is assumed to be around two weeks, even someone who isn’t showing any symptoms may actually be carrying the virus.
Be wary of your own heath – do you have underlying health conditions that could lead to complications should you become infected with the coronavirus.
Keep the NHS website in your bookmarks for updates from the medical professionals and make your decisions based on their advice.
Matthew, in the end, it’s up to you. I wouldn’t stop having fun at this stage, but I’d urge you and others to self isolate if you think you’ve started to get symptoms and not just with Corona – don’t hook up with guys if you’ve got a cold, flu or if you’re in treatment for an STI.
Let’s not spread infections around.
We’re a community that needs to protect each other.
While I’m at it, why not go for a sexual health check-up – ask about PrEP, the HPV and Hepatitis vaccines.
As thousands of us are facing lockdowns and self isolations anxiety levels for some are rising.
As countries around the globe fully or partially closed down public services, shops and schools due to Coronavirus, there are growing concerns for OCD, depression and anxiety sufferers that the British government will soon implement more dramatic measures to contain the spread of coronavirus in the UK.
Gerard Barnes, CEO of mental health treatment specialists, Smart TMS, gives his insight on the mental health implications of the circumstances surrounding coronavirus, shares tips on how to safeguard one’s mental health, and highlights the importance on supporting friends, family and loved ones as the situation develops:
“It is certainly important to take the necessary precautions to protect one’s physical health given the circumstances surrounding the spread of COVID-19, but there is now a real threat of a serious mental health crisis alongside the potential physical effects, particularly to those already suffering with chronic anxiety, depression or OCD.
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Here’s what you can do if you’re anxiety or depression is starting to spike.
Check in on your loved ones
While you may not be able to pay a visit to your friends and family if widespread quarantine and self-isolation measures are introduced, staying in touch with your loved ones through social media, video calling or messaging is more valuable than ever. Not being in close proximity to people can have a negative impact on your mood and energy levels, and it is therefore imperative that you maintain regular contact with loved ones to improve your mood and make it easier to deal with these stressful and lonely times.
Stay Active
When self-isolating, it is important to make sure that you stay active. Whilst it is impossible to go to a gym and inadvisable to exercise in a public space, we would highly recommend engaging in moderate exercise at home, ideally for 30 minutes a day. Exercise is one of the best ways to fight symptoms of mental health problems, and people who are less physically active are more at risk of anxiety and depression.
Eat well and stay hydrated
Make sure to think about your diet carefully – this is vital to both your physical and mental health. If your regular routine changes or you are less active than usual, your blood sugar levels are certain to affect your mood and energy levels, so be sure to eat healthily and drink enough water to ensure your body is in its best condition.
Netflix hits like Sex Education and Stranger Things could be causing damage to the environment with millions of tonnes of Carbon Dioxide being released into our atmosphere, a study has found.
Netflix and other streaming platforms have become the main source of TV viewing for millions of us across the UK, but new research shows that the habit might not be that eco-friendly.
For an individual to stream video content, it has to travel through a complex network (i.e. cables, routers, data centres etc.) that runs on vast sums of electricity. This electricity in turn generates carbon dioxide (CO2) – which can leave a devastating impact on the environment.
Interested in the carbon footprint from streaming, energy comparison site SaveonEnergy utilised official viewership figures to discover what watching Netflix’s top original movies and shows is equivalent to in terms of miles driven by a car, and the amount of carbon dioxide (CO2) emitted.
Series like AJ and The Queen use a lot of power, both in their creation and their supply to our homes.
Save on Energy found that the energy generated from Netflix users’ total 80 million views of the thriller Birdbox is the equivalent of driving more than 146 million miles and emitting over 66 million kg of CO2.
To put that into context, the
equivalent of driving from London
(United Kingdom) to Istanbul
(Turkey) and back 38,879 times.
The energy produced from 73 million streams of Adam Sandler’s Murder Mystery translates to driving over 104 million miles and emitting more than 47 million kg of CO2.
Since taking a return flight from London (United Kingdom) to Los Angeles (United States) creates 1,650 kg of CO2 per person – this means an individual needs to fly 28,610 times from London to Los Angeles and back to produce the same amount of CO2 amassed by every Netflix user who has watched Murder Mystery.
And binging on your favourite series?
Save on Energy discovered that the energy accumulated from the 64 million streams of Stranger Things season three is comparable to driving more than 420 million miles and emitting over 186 million kg of CO2.
This is effectively driving from
Marrakech (Morocco) to Cape
Town (South Africa) and back
12,771 times.
Subsequently, the energy garnered from 45 million views of the Umbrella Academy season one, translates to driving more than 164 million miles and emitting over 364 million kg of CO2.
Flying from London to Perth and back produces 3,153 kg of CO2 per person – this means an individual would need to fly 115,657 times from London (United Kingdom) to Perth (Australia) and back to produce the same amount of CO2 generated from those who have watched Umbrella Academy season one.
Save on Energy discovered that the energy accumulated from the 64 million streams of ‘Stranger Things’ season three is comparable to driving more than 420 million miles and emitting over 189 million kg of CO2.
This is effectively driving from
Marrakech (Morocco) to Cape
Town (South Africa) and back
28,391 times.
Subsequently, the energy garnered from 45 million views of the ‘Umbrella Academy’ season one, translates to driving more than 364 million miles and emitting over 164 million kg of CO2.
Flying from London to Perth and back produces 3,153 kg of CO2 per person – this means an individual
would need to fly 52,046 times from London (United Kingdom) to Perth (Australia) and back to
produce the same amount of CO2 generated from those who have watched ‘Umbrella Academy
season one’.
Flying from London to Perth and back produces 3,153 kg of CO2 per person – this means an individual would need to fly 115,657 times from London (United Kingdom) to Perth (Australia) and back to produce the same amount of CO2 generated from those who have watched Umbrella Academy season one.
“This includes the energy use of companies we work with such as Amazon Web Services and Google Cloud, and the power required to support the servers we install with internet providers.
“We don’t control this energy footprint, so we’re not able to address its efficiency directly ourselves. But we do account for the emissions by matching them with regional renewable energy certificates and carbon offsets.
“This indirect energy use was about 357,000 megawatt-hours in 2019.
*This article was updated to reflect the correct miles and C02 emissions.
