If that hot guy you hooked up with isn’t getting back to you, chances are you’ve been ghosted.
First of all, what does being ghosted mean?
The process of being ghosted means that a person that you’ve gotten to know well, perhaps over the course of a few weeks or months, suddenly and inexplicably disappears.
They cease all communications with you.
They don’t even seem to have checked their messages.
You can be ghosted in a real-life relationship and in an online relationship. basically they’ve turned into a ghost.
Now sometimes there could be a very good reason why they’ve become ghosts and some may even have a legitimate reason for the disappearing act – perhaps, maybe they actually did die! There’s no way of knowing whether they did, particularly if your relationship was solely online via a private app like Grindr.
And perhaps they already had a partner who found out about the affairs and has ground their partner’s phone into a fine dust – unfortunately, you’ll probably never know.
So how often does ghosting happen on dating apps?
We ran a quick poll on our social media and it turns out is very very common. Around 83% who answered the poll said that being ghosted “happened a lot” and that it happened to them in the past.
So to answer the question, yes, ghosting does happen a lot of dating ups.
It could be lethal. So here’s what you need to know.
CREDIT: TheGayUK
One doctor told THEGAYUK.com, that taking a Viagra and poppers together, could cause “…a significant drop in the blood pressure that can lead to collapse and death”
Those are the words of a doctor who is warning users that mixing Viagra and poppers together could cause some real damage to health after a new study revealed that over half (55 per cent) of people who use Viagra have also used poppers alongside them. Over half of those said they had no idea of the dangers of mixing.
In the survey by AssuredPharmacy over 1400 people were questioned about their popper usage, 80 per cent admitted to using poppers and over half admitted to using poppers regularly.
Aside from a headache, potential skin burns and fainting, poppers are known to cause a drop in blood pressure, and mixing with Viagra according to one doctor, could be very dangerous.
Speaking to THEGAYUK.com Dr Roisin McHugh BSc, MBBS, MRCGP, DRCOG, DCH, DGM, DPD said,
“Alkyl nitrites, commonly known as poppers, if taken in combination with sildenafil (Viagra) can have a dangerous effect. The combination will cause a drop in blood pressure, this can be a significant drop in the blood pressure that can lead to collapse and death”
Are poppers safe?
Many gay and bisexual men use poppers and don’t suffer any issues, however, their usage does come with warnings. For instance, they can cause death if swallowed. Also, people who have heart problems should stay away from using them – especially when combined with other medications, such as Viagra. They can cause a person’s blood pressure to drop incredibly low.
Don’t forget the skin burns!
Doctor McHugh also warned about skin burns, saying, “Poppers cause chemical burns if you get the liquid on your skin and don’t wash it off with water quickly enough. In rare cases, there are also some reports that poppers can cause impaired vision or sight loss, although this may be reversible if you stop using them. If you abuse them heavily you can experience crusty yellow facial skin lesions around the lips, nose and mouth”.
In 2014 optometrists warned about vision loss in those who habitually use poppers. There have been reports of temporary and permanent vision loss. It is referred to as “poppers maculopathy”.
If you experience any issues with your eyesight you should seek medical advice.
Your profile picture is the first thing that other members will see of you, so take some time to get it right. We’ve put together some tips on what works and what doesn’t work for the perfect profile picture.
It goes without saying that your profile picture should be of you. We’re not fond of catfishing, fraud or just pictures of cartoon characters. You’re a real person, so a real picture of you is best.
Remember what they say first impressions can last a lifetime so make sure, when you’re choosing yours, that it reflects exactly how you want to portray yourself.
So here are our top tips:
Recent photos
Make sure your profile picture is recent. We’ve all heard the stories of people turning up to dates only to discover that the person they meet is a good ten years older than their profile photo. It’s a bit like trades description. People want to know who they are meeting – a trustworthy and honest person will have an up-to-date, recent picture of themselves. It’ll also help identify you if you guys actually meet in real life.
Just you and only you
Don’t crowd the picture with other people. We can assume that you have friends. You don’t need to show us – after all, we’re interested in meeting just you, to begin with… not your friends. If you want to add pictures with family, friends, pets etc add them to your private galleries.
A leading doctor has revealed what can cause piles and how you can avoid them.
Doctor Diana Gall, from Doctor-4-U, has revealed to THEGAYUK what causes piles and no, anal sex isn’t one of them.
Dr Gall told us, “Piles, also known as haemorrhoids, are a common condition which anyone can get. You are more likely to get them when you are older, but they can occur at any time, regardless of age.
“Piles occur when blood vessels inside or around your anus become swollen, creating lumps which are usually small, round and discoloured. The most common causes of piles are constipation and straining too much when you go to the toilet. They can also be caused by lifting heavy objects or having a persistent cough.
Can anal sex cause piles?
The good doc continues, “Many people think piles can be caused by anal sex, but this is very unlikely. Though anal sex can irritate existing piles, so plenty of lube should be used to avoid as much irritation as possible.
How to avoid getting piles
“While piles can never become 100% avoidable for anyone”, Dr Gall tells us, “you’ll have a much better chance of preventing them if you maintain a diet containing plenty of fibre-rich foods and drink plenty of fluids. You should, however, limit your intake of caffeinated drinks such as tea and coffee. Keeping your bottom clean and dry and using a softer alternative to toilet paper (like moist toilet tissues) can help a lot too if you’re frequently getting piles. Exercising regularly can also help prevent piles, but your diet and hygiene are bigger factors.
What to do if you get piles
If you do end up getting piles, then you’ll want to be able to identify relevant symptoms. The lumps this condition creates may or may not be large enough to come out of your anus. It depends on how severe your condition proves to be. If you can feel lumps or pain around your anus, then this is most likely a clear sign of piles.
A “total bottom” explained that his world didn’t end when his hook up pulled a simple trick move.
In a world of labels, how absolute are the labels top and bottom? Well, one “total bottom” on Reddit revealed that he actually had a great time when the roles were unexpectedly reversed when his hook up switched things up.
User HardTomHardy, who considers himselfan exclusive bottom, who said that he’s submissive and a bit “kinky”, described a “good shock” when his hook up shook up the bedroom antics after returning from the bathroom for a second round.
HardTomHardy wrote that the second time around, his hook up tied his hands together and blindfolded him and was getting down to some oral business when “the next thing I feel is the tightest grip ever-expanding down the length of my shaft. It took me a second to realize that I was in him and I loved it. He took the blindfold and f*cked himself on my dick like a pro.”
“Honestly, it blew my mind”
(C) BIGSTOCK
He went on to explain, “I didn’t have to do anything except when the orgasm him I bucked into him uncontrollably. Honestly, it blew my mind. I never thought I would get to feel this, that my dick would bring me and someone else to orgasm.”
He was quick to add, “And before people say he violated me, nope don’t even go there. If I had said to stop he would. And no his ass is not self-lubricated. He prepped himself in the bathroom and used a small buttplug“.
Users responded, on the whole, positively to the story, with one adding, “It’s largely psychological, IMO. A healthy, functioning dick will respond to the right stimulation, as long as you don’t let your mind get in the way”, while another wrote, “I’ve always felt that guys who pigeonhole themselves into only one position or the other just haven’t been with the right partner. Versatility is the spice of life”.
Another encouraged, “Maybe from here on out your [sic] Vers. Sounds like you loved being inside him so why stop?”
If it hurts your butt when you get fingered, you should read on.
The ass is pretty darn resilient and there’s a pleasure to be had from anal sex, but there are a few golden rules to make sure you keep safe and reduce pain.
Use a good amount of lube and have a towel handy that you can wipe your hands, as it can get quite messy. **That** scene in Brokeback Mountain – as hot as it looks, is just not that realistic. A bit of spit and shove isn’t going to cut it. Use a good lube – and there are a few to choose from on the market. You might find that you get on with some better than others. Try the trial or travel sizes until you find the perfect lube.
One of the most misleading things about porn is that you can’t just stick it in – and that includes fingers. You need to take it gradually. You could start off with a bit of rimming and then move on to a finger – then if that feels good maybe two. Don’t just go for it. You will cause yourself a lot of pain.
You could do a bit of prep yourself before sex. Perhaps while you’re in the shower – or if you douche you could get your butt used to the feeling of a finger or two up there before you get down with your partner. Using warm water to douche could help you relax as well.
You say that it hurts after fingering, are your boyfriend’s fingernails ragged? If he’s got claws that a Gruffalo would be proud of it’s time to invest in some nail clippers for him. He may be, unknowingly tearing your insides – which will make the whole experience uncomfortable.
Keep the fingering motion smooth and long and thin (goes right in). He shouldn’t curl up his fingers inside you – this is going to cause discomfort. No vigorous finger jamming like he’s Donald Trump giving a speech.
You could always try a desensitising spray or lube.
Numbing lubes could be the way to know, but make sure you look out for sides for trauma and if you still fill discomfort, stop immediately.
Anal Training
You could go down the anal training route. There are anal toys that act like dilators, we call them anal trainers. They start from a small and thinner insertable that gently stretches your anus. When you get used to the smallest size you can go to the next size. Each time, take it slowly and use lube. Eventually, you should be able to take the largest toy, without too much discomfort.
So to recap: take time and use lube.
If you’re really concerned that there’s something wrong book an appointment to see your GP.
The advice listed above is not intended to replace or take the place of that of your own doctor, GP or medical professional who knows your full medical history. If in any doubt make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible.
*Disclosure links contained in this article point towards our very own shop, this was not a paid placement and there are other shops available.
Ever wondered whether it was safe to use a banana in the bedroom?
It might seem like a no brainer – after all banana are a bit penisy – and are cheap as, well bananas but they might not actually be the best thing to use as a sex toy.
There are two main issues. One they are very squishy once out of their skins – I wouldn’t recommend using a banana with its skin still on, because the ends are quite rough and could cause internal damage.
Secondly, bananas don’t have a flared end, like dildos and butt plugs, which means if you lose your grip you’re going to have to poop it out, or maybe even mush it out. Which might be your thing, but probably won’t feel great.
What’s more, if you end up having trouble passing it, you could end up in casualty, which let’s face it is not the best way to spend a Sunday morning.
Using fruit and veg could be a great way to excite and reignite your sex life though. Using soft fleshy, non-acidic fruit such as honeydew melons or watermelons can be an exciting way to get new sensations. Simply put a hole in it and thrusting in and out will provide interesting brand new feelings.
Alternatively, you can always use other foodstuffs such as chocolate spreads or even Marmite, who recently brought out body paint.
Caution must be used when inserting anything into your butt that doesn’t have a handle or gives a good grip. People have ended up in A&E after failing to retrieve a cucumber, banana or carrot that’s gotten lodged in their rectums. Anything that gets stuck up your butt will be a painful experience that can actually lead to death if left untreated. We would urge anyone who has gotten anything stuck up there to seek medical advice immediately, no matter how embarrassed you feel.
If you’re looking to insert something of a edible variety, why not try a lollipop or ice cubes, which will melt.
It’s best to use toys that are actually designed for insertion, such as dildos and vibrators. Don’t forget if you’re using toys together and share them, to use a fresh condom before using it on your partner, and wash them properly after use.
If you are going to insert a carrot, gherkin, cucumber or banana, make sure you’re relaxed. Some of these veg can be much larger than a penis, so using lots of lube and taking your time is a must.
Whether you’re going for a mini vibe or a traffic cone type of toy, you’ll need the right lube, so which is the right one to use?
We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again – any butt play is going to need to start off with some kind of lubricant. The anus isn’t self-lubricating so you’re going to need lots of it. Depending on the size of your toy you’ll need different lubes for different activities.
If it’s a smaller prostate massager like the Optimale P Male Slate, which you’re probably not going to be moving in and out and is just going to sit inside you, then you could try just spit. It’s free and simple – everybody has access to that.
However, if you’re going to be using a huge toy, like the American Bombshell Destroyer that you’re going to be riding to show off your skills on Twitter, then you’re going to need a lube that will stop friction and the damage that could cause you.
You should check with the manufacturer of the toy because some toys can’t be used with some types of lube other than water-based. Oil-based lubes are likely to rot or even melt your toy, so keep them away. Depending on the material your toy is made from you shouldn’t even keep toys together without a layer of protection between them, like a cloth or a cotton bag.
Some toys though are silicone lube safe and this is probably one of the better lube types to use for toy play because silicone lube lasts the longest. Silicone lube tends to be a little more expensive than water-based but generally lasts longer so you could end up using less of it. We like using the ID Millennium lube which comes in a variety of sizes. If water-based is your thing then look no further than the Liquid Silk range of lubes. Liquid Silk has a great smooth texture to it – plus the whiteness of the lube has the added bonus of looking a bit like spunk!
For extra help in getting the lube where it actually needs to go you could always try a lube dispenser, a genius way of getting lube deep inside your butt rather than just at the entrance.
We used to say it with flowers — but now the true sign of modern love is a change in Facebook status from ‘single’ to ‘in a relationship’, according to research.
CREDIT: Oneinchpunch-bigstock
A survey asking 2,000 adults about the modern signs of true love found a massive 64 per cent said updating on social media makes a new relationship ‘official’. Having your partner’s photo as your desktop background, using their name for your online passwords and saving their favourite shows to your Netflix account were also named as modern signs of true love.
Amazingly, over a third of adults confessed they would say ‘I love you’ for the first time in a text, instant message or video chat.
The research also found being in constant contact is indicative of a modern relationship – with the average couple texting or instant messaging each other seven times throughout the day. Texting habits were often mentioned amid the list of true love, with 13 per cent who said they’d rather send a soppy text than buy a spontaneous gift for their partner. Sending a text in the morning and night is the done thing if living separately, said a quarter of adults – as well as sending one more when arriving somewhere safely.
Signing greeting cards from both of you, coming home from a night out to be with them and feeling strange having the bed to yourself were all named as modern signs of a serious relationship.
Interestingly, the results showed independence to be important in modern love, with many who said being able to have your own bank accounts and your own friends are signs of true love.
The study found many people look to Facebook to confirm a relationship – as a huge 63 per cent of adults said they’ve only found out about a friend’s new partner because of their profile updates. s well as a change in online relationship status, things are serious with a partner if they’re Facebook friends with your family members, said 19 per cent of adults.
And one in ten said a committed partner would ‘tag’ them on social media to let their friends know they’re on a date.
THE MODERN SIGNS OF TRUE LOVE
Wavebreak-Media-Ltd-bigstock
1. Signing greeting cards from both of you
2. Come home to them early when on a night out
3. Not wearing make-up or doing your hair
4. Feeling strange when you have the bed to yourself
5. Updating to ‘In a relationship’ on Facebook
6. Knowing what to order them when getting a takeaway
7. Being in constant contact, through texts, instant messages or calls
8. Texting when arriving somewhere so they know you’re safe
9. Texting goodnight/morning texts if you aren’t staying together
10. Having their photo as your desktop background/phone wallpaper
11. Buying their favourite food when grocery shopping
12. Answering the door to them in pyjamas/trackie bottoms
13. Having your own bank accounts/cash as well as a shared account
14. Your family members ‘adding’ your other half on social media
15. No longer being envious of your friends’ single lives
16. Finding yourself getting them spontaneous gifts based on private jokes
17. Each having your own friends, not just ‘couple friends’
18. Finishing off each other’s sentences
19. Enjoying doing their laundry when they’ve been staying with you
20. Having their favourite shows saved to your Netflix account
21. Tagging them on Facebook when you’re out together/on a date
22. Using his name or birthday for online passwords
23. Wearing one of his t-shirts to bed
24. Leaving a long line of kisses at the ends of texts or messages
25. Going on a diet/cutting out alcohol when they do
In an exclusive poll by THEGAYUK, lots of people say they just want to hear the truth…
CREDIT: GaudiLab/bigstock
What do you do when someone you’re not interested in, messages you on a hookup app like Grindr? Do you ignore, block or tell them truthfully that you’re just not into them? Trouble is, it’s quite difficult to be truthful to someone about your lack of attraction to them, without coming off rude.
Well according to our research users of dating apps would prefer that you told them directly that they aren’t your type. In fact, overwhelmingly, 68 per cent of us would, apparently prefer to know the truth.
Twenty-five per cent would prefer to just be ignored and the other seven per cent said that they’d be happy to just be blocked.
How do we actually react?
However, in contrast, when asked how people actually react when someone they don’t fancy hits them up on a dating app, most people admitted that they just tend to ignore or just block. Only around 44 per cent of guys say they are actually truthful and tell the other person that they’re not interested.
What’s the best way to tell someone you’re not interested?
CREDIT: Ryazan / BIGSTOCK
We asked our readership on Facebook what the best way of letting someone down. Jonathan told us, ” Imagine that it is you who is being rejected. Speak to them as you would like to be spoken to”
Whereas, Robert kept it nice and simple saying “Not my type, sorry fella”.
Gaz revealed that he’d write, “Hi, thanks for dropping me a message. Great profile but don’t think we are a match. Gaz”
Billy suggest that typing, “Politely say sorry I’m not interested we are looking for different things” might be the politest way of letting someone down gently.
So, if you’re someone who has sex, it’s important to go get tested.
For some people, there’s a lot of anxiety about going to get tested at a sexual health clinic, but I’m here to let you know, sexual health services in the UK have come along in the last decade or some. So regardless of any the horror stories, you might have heard, here’s what actually happened the last time I went to get tested – which was last week.
If you’re worried that medical implements are going to be stuck down your dick or up your ass or concerned that a bevvy of doctors will be taking a prolonged look at your squishy bits – you need to read on.
I’ve recently moved to a new area and thought about checking up on the sexual health services area, after a quick look online, I found my local sexual health clinic and was able to book my appointment online.
When entering the building, I was able to log in via a screen in the reception. Once booked in, I waited, perhaps 5 minutes before my name was read out – and I followed my nurse, Lesley, into a private office – where she checked my details, asked me a few basic sexual questions – like when was the last time I had sex – oral, anal and any other sexual activities which I had concerns about.
She asks what brought me to get tested today and I tell her that I want to be tested for HIV as well as other sexual health screenings.
I also ask her about getting the HPV vaccine – which she says is not a problem – she also suggests getting the Hepatitis vaccination. Which I agreed to.
After that, we walk across the hallway to a treatment room – in which there was a urinal, a sink, a bed and a trolley of medical supplies.
She asked me whether I wanted an oral and anal swab. ‘In for a penny’, I think and agree to both. She hands me a cotton wool bud in a long-thin plastic container and another small plastic container.
She leaves the room and allows me to, in private, pee in the cup and take my own anal swab, it’s really simple and you insert the bud about an inch or two inside you.
I put the top back on the pee jar and the swab back into its plastic container.
Next, after a few minutes, she reenters the room and takes the oral / throat swab, which again is another cotton wool bud. She says “it might make you gag…” I think, “not likely”. It doesn’t.
She then takes a vial of blood, which is painless and takes seconds.
She then collects the pee, the swabs and disappears from the room.
Moments later reappears with the vaccinations, I’ve asked for. Hep A and B and the HPV.
I have two injections in my right arm and the other in my left. All in all, I’m in the room for less than 15 minutes.
There was no examination of my body, although I’m guessing if I went in with specific issues she would have taken a look.
There was no sticking anything down my pee hole and no fingers up my butt.
My swabs were all done by myself. Self-service!
A week later a ping on my phone lets me know all my tests are clear.
So please, don’t fret about going to a sexual health clinic. It really isn’t invasive and remember knowledge is power. Your health status isn’t something you should shy away from – and the best thing, in the UK, testing and my vaccinations were free thanks to the NHS.
