LGBT is an initialism that has been in use since the late 1980s. Simply standing for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender. But in recent years, extra letters have been added to the acronym, which in my opinion is suppressing the individuality of LGBT people.
Is the LGBT acronym starting to lose all meaning as more and more letters get tagged onto the end?
I may be a gay man but sometimes I feel I’ve been bracketed together with other people who, although also gay, may not actually share the same issues, values or goals.
I feel the acronym is now starting to lose all meaning as letters, which to me have absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with homosexuality or trans, are being tagged onto the end.
K, for example, the most recent letter to be added has really got my gander up. For those of you not in the know, it stands for kink. I really can’t see what kink has to do with the lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender community.
Please correct me if I’m wrong but the last time I checked, anybody could be a bit kinky or have a kink. Old people, heterosexuals, gays, anyone. So to add K to an already far too long acronym is pushing the boundaries.
Of course, I believe that anything to do with sexuality or gender identity should still be included in the LGBT umbrella. But others, like K, turn it into a completely different cause altogether. It’s about sexuality, not sexual fantasies.
I understand the origins of the LGBT acronym. It was to help a minority community feel less marginalised. And to help bring the community into wider society. As a community, we have come very far forward in our rights. I’m not saying the world is perfect for the LGBT community but it’s certainly ten times better than it was fifty years ago.
My fear is that we are detaching ourselves from the society that we have fought to become accepted in and a part of. This long-winded acronym, to an outsider, can seem pretty daunting and far too politically correct.
For a minority group who have fought for many, many years for inclusion, I fear we are endangering ourselves of exclusion from an accepting society by pigeonholing the gay community with this acronym.
Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.
Meet Jason Domino, gay porn star, charity founder and originator of the Porn4PrEP movement, a campaign to get gay and bisexual men educated on PrEP.
Charity founder Jason Domino has spoken at the United Nations, on primetime BBC News and featured in articles for the New Scientist, Huffington Post, and Dazed. His advocacy in the UK earned him a spot on the “IMPACT” PrEP trial’s advisory board. Jason lives as a public example for sexual health, a VERY public example…
“For a Sexual Health film, I had sex without a condom, with someone who has HIV. They were off medication and had a high Viral Load. I haven’t contracted HIV. I chose to do this to reinforce confidence that PrEP works even in “high risk” events. My scene partner was about to try his new medication and had a high Viral Load at the time. Rather than encouraging people to be irresponsible, our aim was to highlight rigid attitudes and to educate. We wanted to stop people being so reluctant to talk about HIV and missing out on important major updates in HIV information.
“That is the problem in a nutshell; people don’t talk about Sexual Health and yet, think they have the most up to date information about it. A few weeks ago I was taking in an UBER home from a night out, and I told my driver what undetectable meant. He then told me, in floods of tears, he had an aunt with HIV, he rejected years ago. He cast her out of the family in case they caught HIV from her, telling her to pray for healing. We pulled over, and I told him modern medication meant, people living with HIV could have long healthy lives, and once undetectable for six months, they could not pass on HIV. We went through the different ways it could be passed on and what preventions existed. I then sat there, as a grown man I barely knew called his estranged aunt for the first time in five years. There were many sad and happy tears.
“I’d love to say it felt great. It didn’t; it just hurt that people were ever stuck in that situation. It was just a reminder how much people are afraid to talk about things like HIV.
Finding condoms comfortable or not, is an immature attitude to an important conversation
“I work a cabaret a few nights a month. For weeks now I have been suggesting an idea for an act. A sexy act that features a zombie and his distant lover finding a renewed closeness after a fairy/nurse gives them some pills. It then turns into a shocking zombie flesh throwing couple strip. They end up seeing each other as equal partners. The last part is not the part the cabaret disliked; in fact, they loved the gory strip. The cabaret saw right through my plan to integrate a constructive message about sexual health, into a sexual space. I have rewritten it a dozen times, each time rejected. When did sex and sexual health become so distant? In real life, they are unavoidably married. In current culture, sex is only palatable isolated in its own fantasy. Only when permitted to speak transparently about sex we can bridge into sexual health, even if only as a casual detail. Sex is an inevitable part of our lives that is seen daily in advertising, and in cases like my own, in work too. Being squeamish talking about, e.g. finding condoms comfortable or not, is an immature attitude to an important conversation. It is much more common to see sex communicated subtly with images and inferring details, than discussing it directly. Subtly praising sex is socially acceptable, but our windows to talk and listen about sexual health are limited and unattractive. They are however two sides of the same coin.
“The fact that we can’t talk about sex transparently is people sticking to their comfort zones, often embarrassed to revealing their personal sex life.
“Many things are hard to do without practice, but most things that can save someone’s life get the man hours put in. Last year I was a victim of my own assumption. I thought I was completely up to date on my sexual health information, but I wasn’t. I am a man, and like the majority of sexually active adults, I had contracted HPV. Most adults don’t express symptoms, or only do when their immune system is running low. Many men don’t even think they can catch HPV. HPV is a collection of around 100 strains of a virus, some cause genital warts, and some lead to cancer. In the UK girls are vaccinated against the worse and most common strains of HPV on the NHS. Boys are not, but it does work for boys. As I lay on the operating table going under general anaesthetic for surgery, I wondered why no one offered me the vaccination. It existed, but no one was comfortable talking about it. A laser burned 360 degrees inside me, and I spent a number of months on tramadol feeling like I was giving birth every time I went to the loo.
“I am doing ok now; I look healthy down there. But I will always carry HPV, like many. But I’m aware now. I will need regular checks to detect cancerous changes, and I need my partners to either be unaffected or be vaccinated against it.
Abstinence and condoms is an embarrassingly basic prevention lesson.
“I talk about sex a lot. Some say too much, and that it isn’t a subject worth dwelling on. I am then unsure they understand why I talk about it, which challenges me to talk more. Attitudes towards sex are perverted. In other aspects of life, we praise learnt wisdom, but we hide sex behind a veil. Praising virginity as opposed to sexual wisdom. We don’t do this for other elements for good reason; celebrating a naïve state encourages vulnerability and reduces learning motivation. Why should sex be any different? Sex isn’t such a big deal that we can’t chat about it. It can be difficult at first, but by sharing information we can all be wiser. If you care for children you’d want them prepared rather than vulnerable. Abstinence and condoms is an embarrassingly basic prevention lesson. Awareness of treatment options is equally important, along with many other elements like on-going consent and communication.
“Context Dependent Memory is a psychology principle placing value on the situation a learner is in. There is up to a 50% decrease in recollection of the information with changing scenarios, environments and emotional state changes. An example of this is the Divers Study, divers were trained to know how to fix an oil rig. They dived to the repair site, and all divers forgot their training. They remembered it again once surfacing. Eventually, divers were trained in a submerged environment; they had better success. When it comes to teaching about sexual health, principles like this, are completely ignored. A Sex Ed class is often awkward, formal and largely danger-focussed. Sex in real life is about pleasure, excitement, feeling turned on, and sometimes anxiety. If we take the subject seriously, then students deserve a more effective way of educating them. It is the reason I started a unique charity. My charity makes porn, and soon Erotica, both contain seeds of sexual health information. A skilled director or writer can integrate these messages without throwing the piece off topic. Many people can’t even imagine the two being compatible.
“Porn isn’t like real sex, but it reaches people regardless who they may be. Viewing porn is also a closer context to real sex than the current format for sexual health classes. Biological terms like “penis” are less sex-associated than words like “cock”. Even the language we use makes sexual health distant from sex. The language to teach these classes may make us feel more professional, but it might literally be undermining the purpose of teaching it in the first place.
We don’t need to put sex on a mysterious plinth.
“I am a porn actor and a sexual health speaker. I was recently asked to speak at the UN in Geneva about sexual health. I do events like that while maintaining my status as a porn actor because we need sexual experience to become respectable and socially acceptable. We don’t need to put sex on a mysterious plinth. Sex is easily used to sell perfume and products, but what we need most, is people sharing their experiences and being examples for others to learn from. We need this, so the sexually naïve (yes even those who think they have it all covered) can make informed decisions about topics they’ve not been exposed to. We owe it to people to provide them with the most up-to-date information, so they don’t stumble into dangerous ignorance.
While my boyfriend takes almost every possible moment to whip his clothes off, I’m happy to keep it AbFab Saffy. He says I’m the only person he knows who dresses up to go to bed.
So the idea of a nudist beach outing isn’t a natural fit for me, my Irish Roman Catholic never-naked family upbringing means that nudity to me is best kept in the dark. But as I’ve always said, “don’t say no, till you give it go”. So on a trip to Australia, I relented to my nagging boyfriend, who had heard there was a gay nude beach somewhere on the shores of Sydney.
We were 9,445 miles away. No one I know would be there, and at 26 years-old I was in my prime.
Early one morning, we took a ferry to the Toronga Zoo and walked for what seemed like hours. With every step, my protestations got louder and more pronounced. “Did we really need to do this”, “There’s a perfectly nice, findable beach in Manly”, “What’s so special about getting naked anyway?”
Finally, we found it. Opening up in front of us was a naked haven. It was less of a beach and more of a cove of smooth rocks, facing towards the sea. A bit like a penguin exhibit at a zoo. Numerous, well-placed, seemingly naturally occurring outcroppings of smoothish rocks, perfect for spreading out a towel and basking beneath the Aussie sun. It looked perfect. It looked secluded. At each end, there was a high wall of rocks and thick bush add to the seclusion. Perfect.
My boyfriend’s little eyes lit up like it was Christmas, Easter, Valentines, New Year’s and Wirral Appreciation Day (he’s from Wirral) all in one. He started removing items of clothes as we picked our way across the rocks to find somewhere to settle.
I started casually glancing around, more to make sure I had a good footing on the rocks, rather than goggling the naked men on show. There were penises everywhere.
Some were casually flopping over the owner’s knees, some were neatly nestled in a well-groomed nest of pubic hair. All attached to perfectly bronzed and toned bodies.
We had found a spot to make camp, my boyfriend literally ran off towards the ocean.
I was left to undress and sink lower into my own self-loathing.
I could feel expectant eyes around me. I was, still dressed, very much so. So I began to peel off an item of clothing one item at a time. It was like a very slow, very bizarre Victorian striptease. First flip-flop, second flip-flop and so on until it was just my underwear and nakedness. I was eking out every moment of clothed protection.
Finally, with my undies still on, I rooted around in my rucksack for my book. It was chunky. In what can only be described as pure magic, I whipped off my undies and firmly placed the book in front of the crown jewels in one swift, deft move. I was naked save for the book. I looked around to see if there had been any signs of approval from the expectant eyes, but they had long bored of my antics and were distracting themselves in other ways.
I pretended to thumb through my book. My boyfriend called for me to come down to the ocean.
Could I?
Could I walk to the ocean… exposed? Between where I was sitting and the shore there must have been about ten meters of rocks.
Sod it. Do it. What’s the worst that could happen?
Beneath my book, I gave my little Mr a tug. It’s the tugging that all men give themselves when you need a little something more. You know, in the right circumstances, you add a couple of inches to a flaccid knob.
Finally, appeased by the length, I remove my book stand up. I blind everyone. My pale never nude body is so bright I’m sure it can be seen from space.
I feel eyes on me. “Turn it around Jake, turn it around”, I coo to myself. In my mind, Sade’s “Smooth Operator” is playing, as I slink towards the shoreline. Not wanting to rush, I make sure each step is sure and solid. My boyfriend is seven meters away from me. He’s waving at me, encouraging me to come to the water’s edge. He’s waist deep in the water and he’s been playing catch with some others that are in the sea. It looks fun. I want to join them.
I continue to walk towards the sea. Why did we settle so far back from the shore? I’m five metres away now.
Four meters… and then, I hear voices. These aren’t the subdued mumbles of the cove’s current inhabitants. No, I can hear children’s laughter and a general hubbub. I can hear a tannoy announcement. I can hear the churning of water from a propeller. From the left side of the cove, a tourist boat’s bow begins to appear.
I’m three meters from the water now. More and more of the boat begins to show. It’s big. Actually, it’s massive. And there are lots of people on it. All of them with cameras pointed in the direction of the beach. The boat seems so close I’m sure I can hear the individual shutters of a hundred cameras firing.
Forgetting Sade and my careful footing, I make a dash for the water. Gazzele like, I spring over the last few rocks and dive.
Into 3 inches of water.
My pasty ass isn’t even covered with water.
The tourist boat continues its slow-paced chugging, its slow speed is mocking me. The cameras are still clicking. Eventually, it disappears around the cove. My boyfriend is almost drowning with laughter. The expectant eyes, attached to waspy mouths are saying something… I think I can hear “oh look, a floating pomme”.
An Ohio man was arrested for a threat he made on a dating app to kill dozens at a gay club, reported WBNS, a CBS affiliate in Columbus. Me’Schach D. Israel-Miller sent the message on Grindr, threatening to “kill 85 f—-ts at a gay club.” (more…)
This week a reader asks whether he and his partner can use a ginger root as an insertable during sex.
“Hey guys,
My partner and I want to be adventurous, and try vegetable insertion, and have been told ginger is particularly good as it gives a burning sensation.”
Anon
Dear Anon
Oh dear god don’t. Have you ever put a ginger directly on to your tongue? It burns. Now multiply that by many times over and that’s what, I imagine, putting a ginger up yer bum will most likely feel like.
Like chillies, ginger has chemical compounds that cause a burn. In ginger, the chemical is called Gingerol which is very similar to capsaicin – the heat and taste creating chemical in a chilli.
Now if you’re looking for something that gives off heat that is warming whilst putting something up your ass – then there are loads of lubes that will give you that sensation. For instance, Durex’s Warming lube will effectively warm up your hole, without making it a ring of fire.
Plus, it’s condom compatible and safe to use internally.
If you’re looking for a bobbly insertable, there are many butt plugs or dildos on the market, like these anal beads from Carvaka that will give you interesting and unexpected feelings, down there.
As with anything that you might think about putting up your bum, a good rule of thumb is, if it burns on the tip of your tongue, it will feel even more intense elsewhere. Remember, the anus is much more difficult to wash out, at speed, than your mouth.
The advice listed above is not intended to replace or take the place of that of your own doctor, GP or medical professional who knows your full medical history. If in any doubt make an appointment with your doctor as soon as possible.
To get your sexual health and emotional questions answered click here.
Katie Hopkins has a lot to say about other people’s business…
One of those people was Tom Daley and he wasn’t having any of it.
The controversial, former columnist for The Sunand the Daily Mail, failed TV talk show host, non-winning Apprentice contestant, former radio presenter for LBC decided to speak up on Tom Daley and Dustin Lance Black’s baby news, by seemingly drawing a comparison between the surrogacy journey to next day delivery from Amazon Prime.
However, Tom wasn’t having any of it and clapped back, putting Katie back in her box reminder her that Amazon was a delivery service, not a surrogacy service.
is actually a 2 hour delivery service. Not next day. Sorry Hun. Love ya babez
Ali Muhammad Brown has admitted to the murder of four men, some of whom he believed were gay.
Ali Muhammad Brown has shocked a court in the US after he admitted to killing numerous men, some because he thought they were gay. At first, Brown admitted to killing a 19-year-old, Brendan Tevlin in New Jersey.
Brown then confessed to killing three other men, two of them because it was his belief that they were gay.
In July 2014 it was thought that Brown may have used a social app to meet with at least two men. The victims had been enjoying an evening at R Place, a popular gay nightclub on Capitol Hill, in Washington State. Initial autopsies suggest that the victims were ‘essentially executed’, Senior Deputy Prosecutor Wyman Yip said.
Brown is already serving a 35-year term for an armed robbery.
“Jihad”
If Brown is convicted he will given the death penalty. The prosecutor’s office said: “In his statement to the court today Brown admitted that the killings were a part of what he described as a ‘jihad.’”
Jamel Semper, who led the prosecution in New Jersey, said that Brown had “grievously harmed families and terrorised entire communities across the country.
“This defendant is no martyr.
“He’s just an admitted terrorist who will now spend the rest of his life in prison.”
Tumblr, a free blogging tool, has been blocked by authorities in Indonesia.
The platform, which is widely used by some in the LGBT+ community has been blocked in Indonesia. The government had demanded that Tumblr delete all pornographic content on the site within 48 hours or be blocked by officials.
It is the latest crackdown which will undoubtedly throttle free speech and LGBT+ equality in the country. The country enacted a strict anti-porn law in 2014 banning anything it considers obscene.
The site has around 400 million blogs hosted on it.
Ministry spokesman Noor Iza told AFP, “After investigating, we found at least 360 Tumblr accounts contained pornographic content”.
The ministry said it would allow access again when Tumblr capitulated to the Government’s demands.
During the 1960’s Carole King was part of one of the most successful songwriting partnerships of the era, writing hits for The Shirelles, The Drifters and Little Eva; leading to success with songs including “Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow”, “The Loco-Motion”, “(You Make Me Feel Like) a Natural Woman”, “You’ve Got A Friend” and “I Feel The Earth Move”. But behind the success was a personal struggle for King in trying to make her marriage with Gerry Goffin, her philandering husband and songwriting partner, work; and it is her rise to the top and her troubled home life which form the backbone of the story for this musical biopic.
Beautiful really stands apart from the usual jukebox musical/musical biopics, given the quality of the writing, presentation and performances. The narrative absorbs you straightaway; and there is an abundance of instantly likeable characters, a wonderfully sharp script filled with warmth, humour and personality and a lighting design which really does bring the stage to life, making it feel bright, bubbly and brimming with energy.
But the quality was not reserved only for the look of the piece, but extends to its rather talented cast members. Bronte Barbe was delightfully charismatic as Carole King, projecting a powerful voice without ever having to force a note; and exuding a natural and believable on-stage chemistry with Kane Oliver Parry as King’s husband, Gerry Goffin. Amy Ellen Richardson and Matthew Gonsalves bounced off each other nicely as the bickering Weil and Mann; and the entire cast, including the ensemble, all stepped up the plate in terms of their vocals, alongside some incredibly competent acting, giving rise to very believable performances across the board.
The first act, detailing King’s success within the music industry, brings with it a barrage of 17 musical numbers which are performed with flair and vigour; whilst the second act is slightly more downbeat and more drama focussed, as the decline of King’s marriage and her growth into a solo artist are depicted.
Although you may not have heard of Carole King, her music is embedded into popular culture, and with the number of songs that you immediately recognise adorning the stage, you realise just how much of an influential songwriter King really was. Ultimately, this is a story of love, hope and determination, and a production which rises above the usual jukebox musicals with a set of strong central performances, in particularly Bronte, and a polished, professional and quality feel.
They became overnight sensations when Louis Walsh gave them a chance to shine on ITV… but it’s all gone south since.
Following on from an epic fallout last year, when the pair (Bradley Hunt and Ottavio Columbo) went their own ways and released their own singles, it seems that the duo is willing to give their X Factor band, Bratavio, one more try.
When Bradley released his song, he insisted at the time, the dis song, wasn’t about his ex-bandmate despite the song containing the lyrics, “can you stop stabbing me in the back, with that fork” and feeding a picture of Ottavio into a shredder. The relationship between the two soured with Bradley calling it “the worst fall out to date”.
Happier times. Ottavio and Bradley strip off for an impromptu photoshoot.
A breakdown in communication.
The pair will appear on tomorrow’s Jeremy Kyle show and he’ll try and sort their issues once and for all. The pair, who have come to loggerheads are hoping that Jeremy Kyle will be able to sort out their issues and help the band reform.
Speaking to THEGAYUK.com Bradley Hunt, explained why they chose Jeremy Kyle to air their grievances,
“Well it was at a point of no return but as we are used to TV it seemed right to do it in front of cameras and a professional like Jeremy and the team!
“As we have a tricky unlikely friendship and have been through the most unique of events together!
“So an audience and Jeremy was the perfect setting to get our points across,
“This was the worst fall out to date and not petty this time. Maybe the viewers will see a different more mature side to us”.
A forensic search uncovered more human remains hidden in large planters used by a Toronto landscaper and alleged serial killer charged with murdering gay men, Canadian police announced Monday. Authorities appealed to the public for help in identifying one victim from a photograph seemingly taken post-mortem. (more…)
