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  • Why it might be hurting when you have sex

    Ever wondered why it hurts when you’re having sex?

    Partner not being patient

    There’s no rush and it’s not a race, so STFD (slow the F down). It can take time to the receptive partner ready – regardless what you see in porn, or that infamous spit and shove scene in Brokeback Mountain – you shouldn’t really just start ploughing – you could cause damage. The more effort you put in at the beginning will pay dividends for the long play.

    Piles

    You might have them not even know about it. Some piles are inside you – and you won’t even know that they are there until – pop! People who have piles complain that they are itchy and stinging. If you have that sensation it might be worth getting some medical advice – and lay off the anal sex for a few weeks.

    If you’re suffering from haemorrhoids you can buy Preparation H or Germaloids online and this should help ease them away and give yourself a few days rest from sex to help you heal.

    You have a sexual health issue

    STIs can play havoc with your private parts causing untold itches, stinging and throbbings. If you’re sexually active go get checked out at your nearest sexual health clinic.

    You’re not relaxed

    Again take it slow. The anus is not self-lubricating and needs a little attention before your partner can go full steam ahead. Make sure you spend a little time on foreplay. And make sure there’s lube – plenty of it.

    Not enough lube

    More more more…

    When it comes to anal sex, lube is always best and usually, just like bottles of booze at a party – the more the merrier. For a full run down on anal sex and lube read our article on why it matters.

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  • Which men are starring in Strictly Come Dancing on BBC1?

    Meet the men starring in Strictly Come Dancing 2017 – there’s an ex boybander, a comedian actors and even a man of the cloth…

    Ashton Merrygold

    Ashton Merrygold rose to fame during X Factor as part of the megaband JLS, one of the most successful losing (but winning bands in the history of the show). On joining Strictly he said,  “I’m so happy to be joining Strictly 2017, it is such a brilliant show and I’ve followed it for years. I’m both nervous and excited to learn from the professionals about a whole new way of dancing!”

    Brian Conley

    A household name in the field of industry. He is a comedian, actor and television presenter with a career spanning over 40 years. In 1992, Brian got his big break with the hugely successful The Brian Conley Show which went on to become Britain’s most-watched entertainment show at the time, coining his catchphrase: ‘It’s a puppet!’ Brian’s TV career has seen him win multiple awards including a National Television Award for Most Popular Television Performer. He has also performed/presented at the Royal Variety Performance eight times and recently hosted two series of BBC One’s The TV That Made Me. Brian has an extensive theatre career and has starred in many West End Productions; he’s recorded three albums and has acted in six films. He recently finished a sell-out tour of the UK and will star in his thirty-fifth pantomime this Christmas.

    Davood Ghadami

    Davood is a British actor, best known for his role as Kush Kazemi in EastEnders for which he won Best Newcomer at the TV Choice Awards. He was also nominated for Best Newcomer and Best Actor at the British Soap Awards. Davood has starred in the BBC One show since 2014 and set pulses racing when he joined as Albert Square’s latest ladies’ man. His first TV appearance was in 2005 on The Bill and his other TV work includes Doctor Who, The Omid Djalili Show, Taggart, Silent Witness, Life’s Too Short, Law & Order, Top Boy and Skins Redux. On stage, Davood has played Amir in 13 at the National Theatre, as well as working extensively for York Theatre Royal and Pilot Theatre.

    Joe McFadden

    Joe McFadden is a Scottish actor, born in Glasgow and best-known for playing the role of Raffaello ‘Raf’ di Lucca in BBC One’s medical drama, Holby City. He first came to national attention playing PC Joe Mason in Heartbeat and has also appeared in Take the High Road, The Crow Road and Sex, Chips & Rock ‘n’ Roll. In addition to his television roles, Joe also has a background in theatre appearing in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and Rent in London’s West End.

    Jonnie Peacock

    Jonnie Peacock is a double Paralympic, World and European T44 100m Champion. He sensationally won his first Paralympic Gold medal in London 2012 in front of 80,000 people and has gone onto to win every major event that he’s entered, including the 2016 Paralympic Games and the 2017 World Championships in London this summer. Jonnie, a below the knee amputee, contracted meningitis at the age of five, but has bounced back to become one of Britain’s best known and most successful Para Athletes, breaking the World Record in 2012, setting a Personal Best for the 100m of 10.64 seconds this year and being awarded an MBE in the 2013 New Year’s Honours for services to athletics. Away from the athletics track Jonnie wants to an inspiration to young people of all abilities and is passionate about building the profile of disability sport both in Britain and around the World.

    Reverend Richard Coles

    Reverend Richard Coles is a writer, broadcaster and Church of England priest and co-hosts BBC Radio 4’s Saturday Live. He is the only Vicar in Britain to have had a number one hit single with pop band The Communards in the 1980s, which went on to have three UK top ten hits and the biggest-selling single of 1986, Don’t Leave Me This Way. Richard recently co-hosted BBC One’s The Big Painting Challenge and is a regular contributor to ‘Pause for Thought’ on the Radio 2 Chris Evans Breakfast Show, BBC One’s Have I Got News For You and QI. Richard was an inspiration for the main character in the BBC hit comedy Rev and served as a consultant to the series. He is Vicar of St Mary’s Church in Finedon, Northamptonshire and Chancellor of the University of Northampton.

  • Christopher Maloney “died twice” after being bitten by a spider on Holiday

    X Factor star Christopher Maloney has revealed that he died, not once but twice after being bitten by a spider whilst on holiday.

    Christopher Maloney "died twice" after being bitten by a spider on Holiday

    The Celebrity Big Brother and X Factor star Christopher Maloney has revealed that he technically died twice and was left fighting for his life whilst on holiday in Turkey after a spider bit him.

    The star had been enjoying the sun on the beach in Bodrum, when a spider bit him on the top of his head, sending him into an anaphylactic shock. The shock caused the crooner’s heart to stop beating not once but twice.

    The singer, who was with his partner Gary Doran at the time was resuscitated by a holiday maker before being rushed to a nearby hospital where he was left fighting for his life.

    Happier times when Christopher Maloney appeared on Channel 5’s Celebrity Big Brother where he finished 5th.

    Speaking to the MailOnline the Liverpudlian said, “It was a very terrifying experience and thought I was actually going to die,

    “I felt sick and dizzy, and I felt like I was hit again at back of head. I fell to the floor and started to shake and my throat started to close over and I went into anaphylactic shock then I passed out.”

    The star, who first came to public fame during X Factor took part in Channel 5’s Celebrity Big Brother. He admitted that after the incident in Turkey that his fear of Spiders had increased, dramatically.

    The star’s life was saved by holiday maker, Mandy Fisher who gave him mouth to mouth and CPR before he was rushed to a hospital. The star has said that he would like to meet with her to personally thank her for her life-saving actions. The incident meant the star was unable to travel home for a further two weeks.

    The star who already suffers from arachnophobia admitted that after the incident in Turkey that his fear of Spiders had increased, dramatically.

  • 9 gay date ideas in London this weekend

    Looking for something to do this weekend – check out our quick guide…

    Keep it Kings Cross

    Free (before 10 PM) + drinks

    Fancy seeing some traditional drag head on over to Central Station in Kings Cross – a camp little haven awaits you as drag queen Lizzy Drip takes to the stage at 10:30 PM. There’s free entry before 10:00 PM and £5 after. The Kings Cross area once had a buzzing gay scene, with a number of nights or venues, and although the area is being redeveloped with expensive restaurants, hipster hangouts and extortionate housing costs, Central Station remains an uncomplicated, honest, fairly priced option. Hell, you can still get a glass of white for £3.70! Serves food. 37 Wharfdale Road, Kings Cross, London N1 9SD, 020 7278 3294

    Blooming great pre-drinks

    Free + drinks

    If you’re looking for something a little different to drag, then visit the underground, uber cool New Bloomsbury Set. Great prices and a 10-minute walk from Central Station – the perfect jump off before you head off clubbing…

    Go East

    Free + drinks

    For something a little edgier venture to Shoreditch – where the only label that matters is: “attitude free”. Take in the sights and sounds at Homodrop, the camp as f*ck disco at Dalston Superstore. And it’s free to get in. 117 Kingsland High St, E8 2PB. 

    Pick Up The Soap

    £££

    Of course, if you fancy something a little more sexy and soapy, try the Foam Party at Sweatbox in Soho. The party is never ending with a 24-hour pass costing £17 or a 48-hour pass costing £19. 1-2 Ramilies Street, Soho, W1F 7LN.

    Temping Tate

    Free

    Get lost in the epic Tate Modern gallery and marvel at the sheer scale of the Turbine room.

    Be a cultured gay and head off to the Tate Modern on the ever so romantic South Bank. Take the walk from Embankment Station – cross the footbridge – walk past the Royal Festival Hall and the National Theatre – and hold hands. No one will blink an eye lid. It’s all very chill.  There are plenty of exhibitions on at the Tate Modern including, Voices and Media Networks. You must, of course, whilst you’re there, go and see Andy Warhol’s Marilyn Diptych.

    The Thames

    Free

    Whilst you’re out and about around the Thames, artist Jason Bruges has created a light installation to shine on the Sea Containers building – a little further up from the Tate Modern. The design of the lighting reflects the water quality – according to the Thames water data. The display is a permanent fixture to help spread awareness about the quality of water in the Thames.

     A bite in Soho

    £££

    Some New York cool right in the centre of London. Grab a cocktail and relax.

    The gay epicentre of London is in Soho – this is where the highest number of LGBT+ spaces exist. However, for food, you should check out Dirty Bones on Denman Street – right next to the Piccadilly Theatre. Dirty Bones the restaurant categorises itself as New York comfort food and cocktails, well it’s that and more.

    Car Boot Sale

    £

    Will you be able to pick up a bargain at the Kings Cross car boot? From 10 AM on both Saturday and Sunday.

    I mean it’s definitely an unusual idea for a date… but if you’ve got a new BF this might be the perfect place to really discover what kind of guy he really is… They say you can tell a lot about a man by what he’s got in his basket – so to speak. There’s a car boot in Kings Cross, in Granary Square, from 10 AM and on Sunday from 10 AM. Just £5 to get in.

     

    Skinny Dipping?

    £2 (day ticket)

    Located in North London is the Hampstead Heath Ponds, three large freshwater swimming ponds that are popular for same sex and mixed couples alike. For centuries people have been coming to the ponds for a relaxing dip in the waters. Catch the last of the summer heat and take your partner to the ponds and have some wet fun. Let your playful side come out while enjoying an athletic dip. You must wear trunks in the water… but you know… once you’re in… who could possibly tell if you quickly slipped them off!

     

     

     

  • SmallVille star totally nekkid… leaves us breathtook…

    Smallville‘s Alan Ritchson’s butt is a thing of complete beauty…

    Known for his modelling career as well as his stints in Smallville as Aquaman and Thad Castle on Blue Mountain State Alan, has been wearing too many clothes for our liking – that is until these tasty gifs from his latest programme turned up!

    The star had been in Blood Drive,  but the show was cancelled after just one season. He’s now working on Titans an upcoming American television series that will air on an unnamed DC Comics digital service, based on the DC Comics…

    Excited!

    See the pictures here (NSFW)

  • 10 completely unreasonable expectations we have because of gay porn

    A lot goes into that 2-minute clip you watch on Twitter!

    Doesn’t it all just seem a bit too easy?

    Ramming it in

    Okay, whoah there cowboy – unlike in porn, you can’t just ram it in – unless you want a bitch slap that would make a Dynasty diva look like a Carebear. Tops – be kind to your bottom. Warm that lad up. Ways to get the fires burning include: fingering, rimming or what we call the Push N Pop are all good ways to get started… oh if you’re wondering a Push N Pop is where you put a little bit in and then taking it out again.

    Oh all of the groaning

    So much groaning – all the groaning… It’s like the less relaxing, hornier version of Whale song. Okay here’s the thing, some guys aren’t moaners and groaners. Some find it embarrassing – but you can do a bit of dirty talking. If you’re wondering what to say, check out some of our tips on what to say during sex.

    Going at it for hours and hours

    Some porn scene seems to go on for ages, which they actually do. Remember you’re seeing edited highlights. The actual scene probably lasted hours but these guys take a long time to warm up – and use a tonne of lube… which takes us on to the next point?

    Where’s the lube?

    So sometimes you see a top giving a quick dash of lube on the end of his Johnson – and maybe the bottom gives his ass a sniff of ID – but wait – you need waaaaay more than that. Get yourself a big old bottle of lube and keep it handy – next to the bed so you can keep on going.

    Tired tops

    It seems as those these tops can keep on going for hours. You definitely need to build up your stamina if you’re going to be a top that can fulfil a Power Bottom‘s needs.

    Abtastics

    How is it that almost every guy in porn is white, hairless, slim and or muscled? It’s such a narrow view of the world. In life such conformity doesn’t exist – we are all shapes and sizes, colours and some are actually hairy AF – which is cool.

    Gymnastics

    How is he… where is his… Wait when… what is that? If you need to brush up on some sex positions that punch above the rest we suggest you take a look at how to turn normal sex position into iconic sex positions.

    No mess

    Rarely do you see mess (and by that we mean poop) in porn – and probably, that’s a good thing. Actually, that’s a really good thing, unless of course scat is your thing. The body has a habit of doing things – and making sounds at the most inopportune times. Such is life. You can laugh it off – or go grab a shower if things get a little too messy.

    Window shenanigans…

    There’s a lot of porn going on in windows – which is fine if you’re on the 38th floor looking down 5th Avenue – not so good when your outlook is poor old Mrs Greeves from number 46 – doing her knitting. Won’t somebody think of her cats.

    Everyone’s so big…

    It seems as though you can’t work in porn unless your penis is big enough to give you a mild fainting feeling every time you get an erection due to substantial blood loss. What is with that – what about the normal size… you know this one…

  • In front of my salad woman gets a sequel

    We die we die…

    In front of my salad woman gets a sequel
    You’ve guessed it… She’s only gone and walked in as two hunks play hide the sausage… and in front of her salad too! How dare they.

    The salad lady Nikki Romaine took the internet by storm when millions of people engaged with the “in front of my salad” storyline. For those not in the know, she somehow was unaware that two guys were shagging right in front of her as she was eating salad…” She was inducted into the meme hall of fame instantly for the epic, nah, almost legendary line that followed when she figured out that they weren’t just grilling cheese.

    Now those folks at the gay porn studio, Men.com have given the “in front of my salad’ girl a sequel… Watch below as she literally loses her salad.

    Please note the below embed is NSFW.

    Nikki Romaine carefully prepares a delicious, healthly salad – totally unaware of the fate that is just around the corner.

    Please note the lavish salad items – this woman goes to town – we see chickpeas – tomatoes, cucumber, pepper, greens- so many glorious greens… Oh yeah – and there’s, of course, two hunky guys going at it in a “massage room”.

    The bit we love is at the end when she screams … not again.

    Someone has to give the salad lady, her own show.

     

  • THE UNDATEABLE GAY opens his Grindr in India…

    Last time on The Undateable Gay:

    In case anyone has forgotten, I was just about to be scalped by this Hijra woman who thought we were taking the piss. And as if by a prayer being answered, the traffic light turned green and off we zoomed. I breathed a sigh of relief and we finally arrived at our hotel.

    HOTEL HELLHOLE. I sincerely recommend that any visitors to Delhi avoid this establishment at all costs. To call it basic is doing the Sainsbury’s cheap range an injustice. It makes Sainsbury’s Basics look like the M&S Best of British range.

    As we stepped out of the taxi, (yes our luggage was still strapped to the roof, thank god), we were greeted by a couple of prostitutes. What a desirable neighbourhood. Tullene started panicking and I thought I was going to have to give her a slap.

    We were escorted to our room and as I stepped inside, I wanted to step back outside. The curtains were yellow, and the bedding… Well, I can’t even do justice to the bedding by using any English language.

    Desperate for a wee, I strolled into the bathroom and was greeted by a bucket.

    “We’ve got to get out of here!” I screamed.

    Little did I know that Tullene was already outside the door, luggage in hand with the same thought. We checked out of Aura and put ourselves in a tuk tuk.

    “Get us to the nearest IBIS!” We demanded.

    I think a tuk tuk journey is the perfect cure for constipation.

    Should you have that problem.

    If you ever venture to India, there is no other way to travel than a tuk tuk. But I advise you to cling on for dear life. And to say your prayers because they certainly know how to dodge in and out of traffic. In fact, I think a tuk tuk journey is the perfect cure for constipation, should you have that problem.

    After every journey in India, whether it be by car, tuk tuk or even walking, I looked up to the sky and thanked the Lord that I’d survived.

    Finally, in an IBIS, we felt safe. And we had WIFI. I was desperate to get on Grindr. I must confess, I thought they wouldn’t have this app in India because of the fact being gay is illegal.

    But I was blown away, (pardon the pun). In the space of being logged in for five minutes, I had twenty messages. I’m telling you now, my iPhone nearly crashed. My Grindr was pinging off the hook.

    I was being sent picture after picture of the local talent… topless talent and talented cock. I was dripping faster than a Mr.Whippy in Madrid. In my element, I was. I was like Harry Potter in a wand shop.

    I got excited. But then it suddenly hit me like a wet kipper.

    It’s illegal in this country and I bottled it.

    And then one really caught my eye. A very attractive guy, who was staying at our hotel. Not far to go then. I got excited. But then it suddenly hit me like a wet kipper. It’s illegal in this country and I bottled it. I can’t be locked up in an Indian jail, being made to pick up the soap. I’d be the prison bitch.

    Mmm, what a fantasy. Maybe I should get myself arrested.

    And then I came down to earth with a bump. The guy who I’d blown out (not literally) had sent me a message in Punjabi. Does he realise I’m English and not bilingual? Thank god for google translate. My eyes widened as Google told me that he’d called me a gay bitch. What a bitch!

    I switched Grindr off for the night. It was starting to get on my moobs. Tullene was already heavily snoring so I rolled over to go to sleep and I heard rustling coming from the suitcase.

    “Tullene! Wake up. There’s a cobra in the suitcase!”

    To be continued…

     

    Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you’d like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.

  • Nadine Coyle has released a new single (and we’re living for it)

    Girls Aloud may be but a distant memory (weep) but Nadine Coyle has released this banger…

    &nbspNadine Coyle has released a new single (and we're living for it);

    Go To Work is a true banger. We’re living for it!

    Now Nadine returns with ‘Go To Work’, a sleek, dance-lead future classic that sounds simultaneously retro and forward-thinking. Recorded and produced by experimental pop alchemist Brian Higgins (Xenomania), the track is a high-energy, deliciously vampy ode to making your man work for your affections and features powerhouse vocals that are instantly recognisable as Nadine.

    Nadine says of the track, “When you’re constantly writing you write a lot about relationships and so it was like ‘what else annoys you about being in relationships?’ and they came up with this idea of writing about them being lazy and not getting up in the mornings.”

    Under the watchful eye of Brian Higgins, Girls Aloud racked up an incredible twenty-one UK Top Ten singles, twenty of those consecutively. If each member of the band – who sashayed their way through a ten-year, five album career – had a role, then Nadine’s was The Voice. Often demoing the songs with Brian ahead of the other girls during the band’s tenure, it’s always been any discerning pop fan’s dream for the pair to collaborate again on Coyle’s solo material.

    After a false start with Coyle’s Xenomania-free 2010 solo debut, Insatiable, that dream is now a reality, This isn’t Girls Aloud 2.0, or even Nadine Coyle 2.0, this, finally, is Nadine Coyle: The Solo Artist. Going into the sessions with a completely open mind, Brian and Nadine slotted back into their respective comfort zones, Nadine belting out majestic pop songs while Brian and his coterie of production geeks weaved various lyrics and melodies together to make chart gold.

    As Nadine says, “We weren’t trying to make it sound like Girls Aloud, we weren’t trying to make it sound the opposite, it was just a blank canvas. It’s exciting.”

    ‘Go To Work’ is released today, Friday 8th September on Virgin EMI.

     

  • The world’s greatest gay anthems

    There are so many many songs that count as “gay anthems”; those songs which held us all up in our darkest hours…

    Here is your chance to vote on 40 of the gayest anthems – empowering, political, camp and classic… Vote for as many as you wish – don’t forget there’s two pages – 40 songs in total. Don’t forget to flip the page!

  • 5 ways not to be a total douche on Grindr

    It’s so easy isn’t it… being totally basic on a dating app – we’ll here are five tips on how not to come across a complete pratt on Grindr.

    5 ways not to be a total douche on Grindr

    Do… Use your best pic

    Dig deep into your Facebook tagged photos and find a nice when in the sun with a cocktail and a decent backdrop. If you’re stuck for choice, perhaps do what every other Grindr user does and take a selfie in the mirror of your local gym changing room. That way, at least everyone knows you keep fit.

    Don’t…immediately send a dick pic.

    Striking up a conversation via a picture of your penis is like Victoria Beckham singing – sin against nature. Sending a blurry photo of your willy is not going to make anyone think “Let’s go Prezzo”. If you, for whatever reason, have an urgent need to send one, do it after at least a day of conversation and, as with your profile picture, make sure it is the best it could be. I’m talking about the right angle and the right filter – no one wants a photo with dodgy lighting.

    Do…be grammatically correct.

    “Hello, how are you?” sounds far better than “hey, u alrite?” so make sure to use your best grammar when trying to secure a date or even a bit of fun. No one is going to be enticed to have sex with you when you chat like a 14-year-old on MSN.

    Don’t…slate gays in your bio.

    “I like my men to be men”; “straight acting guys only; “if I can’t see your eyebrows then I don’t want to see you”. When devising your bio, try not to come across as a wanker. Some gay men decide to be their own enemy and it doesn’t exactly scream, “date me”.

    Do…wear a condom.

    Let’s be honest – most gay dating apps amount to anonymous sex with someone you’ve never met before and don’t really know much about except for the size of their penis so, let’s be clear, condoms are absolutely essential.

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