Tag: Grindr

All the latest breaking news on Grindr. Browse The THEGAYUK’s complete collection of features and commentary on Grindr and the LGBT+ community.

  • Gay Dating | What does MMF mean on a dating app?

    Gay Dating | What does MMF mean on a dating app?

    If you ever see the acronym “MMF” on a guy’s profile, it means that the guy you’re talking to is into three ways with two males and a female, hence M+M+F!

    Simply put the two Ms stand for Male while the F stands for female. This means that he’s into the idea of having a bisexual threesome.

    What does MMF mean

    It’d be up to you to chat about specifics and how that might play out. It’s not very common to find MMF on a hookup app like Grindr or Scuff whose main audience is made up of gay men and same-sex attracted people, but you may find a bisexual man or indeed his girlfriend who is entirely up for being in a three-way with another guy.

    Remember if you’re meeting up with strangers over a dating or hook up app to take precautions for your safety. Read our article about staying safe here.

    Check out more gay dating terms.

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  • Gay Dating | What does CBT mean on a dating app?

    Gay Dating | What does CBT mean on a dating app?

    If you ever see the acronym “CBT” on a guy’s profile, it’s all about the cock and balls… and the torturing of them

    CBT stands for Cock and Ball torture if you see it on a dating or hook up app like Grindr. Otherwise, it probably stands for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy.

    Some guys are into having their junk tortured and there’s a whole host of toys out there to help you out if that is your thing. They could include chastity devices, which makes it impossible to touch your D – like a cock cage or even ejaculate, with a sperm stopper.

    Some guys are into electro play or even being locked up in a humbler.

    CBT play can range from light tickling with a feather to kicking or punching the area. It can go as far as hardcore CBT action where a dom could end up nailing or screwing scrotums to wooden boards.

    If you are going to explore this, it’s wise to have a safe word and if there’s likely to be blood drawn from play, to use gloves and antiseptic wipes.

    There are serious safety issues to be concerned about and there is a lot of risk to the penis and testicles if play goes too far. Serious injuries include rupture (where you could burst or tear a testicle), torsion (where the spermatic cord gets twisted and cuts off blood supply) and avulsion (where a testicle is ripped off) which will all need medical attention immediately.

    Check out more gay dating terms.

  • Gay Dating | What does HnH mean on a dating app?

    Gay Dating | What does HnH mean on a dating app?

    If you ever see the acronym “HnH” on a guy’s profile, it’s all about having sex and being “high”, simply put, fucking while on drugs.

    HnH stands for Horny and High – generally speaking, drugs play a part in this guy’s sexual activity. Sometimes also referred to as chemsex. You may also see PnP instead.

    Drugs that might be used could be

    Crystal methamphetamine,  (Meth, Tina, Ice, Glass, Crank)

    GHB/GBL,  (G, Gina, Liquid Ecstasy)

    Mephedrone (M, Meph, Meow Meow, M-Cat)

    MDMA (Molly, Mandy, Ecstasy)

    Cocaine (Coke, Charlie, Crack, C)

    Ketamine. (K, Ket)

    Make sure you keep safe during if you’re going to take part in a HnH session. Some drugs can make people take risks with their sexual health which they normally wouldn’t take, due to lowered inhibitions and feelings of intimacy and sexual drive when on certain drugs.

    A fantastic resource and read into the world of chemsex is the book by James Wharton, Something For The Weekend, available from all good book stores and Waterstones online.

    If you need help with addiction or are worried about drugs in your life, you can find resources at the Drugwise website.

    Check out more gay dating terms.

  • This Grindr hack will save you a LOT of time

    This Grindr hack will save you a LOT of time

    Your average Grindr convo goes something like

    Hey

    Hey

    Horny

    Yes…

    Into?

    That that “into” can turn into a bit of a ballache if you have a list of things that you’re into or interested in trying out, which is why Davey Wavey‘s suggestion during one of his podcasts on Himeros Live blew our minds.

    Sure you could just send the standard “wank, suck, fuck” reply, but wouldn’t it be cool to let the guy you’re chatting to know exactly what you’re looking for?

    “The List”

    “I send the list” he joked, Davey revealed that he a prewritten list of all his turn-ons and what he’s looking for which when you think of it, is brilliant.

    It’s really simple and easy to do, plus it’s a great conversation starter.

    Simply open up your phone’s notes app and list those kinks and quirks. You can be as specific as you want or leave a couple of things out, for later conversations.

    If you’re an XTRA member on Grindr, you can actually save your list to your “saved phrases”.

    Just leave a minute before you send, you don’t want it to seem like you’ve got that shiz pre-written.

    Getting what you want

    Firstly you’re saving a lot of time, not having to type it out over and over and secondly, you’re putting it all out there, increasing your chances of a) getting exactly what you want b) finding someone who’s into the same things as you.

    As it is, you shouldn’t really spring fetishes or sexual kinks on a hookup when you’re actually in person, unless it’s part of a wider conversation. Ideally, you need to lay all of that out before you set off so that the person you’re going to hook up with is informed.

    https://open.spotify.com/episode/3Zx9CupzaeG3axEvLFIXDu?si=zCW2pkdDQSy8g1FsgsXEvA

    Interested in subscribing to Himeros.TV, click here

  • Gay Dating | What does PnP mean on a dating app?

    If you ever see the acronym “PNP” on a guy’s profile, it’s to with having sex and “partying”, simply put, fucking while on drugs.

    PnP stands for party and play – generally speaking drugs play a part in this guy’s sexual activity. Sometimes also referred to as chemsex.

    Drugs that might be used could be

    Crystal methamphetamine,  (Meth, Tina, Ice, Glass, Crank)

    GHB/GBL,  (G, Gina, Liquid Ecstasy)

    Mephedrone (M, Meph, Meow Meow, M-Cat)

    MDMA (Molly, Mandy, Ecstasy)

    Cocaine (Coke, Charlie, Crack, C)

    Ketamine. (K, Ket)

    Make sure you keep safe during PnP often drugs can make people take risks with their sexual health, due to lowered inhibitions and feelings of intimacy and sexual drive when on certain drugs.

    A fantastic resource and read into the world of chemsex is the book by James Wharton, Something For The Weekend, available from all good book stores and Waterstones online.

    If you need help with addiction or are worried about drugs in your life, you can find resources at the Drugwise website.

    Check out more gay dating terms.

  • This Grindr guy felt the wrath after he criticised someone’s open relationship

    This Grindr guy felt the wrath after he criticised someone’s open relationship

    So, it’s no secret that many gay guys in relationships are also in open relationships or semi-open relationships and many of them use dating apps, such as Grindr to introduce a third/fourth/fifth into their love lives.

    CLICK TO READ THE REST OF THE ARTICLE

    Pages: 1 2

  • Gay Dating | What does BS mean on a dating app?

    Gay Dating | What does BS mean on a dating app?

    If you ever see the acronym “BS” on a guy’s profile, it’s probably contained in a sentence like: “Not into BS” or “No BS” and basically it just means “No Bullshit”

    You’d think that being on a hookup or dating app would be simple right? I mean we’ve all downloaded the app for one of a few reasons, right? Surely we’re all on there to search for a date, sex or maybe just friends (Yeah, sure Jan)

    Surely the need for BS – however it manifests just wouldn’t need to be a thing, but it is.

    From Ghosting to Catfishing to picture collectors there are all manner of shitty and bullshit behaviours on dating apps – although it seems that some apps are a breeding ground for shitty behaviour.

    So why not just cut to the chase, cancel the bullshit and say what you want…

    Check out more gay dating terms.

  • Gay Dating | What does BND stand for?

    Gay Dating | What does BND stand for?

    Decoding BND

    Have you ever seen the acronym BND and wondered what it meant, well simply put it means, Boy Next Door. Although the term is not widely used on Grindr, it can be found on Scruff as a way of describing who you are or what you’re looking for.

    What is a Boy Next Door?

    Often the Boy Next Door is categories as the “every boy” meaning that he’s probably cute or average looking, average build, average height. Maybe he coy or shy or an introvert and keeps himself to himself. Think unassuming nice lad, who would lend you a cup of sugar or an egg or two if he had them and you’ve got yourself a BND.

    It’s a catch-all vanilla-ery term and actually isn’t particularly useful – cause Hanibal and Dexter were guys who lived next door to somebody!

    Check out more gay dating terms.

  • Is it safe to meet someone off Grindr yet?

    Is it safe to meet someone off Grindr yet?

    It’s been well over 100 days since the UK went into lockdown at the end of March and its citizens were heavily restricted in order to “flatten the curve” of the Coronavirus.

    But as these restrictions are slowly lifted and certain elements of lockdown have been eased or removed, we ask, what does the government say about meeting with people for sex – especially when it comes to Grindr or dating hookups?

    Of course, the government doesn’t specifically mention hook up apps or whether you can meet with someone for specifically for the purposes of sex, however, it has outlined its guidelines when it comes to inviting people from other households into your own.

    Can I invite someone over from Grindr, Jack’d, Hornet or Scuff?

    There’s no overriding rule for the UK, each of the four nations, England, Northern Ireland, Scotland and Wales all have their own regulations and rules when it’s come to their coronavirus response.

    In England, you can have someone from a different household enter your home. The government advises against socialising in groups of more than two households. This means you could have a hook up with someone, the question is, should you? That is up to you in the end.

    The government does recommend physical distancing and good hygiene practices. You may not stay overnight at someone’s house unless they are part of your “bubble”.

    In Scotland, you can meet up with 2 other households at a time in your own home. However, the Scottish government is warning people to maintain a physical distance of 2 metres “at all times”.

    In Wales, two or more households can become an “extended household” which allows them to “have physical contact and stay in each other’s homes.” The Welsh government says that all other households have to meet outdoors.

    In Northern Ireland, since the 23rd June meetings of up to six people have been permitted. However, the government in Northern Ireland suggest limiting the duration of the visits, ensuring good ventilation, maintaining good hand hygiene and physical distancing where possible. Overnight stays are not permitted.

    [totalpoll id=”120564″]

    Remember, Covid-19 is still prevalent in the UK and it highly transmittable.

    Back in March our Agony Uncle, said that if people were going to continue to hook up that it would be a good opportunity to talk to partners about their health and their safety.

    He wrote, “I think coronavirus could be a good engine for change or adaptation for our community. It might invite us to start talking more openly about our sexual health, testing and well-being in general and there’s no harm in having a conversation with someone about their health before you hook up.

    “The more we talk about these things, hopefully, the less stigma there is attached to our health”.

    You should swap contact details with people you hook up with to help with track and trace.
    Photo by Negative Space on Pexels.com

    It’d also be wise to make sure you have the contact details of any of that you do have sex with, in order to help with any tracking or tracing, in case you or they become infected with Covid-19.

    What about sexual health services are they open?

    face mask on blue background
    Photo by Anna Shvets on Pexels.com

    Not exactly, unfortunately, many of the UK’s sexual health services are not open to bookings for regular sexual health checkups – but to a phone triage service.

    Back in May, Doctor Naomi Sutton took to Twitter to remind followers that the NHS sexual services were still available and that anyone who needed them should phone their usual sexual health clinic and access the current phone consulting services being offered.

    She told us, “Sexual health services are operating phone consultations, posting contraception, screening tests and medication when needed and seeing patients face to face where necessary”

  • Gay guys open up about some of the social issues that our community is facing

    Gay guys open up about some of the social issues that our community is facing

    As a community, we’ve faced some immense challenges. Some, across our world, are still facing untold tragedies and discrimination. Sometimes, however, the worst issues can come from within.

    So when Reddit user dprince1988 asked “What gay social problems do you see which aren’t talked about enough”, the AskGayMen community did some soul searching and came up with a list.

    Here are some of the issues it raised.

    Suicide Rate

    The LGBT+ community has one the highest suicide rates of any minority demographic.

    The Trevor Project details how suicide is one of the biggest killers of young people, and that Lesbian, Gay and Bi youth are three times more likely to contemplate suicide over their heterosexual counterparts.

    One commentator added, “I should submit a picture of my arm. So many cuts that I can’t even differentiate between normal and scar tissue. When meeting new people I have to wear long sleeves or else they freak out”.

    Sober spaces

    The lack of sober social spaces was also raised. However, there are services such as meetup.com which are helping to facilitate social situations that don’t centre around drinking.

    Loneliness and isolation

    At the moment, thanks to COVID-19 many people are facing isolation, but for many in the LGBT+ community, loneliness is a real issue outside of lockdown.

    Rural Isolation

    Outside of large cities and towns can be a real issue for LGBT+ people. Sometimes hook up apps and chat rooms are a vital lifeline for LGBT+ people who don’t have a local scene.

    Domestic Violence

    In a recent article for THEGAYUK.com legal expert, PAULA RHONE-ADRIEN shared, “…sadly, in such a small minority of just 1.1 million, at least 1 in 4 victims of domestic abuse are lesbian and nearly 1 in 2 victims are gay. The figure rises to nearly 80% if you identify as transexual”.

    Bottom shaming

    On bottom shaming one user-added, “Bottom shaming is internalized homophobia and societal view of women (the feminine) being less-than.”

    Lack of LGBT sex education

    As schools don’t tend to offer gay sex education there is a lot of misunderstanding surrounding STIs, the purpose of PrEP and consent.

    Ageism

    One user added, “Gay men are notorious for being disgusted and belittling older guys… even older guys do it to each-other… there’s an old cliche called the “gay death” which means once you turn 30 you’re ugly, old, and undesirable.”

    Ableism

    One user added, “Pretty tragic given how much more likely queer populations are to suffer psychological or physical ailments.”

    Drugs and Chemsex

    PNP and HnH orgies are becoming more and more commonplace and normalised on dating apps.

    Racism

    User HereForHope wrote, “This 100%. Racial dynamics are never talked about introspectively. Be that homophobia in communities of color to the fact that it’s apparently totally fine to have racist shit like “no blacks no rice” in your dating profile”

    Erasing the T

    User Atlask wrote, “I don’t know if it fits what you are looking for but that whole lgb movement who focuses mostly on erasing the trans…”

    Aesthetics

    Not conforming to a few very specific aesthetics” Another used also noted that eating disorders were rife in the community, saying, “

    I know so many gay men with eating disorders. They either are or have been out-and-our anorexic/bulimic, exercise bulimic, or take hard drugs to stop themselves from eating.

    “Others are on steroids to build up muscle.

    “And they’re all still unhappy, even the ones that have great bodies”.

    Friendships without sex

    Gay friends without sexual interest

    Bi-erasure

    Bi Erasure is a form of erasure directed towards the bisexual community It can take many forms including when society sidelines bisexual stories for gay or lesbian stories.

    Bi Erasure is also the ignoring or rewriting of LGBT+ history where bisexual people of note are effectively erased from the LGBT+ movement.

    Hookup culture

    Which could lead to invalidating other communities such as asexuals.

    Political Persuasions

    What happens when you’re not a democrat? One user suggested, “Gays assumed to be liberals/democrats. I know a lot of conservative/ republican gays and they always get the “but you’re gay!” attitude and called Uncle Toms. Really I think this is the biggest prejudice against gays now in the US. Gays are capable of free thought, not mindless hive mentality”

    Use the comments below to let us know your thoughts.

  • DILEMMA | I found my husband’s Grindr profile. Is he gay?

    DILEMMA | I found my husband’s Grindr profile. Is he gay?

    Dear Uncle

    I found my husband’s Grindr profile. I’m just not sure what to do. My husband and I have been together for ten years – we’re both in our mid-30s now. Last week, while he was in the bath – I was looking through his phone for our holiday snaps. He takes such good photography – but I noticed the Grindr app on it.

    I’ve seen Grindr in action before, because some guys at work have showed me the app. I couldn’t help myself and I opened it up – now I wish I hadn’t. He’s been sending pictures of his dick and ass to lots of fellas – and has been getting them back. I haven’t confronted him yet as I’m just not sure what to do.

    Is he gay?

    If he’s bi – I’m not sure I could stay with him – as I don’t want to end up having to share him with other guys. Breaking up at this point just isn’t doable as far as I can see.

    We’ve recently moved into a new house, the mortgage is massive, I couldn’t pay it by myself and I need to live around here because of my work. Any advice would be most appreciated.

    Mandy

    Ⓒ THEGAYUK

    Dear Mandy

    I bet you’re feeling pretty worried and concerned at the moment – and maybe angry too, but I just want you to take a moment and breathe. Before you do anything just take a breather and keep calm.

    At the moment everything is probably tumbling around your head and you’re in danger of jumping to one assumption to another, totally understandable, but here’s the thing, assumptions are the mother of all f**k ups.

    So that you move out of assumption land into hard fact land, you will need to talk to him.

    Before having the talk you should write down everything you want to say and to ask, but you also need to be open to hearing his answers.

    Find the right time to talk

    Find a time which is going to be good for a good long talk between you both. Not at bedtime, not first thing in the morning before you both go out to work. A weekend might even be the best idea.

    There may well be a totally reasonable answer as to why he’s been sharing pics and getting pics sent back to him. Some straight guys love gay men’s attention. Doesn’t mean that they’re gay or bisexual or that they want to move into any type of same-sex relationship.

    What happens if it all ends?

    That said, there’s also the chance that the conversation could lead to an extinction-level event for your relationship. I know that isn’t what anybody wants, but let’s put that on the table too. THEGAYUK recently spoke to some lawyers about next steps, if your husband comes out and you both decide to end the marriage.

    I will say this though, if he does turn out to be bisexual – this doesn’t necessarily mean that he wants to have sex with other men – or for that matter other women. It’s a cliché that many in the bi community are really keen to eradicate. Just because they are in an opposite-sex relationship doesn’t mean that they want to jump into bed with someone of the same-sex. It also doesn’t mean that they’re more likely to cheat on their partner than somebody who is gay or straight.

    Ultimately, your decisions will be formed by the information that you get when you communicate with him. Don’t be rash and whatever you decide sleep on it before making any firm decisions about what to do next.

    Have you got a dilemma you want to share? Click here to ask your question