Tag: Sex

All the latest breaking news on Sex. Browse THEGAYUK’s complete collection of news, articles and commentary on Sex.

What if you’re straight, but feel a desire for gay sex?

Is Sex different from Sexuality?

(C) BIGSTOCK

When one straight identifying guy on Reddit said that the thought of having sex with another man gave him “butterflies in his stomach” but didn’t he was “gay enough” to do it, people were there to guide him.

Society problems?

So what’s really holding guys back from experimenting with someone of the same sex? This poster wrote that he had an image of him as a “straight guy loving girls” but his feelings go the opposite way – despite not having a specific crush on a guy.

He wrote,

“…I got an image of myself as a straight guy loving girls and my feelings go in the opposite direction. I love masculinity and want to be a submissive guy. I hate being dominant while/and having sex with girls. But I never thought of going in bed with a specific guy, I never had a crush on a guy. This is “not gay enough”.

So is he in love with the idea of being straight, but his heart is telling he’s gay, bi or curious? He wrote that he once tried a blowjob but felt deeply ashamed afterwards.

Society’s push?

This user suggested that society had its role in defining our sexuality and what is right and wrong, saying,

“That’s just society that has shoved that idea in your head.
“I felt guilty AF after I gave my first blowjob to the point where I ran away from my boyfriend (at the time)’s apartment and cried and threw up a bunch.

“You can get over that and become comfortable with yourself. I sure did, and it didn’t take too long.”

(C) BIGSTOCK

Get stuck in

Another poster was a little more upfront with his suggestion

“suck some dick and see what happens”

What’s “Gay Enough” mean?

Another suggested,

“If you’re a man and you want to have sex with another man, that makes you gay enough. You could be anyone from the most macho muscleman to the most femmy twink, and it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you want to have sex with another man. That’s all it takes to be “gay enough”.

“What’s wrong with you is that you’re holding yourself back from doing something you want to do. What you should do is have sex with another man.

Another chipped in

I’d recommend you just start experimenting. Take it slow, though, and make it clear that you’re new at this.

Bisexual? Pansexual?

This user pointed out that the OP might not be homosexual, but rather someone who is sexually attracted to all sexes and genders,

“Your [sic] probably bi or pan and have inner-homophobia from religion, family, culture, whatever. Go out, or on an app, be honest on those apps and guys, have some condoms and lube handy and have sex with men. Good luck, have fun.

30th August 2018
Is it safe to use a carrot in the bedroom?

It might seem like a wise move – after all carrots are phallically shaped and are cheap as chips but they might not actually be the best thing to use as a sex toy.

The problem is that they don’t have a flared end, like dildos and butt plugs, which means if you lose your grip you’re going to have to poop it out – wide end first. Which might be your thing, but probably won’t feel great.

What’s more, if you end up having trouble passing it, you could end up in casualty, which let’s face it is not the best way to spend a Sunday morning.

Sex and Fruit

Using fruit and veg could be a great way to excite and reignite your sex life though. Using soft fleshy, non-acidic fruit such as honeydew melons or watermelons can be an exciting way to get new sensations. Simply put a hole in it and thrusting in and out will provide interesting brand new feelings.

Alternatively, you can always use other foodstuffs such as chocolate spreads or even Marmite, who recently brought out body paint.

Caution must be used when inserting anything into your butt that doesn’t have a handle or gives good grip. People have ended up in A&E after failing to retrieve a cucumber, banana or carrot that’s gotten lodged in their rectums. Anything that gets stuck up your butt will be a painful experience that can actually lead to death if left untreated. We would urge anyone who has gotten anything stuck up there to seek medical advice immediately, no matter how embarrassed you feel.

Oh did I say use lots of lube…

Alternatives?

If you’re looking to insert a food, why not try a lollipop or ice cubes, which will melt.

It’s best to use toys that are actually designed for insertion, such as dildos and vibrators. Don’t forget if you’re using toys together and share them, to use a fresh condom before using it on your partner, and wash them properly after use.

If you are going to insert a carrot, gherkin, cucumber or banana, make sure you’re relaxed. Some of these veg can be much larger than a penis, so using lots of lube and taking your time is a must.

9th August 2018
Here’s the average age gay guys lose their virginity

So how old were you?

A recent survey revealed the average of losing virginity in the gay community. Most gay guys said that they blossomed at just under 18-years-old (17.9 years) which is older than most bisexual people, who apparently lose theirs at 16.2 years old. Straight people tended to lose theirs at 17.6 years old.

The survey questioned 1000 people, 500 Americans and 500 Europeans. They asked the respondents to “consider their sexual journeys as existing on a scale from 1 (not yet started) to 100 (entirely completed) and to recall specific catalysts and educational resources along the way.”

Gay people tended to have their sexual awakening before other demographics but the last to act on them, with bisexual and straight people having sex first.

We did wonder whether this was anal sex or oral – because well, generally what sex means in the gay world can vastly differ to what heterosexual people class as sex.

Also, there is a lot less education about gay sex than there is about peen in vagina sex, you know, what with it not being a topic of discussion in sex education in schools.

However, interestingly, the gays tend to have their sexual awakening occur first – at the tender age of 13.8 years-old whereas straight people become sexually aware at 15-years-old. Bisexual people at 15.4 years old.

So how old were you?

11th February 2018
12 guys have real threeway game, we’re impressed
The game was definitely on.

We asked some of our readers about their three-way experience, needless to say, us gay guys are having a fair bit of threesome activity!

Diary time

“Every other weekend mostly good occasionally embarrassing” – Tristan

“Have had many 3somes always have a good hot time Have at least once a month” – Phil

The biting… oh the biting

“…It was with two friends after a night out and I suggested that we had a threesome, however, me and my other friend wasn’t attracted to the other guy yet he wanted to do most of the work. Terrible at giving BJs as he kept biting me and my other friend so in the end we never finished because the thrill sort of speak went…

“At least I found out that I don’t like to be spit roasted. Plus it was in a caravan outside my parent’s house. So everyone could hear.”- Marcus

The couple and the unicorn

“It was actually quite fun! My last one was two men who were a couple. Their agreement was that they would never have an open relationship but will have sex with other people when both of them were present at that party. I was tempted to try double penetration but at the end didn’t dare!!!!” – Raha

Poly relationship…

“Good. It was fun, we all had a laugh, all very open-minded. Cuddled till we fell asleep. Then spent a few months in a poly relationship.” – Ian

On one hand

“Was horrible, one bloke nice & the other not my type, I was feeling jealous of the nice one all the time, never want that again.” – Michael

Why stop at 3?

“Yes and every number up to twenty.” – Roger

Oh, the politics of it all…

“Quite a few and I find its better if all 3 are single rather than a couple plus 1 extra” – Simon

“Yes in the past but in a lot of cases 1 person loses out. Not that’s everyone’s experience.” – Norrin

A&E?

“We ended up in A&E. The position we were in led to an accident, one broken arm, stitches in head and a badly bruised hip. The staff tried not to laugh at us, but they found it funny.” – Simon

Me party

“Frequently. Me, myself and I.” – Andy
- Some comments may have been changed for grammatical or clarity reasons.
13th December 2017
There’s a new position and we’re interested… very interested

It’s called the “68”…

So we were reading Cosmo, as you do, and we found out about a new sex position and well we were naturally interested. It’s called the “68”.

It’s similar to its slightly older brother the very famous “69”, but instead of giving both of you pleasure, it focuses more on just one of you. Brilliant!

So what do you need to do?

Well, apparently the “bottom” lies on their back with their legs slightly open with their knees bent and feet flat on the floor or bed. The “top” lies on top of the “bottom” facing up with their head on the “bottom’s” thighs. It’s like a natural resting place.

Your junk should be right in your partner’s face.

Now, this could be great as a rimming position or oral sex position… Although be careful as your penis might not bend fully that way… and you don’t want to break it.

Don’t forget if you’re the top to take some of the weight off your partner’s chest, by using your elbows to take some of the strain.

Discuss this in on our very own social network, it’s free and simple to join.

28th October 2017
5 things you need to try if you’re going to have a one night stand

When it comes to the traditional one night stand, or having sex with strangers, none of the honesty or rules of chivalry apply! In fact, you probably stand a better chance of pulling, if you employ full use of your carefree attitude. So guys, when you’re getting ready to go out tonight, make sure the last thing you put on, is your shagger swagger!

The beauty of having sex with a stranger is that it can be completely anonymous, and string free. The best part of a relationship, with the added bonus, that it only lasts one night! For those of you that have never slept with a stranger, are you starting to see the appeal yet?

NOM DU PLUME

My advice is to completely invent yourself a pseudonym, build up a whole alter ego, do whatever you like, be whoever you like and do it with whoever you want to do it with! You have to make sure though, that when you’re building up your night-time image, that you have to remember your story! Stick to the lies, you’ll thank me in the morning – never let your secret slip!

TRY SOMETHING COMPLETELY NEW

Experiment, it’s always fun to try new things! If one nighters aren’t your thing, then honey, pick up your Bible and tighten up your chastity belt, 2017 isn’t the year for you! If you’re thinking of trying it out, then do it – don’t think too much, you might change your mind! If you’re a more seasoned bed hopper though, why not embrace your adventurous side – my motto – if it’s comfortable and slow – you just aren’t doing it right!

KEEP THE DEETS SECRET

In my experience, it’s for the best that you Never Swap Numbers, once you do, you run the risk of (a) if you rocked his world, gaining a stalker (b) having to admit you lied and (c) making awkward conversation because you’re too nice to tell him to leave you alone! If you don’t feel comfortable saying no to giving him your number, and can’t make one up off the top of your head – take his, tell him your phone is dead and discard on the way home!

DON’T BE A COMPLETE DRUNK

When sleeping with strangers, it’s a good idea to make sure you watch your level of Intoxication, you don’t want to be so drunk you end up waking up face down in a ditch, with your trousers around your ankles, and all of your possessions gone with the stars! I am going to say though you don’t want to be sober either; you just won’t enjoy yourself if you are! Get yourself to that merry state, and voilà, you’re in for a night filled with filth.

WRAP IT UP

And, as ever, we at THEGAYUK always promote Safer Sex, you can never be too careful! We know that in the heat of the moment, taking the time to roll down your condom is possibly the last thing on your list, but you have to be responsible!

I hope you enjoy your night, have fun, go wild but most importantly, think P.E.N.I.S. – Pseudonym, Experiment, Never Swap Numbers, Intoxication and Safer Sex.

As I always say, don’t be a fool – wrap that tool! If you need any advice, or for more information on sexual health visit: http://www.gmfa.org.uk/sex/ better to be safe, than sorry!

24th June 2017
There’s a sex position that you’ve probably not heard about and we’re interested… very interested

It’s called the “68”…

So we were reading Cosmo, as you do, and we found out about a new sex position and well we were naturally interested. It’s called the “68”.

It’s similar to its slightly older brother the very famous “69”, but instead of giving both of you pleasure it focuses more on just one of you. Brilliant!

So what do you need to do?

Well, apparently the “bottom” lies on their back with their legs slightly open with their knees bent and feet flat on the floor or bed. The “top” lies on top of the “bottom” facing up with their head on the “bottom’s” thighs. It’s like a natural resting place.

Your junk should be right in your partner’s face.

Now, this could be great as a rimming position or oral sex position… Although be careful as your penis might not bend fully that way… and you don’t want to break it.

Don’t forget if you’re the top to take some of the weight off your partner’s chest, by using your elbows to take some of the strain.

24th June 2017
If you’re finding it hard to bottom for your boyfriend try these 7 tricks

So if you’re new to bottoming or you’re just looking some tips on to how to make it easier, here are some tips

F**k First.

We’re not going to take credit for this, Dan Savage talks about doing the deed before you go out on a romantic date! Yep, get the good stuff first. If you’re planning a night out with your man – sex first. That way, on your date, you can eat to your heart’s content – and not worry about stomach or gut-related issues later on.

You on top.

This position is normally called the Cowboy. The best way to control how far your partner goes in is with you on top. With you, on top, you can also control the speed of the thrusts – or limit them altogether. You can be in complete control of the movement because your partner’s range of movement will be limited.

Your hand in the way.

So if you’re tired of the cowboy position you can try all manner of other positions, but try this trick. If your partner is just too long for you, you can put your hand in the way. So imagine putting his penis through your fist and then into you. That eliminates around 3 inches of his actual length. The “top” partner shouldn’t really feel any less pleasure- especially if you lube up the inside of your palm.

As you get more accustomed you can change the fist into a V shape made from your index and middle finger in front of your butthole.

Spooning position.

Another range limiting position is the spooning position, where you lie on your side and your partner comes in from behind also lying on his side. To limit the range of thrust close your legs – as you get used to the feeling of him inside you, you can start to open your legs more.

It’s all in the Prep.

Spending some time by yourself – prepping can actually help loosen you up. If you’re comfortable douching that will definitely get your butt more relaxed. You can try with a showerhead, however, you must be careful of water pressure and the heat of the water – or with an actual douche.

Douches are relatively inexpensive and are an effective way of making sure you’re all flushed out. Our online store stocks a great range of douches, including shower douches, which offer a much deeper and extensive clean out.

Prep can also come in the guise of using a little dildo or vibrator that you can have some fun with before the main event. You could even have two one small and one larger for when you get a little more relaxed.

Pre-lube yourself.

After prepping yourself, why not pre-lube yourself. Don’t just wait before you’re actually in the moment, you could try using a thicker lube like the FistIt range of lubes. Using your finger take a blob of the lube and put it right inside you.

Or you could even use a lube launcher or shooter. Insert the tube and squirt away! However, make sure if you’re using a lube which isn’t water-based that it might not be suitable to use with latex condoms – always check the packaging for instructions.

If you’re going to use condoms don’t use oil-based lube, instead you silicone or water-based lubes. You can find a range of lubes from our official store.

Tell Him STFD

In the end, it’s your body and your butt. If you’re not happy TELL HIM. Or as we like to say… Slow The F*** DOWN. There’s no need to rush and you should take your time. Be sensitive to your body and let go at your pace.

11th June 2017
7 fruits for a stronger penis

If you’re looking for natural ways to give yourself a powerful boner you may not need to look further than your kitchen’s fruit bowl.

Fruit is cheap. Cheaper than meds and far healthier for your body. Getting your five or ten portions of fruit and veg is tough, but knowing that some of these natural beauts are actually penis builders we’re suddenly interested!

Watermelon

Watermelon is packed with Vitamin C – and Vitamin C can improve your sperm count but it’s also packed with phytonutrients lycopene, beta-carotene, and, the big one, citrulline. Citrulline is particularly good at getting your blood vessels to relax, so could be fantastic for erectile dysfunction.

Strawberries

Strawberries are an excellent source of vitamin B, which has been linked to high sperm counts in men. Go one step further and coat them in chocolate, as it is full of libido-boosting methylxanthines! (Why do you think it’s such a popular Valentine’s Day gift?!)

Figs

These small fruits pack some big benefits. They are bursting with calcium, iron, potassium, and more of that stimulating zinc. They are also packed with fibre, which boosts heart health and satisfies hunger without adding to your waistline. Check out our Figgy Lavender Pudding recipe.

Pineapple

Pineapple contains the enzyme Bromelain, which can improve libido in men, plus if you eat plenty of this tropical fruit it will also make your climax taste better too! Find out what else can make your man mayo taste better.

Pomegranate

A study from the University of California found that one glass of Pomegranate juice every day could help manage erectile dysfunction. Nearly 50 per cent of those tested reported improvements with their erections.

Banana

Bananas are packed with potassium, great for heart and circulation + a great way to manage and control your blood pressure naturally.

Blueberries

THEGAYUK’s food editor Jordan Lohan calls blueberries nature’s very own little blue bill. He says, “literally little blue “pills”! Lowering cholesterol improving blood flow & circulation, leading to harder erections”. Check out Jordan’s ultimate Romance Rescue Remedy recipe.

3rd March 2017
ERECTION PROBLEMS | 10 things that destroy your erection
The mind may be willing but the equipment is taking some vacay,

At some point, most guys will suffer from erection problems (it even has a term erectile disfunction) and guys search the web high and low for advice on how to fix it but sometimes the penis just doesn’t want to play ball.

Well, there could be some lifestyle factors that are stopping you from getting a hard-on. Getting hard is all about blood flow, so if your erection problem is a physiological issue it could be something to do with your blood pressure. Time to see the doctor! However, there are loads of psychological issues that could affect your libido too. Read on to find out what things are a real erection killer.
Drinking

You could be getting drinkers droop. Although alcohol can seemingly put you in the mood for some loving. Excessive drinking will affect your ability to get an erection and could stop you from finishing up too. So if you want a bigger boner then you’re going to have put down that pint.

Medication

Some prescribed meds like anti-depressants are known to cause impotence. Blood pressure pills and some allergy medications have also been linked to erectile problems. ED. If you suspect that you’ve been prescribed meds that are affecting your boner then get back in touch with your doc. Ask to try some different drugs. Illicit drugs will also affect your ability to have sex.

Tired

Sometimes you’re just too dog tired to perform. Get some ZZZs and try again in the morning when you’re more refreshed. However, there are a number of sleep disorders that could be affecting the quality of the sleep you’re getting. Issues such as sleep apnea or insomnia are problems that will drastically affect the quality of your rest. See your GP if you’re concerned. If you don’t have a GP, use the NHS website to find one.

Work Stress

Getting turned on whether you’ve got a hundred things on your mind is a near impossibility. Your inability to get hard might be because of your work stress, financial woes or even family issues. Working out, yoga, mindfulness and breathing exercises are brilliant ways to reduce your stress load. When your mental problems are being dealt with, so you are your erection problems. It’s all linked.

Getting fat

CREDIT: ©-tish1-Depositphotos

Yep, an expanding waistline is really unhelpful to your manhood. Obese guys have lower levels of testosterone which plays havoc with your sexual prowess. Being overweight is also linked to blood pressure issues and arteries hardening, which can lead to a reduction in the blood flow to your penis. Also, have you heard of the FUPA (Fat Upper Pubic Area)? Wondering if your penis is getting smaller with age… this might be the reason.

Make sure you keep within your healthy BMI for a body that’s in perfect working order.

Smoking

We all know it’s bad for you… it’s also bad for your penis and can cause havoc giving you erection problems. It damages the blood vessels which inhibits the blood flow. Worryingly smoking can also shrink your dick too. So quit today.

Getting enough Vitamin D?

If you’re not getting enough sunshine your body won’t be creating Vitamin D which can cause your testosterone levels to plummet and testosterone is very important in maintaining a healthy boner and ridding your life of erection problems. Without a healthy level of testosterone, you’re effectively killing off your love mood. Getting just 15 minutes of sunlight on your skin is all you need to keep your Vit D levels up.

Are your teeth clean?

Men were three times more likely to have ED if they had gum disease a Turkish study found. The British Dental Health Foundation found that 4 out of five guys who had “severe ED” also had gum disease. This is caused by the bacteria from your diseased gums seeping into your bloodstream which damages your blood vessels.

Stop your mid-day fumbles?

Are you getting off during the day? Maybe you need to get a check on that and save yourself for the big event later on. When we’re younger climaxing more than once a day (or five) was achievable, as you get older you might finder it harder to keep it… So save yourself.

Don’t do it last thing at night…

One of the biggest causes of erection problems is timing. Why wait until you’re about as tired as you’re going to get? F**K first – then dinner, then TV then bed. Get the good stuff while you still have the energy!
25th February 2017
3 problems you’re not weird for worrying about

When it comes to your health, there might be certain things that you want to keep close to your chest for fear of being judged if you were to speak up.

BROUGHT TO YOU BY:

But, let’s be honest – it’s likely that what you’re going through has happened to someone else. So, instead of putting your wellbeing on the back burner, it might be time to face up to your health woes. In this article, we take a look at three problems that you’re not weird for worrying about and what you can do to solve them once and for all.

1. Erectile dysfunction

CREDIT: Yastremska-bigstock

Erectile dysfunction (ED) is when a man is unable to get or maintain an erection. This condition can be extremely embarrassing, and it can have a huge impact on your sex life and relationship with your partner. However, while your ED might leave you feeling down, you should realise that you’re not alone. ED is a very common problem. In fact, it’s estimated that 50 per cent of guys between the ages of 40 and 70 will have it at some point. That being said, ED should never be ignored. The condition could be a sign of a much more serious health complaint, such as heart disease, so it’s crucial that you get yourself checked out if your ED lasts for more than a couple of weeks. Treating the underlying cause of your ED could help relieve your symptoms, as well as improving your overall health and wellbeing.

There are also a number of targeted treatments you could try. For example, Viagra is a commonly used prescription medicine that can help men gain and maintain an erection that is sufficient for sex. It works by increasing the flow of blood to the penis, which produces an erection. For more information about Viagra, you could visit trusted online sources such as Online Doctor LloydsPharmacy, or you could speak to your doctor.

2. Premature ejaculation

CREDIT: bigstock-twinsterphoto

Premature ejaculation (PE) refers to a man ejaculating too soon during sex and many guys will have experienced this to some degree. If it happens now and again, PE isn’t usually a major cause for concern, and it’s also important to remember there are no set rules when it comes to how long you should last during sex. However, if you find that your PE is becoming a regular occurrence and it’s starting to affect your enjoyment between the sheets, you might start to worry that there’s something wrong.

It’s not always clear why PE occurs, but it’s thought that there are a number of factors that could lie at the root of the problem. For example, it could be linked to a physical health issue, such as prostate or thyroid problems, or it could be linked to depression, stress and anxiety.

The good news is, there are a variety of things you can try to help solve the problem. If a physical problem underlies your PE, it’s crucial to seek advice from a doctor, or if you feel the condition is psychological, you could undergo therapy from a trained specialist. There are a number of treatments you could try too, such as specially designed anaesthetic creams that numb your penis and prescription tablets that can delay the ejaculation impulses in the brain.

3. Hair loss

CREDIT: ©-nd3000-Depositphotos

For many guys, hair loss is a natural part of the ageing process. For instance, male-pattern baldness is the most common type of hair loss and it affects nearly half of all men by the time they are 50 years old. While some men don’t mind losing their locks, it can be an extremely difficult and upsetting time for others. If you’re worried about your thinning tresses, don’t panic – you don’t necessarily have to put up with this change if you don’t want to.   For example, if you’re experiencing male-pattern baldness, there are treatments you could try to halt or even reserve your hair loss. Finasteride, for example, is a prescription medicine taken in tablet form that works to stop the hormone testosterone being converted into dihydrotestosterone – the hormone that causes the hair follicles to shrink. Blocking its production means that the follicles have the chance to grow back to their normal size. For more information about finasteride or the other types of hair loss treatments that are available, you should speak to your GP.

This article was brought to you by Lloyds Pharmacy. (What does this mean?)

23rd February 2017