Your profile picture is the first thing that other members will see of you, so take some time to get it right. We’ve put together some tips on what works and what doesn’t work for the perfect profile picture.
It goes without saying that your profile picture should be of you. We’re not fond of catfishing, fraud or just pictures of cartoon characters. You’re a real person, so a real picture of you is best.
Remember what they say first impressions can last a lifetime so make sure, when you’re choosing yours, that it reflects exactly how you want to portray yourself.
So here are our top tips:
Recent photos
Make sure your profile picture is recent. We’ve all heard the stories of people turning up to dates only to discover that the person they meet is a good ten years older than their profile photo. It’s a bit like trades description. People want to know who they are meeting – a trustworthy and honest person will have an up-to-date, recent picture of themselves. It’ll also help identify you if you guys actually meet in real life.
Just you and only you
Don’t crowd the picture with other people. We can assume that you have friends. You don’t need to show us – after all, we’re interested in meeting just you, to begin with… not your friends. If you want to add pictures with family, friends, pets etc add them to your private galleries.
A “total bottom” explained that his world didn’t end when his hook up pulled a simple trick move.
In a world of labels, how absolute are the labels top and bottom? Well, one “total bottom” on Reddit revealed that he actually had a great time when the roles were unexpectedly reversed when his hook up switched things up.
User HardTomHardy, who considers himselfan exclusive bottom, who said that he’s submissive and a bit “kinky”, described a “good shock” when his hook up shook up the bedroom antics after returning from the bathroom for a second round.
HardTomHardy wrote that the second time around, his hook up tied his hands together and blindfolded him and was getting down to some oral business when “the next thing I feel is the tightest grip ever-expanding down the length of my shaft. It took me a second to realize that I was in him and I loved it. He took the blindfold and f*cked himself on my dick like a pro.”
“Honestly, it blew my mind”
(C) BIGSTOCK
He went on to explain, “I didn’t have to do anything except when the orgasm him I bucked into him uncontrollably. Honestly, it blew my mind. I never thought I would get to feel this, that my dick would bring me and someone else to orgasm.”
He was quick to add, “And before people say he violated me, nope don’t even go there. If I had said to stop he would. And no his ass is not self-lubricated. He prepped himself in the bathroom and used a small buttplug“.
Users responded, on the whole, positively to the story, with one adding, “It’s largely psychological, IMO. A healthy, functioning dick will respond to the right stimulation, as long as you don’t let your mind get in the way”, while another wrote, “I’ve always felt that guys who pigeonhole themselves into only one position or the other just haven’t been with the right partner. Versatility is the spice of life”.
Another encouraged, “Maybe from here on out your [sic] Vers. Sounds like you loved being inside him so why stop?”
Now don’t get me wrong, I know a lot of folks are innocently curious. But when you’re trying to plan your big day, which to you just feels like any other big day out there, the often repetitive questions from enquiring minds can become just a trifle irritating.
And by the way, I haven’t made any of these up – I was asked all of them at least once in the run up to my wedding.
And by the way again, I know number 9 isn’t a question, but it felt worthy of inclusion.
Yes, yes – I think I saw him at the club meetings, he told me all about it. Now don’t get me wrong, I do love the idea of a bucking-bronco in the shape of a glittery aubergine, but it’s not quite the direction we’re going to go in.
No, that’s true – just the knowledge that there’s still a large chunk of the world who would happily see me executed for being who I am is worry enough. Thank you for giving me some perspective.
And then afterwards to finish off:
Did you know that was the first gay wedding I’ve ever been to? It was much more fun than a normal wedding!
Yes, I agree. It really knocked spots off of that boring one I went to last year, with all the shabby-chic birdcages, hilari-not speeches and tawdry wedding tat … oh wait, that was yours wasn’t it?
Ever wondered whether it was safe to use a banana in the bedroom?
It might seem like a no brainer – after all banana are a bit penisy – and are cheap as, well bananas but they might not actually be the best thing to use as a sex toy.
There are two main issues. One they are very squishy once out of their skins – I wouldn’t recommend using a banana with its skin still on, because the ends are quite rough and could cause internal damage.
Secondly, bananas don’t have a flared end, like dildos and butt plugs, which means if you lose your grip you’re going to have to poop it out, or maybe even mush it out. Which might be your thing, but probably won’t feel great.
What’s more, if you end up having trouble passing it, you could end up in casualty, which let’s face it is not the best way to spend a Sunday morning.
Using fruit and veg could be a great way to excite and reignite your sex life though. Using soft fleshy, non-acidic fruit such as honeydew melons or watermelons can be an exciting way to get new sensations. Simply put a hole in it and thrusting in and out will provide interesting brand new feelings.
Alternatively, you can always use other foodstuffs such as chocolate spreads or even Marmite, who recently brought out body paint.
Caution must be used when inserting anything into your butt that doesn’t have a handle or gives a good grip. People have ended up in A&E after failing to retrieve a cucumber, banana or carrot that’s gotten lodged in their rectums. Anything that gets stuck up your butt will be a painful experience that can actually lead to death if left untreated. We would urge anyone who has gotten anything stuck up there to seek medical advice immediately, no matter how embarrassed you feel.
If you’re looking to insert something of a edible variety, why not try a lollipop or ice cubes, which will melt.
It’s best to use toys that are actually designed for insertion, such as dildos and vibrators. Don’t forget if you’re using toys together and share them, to use a fresh condom before using it on your partner, and wash them properly after use.
If you are going to insert a carrot, gherkin, cucumber or banana, make sure you’re relaxed. Some of these veg can be much larger than a penis, so using lots of lube and taking your time is a must.
There are about 12 LGBT+ bars and clubs in Birmingham with the majority of them located in the gay village area of the city, which is in the south-east region of the city. Many of them are dotted around the famous Essex Street – Birmingham’s answer to Manchester’s Canal Street or London’s Old Compton Road.
One of the major critcisms that bars revcieved in Birmingham was overzealous security and bouncer staff. It might worth noting that many bars do not directly hire bouncers but employ outside security contractors.
So here are the best and worse gay bars in Birmingham ranked worst to best by Google Map users.
Eden 4.6 stars out of 72 reviews
(C) GOOGLE MAPS
Eden is located on Sherlock Street and has been voted the best bar by Google reviewers, however, it only has 72 reviews, unlike the Fox which has a whopping 224 reviews. However punters like this bar for its friendly staff and the happy hour. However, some say that the beer is a little bit pricey when Happy Hour ends. One reviewer wrote it was their favourite bar in Birmingham because “ a sense of community here and the owners talk to their customers and care” Another added, “My time in Eden was certainly eye-opening… As soon as I entered the door I felt welcomed, the service was incredible and oh so friendly”.
The Fox 4.5 stars out of 224 reviews
(C) GOOGLE MAPS
The Fox is one of the most reviewed “LGBT Friendly” bars in Birmingham with a whopping 224 reviews and it is only just pipped by 0.1 by Eden Bar. The Fox is located on Lower Essex Street in the heart of the gay village. One customer called The Fox the best place in town for a night out, while another loved the “cheap beer and friendly people”. One reviewer added “The Fox is a fantastic little bar. The staff are always friendly and professional. The music is great and there is a good atmosphere at weekends” another showed appreciation for the signage saying “The best gay bar in town. So much love for the “No TERFs on our turf” sign. Truly, my spiritual home“.
Equator 4.3 stars out of 60 reviews
(C) GOOGLE MAPS
Located on Hurst Street the Equator is another one of Birmingham’s high ranking gay bars and it serves food – apparently “the best breakfast”. One reviewer suggested “A good bar to start your evening out, in the gay village. A very good atmosphere to meet friends to talk in a pleasant atmosphere. Another added, “Great cosy little bar … friendly staff and customers just a shame it often closes on a Sat night between 11- 11:30.“
The Village Inn 4.0 stars out of 245 reviews
(C) GOOGLE MAPS
The Village Inn seems to be the most popular of all the gay bars in Birmingham with the most Google reviews. It has 245 of them – 21 more than The Fox. Reviewers like the music, but some thought the bar staff were a bit rude and there have been complaints about the security staff. A one-star reviewer revealed, “Horrible, security I was pushed at the entrance and not let in with no reason…” However, others think that the place is great and it serves “first-rate” food.
Boltz 4.0 stars out of 48 reviews
If you’re looking for something a little more on the Fetish side then make sure Boltz is on your “to do” list. Customers love the staff and the prices of the drinks. One reviewer added “Not everybody’s cup of tea but sometimes you need a strong coffee.”
The Core Club 4.0 stars out of 5 reviews
Another more fetishy place is The Core. It has the fewest reviews of any of the gay bars in Birmingham but does manage to achieve a 4-star status.
The Fountain Inn 3.8 stars out of 27 reviews
C) Google Maps
If you’re looking for something a little more traditional look for The Fountain Inn on the edge of the gay village. It has only 27 reviews but manages 3.8 stars. It’s fairly informal and what you see is what you get. Reviewers loved the food.
Sidewalk 3.7 stars out of 102 reviews
The Sidewalk is a trendy loft-style haunt in the centre of the gay village in Birmingham and does 2 for 1 cocktails during the earlier hours. Reviews are generally favourable but does manage to reach 4 stars. One reviewer wrote, “From the minute you walk off the pavement, I was greeted with friendliness and a warm welcome, from door staff, professional and friendly, to bar staff, polite, smiling and engaging. Had a lovely gin and tonic, comfy seat in the leather armchairs, that gives the place a gentlemen’s club feel – gentile. Great ambience”. Another added, “Like the Village, this is perhaps one of the only venues on Hurst Street that I would recommend. It is far classier than The Missing Bar in my humble opinion and you do not have to be on guard 100% of your visit. It is clean, staff are and always have been approachable and friendly, you have a generous selection of cocktails and beverages at the tip of your fingers, and the food is far from shabby too.”
One reviewer did mention that the service could be quite slow writing “So initially this bar seemed quiet and cosy. We stood at the bar for around 5 minutes trying to get served baring in mind there was only a couple of people at the bar but the barman was too busy chatting away.“
Missing Bar 3.7 stars out of 63 reviews
Missing Bar is a popular bar in Birmingham and it manages a fairly respectable 3.7 stars. However one of the latest reviewers complained that the place felt “dreary” and felt that the drinks were expensive. Reviewers also noted that it had a “great buzz”.
Nightingale Club 3.6 stars out of 117 reviews
Another very busy place in Birmingham is the Nightingale Club which received over 117 reviews and it manages a fairly respectable 3.6 stars, however, reviewers complained about security being heavy-handed and “vile”. Reviewers have noted that there is a great atmosphere, with one writing “Great atmosphere, and a fabulous mix of music and entertainment in the different rooms. My only criticism is they need more staff on the bar”
Glamorous Birmingham 3.2 stars out of 58 reviews
Glamorous Birmingham is a club experience in Birmingham with an average rating of 3.2 stars. Some reviewers found the place to be friendly, with lovely bar staff, others had complaints about the security and sticky floors.
Bar Jester 2.7 stars out of 38 reviews
Bar Jester is a little way out of the gay village area of Birmingham and is a little venue, however, it doesn’t do so well in the eyes of Google reviewers. Again reviewers highlight issues with security staff – with one calling them “unprofessional”.
We used to say it with flowers — but now the true sign of modern love is a change in Facebook status from ‘single’ to ‘in a relationship’, according to research.
CREDIT: Oneinchpunch-bigstock
A survey asking 2,000 adults about the modern signs of true love found a massive 64 per cent said updating on social media makes a new relationship ‘official’. Having your partner’s photo as your desktop background, using their name for your online passwords and saving their favourite shows to your Netflix account were also named as modern signs of true love.
Amazingly, over a third of adults confessed they would say ‘I love you’ for the first time in a text, instant message or video chat.
The research also found being in constant contact is indicative of a modern relationship – with the average couple texting or instant messaging each other seven times throughout the day. Texting habits were often mentioned amid the list of true love, with 13 per cent who said they’d rather send a soppy text than buy a spontaneous gift for their partner. Sending a text in the morning and night is the done thing if living separately, said a quarter of adults – as well as sending one more when arriving somewhere safely.
Signing greeting cards from both of you, coming home from a night out to be with them and feeling strange having the bed to yourself were all named as modern signs of a serious relationship.
Interestingly, the results showed independence to be important in modern love, with many who said being able to have your own bank accounts and your own friends are signs of true love.
The study found many people look to Facebook to confirm a relationship – as a huge 63 per cent of adults said they’ve only found out about a friend’s new partner because of their profile updates. s well as a change in online relationship status, things are serious with a partner if they’re Facebook friends with your family members, said 19 per cent of adults.
And one in ten said a committed partner would ‘tag’ them on social media to let their friends know they’re on a date.
THE MODERN SIGNS OF TRUE LOVE
Wavebreak-Media-Ltd-bigstock
1. Signing greeting cards from both of you
2. Come home to them early when on a night out
3. Not wearing make-up or doing your hair
4. Feeling strange when you have the bed to yourself
5. Updating to ‘In a relationship’ on Facebook
6. Knowing what to order them when getting a takeaway
7. Being in constant contact, through texts, instant messages or calls
8. Texting when arriving somewhere so they know you’re safe
9. Texting goodnight/morning texts if you aren’t staying together
10. Having their photo as your desktop background/phone wallpaper
11. Buying their favourite food when grocery shopping
12. Answering the door to them in pyjamas/trackie bottoms
13. Having your own bank accounts/cash as well as a shared account
14. Your family members ‘adding’ your other half on social media
15. No longer being envious of your friends’ single lives
16. Finding yourself getting them spontaneous gifts based on private jokes
17. Each having your own friends, not just ‘couple friends’
18. Finishing off each other’s sentences
19. Enjoying doing their laundry when they’ve been staying with you
20. Having their favourite shows saved to your Netflix account
21. Tagging them on Facebook when you’re out together/on a date
22. Using his name or birthday for online passwords
23. Wearing one of his t-shirts to bed
24. Leaving a long line of kisses at the ends of texts or messages
25. Going on a diet/cutting out alcohol when they do
Drunk or otherwise – thinking it’s a great idea to share our most intimate moments with the world via Instagram. We’ve made a list of the top things we need to stop sharing.
Your Trout Pout.
It just isn’t sexy. No, really it isn’t. Unless you’re Katie Price or Rylan Clark it’s best to leave the lip service to the professionals. (Even if you are cute)
Wearing Sunglasses Indoors.
Clearly, there’s a problem here.
You Looking Like A Member of a boy band. Black Vest, check…
Vacant look, CHECK. Flawless skin, which has been photoshopped into a smooth paste… CHECK. Come to bed eyes… CHECK. In other news those eyebrows are amazing.
You And Your Toys.
Not sure this one needs explaining. The world does not need to see the cone you put up your ass. No wait, hang on – show us how you do that…
Pictures Of Your Conquests.
No one wants to know you ‘Just nutted in his ass’ (yes an actual caption), such a romantic notion. We don’t wanna know. Okay, that’s a blatant lie, more of these pics, please.
Random pictures of hot guys on public transport
As cute as he is… This is creepy AF.
Your Hook Up Texts.
TMI. Now I can’t concentrate.
Your First Class Ticket.
Bitch we don’t care about your priority sticker for your Ryanair flight.
Disney Stuff
What are you ten? Although we agree Elsa is the best Disney princess ever.
In an exclusive poll by THEGAYUK, lots of people say they just want to hear the truth…
CREDIT: GaudiLab/bigstock
What do you do when someone you’re not interested in, messages you on a hookup app like Grindr? Do you ignore, block or tell them truthfully that you’re just not into them? Trouble is, it’s quite difficult to be truthful to someone about your lack of attraction to them, without coming off rude.
Well according to our research users of dating apps would prefer that you told them directly that they aren’t your type. In fact, overwhelmingly, 68 per cent of us would, apparently prefer to know the truth.
Twenty-five per cent would prefer to just be ignored and the other seven per cent said that they’d be happy to just be blocked.
How do we actually react?
However, in contrast, when asked how people actually react when someone they don’t fancy hits them up on a dating app, most people admitted that they just tend to ignore or just block. Only around 44 per cent of guys say they are actually truthful and tell the other person that they’re not interested.
What’s the best way to tell someone you’re not interested?
CREDIT: Ryazan / BIGSTOCK
We asked our readership on Facebook what the best way of letting someone down. Jonathan told us, ” Imagine that it is you who is being rejected. Speak to them as you would like to be spoken to”
Whereas, Robert kept it nice and simple saying “Not my type, sorry fella”.
Gaz revealed that he’d write, “Hi, thanks for dropping me a message. Great profile but don’t think we are a match. Gaz”
Billy suggest that typing, “Politely say sorry I’m not interested we are looking for different things” might be the politest way of letting someone down gently.
So, if you’re someone who has sex, it’s important to go get tested.
For some people, there’s a lot of anxiety about going to get tested at a sexual health clinic, but I’m here to let you know, sexual health services in the UK have come along in the last decade or some. So regardless of any the horror stories, you might have heard, here’s what actually happened the last time I went to get tested – which was last week.
If you’re worried that medical implements are going to be stuck down your dick or up your ass or concerned that a bevvy of doctors will be taking a prolonged look at your squishy bits – you need to read on.
I’ve recently moved to a new area and thought about checking up on the sexual health services area, after a quick look online, I found my local sexual health clinic and was able to book my appointment online.
When entering the building, I was able to log in via a screen in the reception. Once booked in, I waited, perhaps 5 minutes before my name was read out – and I followed my nurse, Lesley, into a private office – where she checked my details, asked me a few basic sexual questions – like when was the last time I had sex – oral, anal and any other sexual activities which I had concerns about.
She asks what brought me to get tested today and I tell her that I want to be tested for HIV as well as other sexual health screenings.
I also ask her about getting the HPV vaccine – which she says is not a problem – she also suggests getting the Hepatitis vaccination. Which I agreed to.
After that, we walk across the hallway to a treatment room – in which there was a urinal, a sink, a bed and a trolley of medical supplies.
She asked me whether I wanted an oral and anal swab. ‘In for a penny’, I think and agree to both. She hands me a cotton wool bud in a long-thin plastic container and another small plastic container.
She leaves the room and allows me to, in private, pee in the cup and take my own anal swab, it’s really simple and you insert the bud about an inch or two inside you.
I put the top back on the pee jar and the swab back into its plastic container.
Next, after a few minutes, she reenters the room and takes the oral / throat swab, which again is another cotton wool bud. She says “it might make you gag…” I think, “not likely”. It doesn’t.
She then takes a vial of blood, which is painless and takes seconds.
She then collects the pee, the swabs and disappears from the room.
Moments later reappears with the vaccinations, I’ve asked for. Hep A and B and the HPV.
I have two injections in my right arm and the other in my left. All in all, I’m in the room for less than 15 minutes.
There was no examination of my body, although I’m guessing if I went in with specific issues she would have taken a look.
There was no sticking anything down my pee hole and no fingers up my butt.
My swabs were all done by myself. Self-service!
A week later a ping on my phone lets me know all my tests are clear.
So please, don’t fret about going to a sexual health clinic. It really isn’t invasive and remember knowledge is power. Your health status isn’t something you should shy away from – and the best thing, in the UK, testing and my vaccinations were free thanks to the NHS.
Not into topping. Not into bottoming? What are those guys called?
(C) BIGSTOCK
There’s a relatively new term for guys who don’t like having anal sex. Yep, guys who aren’t into topping or bottoming. Some are identifying themselves as “sides”.
Although the term itself is not getting the love it might deserve. As the LGBT+ community expands and adds more identities shouldn’t Sides be getting the recognition they warrant?
There’s a lot of emphases on anal sex in the gay, bi and curious community. Editor of THEGAYUK.com, Jake Hook says, “We are in a world where we’re expected to make instant proclamations on what we’re into. There’s a lot of pressure to define yourself as one or the other and the assumption that sex has to end up with penetration. Where does that assumption come from?
“First on the list is gay porn. All scenes tend to end up in anal sex. It’s become the standard.
“Secondly, the apps we used often ask us to pigeonhole ourselves into tribes including whether we’re tops, bottoms or vers.
“Thirdly, penetration is the world’s goto sex act – and it’s pretty heteronormative. In media we constantly see people going at it. One moment they are kissing the next he’s whipping off his trousers and she’s hitching her skirt. Straight to the penetration, without too much discussion about the other types of sex you can have.”
So who or what is a side?
(C) BIGSTOCK
It’s a guy who’s not into anal sex of any type instead he’ll be into kissing, hugging, oral and other types of sexual activity. Also, guys who cannot have anal sex might be considered a side. For instance, those who have had prostate surgery may not be able to have penetrative sex. It doesn’t mean that sex stops. It changes as prostate cancer campaigner Martin Wells told us.
So what are the other types of sex you can have without penetration?
There’s a whole world of sex that doesn’t end up with P in A action. Mutual masturbation, cock2cock frot, frottage, scissoring, oral, rimming, digital penetration, tantric, toy play, role play. Take your pick. All of those can end up with one or both of you climaxing, without the need to put a dick in an ass.
Where does the term “side” come from?
It appears that the term “side” was coined by Joe Kort Ph D in an article written for Huffington Post. Unfortunately, the author doesn’t explain the reason behind the word.
Defining Sideism he said, “Sides prefer to kiss, hug and engage in oral sex, rimming, mutual masturbation and rubbing up and down on each other, to name just a few of the sexual activities they enjoy. These men enjoy practically every sexual practice aside from anal penetration of any kind. They may have tried it, and even performed it for some time, before they became aware that for them, it was simply not erotic and wasn’t getting any more so”.
