THEGAYUK

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  • Wondering why your phone battery keeps dying? Maybe you need to chill with Grindr

    Wondering why your phone battery keeps dying? Maybe you need to chill with Grindr

    The thirst from Grindr is real…

    A new report has shown that dating apps are thirsty… and not just in a Chris Pine thirst kinda way.

    The online comparison site, Uswitch analysed 50 of the most popular apps of all major app stores, taking into account the permissions they allow and how many each app has access to, constantly draining the energy from your phone.

    The results revealed that gay favourite Grindr is the most draining dating app, using 28 permissions in total including location, photos and identity.

    Now that social distancing has been encouraged to delay Coronavirus, this has resulted in a spike in online dating app activity. As more find themselves caught indoors, many are relying on digital to ignite romantic and social conversations, here’s a guide to the apps to use to limit your usage (and the ones you will need your charger for) as you look for love.

    What Uswitch found was that Grindr asked for way more permissions (28) that other dating apps including, Bumble (20), Tinder (18) and Hinge (13).

    But if you’re looking for the most permission seeking apps – and therefore most battery-intensive, look no further than Google (72), Facebook (50) and Facebook Messenger (46).


    Based on the permissions they require, Google, Facebook and WhatsApp are the biggest drains on our batteries.  

    Facebook amongst others in the top 10, runs constantly on our mobile phones in the background and is accessing over 50 permissions including; contacts, location and media. 

    It might appear that Amazon’s Alexa is listening more than we realise. The Alexa app requests 39 permissions on our mobile phones ranging from location, camera and photos/media even when it’s not running. 

    Uber also makes the top 10 with 35 battery-draining permissions constantly accessing our location causing your battery to die faster than others. Waze is one of the most raved about map applications but is found to be more draining than Google maps. 

    Other apps such as Tik Tok, Mcdonalds, Grindr and Snapchat all make the top 20 list which can be found here. 

    Ernest Doku, mobiles expert at Uswitch.com advises on how to preserve your mobile phone battery, “It’s estimated that over 5 billion people in the world now own a mobile phone, it’s our main form of communication and for some people even a method of payment. 

    It can cause issues when you’re caught out with a drained battery. There are a few simple ways to preserve your mobile phone’s battery life, such as turning off WiFi/Bluetooth and making the most of low power modes. 

    If all else fails, remember to put a portable charger in your bag on long journeys”. 

  • This one tweet sums up everything a bottom feels when the top cancels

    This one tweet sums up everything a bottom feels when the top cancels

    Prepping takes time. It’s a dark art. It’s a f*cking ball ache. So don’t cancel.

    Bottoms of the world will surely and utterly get this tweet, which we think totally sums up that feeling when you’ve organised your Grindr hook up and then at the last minute, once you’ve done all your prepping, your top, pulls out – and not in a good way.

    We don’t know whether tops realise the effort that goes into making sure you won’t have a poop incident mid sesh or any chumber nuts when it comes to that booty call.

    [totalpoll id=”112599″]

    The thing is, most bottoms aren’t just “oven-ready” as it were – nope there’s a process and if a guy is particularly careful he may even have skipped meals for the night’s events – hell, we’ve even heard of some porn stars who don’t eat proper meals for up to two days before a shoot!

    Check out our list of foods you should definitely avoid if you’re planning to bottom.

    Bru-nO / Pixabay
    Just ice for dinner tonight….

    It’s a faff and there’s quite a bit of anxiety attached to it as well…

    There’s always the fear that you’ve not done it enough. Or you’ve done it too much (and left an entire well of water up there).

  • Do sexual health clinics use Penis Swabs, as they show on E4’s The Sex Clinic?

    Do sexual health clinics use Penis Swabs, as they show on E4’s The Sex Clinic?

    Channel 4 might be doing STI clinics a disservice when it comes to patient fears about what might happen to them when they go in for a sexual health checkup on their show, The Sex Clinic.

    Although The Sex Clinic is widely praised for the work that it does in educating us all about the importance of testing for sexually transmitted infections, there’s one thing that it shows, that isn’t quite right.

    The sexual health charity, Saving Lives took to Twitter to calm the fears of any guys out there worrying that a penis swab (that’s where they stick a swab down your pee hole) will be taken for testing and it turns out that the swabs that happen on the programme are actually done to fit in with the TV format, rather than refecting what actually happens.

    They wrote,

    We know we say this every week but: The penis swabs used on #TheSexClinic are NOT standard practice for routine STI screening in UK sexual health clinics. Usually, we just ask for a urine sample. The swabs are used on the show to give rapid results to fit the TV show format.

    So there you go, don’t fret. Go for a check-up. If you’re there for a regular and routine check-up it’s very unlikely you’ll have to even show the doctor or nurse your dick.

    Phew… right?

  • DILEMMA | After years of trying anal sex is still too painful

    DILEMMA | After years of trying anal sex is still too painful

    What can you do if anal sex is just too painful?

    HEY

    Why does anal sex hurt so much I’ve been having anal sex for years and still hurts to this day

    Bob

    Dear Bob,

    Your question is one that is asked often and one that has many answers. You say that you’ve been having anal sex for many years and it has continuously hurt, but I’d like to understand if this is unbearable pain or discomfort?

    Many guys who bottom will agree that there is a degree of discomfort when it comes to backdoor activities, this is pretty much normal, particularly for newbies to butt sex, but the overall pleasure experienced can often outweigh the discomfort.

    But if you are suffering unbearable pain during sex then you may need to seek medical advice from your GP – as there may be a more pressing underlying issue.

    That said there are a few things that you can try.

    Limit the length

    The Ohnut, was designed for women who suffer from endometriosis, to help limit the amount of penis that actually enters the vagina, but it can easily work for anal sex too.

    Essentially the Ohnut stops the top from entering you too far – giving you more control over how much cock you’re actually taking.

    Worn externally at the base of a penetrating partner e.g. on their shaft or on a toy, Ohnut compresses down to act as a soft buffer during sex. Each set comes with 4 linking rings that allow you to make simple adjustments, so you and your partner can not only discover comfort but also what depths feel really good for both of you.

    Lube, Lube and more lube

    It goes without saying that lube is always your friend when it comes to sex. I’m sure you’re already using lube but have you tried different types? The lube that you may be using might actually be part of the problem. Don’t just rely on the freebies that you can get from gay bars and clubs.

    There are now lubes specifically designed for anal play, which are thicker and longer-lasting. There are water, silicone and oil-based lubricants available. It might be worth exploring if any of these types make the experience more pleasurable for you. A word of warning though, oil-based lubes are not good for use with condoms.

    There’s also numbing lube, but it might not always be a good idea to use lubes that numb, read this article to find out why.

    Dilating and self play

    Have you tried self play? There are dilators – dildo kits that have a variety of sizes to help you relax the sphincter. You start off with a small insertable and as you become accustomed to the feel and feel you can go larger.

    The best bit about this is it’s all you. There’s no rush and you can take time to find out what feels right for you.

    Are you relaxed?

    (C) BIGSTOCK

    One of the biggest issues we face when having butt sex is not the actual mechanics of the butt and all its nerve endings and muscles, it’s actually your mind.

    Are you in a relaxed state? Are you anxious when having sex? Is the sex you’re having, actually the sex you want?

    Only you can answer these questions, but having a think about your mind frame when having sex might lead you to some answers surrounding your discomfort.

    Always remember if sex is just too painful and you want it to stop, then make sure your partner knows and hears you. It’s your body and you don’t have to continue if you don’t want to.

    Have you got a dilemma you’d like to share? Click here to speak to our agony uncle.

  • Where can I get a free at-home HIV test?

    Where can I get a free at-home HIV test?

    Did you know you can test yourself for HIV in the comfort of your own home?

    Thanks to at-home testing you no longer have to book an appointment at your local sexual health clinic to test for a variety of sexually transmitted infections, including HIV. However we’d always suggest you book an appointment with a clinic – as it really isn’t that awful an experience – read our full review of visiting a sexual health clinic here.

    Embed from Getty Images

    However, you’re unable to get to a clinic there are charities and health organisations that can send out an HIV test to your home for you to self-test.

    To read our review of the at-home self-test click here.

    Watch how to take an at-home self-test for HIV

    The Saving Lives charity has given the readers of THEGAYUK.com a free offer – when you use GAYUK20 you can get an HIV Self Test sent to your home.

    Just click here to order your HIV Self Test Kit today.

  • There’s now a way to chat on Grindr via your computer

    There’s now a way to chat on Grindr via your computer

    CREDIT: Ryazan / BIGSTOCK

    Behold! you can now pretend to be in 1997 and check your hook up messages on your computer.

    Those of us who were around in the glory days of Gaydar – that was the website which basically kickstarted the online gay hook up revolution, way before Grindr, you would log on to the service, on your computer and check your profile, messages and chat online.

    Well, now you can do that with Grindr. Instead of using your phone and zapping up all that valuable battery power, you can log onto Grindr’s chat website using your computer – all you need to do is log on to web.grindr.com/mail.

    How do you log into Grindr’s Website?

    You’ll need to open the app on your phone and open up Grindr on your desktop computer. On your phone, go to settings (by clicking on your profile and clicking on to the settings options) You’ll see an option saying, “Log in to Grindr web”.

    You’ll then have to scan the QR code, with your phone, shown on your desktop screen and voila, Grindr will link your phone and your computer.

    Once linked, you’ll be able to see all your previous messages, respond to them, check profiles and basically use Grindr as you normally would.

    It will require access to your location in order to use the GPS function.

    In-office view, no one will be able to tell that you’re using Grindr to check for messages as it looks just like a normal webmail service.

    There’s also a work/ office view – which means that no one can see that you’re actually on Grindr.

  • Yes, there are straight-identifying guys who want gay sex

    Yes, there are straight-identifying guys who want gay sex

    Is Sex different from Sexuality?

    (C) BIGSTOCK

    When one straight identifying guy on Reddit said that the thought of having sex with another man gave him “butterflies in his stomach” but didn’t he was “gay enough” to do it, people were there to guide him.

    Society problems?

    So what’s really holding guys back from experimenting with someone of the same sex? This poster wrote that he had an image of him as a “straight guy loving girls” but his feelings go the opposite way – despite not having a specific crush on a guy.

    He wrote,

    “…I got an image of myself as a straight guy loving girls and my feelings go in the opposite direction. I love masculinity and want to be a submissive guy. I hate being dominant while/and having sex with girls. But I never thought of going in bed with a specific guy, I never had a crush on a guy. This is “not gay enough”.

    So is he in love with the idea of being straight, but his heart is telling he’s gay, bi or curious? He wrote that he once tried a blowjob but felt deeply ashamed afterwards.

    Society’s push?

    This user suggested that society had its role in defining our sexuality and what is right and wrong, saying,

    “That’s just society that has shoved that idea in your head.
    “I felt guilty AF after I gave my first blowjob to the point where I ran away from my boyfriend (at the time)’s apartment and cried and threw up a bunch.

    “You can get over that and become comfortable with yourself. I sure did, and it didn’t take too long.”

    (C) BIGSTOCK

    Get stuck in

    Another poster was a little more upfront with his suggestion

    “suck some dick and see what happens”

    What’s “Gay Enough” mean?

    Another suggested,

    “If you’re a man and you want to have sex with another man, that makes you gay enough. You could be anyone from the most macho muscleman to the most femmy twink, and it doesn’t matter. All that matters is that you want to have sex with another man. That’s all it takes to be “gay enough”.

    “What’s wrong with you is that you’re holding yourself back from doing something you want to do. What you should do is have sex with another man.

    Another chipped in

    I’d recommend you just start experimenting. Take it slow, though, and make it clear that you’re new at this.

    Bisexual? Pansexual?

    This user pointed out that the OP might not be homosexual, but rather someone who is sexually attracted to all sexes and genders,

    “Your [sic] probably bi or pan and have inner-homophobia from religion, family, culture, whatever. Go out, or on an app, be honest on those apps and guys, have some condoms and lube handy and have sex with men. Good luck, have fun.

    Bottom line

    One of life’s struggles is the journey to becoming comfortable with yourself, however, that looks. Although some may see you as one thing, you, in the end, get to decide how to define yourself and set those boundaries.

    As long as you’re not hurting anyone and everything is consensual, crack on we say and enjoy yourself.

  • Is there a gay dating site which isn’t just for hookups?

    (C) BIGSTOCK

    If you’re looking for a quickie or even some picture swapping there are plenty of apps out there where gay and bi guys can hook up, but what if you want something deeper (get your mind out of the gutter).

    This was a question recently posed on Reddit and it got people questioning where they could get a good date rather than a quick session of “fun”.

    Back in 2015 our columnist Scott Sammons tested out all the major dating apps to find out which offered the best services and dating opportunities.

    For dating opportunities he recommended Tinder, saying that the app was “designed to “match” people based on their personalities and likes/dislikes”. The app asks users to fill out a survey and then based on those results shows you profiles of guys you’re likely to want to date.

    Sammons also added, “there are very little opportunities to declare your sexual preferences or put on your profile that you’re horny”. So if you’re after dates than quick hookups this might be a solution.

    He also suggested Gaydar and Plenty Of Fish as alternatives to the likes of Grindr, Hornet and Jack’d.

    Otherwise, users on Reddit suggested OKCupid, with one user admitting that he had had a lot of “success on the platform”.

    So what’s the best way of meeting someone new?

    Readers on our Facebook page, however, were less hopefully when we asked the question about the best dating app – not for hookups.

    One user wrote, “All of them are hook up sites” while another added, “It would be nice if there WAS one you could actually connect & chat rather than just sex…..but I don’t see it happening lol”

    Finding love or just sex?

    CREDIT: ©-Vadymvdrobot-Depositphotos

    Back in 2018, we asked our readers whether they had found love on a dating up. Thirty-six per cent said that they had found love and were still together, while 39 per cent said that they used them only for short-term relationships or hookups.

  • If you have to end your relationship, here’s how not to be a dick about it

    If you have to end your relationship, here’s how not to be a dick about it

    When you know, you know. So what’s the best way to call time on a relationship?

    How to break up with your partner
    CREDIT: Wavebreak-Media-Ltd-bigstock

    So if you’ve decided that time is up on your relationship we’ve got some suggestions on how not to make a pig’s ear out of the breakup process. Yes, it’s likely to hurt, and it’s probably going to get messy. So here’s ten tips on how not to be a douche when you dump someone.

    1) Is it really over?

    Are you sure? Can it be fixed or perhaps, more importantly, is it worth fixing? If it is then maybe, you need to hash it out with your partner. Have an honest discussion about your feelings. Maybe it’s worth seeing a relationship and sex therapist to help you navigate the issues you’re both facing.

    2) Give an actual reason.

    Don’t trot out that clichéd line, “It’s not you, it’s me”. Do you know how annoying that is? It means nothing and doesn’t help the other side have some closure. If there’s no other reason apart from the fact that you’ve fallen out of love, then say that. It can be harsh to say, but the reality of those words should hit home.

    3) Quit it and don’t go back.

    ARRRRGHHH. Stop playing with my heart. If the relationship is over, make sure it’s over. Don’t give the impression that things could be fixed if they can’t be.

    4) Speak to a friend.

    eak_kkk / Pixabay

    Chat with your friends about your plans before you make that break. They may have some insight or advice for you. Ultimately it’s your choice, but it doesn’t hurt to communicate what you’re feeling.

    5) Think about you, but also think about him.

    Remember you did once love or intensely like this guy, so be nice. Be honest and be firm. THEGAYUK’s very own Jordan Lohan suggests: “Honour the love you once had for each other by being respectful to one another during the breakup process.

    Breakups don’t need to be messy if you choose for them not to be.”

    6) Don’t procrastinate.

    CREDIT: Minerva-Studio-bigstock

    If you’ve made your decision don’t hold off until the “right moment”. Even if that means you’re going to lose money, because you’ve got a holiday coming up or theatre tickets or whatever. If you own a house together or have a huge financial commitment together, then you might need to stay together for a bit longer, once you’ve broken up, until you can sort and separate your finances.

    7) Don’t feel sorry for him.

    He’s not a child, and he doesn’t need your pity. Try not to feel guilty for your actions. You’re doing this for a reason, hopefully, to make you both better people! Keep focused.

    8) Set out some post-bofxit (post boyfriend) rules.

    Set out some simple communication rules. Only texts, only emails – or whatever works for you. Don’t get drawn into long, complicated conversations. Keep it polite and professional.

    9) Let him blow.

    CREDIT: ©-coolfonk-Depositphotos

    He might have a few words to say after you tell him you’re done. If he gets angry, just listen. Don’t retaliate and don’t goad. If you feel physically threatened leave. It’s only natural that if the breakup comes as a shock that he might react in an angry way.

    10) Plan your exit.

    Don’t rely on him to drive you home or lend you cash for a cab after breaking it off. Make sure you know what your exit plan is.

  • These are the smells that turn men on… apparently

    These are the smells that turn men on… apparently

    It’s fair to say that as gay men there are some scents that drive us insanely lustful, but these will vary widely from guy to guy.

    One man’s musty Calvins is another’s worst nightmare, however scientifically there are, apparently, some fragrances that arouse guys and the clever bods at Cosy Owl have discovered that there are a few smells that drive guys wild.

    Along with psychologist Daniel Sher, Cosy Owl dug deeper to find out what worked and what didn’t.

    These are the scents that triggered a sexual response

    Pumpkin Pie, Black Liquorice and Doughnut came up as the most arousing scents for guys.

    So the next time you find yourself in a Krispy Kreme’s line and holding down a raging man pole, it could be the scent of those holely cooked goods that are getting your all worked up!

    Daniel Sher is a registered clinical psychologist and a consultant for the Between Us Clinic commented,

    “Previous studies suggest that the combination of lavender and pumpkin pie is the most popular scent, followed by black liquorice and doughnut. Other studies suggest that musk triggers a sexual response because it is reminiscent of testosterone. Women are also most likely to have a sexual response to odours including baby powder; and candy with cucumber.

    “Neurological studies which show that the olfactory lobe (the part of the brain responsible for processing smells) is one of the structures that make up the limbic system (the emotional centre of the brain). The limbic system also plays an important role in a person’s sex drive. Based on brain anatomy, therefore, researchers believe that sex, smell and emotion are all closely interconnected”.

    Richard Fewings of Cosy Owl also commented:

    “We wanted to turn up the heat and go all the way this Valentine’s Day by helping our customers with their ‘interior decorating’ skills (wink)… If you want to ignite the flame in your relationship, make sure you have these scents ready and waiting at home this Valentines Day.”

    If you’re looking to up your game for true BDE (big dick energy), Cosy Owl has created a designated fragrance oil category for lovers, based on the scents that turn us on the most: https://www.cosyowl.com/candle-making-supplies/fragrance-oils/love

  • 20 Amazing Things About Being Single

    20 Amazing Things About Being Single

    With the Valentine’s nuts going crazy for the impending day of “love” we reflect on why it’s great to be single.

    1) I don’t have to worry about you want to eat.

    Tonight I want tacos. You want spaghetti… Tachetti it is then… Damn compromising.

     

    2) My bed, my farts.

    I don’t have to worry about trumping in bed. Hurrah. Trump trump trump.

     

    3) My remote.

    Ha ha ha!  Netflix and chill has a whole new meaning for me.

     

    4) Self loving.

    I know exactly what gets me off and I ain’t afraid to do it.

    (while you’re at it listen to this song about the act of self loving!

     

    5) Time to think

    We’re all time poor and being alone gives me time to spend doing things that I wouldn’t otherwise get the chance to.

    6) Dates, dates and more dates

    Nothing like a bit of date night and the expectation of that first kiss

     

    7) My cat is the only relationship I need

    My cat loves me unconditionally… sometimes.

     

    8) I get to keep up with who’s who on Grindr.

    Yep. Even though I’m single I see so much peen. So much peen.

    9) There’s literally no one to tell me that I shouldn’t drink anymore.

    Yay me.

    10) I don’t have to sleep on that one slither of bed

    CREDIT: Dmytro-Sidelnikov-bigstock

    Or deal with stolen duvet all night.

     

    11) I cannot be cheated on.

    No broken hearts for me.

    12) I can listen to all my coupled mates harp on about their woes and partner troubles and think.

    Thank f that ain’t me

     

    13) Life is one sexabout.

    Like picking apples from the tree. I’m out testing the orchard and having a lot of fun on the way.

     

     

    14) I can have a threesome

    (C) BELAMI

    and be the one to walk away

     

    15) I have a tonne of horrifying date night stories for my friends.

    I’m literally a walking standup show with my tales.

     

    16) I can relax.

    No one is going to come in halfway through my House Of Cards marathon and start blathering on about their day

     

    17) I don’t have clear my browser’s history.

    ©-lofilolo-Depositphotos

    “The internet is for porn”

    18) I never have to see a movie with Lindsay Lohan in it ever again.

    Wednesday’s we wear vomit.

    19) Every outing is an opportunity to meet new guys…

    It’s a big world out there.

     

    20) I’m always right