Is your relationship on the rocks? Was 2019 a tough year, research has shown that people are rowing about what their other after is posting online!
Just under half of all Brits admit they have secretly checked their partner’s Facebook account and one in five went on to row about what they discovered, new research has revealed.
One in seven said they had contemplated divorce because of their other halves activities on Facebook, Skype, Snapchat, Twitter or WhatsApp.
People are angry at the amount of posting their partners do
CREDIT: monkeybusinessimages-bigstock
Nearly a quarter or the 2,000 married Brits asked, said they had at least one argument a week with their partner because of social media use and 17 per cent said they rowed every day because of it.
The most common reasons for checking their partner’s social media accounts was to find out who their partner was talking to, to keep tabs on them, to check who they were out with and find out if they were telling the truth about their social life.
While 14 per cent said they looked specifically to identify evidence of infidelity.
The research was commissioned by family law specialists Slater and Gordon who have seen an increase in the number of people citing social media use as a cause of divorce year on year.
Andrew Newbury, head of family law at Slater and Gordon said:
“Social media can be a wonderful way of keeping in touch with family and friends, but it can also put added strain on a relationship.
“Five years ago Facebook was rarely mentioned in the context of a marriage ending, but now it has become common place for clients to cite social media use, or something they discovered on social media, as a reason for divorce.
“With more than 556 million people using Facebook each day, the way we live our lives, and our marriages, has drastically changed. We are finding that social media is the new marriage minefield.
“Social media, specifically pictures and posts on Facebook, are now being routinely raised in the course of divorce proceedings.”
It wasn’t just what their partner was doing on social media but also how long they spent on it that was likely to cause marital problems with Facebook usage topping the list of reasons couples argued over social media.
Arguments were also caused because of contact with an ex-partner, sending secret messages and posting inappropriate photos.
One in twenty even complained that their partner didn’t post any pictures of them together which made them upset.
Fifteen per cent of Brits considered social media to be dangerous to their marriage, with Facebook considered the most dangerous, followed by WhatsApp, Twitter and Instagram.
But one in ten admitted they hid images and posts from their partner, while eight per cent admitted to having secret social media accounts.
A fifth of respondents said they felt uneasy about their relationship after discovering something on their partner’s Facebook. 43 per cent said they confronted their spouse immediately about this, but 40 per cent said it took them some time before they felt comfortable to raise it with their partner.
While a third said they kept their social media log-in details a secret from their partners, 58 per cent said they knew their partner’s log-in details, even if their spouse wasn’t aware they knew them.
Andrew Newbury, head of family law at Slater and Gordon said:
“Social media can also make a divorce more difficult. Divorce is already a stressful time for everyone involved and what is being posted on Facebook can antagonise families and make a speedy resolution more difficult to achieve.
“We are now actively advising our clients to be cautious when it comes to using Facebook and all forms of social media because of its potential to damage relationships.”
Five social media tips that could save your relationship.
1. Don’t post in anger.
Your post will be seen by all your friends, family and potentially millions of others. Even if you later delete your post, the damage will have been done.
2. Be respectful.
Don’t complain about your partner or other family members online.
3. Be transparent.
Check with your partner before you post images or information.
4. Check your privacy settings.
You might think someone can’t see a post when they actually can.
5. Take a break and enjoy the moment.
You don’t need to post everything on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter.
Apparently breadcrumbing is the new way of completely messing with people’s minds. Especially if they’re interested in dating you, but you’re just not so into them, but you’re stringing them along with a flurry of flirty messages or texts.
“the act of sending out flirtatious, but non-committal text messages”
So the definition offered by Urban Dictionary is “the act of sending out flirtatious, but non-committal text messages (ie “breadcrumbs”) in order to lure a sexual partner without expending much effort,” which is kinda leading people on, right?
It can also be used for someone you have broken up with but don’t quite want to let go… or keeping a guy on hold if you’re not quite ready to date him yet.
Free-Photos / Pixabay
Mobile or tech dating is just a fact of life as we head into the twenties… and sometimes it just tough to get a straight answer from someone so, like Madonna sings, “Don’t go for second best baby… Put your love to the test”.
It’s not really unusual for gay and bi guys to open up their relationships…
(C) BELAMI
Sometimes what we do in our own community might seem strange to those outside it, like this straight-identified man who took to Reddit to ask whether it was normal for gay guys to have open relationships after his gay friend confided in him that he was getting bored of married life after just one year and decided to have a threesome.
Reddit gays were on hand to let him know that it’s not that uncommon that gay couples, but not always, to open up their relationships – to differing degrees.
So what are those degrees of an open relationship?
Where a couple might talk or fantasise about having a threesome or a four-way with another couple. It’s on the table, the discussion is happening, maybe they even watch threesome porn together, but they’re not physically committed yet.
There’s the casual threeway, where you both agree on the same person and are both involved. The couple sets up a date and go for it together.
The screen door
http://gty.im/6262-000289
This is where a couple regularly has three ways, four ways or even attend orgies. They are okay with their partner having sex with other people and don’t necessarily have to be involved, as long as they are in the same room or building or event and have both agreed to the sex that is happening outside the relationship.
This is where the couple is open and honest about having sex with other people. There still may be rules attached to the sex, like condoms only, but generally, both parties in the relationship are happy about their partner having sex with someone else. The line would be drawn at creating an emotional attachment to someone outside the relationship.
The Truple (the swing door??)
I can’t take the door analogy any further but the truple is where a couple decides to open their relationship in all senses, sexually and emotionally and allow a third to become part of the family.
So what do you think? Are you open to an open relationship?
Speaking on the latest Himeros podcast gay porn star Alex Faux revealed what he thinks is the hardest thing about being a bottom in gay porn.
Speaking with the studio’s creator, Davey Wavey, about the issue confidence, both body and mind, and whether taking part in porn was empowering, Alex revealed,
“I can work with people that I’m not necessarily attracted to or they’re gay for pay, but that for me is the hardest part in porn, especially as a bottom, which is about 99% of what I do.
But he said, the worst bit was “When your in a scene with a partner who isn’t gay, or who isn’t into you, that for me is one of the struggles in porn, because it breaks down the reason I did it.
“I’m back to square one where I’m like, ‘shit, am I not good enough?’
The tweet grew a large audience and quickly went viral with many people commenting about how true to life the Tweet felt, with at least one exclaiming “Oh my goodness – how accurate this observation is” while another admitted, “I feel like I fit excellently into many of these categories”
Although it did leave one or two questioning about what happens to gay who hit 40/50/60.
Of many people started to add their own thought about what subclasses should be added to the list including, travel gays and theatre gays and one asked, “Wait what about the farmers market / bake sourdough bread and give it to all your friends / raise chickens and sheep outside city limits gay”.
The tweet has over 20,000 likes, nearly 3,000 retweets and over 500 comments.
If you spend any length of time on Grindr, you’ll probably have experienced the ghosting of Grindr.
It can be entirely frustrating especially if you’ve arranged a meet after spending hours on a conversation – and then nothing, nada, zilch. You’ve been blocked. Welcome to the world of ghosting.
These guys on Reddit spill the beans after one poster wrote about how much it “sucked” when someone he had been conversing with blocked him with no reason.
He wrote, “Boy does it suck when you vibe with someone on Grindr, and then a couple of hours later you looked back at the chat only to realize you were blocked. What similar story have you experienced
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The responses came thick and fast – as you might expect.
One user revealed, “Met this boy and we really vibed. Had a great time together and spoke about meeting soon again. A couple of days later he blocks me on everything (had him on WhatsApp, snap etc). He just totally ghosted me. It really sucked because I liked him a lot.
“Couple months later I get this message from him how he is sorry and that he just didn’t know how to handle something like this. He wasn’t out yet and he didn’t know how to handle the feeling of liking someone genuinely”.
Another victim of ghosting shared, “I matched with a guy on Tinder a while back. It was quite a nice surprise because it had reached that point where I had swiped all the available people and the app was stagnating.
He messaged me first (which is rare) so I thought there was genuine interest. We really hit it off and we were having a rather nice, meaningful conversation. Lo and behold, two hours later he unmatched me.
I feel like people are just playing games on these apps. You have to take everything they say with a grain of salt. It’s better for me now just being off the dating apps altogether.
Another explained how you might be better off being blocked, “Boys are scared. Trolls are asshats. Just be thankful u didn’t have to waste any more time on them. Probs a catfish anyhow.”
“I had just been swiping for fun and was about to delete it and then I came across his profile. I was intrigued but didn’t think we would click but ultimately just said “wth” and swiped right and we matched and started chatting (which surprised me cos hardly anyone really chatted back even though you’ve matched). We chatted for a week and then decided to meet up. On my way to meet up I was so nervous that I almost flaked but so glad I didn’t.
“He’s the best guy ever! I love him to pieces. we clicked instantly and now I can’t wait to marry him”.
Explanation?
As a way of explaining why this might be happening, one commentor suggested that it could be a touch of narcissism, he wrote,
“I am ashamed to say I have done this in the past and I really do regret my actions, I am just one of those people who don’t know how to properly decline someone.
“the feeling that they are not the unwanted piece of crap they believe they are) I don’t know.
“In the past I have been on there, vibed with guys and realised I have bitten off way more than I can chew and told them I wasn’t interested in the first place maybe a little bit too late (you know, I was the type to say just making conversation in the bio, but if the right guy comes along type), and then blanked them when they repeatedly message me. I have never made promises. But I know some people will have done so and chicken out realising that it wasn’t really what they wanted and without telling the other person.
“Is it good? Hell no. But when you feel like you have let someone down the last thing you want to do is to confront the issue, at least for me it is anyway, and at the end of the day, both sides lose. But because it’s on the internet, with strangers, the moral burden really doesn’t sink in as much, which sucks because they don’t know who they could have upset.
“Either way I’m sorry you had to go through something like this, either you encountered a narcissist or just someone with cold feet. I wish you luck on your hunt though”.
The Satisfyer Men Wand is probably the only bedroom toy you’ll ever need.
With 35 vibration settings, your little Mr will thank you, over and over and over again.
When it comes to sex toys for men they usually require a bit of preparation and a lot of faff, which is probably why most men just make use of just one piece of equipment – their hands.
The Satifyer Men Wand couldn’t be more simple and easy to use. What’s more thanks to its design, function and usability it might be the only cock toy you’ll ever need.
After making sure your wand is fully charged (it charges with a USB connector) simply slip your D into the slot at the end and let the vibrations take you to climatic bliss.
You can hold it many ways – as long as the head of your dick is in contact with the vibration “wings” – you’ll have hours of fun – actually probably only a few minutes because it’s so darn arousing.
And because there’s no friction caused by rubbing or thrusting you can use it over and over again – without any penile soreness, redness or ache. Win-win-win.
Satisfyer has a long history of creating weird and wonderful looking sex toys and the Satisfyer Men Wand sits up there with the best.
We’re giving it a solid five stars.
Check it out from THEGAYSHOP or check out the Satisfyer Store.
And it uses a Sex in the City analogy, so double points
The differences between straight people and gay people can feel world’s apart sometimes.
Despite the fact that the legal and social gaps between gay and straight people are closing year on year, especially in the UK and other Westernised cultures, somethings probably won’t ever change.
One of the major differences is the way in which gay guys view, have and find sex.
Anecdotally, it feels as though gay/bi/curious men tend to have many more sexual partners than their straight counterparts.
So when we discovered this tweet from “Gay-Z” it felt like there could be a smidge of truth to it.
In the tweet, he wrote,
“Gay culture is being the Samatha of your straight group, but the Charlotte of your gay one”
For those not in the know, Samatha in Sex in the City was the far more raunchy, sexualised character – who had many sexual partners and sexual exploits than her friends.
Charlotte was a lot more reserved.
Controversial or truth?
The tweet could be seen as controversial, however, many of the repliers agreed with the statement, with one saying that it was “good” and another adding, “This is 100% accurate”.
If that hot guy you hooked up with isn’t getting back to you, chances are you’ve been ghosted.
First of all, what does being ghosted mean?
The process of being ghosted means that a person that you’ve gotten to know well, perhaps over the course of a few weeks or months, suddenly and inexplicably disappears.
They cease all communications with you.
They don’t even seem to have checked their messages.
You can be ghosted in a real-life relationship and in an online relationship. basically they’ve turned into a ghost.
Now sometimes there could be a very good reason why they’ve become ghosts and some may even have a legitimate reason for the disappearing act – perhaps, maybe they actually did die! There’s no way of knowing whether they did, particularly if your relationship was solely online via a private app like Grindr.
And perhaps they already had a partner who found out about the affairs and has ground their partner’s phone into a fine dust – unfortunately, you’ll probably never know.
So how often does ghosting happen on dating apps?
We ran a quick poll on our social media and it turns out is very very common. Around 83% who answered the poll said that being ghosted “happened a lot” and that it happened to them in the past.
So to answer the question, yes, ghosting does happen a lot of dating ups.
It could be lethal. So here’s what you need to know.
CREDIT: TheGayUK
One doctor told THEGAYUK.com, that taking a Viagra and poppers together, could cause “…a significant drop in the blood pressure that can lead to collapse and death”
Those are the words of a doctor who is warning users that mixing Viagra and poppers together could cause some real damage to health after a new study revealed that over half (55 per cent) of people who use Viagra have also used poppers alongside them. Over half of those said they had no idea of the dangers of mixing.
In the survey by AssuredPharmacy over 1400 people were questioned about their popper usage, 80 per cent admitted to using poppers and over half admitted to using poppers regularly.
Aside from a headache, potential skin burns and fainting, poppers are known to cause a drop in blood pressure, and mixing with Viagra according to one doctor, could be very dangerous.
Speaking to THEGAYUK.com Dr Roisin McHugh BSc, MBBS, MRCGP, DRCOG, DCH, DGM, DPD said,
“Alkyl nitrites, commonly known as poppers, if taken in combination with sildenafil (Viagra) can have a dangerous effect. The combination will cause a drop in blood pressure, this can be a significant drop in the blood pressure that can lead to collapse and death”
Are poppers safe?
Many gay and bisexual men use poppers and don’t suffer any issues, however, their usage does come with warnings. For instance, they can cause death if swallowed. Also, people who have heart problems should stay away from using them – especially when combined with other medications, such as Viagra. They can cause a person’s blood pressure to drop incredibly low.
Don’t forget the skin burns!
Doctor McHugh also warned about skin burns, saying, “Poppers cause chemical burns if you get the liquid on your skin and don’t wash it off with water quickly enough. In rare cases, there are also some reports that poppers can cause impaired vision or sight loss, although this may be reversible if you stop using them. If you abuse them heavily you can experience crusty yellow facial skin lesions around the lips, nose and mouth”.
In 2014 optometrists warned about vision loss in those who habitually use poppers. There have been reports of temporary and permanent vision loss. It is referred to as “poppers maculopathy”.
If you experience any issues with your eyesight you should seek medical advice.
