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  • Yet another Brighton LGBT bar falls victim to 2020. “Terrible loss” and for the community

    Yet another Brighton LGBT bar falls victim to 2020. “Terrible loss” and for the community

    2020 has turned out to be a truly unsustainable year for so many industries, but LGBT+ venues are getting a real battering right now, thanks to the tier system, uncertainty surrounding lockdowns and the controversial 10 PM curfew enacted by the government.

    Bar Broadway in Brighton has announced that it is closing and many former patrons and performers are mourning its loss, including Drag Queen Tanya Hyde who said the closure was a “terrible loss for Brighton and the scene”.

    The bar, which is relatively new on the Brighton gay scene, opening in 2014, had been an incredibly busy and distinct venue for the area.

    Brighton’s Gay Men’s Chorus, wrote, “All of us at Brighton Gay Men’s Chorus would like to express our deep sadness and regret on hearing the news that Bar Broadway has had to close its doors for the last time. Having spent many unforgettable nights there celebrating after our own shows, it will be a huge loss, not only to us, but to the whole community. We wish the management and staff all the best for the future and hope that this is only just the start of something new for them all.”

    Drag Queen Maria Gardner wrote, “Bar Broadway was far more than a bar to me. It was a place that gave me the opportunity to start my drag career, they comforted me through a tough breakup, they gave me space to heal and sing for so many likeminded Disney lovers, I hosted my first Fringe shows there, collab shows with Alfie Ordinary, MenTalkHealth and 2 hilarious birthday bashes plus I made some of my closest friends I could ever ask for in this space.”

    Earlier in the year, the iconic Legends fell into administration, but since the report was brought back into existence.

  • How to hire a rent boy or an escort

    How to hire a rent boy or an escort

    1. Go online and find the right guy.

    There’s no need to trawl the streets looking for escorts or rentboys in fact, in 2020 is anyone still really doing that? There are loads of escorting and rentboy sites, which you can Google, where guys of all shapes, sizes and colours have uploaded their pictures and loaded their profiles with information on what they’re into and up for. You’ll be able to find someone to suit your needs very quickly.

    2. Reach out to them

    Whether you call, text, Whatsapp or email the next step is to make contact with them. Some workers may be around all hours, others might not be. If he’s available or taking bookings he’ll answer.

    Once you’ve connected, here’s where you tell him or describe what it is you’re looking for and the worker will be able to tell you whether it’s doable.

    Lay it all out here. Don’t spring any surprises on your escort when you’re actually meeting.

    Also, discuss the price. The escort may have already said what his price per hour is on the website, or he may have put “Ask Me”… Tell him how long you’re looking for and what price he can do it for. The going rate is around £150 per hour. There may be extras, which can be bolted on, such as bareback, massage, kink etc.

    Some guys will offer “in calls” – that’s where you go to him and “outcalls” is where he’ll travel to you.

    Outcalls can be more expensive and you might be asked for a deposit from your guy. This is normal and is essentially because some clients bail at the last minute or give out false information. So a deposit shows you really mean business.

    3. Agree on it all before you or he turns up!

    Again don’t spring it on your guy that you’re into fisting or food play or underwear smelling beforehand. Equally, if you’re wanting to top him, let him know beforehand, so he can prepare. Most escorts, if they are bottoms or vers, will already be prepared… Also, have the safer sex discussion. Some guys will bareback, others won’t. Don’t push if he says he’s condom only.

    4. Make sure you’re prepared too.

    black shower head switched on
    Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

    Shower (be clean) and prep yourself, if you’re looking to get fucked. Nobody likes a shitty kitty (unless that’s what you’ve paid for). Looking for info on douching? Check it out here.

    5. Arrive and money

    Don’t forget sex work is work. The money conversation should happen upfront. Preferred method… cash. Don’t make a big thing about it. Again it’s a good point to lay out what it is you want to do. It’s your time so script it out if that helps.

    6. Get down to it.

    It’s your time so use it how you want to. Let your guy know what works, what doesn’t, but be polite and professional and your escort will reciprocate (again unless you’ve paid for something different).

    7. Condoms.

    kerryank / Pixabay

    If you agreed on condoms, make sure you wear one and don’t pressure your sex worker into having bareback once in the flow of things. A good escort will have a supply of condoms, lube and most likely poppers, particularly if it’s an incall.

    8. Clean up in aisle.

    Once the fun is over, let your escort make his excuses and leave. Make sure you see him to the door. If you’re feeling generous a tip will never be refused.

    9. Review

    If you enjoyed give him a good review on whatever website you found him on.

  • UNDER THREAT: Council Of Europe “concerned” For Safety And Rights Of LGBT+ People Of Poland

    UNDER THREAT: Council Of Europe “concerned” For Safety And Rights Of LGBT+ People Of Poland

    Delegates from the Council of Europe have said that they are “concerned” for gay people’s rights and safety in Poland after a fact-finding mission in the country found that some local and regional authorities had adopted so-called “anti-LGBT ideology”.

    In a statement they wrote,

    “Sexual orientation has become a polarising issue in Polish society; this is also increasingly reflected in local and regional authorities, some of which have adopted so-called “anti-LGBTI ideology” resolutions and declarations, and family charters” noted the members of the Congress delegation.

    They added, “We are concerned about the negative impact this situation has on LGBTI people’s lives, rights and safety”.

    Fact-finding

    On 2 and 3 November 2020, the delegation gathered facts and insight from the government, parliamentarians, the ombudsman, local and regional authorities and their associations, and NGOs.

    Referring to the European Convention on Human Rights ratified by Poland in 1993, the delegation recalled that Article 14 expressly prohibits discrimination on all grounds and protects everyone including LGBT+ people.

    “Local authorities have a crucial role in upholding citizens’ rights as well as promoting dialogue and social cohesion”, they stressed.

    Embed from Getty Images

    A report on the fact-finding mission will be submitted to the Congress and other Council of Europe institutions and the findings will serve for the preparation of a report on “the role and responsibilities of local authorities in the protection of LGBTI people” to be considered by the Congress early 2021.

  • Gay Dating | What does “A Levels” mean on dating or escorting sites?

    Gay Dating | What does “A Levels” mean on dating or escorting sites?

    Decoding “A Levels” – if you see “A Levels” in someone’s dating, hook up or even sex-worker profile here is what it means.

    Simply put it means Anal Sex and has nothing to do with the exams that school leavers take before heading off to university!

    Mostly used in the UK and traditionally used by sex workers to show that they offer anal sex as one of their services. Not every escort site uses the term, but you can still see it on sites like Vivastreet.

    Check out more gay dating terms.

  • DILEMMA | It’s been a year and I still can’t get over my ex

    DILEMMA | It’s been a year and I still can’t get over my ex

    Dear Uncle,

    It’s been a year since me and my first boyfriend broke up and I’m still can’t get over him. We were together for 2 years and unfortunately, it really didn’t end too well. One day he just said it wasn’t working and that he wanted to move on. Up until that point, I thought that we and our relationship was doing well. I did notice in the last month that he seemed more distance and we weren’t having as much sex as we were in the beginning, but I just put that down to being together for 2 years.

    The break up came out of the blue and he moved out almost immediately. I was really shocked by it. I begged him and pleaded with him to come back and talk to me. He actually ended up blocking me after a month or so and I’ve been left here, feeling like complete shit.

    I feel broken by the experience and very alone. I feel like I’ve alienated myself from my friends and I’m sure they are done with my talking about him. They say I should move on. But I feel completely stuck.

    I have met with other guys, had a few dates, but nothing sticks because I keep thinking about him.

    Is it normal to not be over an ex after a year?

    Tomas


    Dear Tomas,

    I feel your pain. Breakups are never easy, whether you’re the breaker or the breakee and without a doubt, your ex did a horrible thing to you, by not explaining his actions. I really do feel that if you’re going to break up with someone, you have to be completely honest with them. I think it helps with closure.

    By not telling you, he’s still in control of you, because it’s led you, understandably down a path of fixation, wondering and abandonment and by blocking you, without engaging with your questions, he’s still controlling the narrative. Which you can, and will change.

    Let me say, it’s completely normal to not be over someone you’ve loved after any period of time and the time it takes for someone to get over an ex, will be different for everyone, you just have to trust that over time your pain will subside and there’s no schedule to follow.

    He has scarred you and scars stay with us for life, but will diminish slowly over time and fade, but if we’re wise we can use that scar to remind us that everything eventually heals and what you’re left with is fresh, new skin, which is stronger than what it replaced. Healing is truly remarkable, but you have to let it happen and stop picking at the scar, no matter how itchy or tempting it is to reveal the renewed skin underneath. You have to let the process happen and one day the scab will fall away.

    Dealing with heartbreak is just the same. Give yourself time, don’t beat yourself up and reach out to people and talk. If you think your friends have had enough ex chat then why not try an LGBT+ helpline like Switchboard.

    Have you got a dilemma you’d like answered? Check out our dilemmas page and let us know what’s going on.

  • HIV diagnoses in gay and bi men are at their lowest in 20 years

    HIV diagnoses in gay and bi men are at their lowest in 20 years

    The number of cases of new HIV diagnoses in gay and bisexual men has fallen by 80%, to its lowest point in 20 years.

    The new data, released today from Public Health England (PHE) shows that there were 1,700 new infections in 2019, down from a peak of 2,700 in 2011. However, the number of actual new infections, happening within the year was actually 540 – this is because people can live with HIV for some time without being aware of their status.

    Before 2019’s new low, the lowest point was in the year 2000, when there were 1500 new cases in gay and bi men.

    New cases in heterosexual people also hit a new low, of 1,600 – the lowest since 1998.

    While the proportion of people diagnosed late remained high at 42%, the overall number decreased from around 1,900 in 2015 to 1,300 in 2019.  People diagnosed late in 2019 had an eight-fold risk of death compared to those diagnosed promptly.

    Why has the decline happened?

    The decline in HIV transmission in gay and bisexual men can be directly linked to the increase in combination prevention, including the use of condoms, pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP), frequent HIV testing in a wide range of settings, and starting antiretroviral therapy (ART) as soon as possible after diagnosis.

    According to the PHE, treatment is now so effective that 97% of people receiving ART have undetectable levels of the virus which means it is impossible to pass the virus on, even if having sex without condoms. Undetectable = untransmittable (U=U)

    HIV Testing is vital

    HIV testing is vital for preventing HIV-related illness and death and to achieve the goal of ending HIV transmission in the UK by 2030. The UK continues to meet the United Nations Programme on HIV and AIDS (UNAIDS) 90-90-90 targets for the third consecutive year; however, there are opportunities to improve uptake of testing and support those testing positive to continue their treatment.

    Almost 300,000 people declined to have an HIV test when they attended a specialist sexual health service. Black African heterosexual women attendees were more likely to decline a test than Black African heterosexual men (20% vs 9% declined testing) but less likely than heterosexual women and men overall (25% vs 13%). More focussed conversations on HIV, testing, prevention and treatment in schools and clinical settings can help to combat high rates of declined tests.

    By comparison, only 4% of gay and bisexual men attending specialist sexual health services declined an HIV test; this is the group in which the greatest declines in HIV transmission have been achieved.

    Dr Valerie Delpech, Head of HIV Surveillance at Public Health England, said, “In the UK, we have made great progress towards eliminating HIV transmission by 2030. Frequent HIV testing, the offer of PrEP among those most at risk of HIV, together with prompt treatment among those diagnosed, remain key to ending HIV transmission by 2030.

    “Further progress can only be achieved if we also address the inequalities in reducing HIV transmission that exist around sexuality, ethnicity and geography.”

    How to stop HIV?

    The most common way of getting HIV in the UK is through sex with a person who is unaware of their HIV infection.

    You can protect yourself from HIV by consistent and correct condom use with new and casual partners, by using PrEP, or if your partner is on treatment and is undetectable if they are living with HIV. Correct and consistent condom use will also stop you getting or transmitting other STIs.

    People can get tested through free tests available from sexual health clinics, GP surgeries, as well as through a self-sampling service or by using a self-testing kit.

  • Dad asks the internet for advice after seeing his son kiss his “best friend”

    Dad asks the internet for advice after seeing his son kiss his “best friend”

    After seeing his son kiss another lad in town, one dad took to Reddit to ask on how he should speak to him about it.

    He laid out the situation like this,

    “I saw my son (16) kissing his “best friend”. I didn’t tell my wife because she will probably hate him because of it but how could I? I really love him he’s my son after all and I don’t mind him being gay.

    My question is how can I help him when he comes out and should I tell him to hold it back with his mom?”

    VIA

    Well, let’s just hold on a minute there as we refreeze our melted hearts. This guy might be up for dad of the year award.

    Never ones to fail, guys of the AskGayMen forum, did not hold back on their advice.

    Don’t confront…

    With one suggesting that the dad didn’t “confront him” and that the boy would “tell you when he’s ready… but maybe you can work it into a conversation that you’re okay with it”

    While another suggested that being subtle was everyone’s friend, “just be a lot more subtle than you initially think. It’s probably front and centre in his mind, so he will be very sensitive to the subject”.

    While another echoed. “If I were your son I wouldn’t want to be confronted (that’s just me tho) if I’m not ready to come out I don’t want others outing me, imo you should create a supportive environment and low-key and subtly let your son know that you are lgbtq+ supportive”.

    Confronting the homophobes

    man wearing eyeglasses making a toast
    Confronting homophobes and homophobia in a public setting was suggested by the commentators, to show that he was supportive of the gay community.
    Photo by fauxels on Pexels.com

    On the subject of his wife, one user suggested that the dad should “confront people who say homophobic things or at the very least say you disagree and explain your position. This will show your son that he doesn’t have to be afraid of talking about these kinds of things with you.”

    The dad replied, “I never said anything against it. But I’ll definitely do it the next time.”

    Total. Winner.

  • Gay Dating | What does DP mean?

    Gay Dating | What does DP mean?

    Decoding DP – if you see “DP” in someone’s dating or Grindr profile, here is what it means.

    Simply put it means Double Penetration.

    Yes, that’s two cocks up your bum. Not for the faint-hearted and probably only for a guy who is an experienced bottom.

    He’ll probably need quite a bit of prep time and a lot of warming up with a lot of foreplay. Remember not to rush the experience and take your time.

    Oh and with any kind of anal sex, don’t forget the lube, go for a long-lasting lube, like a silicone-based lube, which is less tacky than water-based lube and generally lasts much longer without drying out.

    Check out more gay dating terms.

  • FILM REVIEW | Oliver Sacks: His Own Life – A life well-lived

    FILM REVIEW | Oliver Sacks: His Own Life – A life well-lived

    Rating: 4 out of 5.

    The late Oliver Sacks was a very fascinating man. Learn more about him in the upcoming documentary Oliver Sacks: His Own Life.

    Sacks was not just a scientist and neurologist, he also wrote dozens and dozens of books including best sellers, was a master in his field, greatly respected, became a celebrity later in life, and he was also gay. 

    Sacks grew up in an upper-middle-class family in Cricklewood, London. Both his parents were doctors – so it was almost a natural that he’d be a doctor. But it wasn’t until his older brother Michael was diagnosed schizophrenic, an illness that affected the whole family but Oliver more so, that Sacks future was sealed. Going to medical school in Oxford, then to America where he took up residency in San Francisco is when his true self came out – a man with a motorbike dressed in head to toe leather. But while he was taking care of patients with severe neurological issues (stunning footage shows him with patients with neurological diseases and oddities) – Sacks never really found love or romance. His mother vehemently objected to his homosexuality but she also turned into a champion of his while he spent a summer writing a book at his childhood home. But her death affected him greatly, and after he turned 40 he remained celibate for the next 35 years. 

    Quite a bit of footage of Sacks is of him in his West Village apartment surrounded by staff, friends, etc. His personality comes through in these moments like a bright red sunset – with his charming laugh, unique British accent and sparkle in his eye that will win you over. He won Bill Hayes over – at age 75 Sacks and Hayes (20 years younger) remained together until Sacks death in 2015 at the age of 83. It’s a happy relationship to the end of an amazing life led by a man who changed medical science and at the same time opened our eyes to it. Director Ric Burns really captures the life and times of Sacks, especially of his final years of being with Hayes.

    Now playing on https://filmforum.org/virtual-cinema/ and https://kinomarquee.com

  • Gay guys share what their favourite part of sex is

    Gay guys share what their favourite part of sex is

    It can feel that sometimes that sex is just one act, but in reality, it’s a jigsaw of many (moving) parts. Some are more enjoyable than others, some need working at to become pleasurable and some, well, are the moments that really bond two (three or four we’re not judging!) people together.

    So recently, when Redditor guys talked about what part of sex they weren’t afraid to get down and dirty…

    *This article has frank and uncensored sex talk.

    Confirm you are over the age of 18 and to read the article click here.

    Pages: 1 2

  • Prince Azim who was outed as gay by Perez Hilton has died, 38

    The son of the Sultan of Brunei, who was outed as gay by Perez Hilton has died at the age of 38, with the cause of his death currently being reported as severe systemic vasculitis – an autoimmune disease, according to an Instagram post published by his younger brother Prince Mateen.

    The Prince was known for throwing lavish parties and hanging out with A-list celebrity friends, like Mariah Carey and Michael Jackson. He was the fourth in line to the throne in the Kingdom of Brunei.

    Embed from Getty Images

    The Prince’s death was announced last week and the government has called for a week of national mourning.

    It was reported that he had been in hospital for sometime and was being treated for liver cancer.

    Embed from Getty Images

    The Prince was outed as gay in April 2019, by Perez Hilton, which caused huge controversy, as homosexual acts are illegal and punishable by death in the Kingdom of Brunei.

    Speaking in a video to defend his actions, Perez Hilton explained his reasoning behind the decision to out the Prince saying, “Do you know the law? I have read the law. Before attacking me, read what the new law says”,

    He added that it is not illegal to be gay in Brunei, but illegal to have gay sex.

    Speaking about the Prince’s death, Perez said, “I am still in shock and trying to process this. I am struggling for words. Azim, your humor and generosity, and grace are what I will remember most. Thank you for the kind words you left me with about my children. I know how important your family was to you,” he wrote.

    He continued, “My deepest condolences to all of them, everyone in #Brunei, all your friends in London and beyond. Rest in power.” 

    Prince Azim has never publicly acknowledged his sexuality.