1. You have 206 bones in your body. Want one more?
It’s crude and it’s not even clever.
2. I’m calling the police because you stole my heart.
Really cheesy, to the point of being cringeworthy.
3. Are your pants a bit tight or are you just happy to see me?
Confidence is good, but cockiness (no pun intended) is not. The not-so-subtle subtext implies you’re just after one thing, which you probably won’t get using this line.
4. You know what would look good on you? Me.
Nobody wants to go out with somebody who has a bigger ego than themselves. This line screams that they are egotistical.
5. Do you come here often?
This line is too ambiguous. Depending upon where you meet, this could have all sorts of subtext. I once had a guy say this to me in the waiting room of a sexual health clinic. I walked on by and thankfully never saw him again.
My advice would be to avoid the one-liners altogether. Start the conversation with a simple ‘hi’ or ‘hey’ and stick to genuine compliments.
What’s the worst chat-up line anybody has ever said to you? Leave a comment below or on our Facebook page to let us know.
Why You Should Love Your Liver This January, 7 Amazing Foods To Boost Your Liver Function
It’s the New Year, and of course, everyone is talking about detoxing. Bottles of wine stashed in the vegetable drawer of the fridge are being replaced with, well, vegetables! We are dusting off our blenders, and juicing anything green. But what does the term detoxing actually mean? And can we really reverse the effects of our festive indulgences with a dry January?!
The good news is that our liver, the second largest organ (the first being the skin) and the detoxification hub of our bodies, is busy detoxifying all of the time. Even in December! The liver metabolises everything that we eat and are exposed to and detoxifies the entire body’s system from all ingested toxins.
Over the festive period, it is likely that our liver has had to work a little harder than usual, having been overburdened with alcohol, sugar and processed foods not usually consumed in such vast quantities! But we can be motivated by the fact that the liver is amazingly regenerative, and through diet, there is a lot we can do to help it. This essentially is what we are aiming to do when we “detox”, and there are certain foods that have powerful liver-boosting effects.
Top 7 foods to boost liver function
1) Cruciferous vegetables such as broccoli, cauliflower, cabbage and kale. These are all rich in sulphur-containing compounds, which help the liver to detoxify by boosting the production of high levels of detoxifying enzymes.
2) Garlic is rich in sulphur-containing compounds, and in addition, contains selenium and allicin- two powerful nutrients that help protect the liver from toxic damage.
3) Green tea is loaded with catechins, a type of antioxidant (compounds that help the body get rid of harmful free radicals) that have been shown in studies to promote liver function and prevent the accumulation of dangerous fat in the liver http://www.nature.com/ijo/journal/v26/n11/abs/0802141a.html.
4) Turmeric, the key component is curcumin, a potent antioxidant and anti-inflammatory that prevents the liver from damage and can help to regenerate new liver cells. Turmeric also helps to stimulate the production of bile, necessary for the breakdown and processing of fats and proteins from your food, and the removal of waste and toxins.
5) Bitter greens, such as dandelion, chicory and rocket. The bitterness of these foods helps to stimulate bile flow. They are also high in chlorophyll which plays a role in cleansing the blood and ridding the body of ingested toxins.
6) Beetroot is bursting with antioxidants and folic acid for detoxification. It also contains betaine, a compound which promotes the regeneration of liver cells.
7) Avocados are rich in glutathione, the ultimate liver-boosting antioxidant which prevents damage to the liver and aids detoxification.
It really cannot be emphasized enough; loving your liver is one of the most important things that you can do for your health this January.
As the spring theatre season starts to gather momentum, there are some great gay-themed plays in and around the UK. Here are four plays to keep an eye out for.
Everyone’s Talking About Jamie – Crucible Theatre, Sheffield.
Jamie New is sixteen. He’s from Sheffield. And he has a secret. He doesn’t quite fit in at school. His Dad’s left home. He’s about to sit his GCSEs. The future is terrifying. With his brilliant mum behind him, will Jamie be brave enough to stand up for who he really wants to be? A coming-of-age story with a twist, with catchy new songs by lead singer-songwriter of The Feeling Dan Gillespie Sells and writer Tom MacRae (Doctor Who), this brand new musical will have everybody talking about Jamie for years to come. Based on the BBC3 documentary, Jamie – Drag Queen at Sixteen, the world premiere of this new musical runs at Sheffield Theatres from the 9th – 25th February 2017. Visit www.sheffieldtheatres.co.uk for details and listen to the first song from the show below.
Written, in part, as a response to Tyson Fury’s comments that “there are only three things that need to be accomplished before the devil comes home and one of them is homosexuality being legal.”; this play tells the tale of The Gypsy King, a boxer who leaves his travelling community roots behind him to pursue his career. “Gorgeous” George O’Connell is taken on by a professional boxing coach, whose own son Dane ‘The Pain’ Samson is openly gay, and as they train together, George learn much more about himself that he ever thought he would. But Dane is fighting his own battles that lead to a tragedy that neither could predict. Set in the testosterone-fuelled world of boxing, this play looks at what happens in the traditionally masculine world of the sport when everything about someone’s culture and identity are confronted by their greatest fear. This play contains strong language, full frontal nudity and scenes of a sexual nature. Gypsy Queen plays at Doncaster CAST Theatre on the 12th April 2017 (www.castindoncaster.com ) and national tour.
La Cage Aux Folles – Leeds Grand Theatre and National Tour.
Photo Credit: PR Supplied by Leeds Grand Theatre
Georges is the manager of a Saint Tropez nightclub, his partner Albin is a drag artiste and the club’s star attraction. They live an idyllic existence in the south of France until Georges’ son Jean-Michel announces his engagement to the daughter of a notorious right-wing politician; a politician who is determined to close down the local colourful night-life. This lavishly funny tale follows the gay couple desperately trying to “play it straight” as the families meet; and celebrates unconditional love, family values and that life’s not worth a damn ‘till you can say I am what I am.’ Better known to many as “The Birdcage”, this 1983 classic musical is embarking on its first ever national tour, and stars John Partridge (Eastenders), and West End leading lady Marti Webb. La Cage Aux Folles is at Leeds Grand from the 20th to the 25th March 2017 (www.leedsgrandtheatre.com), as part of its current national tour (http://www.kenwright.com/microsite/la-cage-aux-folles/ )
Miss Meena and the Masala Queens – West Yorkshire Playhouse and National Tour.
Credit – PR Supplied
Dazzling saris, grand Bollywood lip-sync dance numbers and queues of adoring fans – for Miss Meena this is all now a distant memory. The once famous and fabulous drag queen has lost his sparkle and like his nightclub is washed up and out of date. The punters have gone and whilst the other drag queens are strutting their high-heels elsewhere, property developers are circling like vultures waiting for Miss Meena to give up the lease to the club. With the club on its knees, a new arrival brings a glittery rainbow of hope. But just as things are starting to look up for Miss Meena, a visitor from the past makes him question everything he ever stood for. This new production promised to be fun, vivacious and heart-warming. Ms Meena and the Masala Queens is at West Yorkshire Playhouse from the 13th to the 17th June 2017 (www.wyp.org.uk ) as part of its national tour. Visit http://rifcoarts.com/shows/miss-meena-the-masala-queens for details.
1. When Harrison Ford appeared as Indiana Jones and elevated archaeology to the sexiest profession known to man.
2. When the government passed Clause 28 of the Local Government Act 1988 which made it illegal for any Local Authority to “intentionally promote homosexuality or publish material with the intention of promoting homosexuality” or “promote the teaching in any maintained school of the acceptability of homosexuality as a pretended family relationship”. It was only repealed in 2003.
3. When Madonna arrived, and although her first single, “Holiday”, was released in 1983, it wasn’t until 1984, with her second album, Like A Virgin, that she really blew the gay boy’s minds, cavorting around in Venice and having diamonds thrown at her whilst dressed up like Marylyn. She has been a gay icon ever since.
4. When Colin and Barry had a kiss on Eastenders, making it the first UK soap opera to feature a gay kiss and sending the media into a frenzy with no more than a quick peck between the two men.
5. When Boy George appeared on Top of the Pops, causing fathers in their living rooms to tut in disgust, and school children to debate in schoolyards up and down the country the following day as to whether the singer was a boy or a girl.
6. When the “AIDS – Don’t Die of Ignorance” campaign meant that as the reality of AIDS took hold; the Government terrified everyone with their now infamous campaign. The “gay plague”, as it was called by the media, had started to hit home.
7. When Bronski Beat hit the charts with “Smalltown Boy”, about a young gay man running away from home to hide his sexuality, and gay musicians came onto the pop charts, including Erasure, Culture Club and Mark Almond.
8. When the New Romantic music movement meant that it was ok for guys to wear eyeliner, pixie boots and use a can of hairspray on their hair every night.
9. When the age of consent for the gay community was 21 years of age, whilst heterosexual couples could consent to sex at 16.
10. When Larry Grayson was the campest thing on Saturday evening television, with his innuendo-filled humour and his famous “shut that door” catchphrase.
11. When Princess Diana and Prince Charles got married; and there wasn’t a gay dry eye in the house. Even before she broke down prejudice by visiting HIV and AIDs patients (amongst her many other charitable causes), she was always adored by the gays.
12. When Stonewall was founded in 1989, which grew out of a small number of people, including Sir Ian McKellan, who had been campaigning against Clause 28. The green shoots of progress were starting to appear towards the end of the 1980’s and Stonewall’s arrival heralded a more public struggle.
13. When Friday night simply wouldn’t be complete without watching The Golden Girls. “Thank You For Being A Friend”, went the theme song, and Dorothy, Rose, Blanche and Sophia were friends to us all.
14. When Frankie Goes To Hollywood were banned from Top of the Pops and Radio One after releasing “Relax”. The band misbehaved themselves in a rather suggestive video to accompany the song, which got Radio One DJ Mike Reid all upset and Auntie Beeb’s knickers in a twist. The single shot to number one in the charts.
15. When after-school cartoons were full of hunks, whether it was He-Man flexing his muscles, Hank the blond haired, handsome ranger from Dungeons and Dragons or Jason from Battle of the Planets, there was always someone to swoon at.
16. When The Weather Girls gave us the ultimate weather forecast.
17. When John Walters out-gayed himself with his movie, Hairspray; bringing together Divine, Rikki Lake and Deborah Harry into one huge ball of campness and a film about those who don’t quite fit in.
18. When Scott and Charlene (aka Jason Donovan and Kylie Minogue) got married on Neighbours, doing so not only to the dulcet tones of Angry Anderson (not the most suitable name for a ballad singer) but to the delight of gays everywhere
19. When La Cage aux Folles opened on Broadway, and spawned the hit “I Am What I Am”, which got the gays feet moving when it became a huge disco hit (and gay anthem) after being released by Gloria Gaynor.
20. When Care Bears made the world just that little bit gayer.
Fawlty Towers is the greatest British sitcom of all time and Ab Fab gets a mention too – according to comedians.
Jennifer Saunders at the 2007 TCA Winter Press Tour. Ritz Carlton Huntington Hotel, Pasadena, CA. 01-11-07
Over 100 professional comedians and actors, including David Baddiel, Jenny Eclair, Reece Shearsmith and Alexei Sayle, were polled to find out their favourite sitcoms, moments and one-liners.
The John Cleese-starring classic comedy received the most votes in the best sitcom category – despite originally airing over 40 years ago and lasting for just 12 episodes.
While the favourite one-liner among comics is “Don’t tell him, Pike” from Dad’s Army as said by Captain Mainwaring to Pike when the young Private is asked his name by a German prisoner.
And the most popular scene is from I’m Alan Partridge and sees Alan meet his biggest fan – only to discover he has an unhealthy obsession with the radio DJ, including a room dedicated to him.
The research was commissioned by TV channel Gold to celebrate the launch of its first full series of We Have Been Watching
Comedy critic Bruce Dessau, who compiled the audit of comedians, said,
“We are well-known across the world for our ‘British sense of humour’, which is shown at its best in many of our best-loved and timeless comedy classics.
“The art of comedy is almost impossible to define, but many of these characters, lines and sitcoms are brilliant examples of the very best in the history of British TV comedy.”
Other favourite one-liners include Blackadder’s Lord Flashheart announcing: “I’ve got a plan, and it’s as hot as my pants” as he proposes running away with Kate.
And Tony Hancock, upon on learning how much blood he has to give during a blood donation, saying,
“A pint? Why that’s very nearly an armful!”
In addition to containing the best comedy scene, I’m Alan Partridge is the second most popular sitcom among comedians – with Blackadder in third, The Office in fourth and Father Ted in fifth.
Alan Partridge also overcame competition from Basil Fawlty, David Brent, Del Boy and The Young Ones’ Rick to be the named favourite male comedy character.
While Steve Coogan, who plays the radio DJ from Norwich, topped the list of favourite male comedy actors, followed by Rik Mayall, Ronnie Barker and John Cleese.
Joanna Lumley is the most popular female comedy actor among comedians – ahead of Caroline Aherne, Julia Davis, Penelope Keith and Victoria Wood.
Absolutely Fabulous duo Patsy Stone and Edina Monsoon came first and second in the favourite female comedy character category – beating The Royle Family’s Denise and Father Ted’s Mrs Doyle.
Bruce Dessau said,
“Many of the moments found in this poll can be enjoyed again in a fresh take on the new series We Have Been Watching, as some of the top comedy folk share their views on the funniest moments telly has to offer.”
We Have Been Watching is the first UKTV Original of 2017 for Gold, which celebrates its 25th birthday this year.
The channel will also exclusively premiere the brand new series, Henry IX, penned by Dick Clement and Ian La Frenais and starring Charles Edwards, Sally Phillips and Kara Tointon.
FAVOURITE BRITISH SITCOM (AS VOTED FOR BY COMEDIANS):
Fawlty Towers
I’m Alan Partridge
Blackadder
The Office
Father Ted
Peep Show
Only Fools and Horses
The Thick of It
Absolutely Fabulous
Porridge
FAVOURITE SCENE FROM A BRITISH TV COMEDY (AS VOTED FOR BY COMEDIANS):
Alan Partridge meets a super-fan who has a room dedicated to Alan Partridge (I’m Alan Partridge)
Tim and Dawn finally get together (The Office)
Basil Fawlty argues with the Germans, stressing “Don’t mention the war!” (Fawlty Towers)
“Don’t tell him Pike” scene with German prisoners. (Dad’s Army)
Del Boy falling through the bar (Only Fools and Horses)
Father Ted and the terrified priests stray into the lingerie department (Father Ted)
Mrs Richards complaining about her room to Basil Fawlty (Fawlty Towers)
The entrance of Lord Flashheart in Blackadder II (Blackadder)
Del Boy and Rodney running as Batman and Robin (Only Fools and Horses)
David Brent begging for his job as he gets fired (The Office)
FAVOURITE ONE-LINER FROM A BRITISH TV COMEDY (AS VOTED FOR BY COMEDIANS):
Captain Mainwaring to Pike, when Pike is asked his name by a German prisoner: “Don’t tell him Pike.” (Dad’s Army)
Tony Hancock on learning how much blood he has to give during a blood donation: “A pint? Why that’s very nearly an armful!” (Hancock’s Half Hour)
Father Ted explains to Father Dougal the concept of perspective: “These [toy cows] are small. But those [real cows] out there are far away. [Points to toy cow] Small… [Points to real cow] far away.” (Father Ted)
Manuel in response to Basil’s plea to confirm he placed a winning bet on a horse: “I know noth-ing.” (Fawlty Towers)
Alan Partridge pitches programme ideas to the BBC Commissioning Editor, Tony Hayers. After a string of no’s, he desperately puts forward his last programme idea: “Monkey Tennis?” (I’m Alan Partridge)
Patsy judging celebrities as she looks through magazines: “One more facelift on this one, and she’ll have a beard.” (Absolutely Fabulous)
David Brent on the effect of his management skills in the workplace: “I suppose I’ve created an atmosphere where I’m a friend first, and a boss second. Probably an entertainer third.” (The Office)
Alan Partridge explains who Wings are: “They’re only the band The Beatles could have been.” (I’m Alan Partridge)
Lord Flashheart proposes running away together to Kate: “I’ve got a plan, and it’s as hot as my pants.” (Blackadder)
Geraldine Granger introduces herself upon her arrival in Dibley as their new vicar: “You were expecting a bloke: beard, Bible and bad breath. Instead you’ve got a babe with a bob cut and a magnificent bosom.” (The Vicar of Dibley)
So the 19th series of Celebrity Big Brother has just launched. We thought we’d see which LGBT celebs have starred in the ever popular show.
Celebrity Big Brother 2017 | Channel 5
Generally speaking, LGBT celebs tend to do well in Celebrity Big Brother. There have been two openly gay winners, Rylan and Julian Clary. There have been three runners-up, Sue Perkins, Austin Armacost and Michael Barrymore. However, some LGBT celebs have caused controversy and were booted from the house, including Tila Tequila and Christopher Biggins. There have been two trans women to take part in the show.
There have been:
Lesbian 3
Bisexual 6
Gay 14
Trans 3
Honourary 1
Total 27
Series 2
Sue Perkins, came 2nd
Former Great British Bake Off presenter Sue Perkins wasn’t as famous back then as she is now. Series two of CBB was just ten days long and she managed to stay right till the last day but didn’t win the series. That honour went to former Take That singer Mark Owen.
Series 4
Jodie Marsh, first evicted.
Jodie Marsh who said she was bisexual after being celibate for 4 years didn’t fair well during her time on the show. She was the first evictee from the series. In an exclusive interview with THEGAYUK.com she told us that only gay porn gets her off now.
Michael Barrymore, came 2nd
His appearance in Series 4 of Celeb Big Bro was largely considered Michael Barrymore’s comeback to mainstream television following the death of a man at his home. He managed to spend 22 days in the house and was crowned runner up of the series.
Pete Burn, came 5th
By AndyCrazyTeen (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia CommonsPeter Burns came fifth the fourth series of Celebrity Big Brother. There were hopes he’d be invited back for the ‘All-Stars’ version of the show, but he died a few months before the start of the 17th series.
Series 5
Ian H Watkins, came 4th
Ian, or as many of our readers will know him as “H” from Steps, came out officially on the day he entered the house. He was in one of the most talked series ever, after a “race row” between a number of the housemates and Indian actor Shilpa Shetty. He eventually placed fourth.
Series 7
Alex Reid, winner
Alex, who has spoken about how he might consider himself transgender or a cross gender-dresser in 2015 managed to win the 7th series of the show. During her time in the Big Brother house ex-wife Katie Price talked about how much Alex liked butt play.
Series 9
Gareth Thomas, came third
Rugby’s first out player, Gareth Thomas, finished 3rd in the ninth series of Celebrity Big Brother.
Series 10
Jasmine Lennard, first evictee
CREDIT: Channel 5
Jasmine didn’t fair too well in the tenth series as she was the first celebrity to be booted from the show.
Julian Clary, winner
CREDIT: Channel 5
Julian won the hearts of the nation and was crowned king of the house.
Julie Goodyear MBE, came 7th
Coronation Street actor, Julie Goodyear, managed to stay the course for 22 days and was the seventh celeb to be evicted.
Series 11
Rylan Clark, winner
CREDIT: Channel 5
King of the presenters, Rylan Clark managed to win the 11th series just weeks after being booted from the X Factor.
Series 12
Louis Spence, came 7th
Louis managed to dance and prance his way through the 12th series of CBB placing 7th overall.
Lee went in a straight man, however, a sexual revelation during a conversation with some housemates made many viewers believe that he is bisexual. Even his fellow Blue bandmate, Duncan James tweeted that he thought he was the only “only bi/gay in the band”. Lee lasted 24 days in the house.
Ollie Locke, came 3rd
Ollie announced that he was bisexual before entering the house and admitted that he had never slept with a man. He has since come out as gay.
Series 14
Leslie Jordan, 2nd evictee
Will and Grace actor Leslie got more than he bargained for when he joined series 14. A few spats with Frenchy saw his best undies destroyed by the star.
Boybander Kavana, didn’t get much airtime in the 15th series thanks to huge personalities like Michelle Visage, Perez Hilton and Katie Hopkins.
Michelle Visage, came 5th
Okay, so Michelle Visage is an honorary member of the LGBT community. She did herself proud in the house and even managed to make Katie Hopkins seem approachable.
It didn’t take long for Austin to get naked in the BB house, in fact, it was just a couple of hours. He managed to bromance his way to the finals with James Hill.
Tila Tequila, ejected
The less said the better to be honest. She got kicked out when BB execs realised that she had written some offensive messages on social media.
Series 17
Christopher Maloney, came 8th
John Partridge, came 5th
Series 18
Christopher Biggins, ejected
CREDIT Channel 5
Poor Christopher Biggins didn’t last long in CBB after a number of offensive conversations, Biggins was booted off the show.
Marnie Simpson, came 4th
Bisexual star Marine Simpson fell in love with Lewis Bloor and his massive penis. Their love story was the stuff of true boredom.
Samantha Fox, came 7th
Claims of sexuality made during various times and by various news sources. If an assertion of sexuality or gender is wrong please email the newsdesk for correction.
Don’t suffer in silence. THEGAYUK Columnist Chris Bridges shares 5 ways to beat the bullies and how he dealt with the homophobes in his life.
CREDIT: Flynt-bigstock
1) Tell people about it
The worst bullying of all came from a sport’s teacher (clichéd, I know but people often do behave in a way so tediously true to the expected norm). The belittling comments and name calling during sports lessons set a precedent. If it was acceptable for a teacher to call me ‘the poofter’ in front of the class then it was acceptable for everyone, surely? The resolution came when he blacked my eye (accidentally) by throwing an icy cold football at my face with velocity whilst shouting some retro homophobic name at me. Cue a minor inquiry and a partial resolution of his nasty behaviour (it was the ‘80s, people could get away with more bad stuff than now). It’s easy to see, in retrospect, that I could have made it end a lot quicker had I spoken out sooner to maybe my parents or a sympathetic teacher. At the time this felt terrifying and impossible but I realise now that I didn’t deserve this and that whatever I did to speak out then the moron couldn’t hurt me any more than he already was doing.
2) There’s safety in numbers
Take comfort in your allies and if possible, befriend the like minded. I’d tell 12-year-old Chris that he has a great bunch of friends who actually seem to like him and will stand up for him. I made friends with two other gay teenagers and that was an incredibly lucky thing for me. I was lucky that they existed and we got on. We’d hang out together and to our surprise, it was harder to bully three people than one. My loyal female friends were a support too. There was a memorable incident when a boy tripped me over on the way home and my female friend punched him squarely on the jaw. He didn’t cross me again for fear of her firm left-hook. Naturally, I wouldn’t ever advocate violence but I really wish I’d known before that my group of friends were so willing to take no nonsense whilst I was prepared to take so much.
3) What they’re saying is rubbish
Just because you have a crush on the singer from Duran Duran and like a good show tune doesn’t make you inferior. Whatever names they might call you are utterly irrelevant. The opinion of someone who terrorises someone due to his or her sexuality really doesn’t count at all. It’s worth less than zero. In fact, it’s worth less than that even. It needs a whole scale of its own; it’s so beneath contempt.
4) Look for positive role models
Not so easy in the 1980s but this is a bit easier now, hopefully. Even back in the bad old days of leg warmers and The Kids from Fame, there were strong positive people to look up to. It was a revelation to me, at the age of 14, to discover gay literature. I devoured books by Edmund White and Felice Picano and took a keen interest in historical figures like Harvey Milk who had fought so strongly for the cause. Pop music gave me idols too and Andy Bell and Jimmy Somerville were strong and unashamedly gay figures. These people taught me more about humanity and strength than any meathead sports teacher or vile acting teenager with an axe to grind.
I also found comfort from a local gay youth group and the local gay switchboard. I was amazed that other people understood what the strife I was going through and that I wasn’t alone.
5) Remember: You really are a lot more fierce and fabulous than they’ll ever be
Nothing to say about this on except: fact!
This is just my advice to myself and doesn’t apply to everyone. Bullying is a hard thing to stand up to and to get through alone. If you are being bullied because of your sexuality or any other reason, whatever age you are, then please get some professional help and advice.
Here are some useful links:
http://www.nhs.uk/Livewell/Bullying/Pages/Homophobicbullying.aspx
http://www.standupfoundation.com/
The top 50 weirdest tasks that workers have been given to do at their jobs and it gets weird.
Peeling the pith from satsuma segments, stacking coat hangers and unknotting Christmas lights are amongst the most bizarre jobs Brits have been asked to do at work, according to new research.
A study of 2,000 workers across the country has revealed a top 50 list of the most unusual – and sometimes inappropriate – tasks assigned to employees.
This includes polishing cutlery with vinegar, shredding paper manually, removing hair from hairbrushes and dressing in a sandwich board in public.
Researchers found requests from the boss sometimes go from the sublime to the ridiculous – one unlucky respondent revealed they were asked to follow another member of staff who left work, as the boss suspected that rather than being ill, he was off to the pub.
Another, during their military career, was tasked with ironing ordnance survey maps simply so they would lie flat on the wall.
And a third was asked to work overtime to allow another colleague to nip home and make love – as his partner was at the fertile point in her month.
Jeremy Hulme, Chief Executive of working animal charity SPANA, which conducted the study, said,
“It’s surprising to see just how many British workers are routinely expected to carry out tasks that are a long way from their job description and that they didn’t sign up for. Many bosses seem comfortable asking their staff to perform duties that are bizarre and beyond the call of duty.
“However, although having to fulfil menial or unusual tasks can be a frustrating part of working life in the UK, these problems seem very minor compared to the tough working conditions endured every day by working animals in developing countries. These animals work long hours, often carrying back-breaking loads, with no holidays, retirement or sick days.”
A number of people surveyed have been asked to clean the toilets or sweep the floors at work, which were widely seen as unreasonable and unexpected requests in non-cleaning roles.
The study revealed one unfortunate respondent was asked to clean her boss’ house as his wife had left him, and his sister was coming to visit.
Another was asked to babysit a colleague’s children while continuing with their normal workload, while one ‘kind’ boss asked two staff members to dress up as the Easter bunny and deliver Easter eggs to all the other workers.
Dressing up as a cyber dog for the local library and dressing up as a tomato to hand out leaflets were low points for other respondents.
But some of the weird tasks British workers are asked to carry out are surprisingly common – as the top 50 list reveals.
Feeding animals, separating security pins from tags and typing phone contacts into spreadsheets feature highly on the list of unusual jobs.
Playing computer games, cuddling someone and planning weddings are some of the nicer tasks to feature in the list.
While removing poo from swimming pools, cleaning up road kill and cleaning toilets are among the more unsavoury jobs.
One in 10 people say they currently work in a job where they are asked to carry out bizarre tasks – which include parading around in underwear, watching people sleep and creating sugar cube castles.
But 13 per cent of employees have been so disgruntled about the work they were being asked to do, as the tasks were too far removed from their job description, they’ve left the job.
Jeremy Hulme continues,
“The good news is that the majority of people do have a choice, and if a job becomes too inappropriate, difficult or stressful, they can often leave or do something about it.
“That’s the difference between working people in Britain and working animals abroad, which have no choice. We need to support these working horses, donkeys, camels and other animals to improve their conditions and ensure they have the vet care they need when they are sick or injured.”
TOP 50 UNEXPECTED TASKS
Sweep the floors
Cleaning toilets
Clearing up rubbish
Feeding animals
Unknotting Christmas lights
Cuddle someone
Type phone contacts into a spreadsheet
Removing hair from hairbrushes
Stack books
Play computer games
Pack and stack boxes
Erecting fences
Wash people’s hair
Plan a wedding
Soak and peel the labels off bottles
Cut pre-made sandwiches into triangles
Peel the pith from satsuma segments
Shredding paper manually due to a broken-down shredder
Polish cutlery with vinegar
Hand grating massive bowls of cheese
Attaching security tags / labels to products
Teach English to foreign colleagues
Remove stitches
Taste testing
Separating security pins from tags
Dressing up as a cartoon character
Stacking coat hangers
Dust books with a paintbrush
Dress in a sandwich board in public
Wear fake tan and wax chest
Wear revealing or indecent clothes to model in
Packing fish
Do all the boss’s Christmas shopping
Cleaning the top of changing room mirrors
Stuff crackers
Colour separate skittles / sweets
Being a Sports mascot
Remove poo from swimming pools
Cleaning up road kill
Post false good comments about the company online
Fire someone, even though it wasn’t your place to do so
Fill donuts with jam
Chopping the heads off kippers
Write Christmas card jokes
Eat dog food
Delete all emails and files from the boss’s computer
Pose as a member of the opposite sex for the day
Spy on senior management
Buy underwear for the boss’s wife
Stand in a line pretending to queue for the sales
Lately, there’s been a boom in music from LGBT artists and as acceptance of gay people grows and grows worldwide we look to see who are the names you need to be looking out for in 2017.
CREDIT: Kenny Rials
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Kenny Rials
Broadway star (yes he starred in Hedwig And The Angry Inch) turned recording artist, Louisiana native, turned full-on Brit, Kenny Rials (photo above) has a brand new album out called Second Chances, which is a follow-up to his debut EP, Time Doesn’t Stand Still, which featured the club smash “Not Yet, Someday”. Kenny is a strong advocate for anti-bullying and his latest album contains the self-penned anti-bullying anthem, “It Never Rains Forever”. Speaking about his experience with bullying the star revealed, “I kept my head down and tried to be invisible. In my lyrics, I ask those still being tormented to please hold on, it will be our time to shine soon”. He’ll be touring the UK and USA in 2017 check out date and more info at his website.
Adam Lambert
Adam released a brand new song “Welcome To The Show” in July which amassed over 8 million streams on Spotify and nearly 2 million views on YouTube. Well, it hints that perhaps there will be a new album for 2017. His last album The Original High was released in 2015 so it’s about time there was a new one.
Sam Smith
CREDIT: kathclick / bigstock
Surprisingly Sam Smith, despite his huge worldwide success, has actually only released one album and okay it is a whopper having shipped over 6.5 million units, but that was in 2014. So will Sam be releasing new music in 2017? The star revealed that he was going deeper than ever for the next one, saying, “Every day I’m having little epiphanies and changes and loving it. But all I can say is that I’m putting my heart even more out on the (expletive) line. I’m going even deeper. I can’t believe I’m even doing it, but I’m going even deeper.”
Steve Grand
CREDIT: Steve Grand / Instagram
Steve Grand is as famous for his shirtless crowdfunding of albums as he is for his actual music. His last album All American Boy was in 2015 so 2017 could be the year for new music from the star, which he hinted at could be on the way soon with the release of a duet, “Look Away” released in March. Bring it on Stevie.
Joe McElderry
Credit Mark Yeoman
Joe’s recorded music career has been quiet of late, having not released anything since 2012’s Here’s What I Believe which reached number 8 in the UK. Joe will be back on the road with Joseph And The Technicolour Dreamcoat in January. There are dates planned for Northern Ireland, England, Scotland and Wales.
Danyl Johnson
CREDIT: Monty McKinnen / THEGAYUK
Danyl has been working on some new music and you should expect more music in 2017. Speaking to THEGAYUK earlier in the year Danyl revealed since his time on the X Factor that he had travelled to Nashville, USA, to work on material with some great, talented songwriters.
Sponsored by Kenny Rials. Produced by THEGAYUK editorial team.
This is a regular subject matter for gay films these days and we have chosen these 10 from right across the spectrum.
CREDIT: Edge of Seventeen / YouTube
BEGINNERS
Christopher Plummer’s Oscar-winning turn as newly widowed 75-year-old Hal who declares to Oliver his son (Ewan McGregor) that he is now gay and is determined to make the most of the time he has left. Sweet and very funny.
This sentimental story set in small town America in 1984 teaches High School student Eric that love and sex are not the same things and he almost goes back into the closet. Great period piece, well acted and a neat happy ending.
A heartstring-tugging story of forbidden love between an Israeli and a Palestinian in Tel Aviv where the latter risks his life if he comes out to his family. It’s all the more remarkable that after all the horrors the pair goes through, that the overwhelming feeling that one comes away with from this film, is of hope.
A remarkable and unpredictable drama that deals with a repressed Polish Catholic priest’s personal struggle with his homosexuality. Brave, controversial and extremely moving: it worn a prestigious Teddy Award for best LGBT film at Berlinale.
Bram a good looking Belgian/Turkish 20-year-old gets thrown out of his family home in Antwerp when he comes out, although his father is happy to house his other sons who are crooks, which is far better than being gay. An intelligent drama that becomes an entertaining romance.
Nick, the youngest son of a wealthy Chinese/American family tries to put the pieces together of his older brother’s life after he was tragically killed in a car crash and discovers that he had wanted to ‘come out’ to him before he had died. Very endearing.
In this hot and steamy German tale, one straight trainee policeman discovers that probably shouldn’t be getting married to his pregnant girlfriend after all, when he has a very physical relationship with one of his colleagues. Very well written, and beautifully acted.
This coming-of-age story tells of two teenage girls, who are best friends, dealing with all the restrictions of growing up in Iran today. The girls are exploring their emerging sexuality as they become part of Tehran’s underground party scene. Superb, if not scary, look at some of the conflicts and struggles in contemporary Iran.
From 1996 this wonderful British film version of Jonathan Harvey’s hit play about two gay teenagers finding themselves and each other in a Council Estate in London.
An award-winning Brazilian film about a blind school boy and his virginal innocent friend who are slow to realise their feelings for each other. Tender, with some neat touches of humour … We predict that you will so fall in love with this one when you see it.
