Channel 4 might be doing STI clinics a disservice when it comes to patient fears about what might happen to them when they go in for a sexual health checkup on their show, The Sex Clinic.
Although The Sex Clinic is widely praised for the work that it does in educating us all about the importance of testing for sexually transmitted infections, there’s one thing that it shows, that isn’t quite right.
We know we say this every week but: The penis swabs used on #TheSexClinic are NOT standard practice for routine STI screening in UK sexual health clinics. Usually, we just ask for a urine sample. The swabs are used on the show to give rapid results to fit the TV show format.
So there you go, don’t fret. Go for a check-up. If you’re there for a regular and routine check-up it’s very unlikely you’ll have to even show the doctor or nurse your dick.
Apparently your cup of coffee in the morning could help keep you alert, in more ways than one.
CREDIT: Pixabay
A few years ago researchers from the University of Texas Health Science Center in Houston, USA, found that men over the age of 20 who consumed the caffeine equivalent of 2 to 3 cups of coffee a day were less likely to report erectile dysfunction.
The co-author of the study, Dr Run Wang said, that caffeine had properties “similar to ED drugs like Viagra”.
However, it was noted that wouldn’t fix erection problems with men who have diabetes.
So why?
Well according to Dr Wang, caffeine triggers “a series of effects that cause the arteries in your penis to relax” which means that the blood flow to your penis increases – which is Dr Wang notes is “key to a strong erection”.
So start your morning with a glorious cup of coffee.
Of course if you are concerned with the way in which your penis does (or doesn’t work) book an appointment with your GP!
A reader asks what are the options for making his penis bigger
Dear AG,
I wondered if it was possible to make my dick bigger, I’ve seen lots of advertisement for pills and various techniques and wondered if any of them actually worked?
Steve
Dear Steve,
For hundreds of years if not millennia, guys have been worried about the size of their manhoods, but there’s so much misinformation out there, that it’s actually hard to know what the truth about penis and size actually is.
In reality, they come (no pun) in all shapes, sizes and indeed colours. First of you should know that here in Britain the average size of an erect penis is… 5.5 inches – which is apparently also the average global average of an erect penis.
So you might actually be well within the average or bigger than you actually think.
So now, down to your question can you make it bigger?
Well yes, there are ways to make it bigger – however, only one is medically proven to actually increase the size of your manhood.
Surgery. You can get your penis lengthened with surgery, however, the cost, which can go up to around £7000 might be a bit prohibitive. The length and girth you’ll actually achieve with this method will be around a 1 to an inch and half for length and girth
Jelqing. This apparent, ancient practice of basically pulling and massaging (not masturbating) your semi-erect penis for what can amount to hours can, and has, an ex has assured me worked – but it’s time-consuming and it’s not been clinically proven.
Pumps. There are numerous vacuum pumps which can in the short term grow the size of your penis. However the side effects are not permanent – and you’ll have to wear a cock ring once you’ve finished pumping to keep the blood inside the penis.
Hanging weights off it. If you’re in for the long haul then hanging weights from your dangly bits may (I’m stressing MAY) make your penis longer, although it could take months if not years of persistence. However, I’d have to advise caution as you could cause long term damage to yourself.
Really easy ways to make your cock look bigger!
(C) BIGSTOCK
Changing the surroundings. Did you know by a careful trim of the pubic area can actually make your dong look bigger. The less hair around the base will give you an extra half inch…
Losing weight can also help. Some guys, as they put on weight can put it on in their pubic area – also known as the FUPA (Fat Upper Pubic Area).
There’s an old adage that for every stone you lose you gain an inch down there – well technically that could be true – depending on the size of your FUPA. It could be actually hiding the first inch or two of your penis.
Whatever you do, don’t believe the hype that any pill can increase the size of your penis.
This week, a reader asks what positions are best for bottoming when your partner’s penis has a downward curve to it.
DEAR TGUK,
Hi, my boyfriend has a major downward curve in his penis, like a banana. He’s had it forever. It’s also big 6-7” long and a 6-7 girth.
I’m crazy about him but it’s difficult to bottom.
We can only really get it in when we doggy with my ass up, or laying on my back if he picked up my waist.
When On my back I can’t really feel anything.
Can you recommend some positions that are suitable?
Many guys have curved penises, although typically the curve is upwards or to the side, a downward curve is still, however, completely normal.
However, you will need to try out different positions to make penetrative sex work for both of you.
The reason why you say you’re not feeling anything when you’re on your back is that your prostate, the gland that makes bottoming irresistible to some, is on the inner side of your rectum wall. If your partner’s dick is straight or curves upwards, the standard missionary position means that the shape naturally rubs up against the prostate which is packed full of nerve endings. If your boyfriend’s dick is probing the other way, in this position he’ll be missing all the feel-good points.
This means if you reverse positions they may actually feel better for you.
Many guys find there’s a certain amount of flexibility when it comes to their erections, however, it’s important not to force the erect penis into any position which is uncomfortable, because you can actually snap an erect penis!
Reverse cowboy
With you sitting and straddling his lap, but facing away from his face, so your torso is pointing towards his feet. Your feet can go behind you or in front, whichever is more comfortable,
This position can work with him lying on the bed or sitting in a chair.
Reverse low cowboy
The top lies on his back, the bottom straddles on top with his head and torso pointing towards his partner’s feet. His ass points towards his partner’s head, with hips pointing slightly down. This way will give your top an amazing view of his dick entering you. Bonus!
Reverse Doggy
You are in the normal doggy position, with your butt in the air, but your top enters from above, crouching above you, with his feet either side of your hips, facing back. He then dips his dick in your ass.
Reverse sleeper
The bottom lies on his front and the top lies on top of him but with his feet near the bottom’s head.
So face to face positions might work as long as you can tip your hips in a way that will help his penis make contact with your g-spot.
The great thing is that you have all the time in the world to experiment and take time to find out what feels great for the both of you. Have fun together.
A man who has had a permanent erection for over a week now has a crowd funder.
A gay man who has a permanent erection after having a drug injected into his penis by a one night stand, hook up, who happened to be nurse, has had a crowd funder created for him by two friends, to help create awareness of his condition, which is called Priapism.
Danny checked in a hospital when his erection wouldn’t subside. According to reports, he took a viagra before going clubbing but ended up hooking up with a nurse who then injected his penis was an “erection enhancer” he told Pink News.
His condition has left him “screaming in pain” and could suffer from permanent damage to his dick. Doctors have given the odds of around 50 per cent that he’ll ever be able to have an erection again.
“he lost a lot of blood and may have been close to death”
Medical professionals have tried numerous ways to calm his erection including blood-thinning drugs.
Two friends of Danny, Paul Jones and Mariana Ungaretti have organised a fundraiser for him, writing,
“Danny has been suffering with a potentially life-threatening priapism for more than 10 days.
He has been in a lot of pain, last week he lost a lot of blood and may have been close to death. He is being brave, focused and is a survivor! But however positive he’s trying to be, he’s also traumatised and often crying with extreme stress and anxiety.
“Some days he’s been in so much pain, that he has blacked out / fallen unconscious, even with strong pain relief.
“His aim is to raise awareness about Priapism; A misunderstood, painful and dangerous condition that is affecting the gay/queer community increasingly more each year”.
Ouch.
The fundraiser is aiming to reach 5000 Euros, and is created just under €1000. If you’d like to donate, click here.
YouTubers, BriaAndChrissy decided to get some self-identifying straight guys to touch another man’s penis and the results may surprise you.
CREDIT: BriaAndChrissy / YouTube
The video, which was posted a few years ago now was an experiment to see what self-identifying straight guys felt when they touched another man’s penis.
One of the guys even went as far as to say it was a “beautiful experience”. Another, whose identity remained secret (his bosses threatened him with the sack if his face appeared in the video), said that it “didn’t turn him on”, but “didn’t turn him off either”.
CREDIT: BriaAndChrissy / YouTube
Aleks happens to be that man who’s penis gets all the attention…and it appears as though he’s got a sizeable asset! Check out the comments in the video.
Don’t forget to leave your comments in the box below.
If you watch a lot of porn you’ll be forgiven for thinking that man is equipped with just two sizes of dick. Big and bigger. But actually the majority of penis owners aren’t that well endowed. The average size of most men in the UK, full mast, is 5.5 inches according to Mandatory.com. So take heart, even if yours doesn’t reach 5 inches there are reasons why, whatever you have, is pretty damn good.
1) Firstly having a smaller dick means that hiding an unwanted erection is much easier
CREDIT: wernerimages / bigstock
So if you happen to be in an awkward situation and you pop a boner you can quite happily enjoy the knowledge that your rager will be much easier to hide than a monster cock. Simply slide that peen up towards your belly and no one will ever know! Brilliant.
2) You won’t damage the person you’re having intercourse with…
You’re less likely to damage your bottom. Smaller dicks are less likely to create anal fissures and less likely to cause small tears and will probably need a lot less warming up, although don’t read that as a “just go for it” you’ll still need to do a bit of foreplay and you’ll always need lube.
3) Not just anal, but actually oral will be easier.
BIGSTOCK
Apparently. After hearing that this guy actually ruptured his throat while giving a blowie to a 10 incher and ended up in A&E maybe it’s time to realise less is more.
4) Hit the spot
(C) BIGSTOCK
You’ll actually be able to rub all the right bits with your hammer action! The male G-spot will be tickled pink with a smaller than average appendage. The G-spot is only a couple inches inside a man, so any more than that I really a waste – or for show offs!
5) Anal sex will be less painful
Again we refer to point three. If you want tips on how to find bottoming easier check out our top tips. Plus you won’t be going all the way up to the internal sphincter, which can be an unpleasant feeling for some bottoms.
6) You won’t be used because of your penis size
CREDIT: Depositphotos
Yep, there’s such thing as people who who fetishize big dicks and don’t neccessarily respect the person attached to the big penis. There’s an actual forum called Big Dick Problems – yes guys who have penises that are too large they have their own forum. It has over 50 million members (no pun intended).
Yes, if you ever sit down to pee, or even when you’re pooping if you have a smaller penis, or a grower not a shower, your penis won’t touch the inside of the dirty toilet bowl. Yup!
Whatever your size is, don’t worry about it. We all come in all different shapes and sizes. It’s about who the dick’s attached to not the nob itself.
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If you’re wondering why your penis seems to be shrinking, apparently, it’s probably because of your FUPA.
We have a lot of data about the size of men’s penises, we even know where the UK fits in compared to the rest of the world, however penis size from 60 years ago is near impossible to obtain, so finding out whether our penises are getting smaller as we age, is difficult to compare to previous generations of men.
However, it is suggested that perhaps because we are living longer up to 30 years longer, (one in three of us now lives past the age of 100), and are weighing a lot more than we used to.
What the hell is a FUPA?
This means that as we get older unless we retain good health and a flat tummy, our penises could be shrouded in fat. Above the penis where your pubic hair grows, there is what some people call a fat pad. Some call it the FUPA (Fat Upper Pubic Area).
There’s an old adage that for every stone you lose you gain an inch down there – well technically that could be true – depending on the size of your FUPA. It could be actually hiding the first inch or two of your penis.
An article by Doctor Phil Hammond for the Telegraph has suggested that perhaps our manhoods are getting smaller because of our bellies.
“A big belly makes your penis look smaller, and if you can’t see it at all when you look down you need to get a grip quickly. You’re at high risk of type two diabetes and arterial disease, which can also affect the frequency and firmness of your erections.
“The bottom line is that a good erection is a sign of good physical and mental health, but for most women, your smile and smell are far more important than actual size.”
Cosmeticare.com suggests that there are numerous ways to help you rid yourself of the FUPA, including: reducing your stress levels, getting a better diet – rich in fruit and whole grains, anti-inflammatory foods such as watery veg, but also cosmetic procedures including freezing your fat or liposuction.
Can exercise help?
(C) BIGSTOCK
There’s always exercise as well, GayFitnessUK.com suggests a range of ideas to help you shed body fat, adding, “Cutting body fat can be difficult, and staying on a healthy nutritious diet can be tough and at times de-motivating. Allow yourself treats every now and then, but try and stick to your healthy diet and workout plan at least 90% of the time. And once you reach your goal, don’t fall back to old habits. It’s better to stay on the nutritious path you’ve carved out for yourself in order to keep the results!”
Some of our favourite celebrities have named their Johnsons – or had them named by fans…
CREDIT: Denis Makarenko / bigstock
It’s not unusual for guys to give their penises names, but some of these names are just plain unsexy… Channing Tatum, we’re looking at you doll. Now, most guys probably just plump for a run of the mill name, with “little” in front, but some have gone for dessert names, infamous racists and one has gone for the world’s largest mammal. The mind boggles.
Love Island’s Marcel revealed the name of his peen to girlfriend Gabby Allen when he apparently waved it to her in the bedroom and introduced her to Rocky B.
During the candid interview of sorts, one excited fan asked, “Does your penis have a nickname?” To which the Magic Mike star replied, “Gilbert”.
Justin Bieber
It wasn’t Justin who came up with this name, but his fans. Apparently, they named him Jerry, the singer told The Sunday Times Magazine, “The fans named my penis ‘Jerry’, which is funny.”
Hunk Hugh explained on Jay Leno’s Tonight Show, “I don’t know why I call him Old James Roger, but that’s what I call him. They always seem old to me. Even from a young age, they look old. You know what I mean?”
Harry Styles
Tinie Tempah. Hummm… Supposedly, it’s “’cos it makes girls pass out…” make of that what you will.
Jackass stuntman Steve-O has a rather respectable name for his cock. It calls it Julius, which he’s done since he was a teenager – according to Playboy.
Some celebs give them names, some talk about their size, some, like Michael Buble, give a vivid mental image of what they look like. Buble was joining James Corden for a Carpool Karaoke when the Canadian crooner shared what he thought his penis looked like when it was a little heavier.
For those of you who don’t know Buble has lost a little weight recently and Corden remarked how great the singer was looking to which Buble replied, “There’s a fat Buble, a chinny Buble and then there’s a ‘Hey, I’ve got a record coming out maybe I should stop eating those Slurpees. I don’t care how I look I got a beautiful woman who loves me.’”
This is when Buble managed to create the everlasting image of what his dick looked like when he was fatter. He said, “I feel like when you’re smaller your penis looks bigger. Because when you’re bigger like that it looks like a buoy sitting in the middle of an ocean.”
Not every sexual encounter needs to end up in P in A or even a blowjob, behold the simple handjob.
(C) BIGSTOCK
It’s super quick and easy, and what’s more, you really don’t need any preparation to give each other a handy shandy. What’s more, it’s one of the safest forms of sexual activity.
Technique. What feels good to you, might not feel good to the other person. So listen for signs that it’s all going well. If in doubt ask. You don’t have to be silent during sex.
(C) BIGSTOCK
Position. You know what, jerking someone else off can be a tiring experience, especially if they take a while to climax. So if you’re lying side by side, make sure the person receiving is on your dominant side, so right-hand side if you’re right-handed, or left-hand side if you’re left-handed. But why not forgo the side by side action and slip in behind them and reach around to their front. This position can be done standing, sitting or kneeling behind the person. To add a little more intensity add a bit of reach around kissing. Hot AF.
Face to Face. To add extra intensity, stand, knee or sit face to face and look into each other’s eyes as you beat the jerky. Having a front view can give you all the telltale signs that someone’s close to orgasm and you get to look at goodies. Win-win really.
Out and about? Half the fun is that the handjob can take place almost anywhere. Now we’re not advocating anything illegal, but maybe a surprise handjob the next time you’re out for a ramble on the moors – might just be the ticket.
(C) BIGSTOCK
Double-handed. This goes hand in hand with technique really. Placing both hands over someone’s genitals can add double the pleasure and give a different feeling to the fist on helmet action. Plus if the person you’re with has bollocks, then cradle those bad boys, and give ’em a stroke.
Change the routine You know, not every handjob has to be a fist around a cock. Have you tried simple head rubbing? Take your thumb and rub in circular motions on the back of the head of the penis (not on the helmet). It’s a great way of slowing things down and changing the tempo. He’ll be squirming with joy.
Different equipment requires different technique. If your subject hasn’t got a foreskin, or the foreskin happens to go right back when he’s erect, you’ll need to adjust your technique. Spit can make for a makeshift lube if you’re out and about, but it’s probably good to make sure there’s lube nearby.
While we’re on the subject of lube, why not true some warming lube or tingling lube for extra sensations. It’s not for everyone, but worth a punt.
Here’s the rub, you’re probably never going to be as good at giving a handjob as the person receiving does it to themselves, after all, they’ve probably been practising on themselves forever. So give yourself a break – and just enjoy the intimacy the interaction can create.
Have you got tips? Use the comments below to let us know what your favourite technique is.
