Category: Love And Sex

Have you ever wanted to try breath control in the bedroom, but not sure how to start?

Some guys are into breath control when it comes to the bedroom. While someone in the dom position, the guy who is controlling the breath of someone else, might feel up to the task, it might leave others feeling a little bit uneasy, because of the inherent risks attached to stopping someone from breathing freely.

Breath control is a major fantasy for some guys and is part of the kink world. It can come in a wide variety of guises from a full-on throat throttle to putting a gag in someone’s mouth. However getting the right pressure, the timing, permissions and the context are really important. After all, you really don’t want to be left with an unresponsive guy in your bed and a trip to A&E.

Obviously it’s always good practice to have a safe or control word for the sub to use, but if your play covers the mouth, it can be difficult to hear, so it’s important to establish a visible signal as well. This should always be discussed upfront, before play starts, as our columnist Scott points out in his article about The Rules of Rough Sex.

However, what if the person being restrained actually had the overriding say over how much they can handle, while still playing with breath control.

So simple anyone can try

It’s really easy to achieve and all you need is a breathing tube and a bathtub.

Before we go on, we have to thank Himeros.TV for the idea, because in one of their latest videos, “Baptisma”, featuring JP Dubois, they tackle the very issue of consensual breath control.

Essentially, you fill the tub with water and the sub (the controlled) slides beneath the water’s surface. A breathing tube is then placed in his mouth so he can breathe underwater.

The dom sits outside the tub and holds the tube and when he wants to control the breath he puts his thumb over the tube’s entrance, effectively blocking the airway. The dom then can play with lengths of time that the airway is blocked – for added sensory deprivation the sub can close his eyes, so he’s never aware of when the next blockage is going to happen.

All the while the two of you can masturbate or just enjoy the experience. In terms of COVID-secure or safer sex practice, this is one of the more safer ways to enjoy BDSM or kink.

The sub always retains control

What’s great about this position is that if at anytime sub needs to breathe or feels overwhelmed he can simple lift his head out of the water.

However, it would be wise to do this bathtime play with someone you trust and not some completely random stranger that you’ve never met before. To read our tips on meeting and chatting safely with strangers click here.

Get your subscription to Himeros.tv now.

16th September 2020
10 things gay men love to hate about dating apps

Dating apps like Grindr are basically an integral part of the gay dating world. It’s the source we love to hate when looking for a hookup or love online.

Hello hello hello… hi hi hi.

Dear god man, take the hint stop message me I don’t want to talk.

Torso is the window to your stomach

(C) BIGSTOCK

Look if you can’t show your face, I have to question whether I can be seen with you. Come on, it’s 2020 come out and show your face.

Otter looking for love

I’m an Otter looking for a bear… I’m a Chicken looking for a pug… On some dating apps you might feel like you’re in Animal Farm, or being put in a tiny box defined by the amount of body hair you have.

3 ft away.

This man is currently behind you, wearing a mask and asking whether you like scary movies. Honestly though I love seeing how far away I can run away from you…

Call Me Maybe Not

Those pesky pesky men who say they’re up for a relationship and then refuse to call… Those shady shady rag stains.

Fancy a shag?

Apps are an amazing way to get your end away and quickly…

Trades Descriptions.

That photo you’ve been using for the last 50 years is not fooling anyone.

Time Goes By So Slowly…

Often gay dating apps go on photo browsing alone and it can be so time-consuming as you scroll through 100s of men. A bit like the Tupperware catalogue, but with more plastic. Wouldn’t it be better for the app to work out who is going to be a good fit before showing you a bunch of people?

Better Leave Right Now.

Whatever happened to being able to just chat with someone and get to know him? Bring back the days of getting to know someone over hours of chats where you find out people are more like onions with layers rather than just bananas.

Premium.

Nobody is impressed with the fact that you have a premium account; in fact we’re actually thinking “you tosser”.

This article was originally published in Nov 2015

10th September 2020
Can exercise help with erection problems?

Seems like a valid question right? We posted an article recently about the exercises that can help you to last longer in bed (aka Sexercises), but probably the most important thing to an all-nighter is the ability of your penis to maintain its erection for several hours.

Now without giggling, let’s look at some of the research and theories that suggest that a stallion-strength boner could be yours with just a little bit of exercise worked into your weekly routine.

Hopping on the treadmill isn’t likely to have the same effect on your johnson as popping a viagra. However, it’s often helpful in preventing many types of erectile dysfunction (ED) from developing. And more than that, the strength of a man’s erection-his hardness-is the true barometer of his overall health.

1. Improve circulation = improve erections

So according to the science, when a man becomes aroused, the brain sends signals to your junk that leads to the relaxation of smooth muscles with blood vessel walls in the penis. This allows for increased blood inflow inside the erectile tissues of the penis. Blood then fills two “inflatable” chambers inside the shaft known as corpora cavernosa. And there you have it, instant boner.

So it stands to reason that better circulation leads to a stronger and even larger erect penis (in terms of length and girth). This is why when men have heart problems and poor circulation they tend to suffer from ED as well.

Cardio, and exercise in general, causes the blood vessels to dilate and capillaries to open so that blood can flow more effectively, moving to where it needs to be, including your genitals.

They’ll even have improved circulation even when your body is at rest. Fun side-note: the increased blood flow to the skin brings with it the extra benefit of greater sensitivity.

Win-win!

2. Psychological health

Free-Photos / Pixabay

Exercise is well documented at elevating your mood. The release of endorphins during exercise is often connected with an improvement in a sense of wellbeing, often increasing your libido as well as a result.

Tackling some of the underlying issues such as low self-esteem and body image can help prevent forms of sexual dysfunction developing.

3. NEVER skip leg day

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

You’ll have heard that you should never skip leg day. As some of the biggest muscles in your body, training your legs burns calories, releases hormones to help your other muscles grow, and can help relax and expand blood vessels in the penis contributing to fuller and harder erections… yup.

4. Boost your Testosterone

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Testosterone has an important role in both central and peripheral contributors to an erection. Testosterone and Growth Hormone (GH) release is proportional to the amount of muscle tissue working; therefore boost your testosterone by making sure you don’t neglect those large leg and back muscles.

Cortisol (the ‘stress’ hormone) also has a suppressive effect on testosterone and the effect is more pronounced at night. Cortisol increases if we overtrain (spend more than 90 minutes training hard in the gym) and when we perform steady state cardio (like 10k running and long distance cycling). Therefore, keep your workouts on the shorter, more intense side of the scale (even two 30 minute sessions a day will boost GH and testosterone more than a single 60-90 minute session) and opt for HIIT and interval training instead of the traditional steady state cardio.

Minimising stress via meditation, relaxation and improving sleep quality and length, will also have a significant impact on your testosterone and therefore boner levels.

Get help with your exercise

If you need help with you exercise we can help; getting erections, however, is still your responsibility.

Speak to one of our gay personal trainers about devising a personalised fitness and nutrition program to help you “firm up”.

This article was brought you by our partner, GayFitnessUK.com and first published in Feb 2014.

3rd September 2020
DILEMMA | Do I Masturbate Too Much?

A reader asks whether he playing with himself too much.

Hi! I’m a 22-year-old and I’ve been really worried about something.
A couple of months ago I attended some acupuncture sessions at college because I was recommended that I should do something about the pretty stressed life I was having. It turns out they use some Chinese method and it surprised me when one of the therapists told me that I had to stop masturbating.
I can’t tell how on earth she did to figure that out, but from that moment on I started to feel that was serious. She told me it was necessary for me to stop because of something I didn’t get, something about one’s energy and stuff. Even though I didn’t understand her arguments, I had already had this feeling that perhaps I was “waxing my dolphin” too much. The thing is, I can’t help it.
I’ve been trying to stop, but there always comes a moment when I just need to do it (I can do it twice a night). Sometimes I just can’t sleep at night and the only thing that makes me sleepy is self-pleasure. Is it that I’m becoming addicted to it? Is it wrong for my body, for my virility?
Somehow I agreed with the therapist who told me to stop because she mentioned energy. When I masturbate I do feel nice, but I don’t feel as energetic as I feel I was a couple of years ago. I’m really worried; I no longer get the powerful boners that used to wake me up a couple of years ago.
Is there any limit when it comes to masturbation? By the way, I have no boyfriend. My life is pretty busy. Thanks for giving me some advice.
Jason, 22

Hello Jason

I think we should start by saying that masturbation is perfectly normal and almost everyone has had a go at some point. How often you decide to “wax your dolphin” is completely up to you and you shouldn’t feel you need to try and stop. There isn’t a limit to how frequently you masturbate, other than how often you feel like doing it or want to do it.

If it feels right and you’re not hurting anyone else, why deny yourself. FILE PHOTO: © ia__64 Depositphotos

There isn’t a limit to how frequently you masturbate, other than how often you feel like doing it or want to do it.

Some of the problems you’re describing such as a lack of energy and no longer getting strong erections that wake you up could be related to the stress that led to you go for acupuncture in the first place. Overall there are no adverse affects from masturbating and if it’s something you enjoy then I think you should go for it.

Jenna and Jake

Got a problem you’d like advice on? Click here to speak to us

This article was first published in December 2012.

31st August 2020
What is the best way to dispose of a condom?

Use it and bin it…

Condoms are an important part of safer sex, especially if you’re not on PrEP and are engaging in anal sex, but what should you do with the rubber once you’ve spaffed your load.

Once you’ve removed your penis (while still hard) from your partner’s ass, you should roll the Johnny up from the base of your penis towards the end. Sometimes the receptive partner might do this for you, especially if the end of the condom has become a little dirty during sex. Be careful here, because the condom will tend to go inside out as you’re pulling it away from the body – which isn’t so great when the tip of it is full of jizz.

Make sure to have a tissue to hand and as you take the condom from your cock, place the condom into the tissue and fold over the tissue to encase it. Some people like to tie a knot in the condom, so the man mayo doesn’t leak into your bin.

Then… Chuck it in the bin. Do not put it down the toilet.

Can we flush used condoms in the toilet after use?

jarmoluk / Pixabay

Have you seen those fatbergs they’re pulling out of the sewers? Yep, that’s a nasty concoction of condoms, wet wipes and sanitary products and poop all rolled up in fat. It’s not nice and because condoms are mostly latex, they don’t degrade – your trusty condom could be around for decades before it’s broken down. Not so good for the waterways and the planet.

Although did you know you can now get VEGAN condoms?

So chuck it in the bin and then wash your hands.

28th August 2020
Do I need to use lube for anal sex?

When it comes to anal sex, lube is always best and usually, just like bottles of booze at a party – the more the merrier. You really shouldn’t try the Brokeback Mountain spit and shove. You’re likely to hurt yourself and cause damage to your anus or rectum.

You really can’t go wrong with using lubes and there are so many types, brands and bases to try. Some are best if you’re going bareback (that’s sex without a condom) whilst other work best if you’re rubbering up. Some are even recommended for fisting… but maybe that’s a different article altogether.

So what’s the best lube for the job?

Lubes for sex with a condom?

If you’re going for a standard, rubbered up sesh, then a silicone or water-based lube is the best. We recommend lubes like the Liquid Silk or the specially designed anal lube from Lubido. These work best with condom usage. You can also use them in bareback sex as well. Water-based lubes are the easiest to wash and wipe off and don’t stain the bedsheets.

A note to the wise, when using condoms, you may want to use a little more lube than you think you should. It can feel a little drier than without a condom and you should never use oil-based lubes for condom play – it could destroy the integrity of the johnny.

Also never lube up your penis before putting on a condom. The condom is really likely to slip off if you do this. Only lube up the outside of the condom.

Silicon-based lubes tend to last longer than water-based, but not as long as petroleum-based lubes. They are also a little stickier than water-based ones.

What’s the best lube for bareback sex?

For bareback sex you can use water, silicone, oil or petroleum-based lubes. Oil or petroleum-based lubes are more likely to stain your sheets with oil marks, however.

We absolutely recommend ID Millennium for bareback sex. It last longer and a little goes a long way.

More buttery or oily lubes are better for other types of ass play – like fisting. Brands such as Crisco are famous in the gay community for their lubricating abilities.

So how do you apply lube?

A lube launcher can really help you get lube exactly where you need it.

Well, there’s two schools of thought.

As a bottom or the receptive partner you can take control of the lube situation, by maybe putting some lube on your own butthole before you begin, perhaps as you’re getting ready. Use your fingers to get some lube right up inside you. Or you can use a lube launcher, which puts the lube right where you need it!

During the action, you can cover your partner’s dick (condomed or without) with lube as you blow him or jerk him off.

Or if you’re the topper, you can maybe play with your partner’s ass during foreplay and use your fingers to fully lubricate the area. Either way, you’re going to want to make sure that you use enough – and don’t worry about stopping the action if you feel like you need more.

Remember more is more in these situations and it’s best to try a variety of lubes to see which works best for you.

26th August 2020
This Grindr hack will save you a LOT of time
Your average Grindr convo goes something like

Hey
Hey
Horny
Yes…
Into?

That that “into” can turn into a bit of a ballache if you have a list of things that you’re into or interested in trying out, which is why Davey Wavey‘s suggestion during one of his podcasts on Himeros Live blew our minds.

Sure you could just send the standard “wank, suck, fuck” reply, but wouldn’t it be cool to let the guy you’re chatting to know exactly what you’re looking for?

“The List”

“I send the list” he joked, Davey revealed that he a prewritten list of all his turn-ons and what he’s looking for which when you think of it, is brilliant.

It’s really simple and easy to do, plus it’s a great conversation starter.

Simply open up your phone’s notes app and list those kinks and quirks. You can be as specific as you want or leave a couple of things out, for later conversations.

If you’re an XTRA member on Grindr, you can actually save your list to your “saved phrases”.

Just leave a minute before you send, you don’t want it to seem like you’ve got that shiz pre-written.

Getting what you want
Firstly you’re saving a lot of time, not having to type it out over and over and secondly, you’re putting it all out there, increasing your chances of a) getting exactly what you want b) finding someone who’s into the same things as you.

As it is, you shouldn’t really spring fetishes or sexual kinks on a hookup when you’re actually in person, unless it’s part of a wider conversation. Ideally, you need to lay all of that out before you set off so that the person you’re going to hook up with is informed.

https://open.spotify.com/episode/3Zx9CupzaeG3axEvLFIXDu?si=zCW2pkdDQSy8g1FsgsXEvA

Interested in subscribing to Himeros.TV, click here
23rd August 2020
10 Ways To Make Your Semen Taste Better

We’ve been told that the white stuff is good for us, but something tells me they aren’t talking about your boyfriend’s love milk.

We’ve all been there, on your knees, boyfriend’s face in complete ecstasy as he deposits a load in your mouth and you think – “quick someone pass the water / Dettol or duck, what the hell have I just swallowed?”

Well have no fear my cum guzzling friends, here are 10 ways to make your junk taste as sweet as honey.

1. WASH IT ALL OUT

We hear it all the time… ‘Drink more water!’ It washes out all the pollutants – not only great for your cum’s taste but great for skin, liver and kidneys.

2. POLLUTION

Cut down on the pollutants, these are: Alcohol, caffeine, recreational drugs and nicotine. Want to read more about giving up alcohol? Read our editor’s journey to sobriety.

3. VEGGIE DIET

Makes for good tasting sperm, but there are ones to avoid: Cabbage, cauliflower, broccoli, and asparagus all can lead to a bad tasting Oil Of Man.

4. GET FRUITY

Pineapples, papayas, cranberries, melons, mangos, apples, grapes and lemons are all good choices. Fruits that are high in natural sugars help offset the bitter taste of your man chowder.

5. MEATY MEAL

Red meats have to go, I’m sorry, but if you want to keep your boy smiling, then it’s out with meats, like beef, lamb and pork. Swap with good quality, high protein cuts of chicken and turkey.

6. CHEESY

Too many dairy products can make your Man Mayonnaise taste salty, so is best to keep consumption of cheese and milk to a minimum.

7. VAMPIRES

Vampires don’t like garlic, and neither do your two little love-juice making chums. Onions, as well as garlic, are big offenders when it comes to a nasty tasting load, because of their high sulphur content.

8. HERE COMES THE SCIENCE BIT

High chlorophyll is good for tasty cupid’s toothpaste. You can find chlorophyll in parsley, wheatgrass, and celery.

9. TEAS

Ever wondered what extras to put in your Starbuck’s coffee, well Cinnamon is brilliant, as well as other spices such as cardamom.

10. EAT FROM THE EARTH

Junk food makes your Juice taste bad – they’re full of chemicals and preservatives, which pollute your body.

Changes to your food intake will start to have effect on your Love Liquor in around 12 to 24 hours, so keep this in mind; it’s best to have a day of clean livin’ for the rampant dirty night after.

On a more serious note, if your semen smells bad, this might be a sign of infection and you should perhaps visit your GP.

21st August 2020
This is how you can have a threeway and still be on lockdown

How is your 3-way game? Stats show that most gay men and lots of gay couples have had a threesome at some point, and obviously, with lockdown restrictions hindering the hookup scene, we were interested to discover that you can actually still get the feel of a threeway, even when there’s just the two of you.

Davey Wavey’s porn studio Himeros.TV recently released a scene between stars Dakota Payne, Taylor Reign and Calvin Bank’s realistic dildo… and we have to say it was hot AF.

The premise is actually pretty simple, in the video, the couple uses Calvin’s realistic dong (although it could be any dildo, (check out the range from THEGAYSHOP) to simulate a spit roast scenario, with the real guy at the front and a dildo attached to a fuck machine at the back.

Okay, okay, a fuck machine is the expensive but more realistic option – as the machine does the thrusting, much like a real person. However, if a machine like that is out of your price range, most dildos come with a suction pad on the base, so you can attach it to a wall or mirror if you want to get very kinky – and your bottom can do all the work – a pretty good work out too!

Don’t forget if you’re using a sizable butt toy, (Calvin Banks’ dildo comes in at 7.75 inches) to use lots of lube. We’ve spoken before about how to play with big toys.

20th August 2020
Here’s how you can simulate anal sex, when you’re not, you know, ready to bottom

Well, the party doesn’t have to stop and you can still simulate anal sex for your partner, without actually taking the D inside you.

This article discusses sexual matter.

The spoon

This has the added element of a natural sexual position. Lying in a spoon position, with the top lying behind the bottom, who spreads his legs slightly allowing the top to place his dick in between the bottom’s thighs, just below his butthole.

The bottom/person at the front then closes their legs, creating a tight crevice for the person behind. Add lube, to make it more comfortable for the both of you. Silicone lube is best for this position as you won’t need a lot and it’s very long-lasting. This position can also be achieved in doggie style.

Doggie Style

The same technique as the spoon, except the bottom, is on all fours and the top “enters” from behind by placing his dick into the groin gap between the bottom’s thigh and scrotum.

What’s cool about this position, is that both of you get a pleasurable experience, there are lots of nerve endings around the groin area so it will feel good. The top also has a wider range of movement for thrusting – so it will feel good for them too!

Plus for the cumming situ, there’s the added bonus that the top can blow his load all over his partner’s butt!

The armpit

If you’re both up for something a little bit different you could try shoulder f*cking. Yep, you read that right.

Essentially what happens here is the “top” puts his dick in the armpit gap created by the “bottom”‘s arm against his torso.

This position is great for couples who like to face each other when having sex and also those who like to think outside the box when it comes to positions.

If you like mixing laughter with f*cking, this is a great position because you’re very likely to burst out laughing at some point.

The cumming situ is also good here, as the top can spurt in various places, including the face or the torso. Win-win for all those cum lovers out there.

Apart from anything else, these positions offer an almost STI-free way of having sex. However, because there is skin on skin contact, you could still contract skin to skin STIs.

As always, it’s good to add sexual health testing to your healthcare regime. If you’re having sex regularly with the same or multiple partners, experts suggest getting a check-up every three to six months.

PHOTOS from NoirMale with Skyy Knoxx and DeAngelo Jackson. Get your subscription here

14th August 2020
There’s a new way of describing anal sex… and we’re not so sure

When it comes to gay sex (the penetrative kind) there’s usually just one way of saying what is it, anal. It’s simple, to the point and everyone knows what you’re talking about, but there’s now another way to refer to anal sex and that is, according to Urban Dictionary “Two Guys One Sandbox”

Insert shrug emoji.

We’re so not sure about this.

Firstly, the first rule of anal sex (okay it’s not the first – that’s lube, lube and more lube) but SAND and its introduction to you nether region is a complete no no…

Can you image sand all up in your junk? Oh. Dear. God. No. Just No.

I mean, we get the two guys bit, but the sandbox bit, who calls their butt a sandbox?

It seems that the “Two Guys One Sandbox” entry on Urban Dictionary was created in 2016 by a user called, treezus0522, and that entry is their one and only listing. It hasn’t, not really surprisingly received too much traction.

Probably wise.

13th August 2020