Madonna has revealed what her house rules are.

If you find yourself happening to live with global, epic, superstar Madonna, you’d better start living by her rules.

Taking to Instagram the Like A Virgin singer revealed what her house rules are.

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Words to live by?

A post shared by Madonna (@madonna) on

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It’s all pretty standard let’s face it:

1) Smile – check

2) Be Happy – got it

3) Listen to other – Huh? Does she?

4) Speak kindness – rightiho

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5) Be happy with what you have – oh piss off, we all know she’s the original Material Girl. – We jest, we jest.

So now we have an insight into what happens chez Madonna – and we were hoping that the house rules would be a little more:

1) Make people bare their souls on film in the form of a truth or dare…

2) Why wear one covering of lace when you can layer up and have 3 or 4

3) Everyday is an opportunity to reinvent – use it.

4) Cancel the order for capes

5) Defy ageing