The words cock and sucker are bandied about a lot. It’s one of the phrases that almost gets a pass, and then you really hear it and you think, “hang on a minute” that person is being called a slur, based on the assumption that sucking cock is a bad thing and when it’s directed at another man, it’s deemed even more of a diss.
Now, to be honest, I’m not sure we hear it a lot here in the UK, but I have heard it a lot on TV shows, particularly US shows and Hollywood films – who have thunk it, Hollywood being accused of homophobia!
Anyway, someone recently asked on the AskGayMen subreddit whether “cocksucker” was a homophobic insult and it opened up a good discussion on the use of the word.
A slur for men and women
To start off, as one user pointed out, it’s not just an insult to gay men, but to women and bi men as well, while another wrote, that calling someone a CS was both “homophobic and misogynistic”.
Another added, that if it was intended as an insult then it was homophobic, which was echoed by another use with: “It’s said as an insult, and clearly targets homosexual men.
“It implies that being a gay man is wrong”
This person added, “Yes, it is a homophobic insult. Calling someone a cocksucker (always towards another guy) is meant to wound them because to a straight guy, nothing is more demeaning than to be compared to a gay man. Cock sucker, fudge packer, all insults revolving around sexual acts. All pathetic attempts to show off how manly they are”.
Submission as a bad thing
So when did submission become something to be ridiculed and why is it?
One person gave context to the insult explaining, “Yes it’s technically an insult. Because it’s intended that sucking cock is generally viewed as being submissive and it’s usually something women do, implying that being a woman or submissive is a bad thing.
“But when in a sexual context, many people love being called a cocksucker, both men and women, because they feel more slutty, and being slutty is generally seen as taboo or something you shouldn’t be, because of cultural and religious reasons, and sexual freedom is seen as the enemy of the society.”
So, when it’s said to you to make you seem submissive, it’s bad, but when it’s said to you, in the moment of actually cocksucking and dirty talk is your thing then it’s good. Got it.
So basically, yeah. It’s homophobic, let’s stop using it unless of course, you are actually a cocksucker and you like being called one.
Own that label baby.