Entry fee is 50p per inch…

Hold on to your junk fellas – as those of you who are packing a little less than the average have the opportunity to have your own festival and it’s a bargain too. Just 50p per inch.

Attendees will be asked on entry how many inches they are sneaking in and charged accordingly according to the Mirror. The festival has been launched by poet Ant Smith who said, “For too long, men who perceive their penises to be small have been made to feel inadequate. It’s time to stand up and say there’s nothing wrong with having a little nob,

“It’s an open invite to everybody, male or female. We’ve all been touched by a small penis in our lifetime, now’s the time to give something back.”

Ladies will be charged on how many inches they actually like – so size queens expect to pay through the nose for entry. As the average erect penis is 6 inches, the average cost of entry would be, £3.

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The Big Small Penis Party will be held on March 7 at The Rhythm Factory in Whitechapel.