Ah the 80s. The decade where pastel coloured ponies, high heeled clad super heroes atop of unicorns and pink haired wannabe filled our screens and therefore made, nay, forced us to be a little bit gay…
Let’s look at the evidence…
Firstly there were the CareBears, animals with hearts on their chests and a pink one flying a rainbow flag. It’s like they knew. I think this is the carton that made me gay.
My Little Pony
Then a little while later these tricksy little pastel coloured Equus caballus came along and turned my world upside down. Yes I may even have purchased a My Little Pony pony… Jealous. I know you are… My father was a proud man that evening after discovering his son mucking out his My Little Pony pony
SuperTed and Spotty. Remember these little critters? Magical “powder’ and “medicine” made Teddy SuperTed, some kind of crazy roid-raging do-gooder. All the while having some dude dressed as a spotty banana, with a terrible haircut living on a space station feeding you more “powder” and “medicine”, bit like me and friends at Popstarz circa 2004
Now She-Ra was a personal favourite, not only was she a complete superhero, but also she wore heels whilst saving the world. Did Superman do that? Nope. What a vamp. Her friends included a pixie, a guy who looked like he was a 70’s porn star and a broomstick. Obvs! I mean she saved the world on a freakin’ flying unicorn.
There’s no one who can deep throat a banana like Eric. This guy single handedly taught me everything I needed to know. However, I never turned into Banana Man, so perhaps we’re not what we eat after all
Thundercats Ho…. Apparently. Massive swords, a lady cheetah, who runs in wedges espadrilles and a rippled muscle man panther. I just don’t know where to go with this. Even the f**king animal people have better bodies than me. Boundless energy and a stupid pissy cat called Snarf. Good times. All a little bit camp – and Mumra looks like several drag queens I’ve known and loved.