The director and writer of the film The Big Gay Musical has died after committing suicide.

Film producer and director Fred M Caruso has died after committing suicide in Las Vegas. He was 41-years-old.

He left a long, heartbreaking note on The Big Gay Musical‘s Facebook page – and timed it to publish soon after his death.

Mr Caruso said that he had made peace with his decision to end his life but also spoke about how miserable he was in his life and his terrible loneliness.

He asked that if people wished to make a donation that they contribute to the Trevor Project, a national 24-hour, free phone suicide hotline in the United States. He pleaded with his friends and fans not to feel guilty and thanked everyone who touched his life.

The writer also revealed that he had attempted to take his life a week prior to successfully taking his life by taking 30 Ambien pills – but was not successful.

Read his note here:

“WELL… Hey everyone – I have some good news – I will no longer be sending out BERNIE s***. Its (sic) not because I support hiLIARy (sic) – its (sic) because I’m no longer alive.

“(yes I’ve been making bad jokes for 41 yrs (sic) and I intend to end things the way it began.) I have been forced to send this out through the BGM page – cause (sic) Facebook doesn’t allow you to delay posts on your personal page.’

“For … most of my life I have been absolutely miserable – exact (sic) for when I was creating,’ he explained.

“I have nothing left in me to create. I truly don’t think I have any idea what love or happiness is.

“I have been incredibly lonely and at the same time – I hate being around people. I hate meeting new people and I’m always waiting for someone to stab me in the back. – lets just say I already have a whole culinary collection.”

The Big Gay Musical was released in 2009 and was directed by Mr. Caruso and Casper Andreas. Caruso also directed Go Go Crazy in 2011.

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If you are affected by this subject of this article or need to talk to someone you can call Switchboard, the LGBT+ hotline on 0300 330 0630 or the Samaritans on 116123