Apparently, my driving is Gay!
I took a colleague with me the other night and dropped him off home as it was on my way.
Today I overheard him talking with others and he described my driving as “gay”! I felt compelled to challenge him. You see I was not out at work, but using the term gay in a derogatory way just makes the small hairs on the back of my neck stand up; I think my upper lip curls to a snarl too.
It would appear my adherence to the speed limit and signalling was the reason for terming my driving as “Gay” or ‘like a woman.’
He went on in front of his young friends to tell me all about the advances of modern technology and how quick a car could brake. One of his friends has a ‘souped up’ hatchback (I actually think it has spoilers, skirts, fancy wheels and a big shiny exhaust; but a standard engine) and he has taken the same colleague home. He boasted how he could easily take two to three minutes off my time.
I will never be a hero, well except in the bedroom, and even then my days of coming off the wardrobe in a cape are behind me. Ever the more so, as middle-aged spread makes me as aerodynamic as a brick!
I said it to them, “I will never be a hero, but I do know common sense. I agree there have been significant advances with cars, but humans are just as fragile as they were at the start of the age of the car. I may never save a life, but the way I drive could mean; I will never take a life.
I have a better chance of stopping should a child run out in front of me. Heaven forbid I should run a child over; they would have a greater chance of survival with a low-speed impact. Just for your information by the way I am gay too, proud of it and my driving.”
Perhaps I have got past the dick measuring stage and penis/car substitution, after all at my time of life its size has as much to do with the weather as any other stimulus!
Disillusioned and back in the closet man who likes other men.
Strongly opinionated, possibly outdated. Genuine, cynical, candid and consider I have a humourous outlook.
Older than acceptable in Gay circles, larger of frame than is fashionably desirable.
Looking for a platform to share my views and listen to others
Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you'd like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.