Thought I would mention cyclists. I am not one I would like to point out, from the very start. To give balance I am sure there are considerate and road aware cyclists. In fact, I encountered one earlier this week. An elderly lady who pulled over to the side of the road at a point of narrowing to signal me past.
I travel on country lanes on my daily commute and the vista is a delight to behold. Other road users including tractors, horse riders, car drivers, and I pull over for those who have a more urgent need to get to journey’s end. This is not reflective in my experience of the cyclist.
I say to men of any age; before dressing in the lycra outfit you have purchased, empty a bag of spuds into it to get some contextual vision into the sight you will become. If you are unfit before mounting, the clothing is not like a superhero costume, it does not enhance your performance. It just makes you stand out as a fool.
There is something about a man and his fascination with all things phallic that drives a male “old enough to know better” to shrink wrap his body in Lycra and place on his head a slipstream carbon fibre helmet to complete the image of an erect member. Hardly surprising then that they are complete “d*cks” on the road.
On my journey home last night I came to a queue of traffic on an A class road. As I got closer to the front, there he was “cycleman”, all in black with a black helmet and on a black bike. In poor visibility and with no lights.
To add insult to injury this athlete of the highway was proceeding at an earth-shattering 6 or 7 miles an hour. This breakneck speed impaired his ability to turn his head and see what a total nuisance he was being to commuting traffic in tax paying vehicles. The reason for his slow progress, he was holding aloft his mobile device and filming himself.
Having passed him I looked into my rearview mirror and he was still in the middle of the road ignoring other road users. The only other thing I would surmise about him was, he was a man of small appetite. I deduce this from him having a very small lycra lunchbox.
On another recent occasion, I was sat in a line of traffic in the town centre with my right-hand indicator on to turn at the next junction. I was in a road position to the right of the lane with a number of other vehicles that were indicating the same intent. At the moment there was a gap in the oncoming traffic enabling my turn to be conducted safely I had to brake hard as “cycleman” came down the outside of the lane ignoring all of the indicators and riding in the middle of the road.
We live in an age where we are encouraged to be environmentally friendly and considerate. One man on a bicycle may be that – until he has a 2-mile tailback of carbon-emitting traffic he is ignoring behind him.
As a car driver, I can be held accountable and I am identifiable from my vehicle registration. It could be any road user that makes a note of my number or a camera on the highway if I am speeding, perhaps one on a set of traffic lights if I go over on amber or red, or a dashboard cam of any other road user, finally even a mobile phone cam handheld by a pedestrian can be used to report me or any other licensed road user. I have lost count of the number of cyclists I have seen breaking the law of the highway and failing to show even the slightest amount of courtesy and why should they; as they are totally anonymous and unaccountable.
A man in Lycra can be a sight to behold, a bulge to indulge, a fetish to crave; until he mounts his machine and becomes just another drain dodger!
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Disillusioned and back in the closet man who likes other men.
Strongly opinionated, possibly outdated. Genuine, cynical, candid and consider I have a humourous outlook.
Older than acceptable in Gay circles, larger of frame than is fashionably desirable.
Looking for a platform to share my views and listen to others
Opinions expressed in this article may not reflect those of THEGAYUK, its management or editorial teams. If you'd like to comment or write a comment, opinion or blog piece, please click here.
I have never seen a more abusive, righteous, self-certifiying victims like the cycling community. They can’t take criticism, they are bullying, threatening and abusive. We are all entitled to an opinion, unless of course we want to criticise a body of people, who inflict their daily commute on everybody else.
Change the word “cycling” for “gay” and see how it sounds. Unacceptable stereotyping, no?
Are you seriously comparing being gay to cyclists?
I’ve seen some weak-ass anti-cycling drivel in my time, but this is close to the top. Or bottom, depending on your point of view. Pointless, idiotic bile. Congratulations.
Newsflash – cyclists pay taxes too. Or maybe you think your payment of Vehicle Excise Duty, a tax on harmful emissions which doesn’t pay for roads – actually gives motor vehicles greater rights to the Public Highways than cyclists. In which case, not only are you a bigot, you’re also ignorant.
No I am not a bigot or an idiot, I am also not as contentious as it appears cyclists are. It is merely about consideration on the roads and courtesy. May be even the same could be extended to comments? Sometimes some groups seem to have preferential consideration and lack good manners. I have without exception never seen it in horse riders.
Does the author really believe you can phone the police, give them a car registration and the criminal driver gets a fine? Has he ever actually tried this?
I am damn sure it is the case if I think someone has got into a car to drive under the influence of alcohol
Try it if you like. The police will say “Is it an emergency, has anyone been hurt?” and if the answer’s no it will go no further. This idea that number plates makes citizens into police is laughable. Only 2% of speeding drivers get caught. 70% of drivers admit often speeding, only 1m a year get caught. Same with mobiles. Same with red light jumping. Number plates make no difference.
I speak from experience. I don’t need to try it. I have done it. Love the use of statistics with no reference point to back them up. Just remind me, how is it people are traced when they get caught by speed cameras? It is your idea number plates makes citizens into Police, mine is that it makes them accountable and that is not the case with cyclists as they are in the main unidentifiable.
You phoned the police to report a driver? What happened?
Following advice I had been given I dialed 999 with the name of the driver, the car reg, colour and make of the vehicle. I also knew the route they were likely to be taking.The Police informed me they were already on their way, I was not the first person to make a report. The driver was arrested, did not get bail and was returned to prison.There were other factors involved in this, but this is how I know it works. Thank you for taking the time to read the piece I wrote regarding cyclists and to comment.
So nothing to do with simply reporting a driver then.
On the contrary it was absolutely to do with reporting a driver. You could call your local force enquiry service and ask them about their process. My point remains unchanged it is about accountability and registration numbers make other road users who have them accountable and identifiable, whilst cyclists are not.
You realise that there are more uninsured drivers on the roads than regular cyclists? 1.2m versus 1m. All those drivers have number plates. All are illegal. Number plates moke no difference, the police will do nothing if they don’t witness the offence. You are misinformed. The entire article is predicated on two strange anecdotes. You go on at length about lycra and sexual organs. You criticise correct road positioning. It’s a worthless, tawdry article and if someone wrote an article attacking all gay people on the basis of encountering two daft gay people they’d rightly be called a bigot. It’s a dumb article designed to foment enmity. You can’t write very well and you’re not as funny as you think you are. Pay attention to your driving and stop staring at mens’ crotches.
You are entitled to your opinion. Have a look here to correct your imagined figures about how many people cycle http://www.cyclinguk.org/resources/cycling-uk-cycling-statistics#How many people cycle and how often? It is a year out of date and cycling is predicted to be on the increase. Certainly suggests many more cyclists than you speculate, though I agree on the number of uninsured drivers as of 2016 http://www.mib.org.uk/media-centre/news/2016/september/one-million-uninsured-drivers-still-too-many/. If you imagine driving down the outside of cars who are indicating right as correct road positioning you are deluded. My commute takes me on the part of the route commonly used by cyclists going from Lands End to John O’ Groats. So my experience of encountering them is not based on the small sample you suggest, but possibly many more than most regular road users would encounter, other than those living in inner cities where there are universities and possibly cycle couriers( though on my drive they are not safely ensconced within cycling lanes). It has 3 anecdotes if you care to include the elderly female rider in the introduction. I would love to offer critique on what you write but I suspect you are to busy critising the work of others as when I looked you up on disqus at the start of this exchange you had made 940 comments and protected your identity. Perhaps you served some of the others who dared to respond and challenge you with a dose of the same vitriol you have offered up to me. If I was a betting man I would lay odds on you needing to have the last word…………..