X-MEN : APOCALYPSE – The Third, Sixth or Ninth helping from the X universe depending on how you are counting them up and this time it’s the end of the world by missile or metal in the earths core we got confused.
Photo Credit: Alan Markfield.

Nutshell – A huge cast of characters come together to do battle with Apocalypse a century’s old mutant from ancient Egypt who is backed with his oh so evil four horsemen one of which is regular Mutant bad guy Magneto. Everyone is back but it all turns into a bit of a confused mess to be honest trying to fit far too much in and so many character arcs. Extensive knowledge of the previous films will greatly help as they are referenced throughout but the real problem here is the bad guys who are pretty undeveloped and seem to be massively pissed at the 21st Century for no real reason we could see and boy is it long leading eventually to a pretty weak and throwaway climax.

Time – 144 mins; Certificate – 12A

Tagline – ‘Prepare For The Apocalypse; Only The Strong Will Survive’.

THE GAY UK FACTOR – As with all superhero films you get a load of very fit muscular guys in tight spandex outfits and this film has more than most so all good there. Our faves are Michael Fassbender who is now odds on favourite to be the next James Bond and Nicholas Hoult who always looks so hot and sexually corruptible. Luckily they both have a lot of screen time and they stand out from every scene they are in.

Cast – James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence, Oscar Isaac, Nicholas Hoult, Rose Byrne and the sexiest new star we have seen for a long while Ben Hardy as Angel plus some famous uncredited cameos.

Key Player – Michael Fassbender just hogs your attention throughout. In his third appearance as Magneto he could do this in his sleep but luckily this time he has an even bigger character arc to work with. He is now arguably the best actor on the planet and he relishes being a bad guy that you would not want to meet on a lonely dark street or maybe you would ?.

Budget – A whopping $178 Million which it has just made back largely on the success of the previous titles in the franchise. This will be the least successful X-Men film to date and with no obvious threads as to where to go next so it might get interesting over at Marvel HQ and Wolverine may be getting a phone call.

Best Bit – 0.10 mins; A great West Berlin sequench of forced cage fighting of mutants against their will that really makes you think you are in for a great movie – you aren’t..

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Worst Bit – 1.50 mins; The last 40 mins is a pretty overpumped uninvolving sequence of action beats that are all lacklustre. Maybe consider leaving early before the Cities of the World are turned to dust killing millions whilst none of the characters really seem that bothered about the death count.

Little Secret – Although the box office on Apocalypse will be below what was hoped there are already two more X-Men films planned namely X-Force & X-Men: The New Mutants. This is the final part of the ‘First Class’ Trilogy and the future films will concentrate on the new young mutants introduced here.

Movie Mistake – It all gets a bit questionable when Magneto starts to raise anything metal from the ground but there are so many things which don’t seem affected at all including cars and lorries in the background and then the metallic X-men airplane also seems to be un affected and don’t look to hard at all the English signs in the Auschwitz camp scene either.

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Further Viewing – Any movie with a X in the title or Wolverine, Avengers Assemble, Iron Man, The Fantastic Four, Guardians of the Galaxy and everything starring Fassbender.

Any Good – It has all the right ingredients but boy does it do very little with the great talent, director and budget. This is without doubt the poorest of the series with too many characters and baddies you won’t register with. See it so as you know what is happening in the ongoing series but tbh this is a disappointment and a missed opportunity.

Rating – 81/100 (81st out of the last 100 films reviewed with 1 being best and 100 being a damp squib).

About the author: Paul Stag
Estbablished gay writer for a well known monthly magazine Dirty Boyz part of Boyz magazine with about 30 pages published each time. Mainly adult entertainment, fetish, travel, events, film reviews. Also pop culture from movies/TV and music.