World Cup fever is officially upon us and we’re finding ourselves casually enjoying the sight of 11 men running around a field, hugging and kissing each other.

Who is the biggest on the pitch?

Plus, sometimes you get to see what we’re calling the Louis, (that’s the no-undies-jiggle). Why do we call it the Louis – check out why here.

Anyway, the World Cup is basically just one big sausage fest with a leather ball thrown into the middle of it. It got us wondering, which nation has the biggest package.


Pure thoughts. I know.

Luckily the good people at Hims made us a chart. It’s easy to read, print out and laminate. Apparently, according to Hims, this is so fans can compare players, tactics and well a new stat – their penis size.


So from the 32 qualifying nations, it seems that the guys in Columbia are the monsters on the field, with an average whopper which measures 6.7 inches followed by the lads in Iceland, which inches in behind on 6.5 inches.

We have no word on how Hims measured these stats, but we’re totally engrossed. We haven’t studied this hard since Home Economics GCSE.

So who was at the bottom of the table?


Coming in last was Japan, who measured at 4.3 inches and South Korea who measured at 4.6 inches – which is not to be sniffed at.

We’re no size queens here.

So where did England fit? British lads come 23rd in the line up with an average of 5.5 inches – sandwiched between Poland (5.63 inches) and Spain (4.45 inches). Dreams.


Check out the measuring up table below.

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Now you’ll be able to watch the matches, armed with that little extra info you need.

Knowledge is power people. Knowledge is power.

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