If you don’t know who Sinitta is then we can only ask one question, which rock have you been sleeping under? We talk to X FACTOR’s favourite guest… Sinitta.

So… So Many Men So Little Time, we’re getting a theme here with your hits – all to do with man loving, (girl after our own heart)… So what are you looking for this time, someone Macho? Toy Boyish? or other?
Actually now I’m looking for someone gorgeous with a big big BIG heart!
Lips that are juicy and chewy, a touch that is firm but gentle… I’m crazy and emotional, I need passion, warmth and soul. I want eyes that I can melt in and a chest I can lie on and weep on and sleep on and a body I can feast on. Forever… Sorry Did I say that out loud?

5/5 She’s an animal. Someone get this woman a man… Stat!

What’s your feelings about grown men in Onesies?
Hmmm I actually got to see quite a few this year and they were men of all different shapes and sizes. They looked ridiculous but comfortable, so it was kind of sweet really.

4/5 Come on now Sinitta, ridiculous is the word… Comfortable and fashion are two words that should never be heard together… You should know that!

Do you know what ‘Sounding’ is?

Explain to Sinitta that it involves men’s bits and a metal rod…

Even with the clues – just NO! No idea!

2/5 The naive mind is a precious place. Once you’ve seen it – you can’t un-see it.

Have you ever given or tried to give fashion advice to Simon Cowell?
Of course!

3/5 And does he listen? We think you need to take scissors to his high wasted jeans and cut cut cut.

What’s the strangest thing you’ve ever read about yourself?
Oh dear, ok latest one is that Simon has me gagged so I can’t talk about stuff. How can you GAG THE MOUTH?!! Anyway, it’s not true, I actually exercise my own censorships and discretions, it’s Louis who needs a Gag! And a Bit, and a Bridle!

6/5 Love that she’s referred to herself as THE MOUTH. Extra points for the capitalisation but we’ve deducted some points for the mental image of Louis in a gag, bit and bridle.

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The biggest pain in the world is… a) Simon Cowell b) Child birth, or c) Getting a tropical plant’s leaf stuck in a place that it shouldn’t be?
This one’s easy, a Broken Heart. That thing can just ache and ache and ache for such a long time, you wonder if you will EVER be the same again. But TRUTH is, eventually you will get better and it will be ok.

4/5 White wine heals all wounds darl, white wine and Tramadol.

Is there any possible way to out camp the leaf dress?
I really do hope so, though I must admit I haven’t thought of it yet… Imagine if I have “peaked in campness” now, with so many years left to live – nightmare!

4/5 Perish the thought – Can we suggest you in an oversized champagne glass, served with 4 topless hunks, wearing nothing but the labels of a well known champagne brand?

You seem to be the nicest celebrity that ever graced the earth! There must be an inner Diva? Ever had a stand up argument with another celebrity? Who, What, When and did you patch it up?
Aah, that’s really sweet of you to say that… Hmmm I did have a very famous fight with Pete Burns back in the 90s – we were performing with Kylie. Playing the Tokyo Dome he is about 6ft 2 and me 5ft 4 and he thought I was babyish and said, “Here she is-LITTLE MISS SHOWBIZ” in a catty voice and tried to fling me off of the stage! I think we were fighting over a boy, I can’t really remember what triggered it, so I grabbed him by his weave and shook him until all of his rings fell off and threw him onto the ground and stood on him in my red patent leather heels! 
Ok, now the truth -
I was pretty lame I must admit, I think I just let some big man pick me up and carry me away and then started yelling back at him from a safe distance! We are good though Pete and I, we actually get along well if we see each other. He’s actually a big softie!

10/5 – Automatic 2 extra points for mentioning Kylie. Two more points for the over active imagination and the visual of grabbing Pete by the weave and 1 more for the truth fairy…

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What’s the best advice you’ve ever been given?
Best advice I have ever been given – gosh so much good stuff… Be true to yourself always, then at least you always know who you are and where you are at. That may have been me who said that. Or, if you are going through Hell, just keep on going and don’t stop until you get the hell out of there – and no matter how hurt you get never give up on Love… Love fiercely, even when you fight… Love each other

4/5 This is very Celine Dion. We like.

What are you doing, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday night? Aren’t you knackered?
Knackered!!! Actually when not being a disco diva or being Mama, you can find me on my lover’s chest watching House of Cards. On Netflix! It’s incredible… After that I will be watching Scandal. Kerry Washington! Sounds so normal right? But, I will be wearing Westwood heels and a Chanel feather jacket…

7/5 Sinitta you kill us. Long live the Leaf wearing campness that is Diva Mamma Sinitta.

So Many Men, So Little Time is out now via all good digital retailers.

About the author: Jake Hook
The editor and chief of THEGAYUK. All in a previous life wrote and produced songs on multi-platinum records.